Being Present for What Is

I am hearing a lot of talk about kicking 2020 to the curb for obvious reasons. We want to be done with the hardship, loneliness, isolation and tragic loss that the pandemic has created.  That makes sense.  Avoid pain.  Seek pleasure.  It's primal.  However, "done" is relative and comes a little gradually.  The pandemic year (2020) will still be felt in 2021, even as I call 2021 "the year of the vaccine."  

It won't take much for a lot of us to see 2021 as being "better" than 2020.  We will be coming out of these modern day "dark ages."  However, by dwelling on getting "this" over with robs us from living in "this moment" which is what being mindful and non judgmental is all about.  Being mindful means we don't dwell on the past.  Other years had vacations and parties and travel.  This year had couches and Netflix and masks.  BOO. We also don't rush to anticipate the future which is not here yet.  As soon as I get the vaccine, I'm good to go.  YEAH!  Wait a second--it's not a switch that gets flipped.  This is a process.  Just like your long healthy life is a process not an event.

This year, like all years prior, I sent out Christmas cards.  This year, however, I asked people on Instagram if they wanted a card from me.  Some people said yes, and I happily sent them a card.  How old fashioned to get a card in the mail if you aren't used to it.  This year gave time and space for that to happen.  I saved those addresses of people I normally don't send to, and guess what--they are getting a card again next year.  Connection--look how much we crave it.  

With Christmas a few days away, I am encountering a lot of long faces and booing and hooing.  Yet, this is what it IS.  This holiday season cannot be anything other than what it is.  The same way YOU cannot be anyone other than who you are.  With that in mind, pause a moment and look at what you do have.  If it's your health, you WIN.  If it's a family of origin or choice, you WIN.  If it's a beloved pet, you WIN.  If it's comfort and security in your home, you WIN.  If it's a dream in your heart for others who have less, you WIN.  If it's gratitude for the moment, you WIN.  If it's a deep breath landing over your heart as your heart smiles back at you, you WIN.  If you notice these things, you WIN.  That's what this season IS.

You are at the Center of Your Life

In qi gong, yoga and regular old fitness at the gym, the instructor always says--it all starts from the center.  The code word for that nowadays is the core.  Just like an apple has a center--its core that started with its core--a seed--and without that seed, it would never develop into a round piece of fruit we'd recognize at the grocery store, we too have a core inside of us.  This is both physical and metaphorical.  When what is inside of us is firmly planted and nurtured, we have the power to grow into what we imagine.  Strengthening and protecting the core is significant because the world around us can be harsh.  We might get blown around by influences that interfere with our own value, standing and stability.

You get the metaphor. You are smart.  But, let's consider how often we might let something that interferes with our core values hinder us.  Consider that your times is a precious commodity as a core value.  You take care to guard it so that you say NO to what you don't care about and YES to what you do care about.  On a daily basis, that might mean that you say NO to sleeping in and YES to getting up early and getting your day started on the right track.  It also might mean that you say NO to things that take up too much of your time and offer too little in return.  What if someone said--how about we go and do a field trip to the mall for...?  And, you know this person always takes an excessively long time to look and select items.  Maybe you declare that you have an hour for this activity, but then you have to go.  That preserves your interests (your CORE value that your time is precious) and also allows you to enjoy your friend and your activity together.

The pandemic has given us extra time to think about what matters.  Life has changed so drastically, we can't help but reconsider how we live.  Giving away your time for people or things that don't matter to you is not fulfilling.  It leaves less time and more resentment in its wake.  

It's time to reflect on what you really care about.  What are those seeds that have been planted by your parents and teachers?  What is waiting for more nurturing?  What needs to grow a little more, inside of you, so that you get more life outside of you?  And, what might you consider saying NO to, so that you strengthen your CORE, your resolve, to say YES to yourself?

Pivot with Your Routines to Stay Motivated

It's that time of year, and we are heading into the long winter's night which means that it is time to switch things around.  Nature is actually cuing us to make a change.  So, let's go "with the flow" not against it, and consider our options.

When it comes to food, we start craving heartier fare.  That might mean more calories, but it doesn't have to.  There are plenty of ways to eat healthfully and still get those comfort foods in.  Think about stews, soups and curries.  Think about crock pot cooking or sheet pan cooking where you can get it all done in one vessel (less clean up).   Think about an aromatic tray of baked frozen peaches.  YUM.  That always makes me feel comforted and can satisfy sweets cravings.

As for activity, it's a mindset game.  Is going outdoors for multiple ten minute walks in the cold, dressed for the weather, more appealing and more sustainable than a 30 minute walk in the dark after dinner?  You decide.  Is looking at the weather itself as something to be embraced yet another mindset shift that might make it more likely that you will explore the great outdoors despite the cold temps?  Is finding a buddy to walk with or work out with (even remotely) another pivot for this time of year?  Why--because activity is a mood booster and good for the body and mind and sleep.  

Speaking of sleep, let's consider what it takes to get quality sleep and commit to it.  I know I sleep more in the winter than I do in the summer.  It's dark.  It's easier to go to bed when it's dark for so long.  That's ok.  I am "going with the flow."  I just read that getting good quality sleep helps vaccines work better.  I'll be getting a vaccine sometime soonish, I am hoping, so I will remember this little nugget.

Consider one idea, or all of the above ideas to change with the season and embrace the time you have so that you get more of the health and wellness you are looking for.  You are worth the effort.  

Counting Blessings--and Remembering

It was the day before Thanksgiving nineteen years ago when my second daughter, Natalie, woke up very ill. She was just six weeks away from the open heart surgery that corrected a congenital heart defect (vsd), and she had a fever and was vomiting.  She was 5 1/2 months old, and she was still very small for her age because of failing to thrive for the first four months of life due to the defect.  We called the pediatrician who said to come right in.  Since we had been so consumed with her heart health since her birth, we assumed there must be a problem.  They took blood, and it showed an unbelievably high white count (sign of infection).  It was such an unexpected result that they repeated the test.  The pediatrician contacted the cardiologist who said to come right in.  

It was an unusually warm, sunny 60' day in November in Minnesota.  I had already done the Thanksgiving shopping, decorated the table with fresh flower arrangements.  We were expecting my sister to arrive from New York.  Yet, we found ourselves at Children's Hospital once again.  The cardiologist quickly determined there was nothing wrong with her heart and contacted the oncology service for further testing.  We were immediately admitted to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit, which we were familiar with having spent time there after her heart surgery.  It was surreal.  

More blood was drawn.  I tried to comfort Natalie.  We were waiting.  Then our cardiologist, Dr. Singh, walked in to tell us that Natalie had leukemia.  I didn't hear it, because when the oncologist came in to tell us that they are pretty certain which kind of leukemia we were dealing with (Acute Myelogenous Leukemia) the more aggressive type of leukemia, I didn't comprehend what she was saying either.  I couldn't believe there was anything so wrong with my precious baby girl.  

And just like that, our lives changed forever.  

I got to spend the night with Natalie in the PICU even though that wasn't usually allowed.  I held her in the bed and tried to comfort her, as life as I ever knew it came tumbling down around me.  It was not just Thanksgiving that was spent in Children's Hospital.  It was Christmas, New Years, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, and then finally, on a snowy Easter morning we got to bring our Natalie home for good with a feeding tube, a methadone drip, a catheter inside her chest.  Life was truly upside down.

I cannot help remembering that year, every single year.  I wish I could forget, but the PTSD that I got from the hospital experience won't let me.  So, it is nineteen years later, and despite the pandemic and all the ups and downs the world has seen, I remain blessed beyond belief for my daughter, for her survival after three resuscitations, for her life, for her health and for the health of my family.  

Gratitude Is a Goal

With Thanksgiving coming up while the virus is surging, we are all facing a very different kind of holiday this year.  Hopes of being together--just physically being together--are now flattened because of covid.  

Plan B--what will you do now?  How will you make this time feel worthwhile and important, positive and full of thanks?  Maybe it will be the traditional foods that make the holiday feel, smell and taste like you want it to?  Maybe it will be a new tradition to explore?  Maybe it will be a zoom connection with people you might not normally gather with?  However you plan to do it, it has to be meaningful to you. 

This does not have to be the best Thanksgiving of your life.  It doesn't have to be the worst either.  It is the Thanksgiving that just is.  It will be memorable in its own way, I am pretty sure.  

So this brings me to my focus on gratitude as an attitude to cultivate in daily life no matter what is going on around you.  First, make it a goal of yours to focus on what you are grateful for so that you always have more.  Second, set aside time in the day to note what you are grateful for so that you can appreciate and re-appreciate what those things are.  Third, consider writing those things down in a notebook and keeping track of all that you are taking the time to notice.  Fourth, let it be enough.  REPEAT.  

I have been giving this a lot of thought.  I usually have quieter Thanksgivings.  I usually teach yoga at the YMCA in a gym full of happy people.  I usually workout at Orangetheory Fitness afterwards.  I have attended interfaith Thanksgiving services.  This year, it will be quieter than before.  This year, the yoga will be online.  This year, I am not going to any gym or service.  This year, I will be counting my blessings.  

I will tell you about my worst Thanksgiving next week...

Plan to Be OK Now

It's no joke.  Covid fatigue and frustration are here.  So is the surge.  Don't even ask yourself if it could get worse, because we don't want to know the answer to that one.  As I write this, I am thinking of my former home (Chicago) going into lockdown for a month.  So what does that leave us with?  How are we supposed to practice health and wellness lifestyle tips and stay positive with a growth mindset vs. a fixed mindset and keep going with so much chaos?

The answer came to me at my workout yesterday. The coach started the workout by quoting Winston Churchill.  "Success is not final.  Failure is not fatal.  It is the courage to continue that counts."  That courage to continue and be ok with what comes--is where we are right now.  

With Thanksgiving only two weeks away, it is becoming painfully clear how different this will be from other years for most of us.  Yet, that is precisely the problem.  This is Thanksgiving 2020.  Comparing this holiday to years gone by robs us of the joy we might find in the present moment.  

I say yes to planning for things to go well.  I say yes to keeping the traditions that will serve you and keep the holiday meaningful to you.  I say yes to starting a new tradition or planning a new activity.  I say no to overeating and excess.  It just won't help.  

It is always a practice to stay in the present moment.  It is always a challenge to not focus on the past or the future.  They have no power, yet they preoccupy us and trouble us and make us depressed and anxious.  Free yourself to be ok--or even better than ok--but OK about what happens this year with holidays so that you can actually enjoy whatever surprises might come your way.  

Kindness is a Virtue

When times are as tough as they have been lately, I recommend coming back to the very simple lessons we probably learned in kindergarten.  BE KIND.  A variation of this message might include TREAT OTHERS the way YOU'D LIKE TO BE TREATED. 

Being kind to yourself, first and foremost is enormously important.  You live in your own head all of the time.  This is especially problematic nowadays.  When you are stressed--or in the waiting stages of something to happen (When will Covid be over?  When will the election be decided?) you are less likely to practice the virtues of kindness and patience that you need the most.  It's ironic and unhelpful. 

All is not lost.  By being aware of the fact that you are NOT being kind to yourself through negative self talk, criticism, etc., you have the power to shift.  You have the control to move away from those thoughts by dismissing them.  You have the awareness that negativity will not help you, and so you turn that negativity inside out and talk to yourself the way a favorite person from your life would talk to you.

My French teacher, Madame Jeannine Holman, from Paris, was this person for me.  She always managed to make the world ok when  I was being too hard on myself.  She died ten years ago, but I have saved years of her letters.  In her French handwriting, even at the end of her life--in her shaky handwriting, she managed to make the world a better place for me.  So, it is she I often think of when I need that boost.  When I want to be reminded that I am ok--and I will be ok.  Her decency and kindness are an example to me.  Somehow, the world seems more manageable just thinking of her.

It is the simplest of things that cannot be bought that we hang onto right now.  We need the virtue of kindness, turned inward first, and then displayed outward to the world to make it through decently.   

How Much is Enough?

In the world of excess and over the top indulgence and on-demand living, how are you supposed to know when something is enough?  Enough free time?  Enough solitude?  Enough excitement?  Enough comfort?  Enough treats?  Enough veggies?  

There is an answer to this--when you feel satisfied.  That is when you know you have had enough.  In life there is a tension between polarities, i.e. a literal pull from one extreme to the other.  Finding the balance between the extremes is the "sweet spot."  This balance enables you to live fully while also living in harmony with your values.  This doesn't imply boring.  

When it comes to chocolate, for me, a lot is usually enough.  I have been a chocolate lover since I was a little girl.  Remember, I am the one who used to order chocolate fudge nut brownie ice cream from Baskin and Robbins.  My flavor cost more, because it was loaded with more!  However, I have trained myself in my adult years to get satisfied with a whole lot less because too much chocolate means too many calories, too many points and too much regret.  My emotions and mood are OUT of balance at that point.  That doesn't feel satisfying.  It feels punishing.   

In today's world of supersize this and all you can eat that--it pays to get acquainted with a smaller plate, a smaller wine glass, a smaller popcorn bowl.  By doing that you train the eye to see a smaller (or right sized for you) portion filling up that vessel.  This tricks the eye and trains the belly to recognize that sometimes eating less actually gives you more.  More freedom.  More room for something else later.  More control.  More peace of mind.  More balance.  And more?....  well, that's for you to ponder.

Get What You Really Want

There is so much distraction going on in our world today.  Social media (excuse me, even this blog) and political or pandemic news in addition to everyone's opinion about every subject take a toll.  If you find that you are losing more than you are gaining (in the good way) from this overload, it's time to step back and reconsider what you wish to be consuming (literally and figuratively).

To this end, consider what it is about your life that brings you more happiness or contentment--what keeps you curious and interested.  Maybe things like connecting with family and friends or practicing hobbies, playing with pets, etc. are some of what rises to the top of your mind.  Now drill down on this concept a little more.  Think about what you actually control in your day that brings you joy and keeps you going.  Is it a wonderful cup of coffee or tea in the morning as you consider what you are grateful for?  Is it walking in the woods?  Is it reading your favorite author?  Is it a great dinner with loved ones?   

To put it another way, what are the things that you are in charge of (no matter what the weather, the pandemic) that make your day feel worthwhile?  Those are the things that deserve more intention and attention, because those are precisely the things that will help you thrive this season. 

Now, embrace your power.  Your thoughts are your power.  Choose to focus on the positive ones.  

Your actions are your power.  By focusing on positive thoughts, you then engage in positive actions.  

Your wishes that come from your heart are your power.  If your phone went dead, and your computer quit working--you still have the power, because the power comes from your heart.  That itself is something to be grateful for today.  

Wantpower versus Willpower

When it comes to making a change, relying on willpower is not your best bet.  Willpower expires quickly and behaves unreliably.  In contrast, wantpower can work harder and longer to set you up for success.  For example, willpower might get you past ordering dessert in a restaurant if you quickly get up and pay the check and leave.  However, if you sit at the table long enough while your friends order dessert, it will get harder and harder to resist as you watch them eating their sweets.  

To strengthen your wantpower muscles, first think of what the best version of yourself really cares about.  Do you really want to exercise before the day begins?  That sounds like it might be challenging if getting up early isn't your routine, but what if there was a reward for that behavior?  Let's say you get to buy coffee at Starbucks on the way home IF you get up early and work out.  All of a sudden that makes waking up early and exercising seem much more appealing.  It becomes a win/win.

Another way to work your "wantpower" muscles is to make one decision at the beginning of the day, and then carry that decision with you throughout day.  If you decide that you aren't having any treats today, then NO MATTER WHAT, if treats fall into your path, because you decided in advance you are not having them, you don't.  That one decision might save you from countless choices throughout the day--which makes your life feel easier and getting what you really want (more weight loss or self control) more likely.    

Protecting yourself from harm is another way to stay on track.  That means that you set up your environment to be successful.  You get the nutritious food in the house.  You leave the tempting food that challenges your control at the store.  You put your sneakers by the door.  You keep a water bottle with you and drink from it often.  Whatever it is--you stay focused by creating a safe space around you that practically delivers more success. That's the wantpower muscle at work again.  

Investing in your good health whether it is with food, exercise, mindset shifting, sleep or just de-stressing through happiness hobbies is always going to be important.  We do a little bit of the work every day in various ways.  It is not a punishment.  It is a pathway to more freedom in body and mind.  I definitely want more of that.  

Creating Happiness in Pandemic Times

No matter how we have been handling the disruption of our lives given the pandemic, one thing is very clear--if we don't focus on what we really want, then negative thoughts, changing demands, shifting expectations, news, election news, covid news will take over. This is not ok. We cannot have the stressors that come from OUTSIDE ourselves dictate how we will handle things INSIDE ourselves and INSIDE our own personal "silos" -- our homes.  

To add to the pressures that come from all of this extra coping and trying to get through, most of us are spending more time than ever before living inside our own heads.  We are rehearsing, reviewing, rehashing those 70,000 thoughts from yesterday that are looped into today.  The mind is working its wonders constantly, making leaps every eight seconds to the next thought which is on repeat.  This is very tiring.

For safety's sake, we are also spending less time interacting with new people, new places and therefore we are not having novel experiences that make life feel more interesting. This is demoralizing and a little depressing.  It is also not keeping us mentally sharp.  When we have new experiences like going on a trip or interacting with a foreign culture or meeting someone new at a party, we have to rethink how we see the world and ourselves in the world.  That's a good thing.  It's not all about YOU all the time anyway.

For these reasons, I challenge you to make your happiness part of your COV ID COPING STRATEGY.  Find something that makes you happy for ten minutes every day.  If it lasts a lot longer, so be it.  If you say that you love sitting on your porch reading, by all means, read as long as you can.  If you like dancing to music, then get up and shake it.  If you like meditating outside at sunrise, then set the alarm.  

By making your personal happiness a HIGH PRIORITY every single day for at least ten minutes, you are getting a ten minute break from the dystopian covid coaster.  You are improving your healthiness, and you are taking charge of your body, mind and spirit.  Try it, and then let me know what worked the best for you.  You are worth the effort.

Plan to Succeed No Matter What

We are susceptible to environmental cues.  We respond to the stimulus in our environment the way we always have.  Maybe it's candy or chips at the checkout or a tray of cookies coming fresh out of the oven.  Our natural instinct might be to start eating.  We like this stuff, after all.  However, if you are watching your calories, points, sugar and sat fat intake, it's time to rethink this approach.  

The next time you see something in your path that looks tempting, take a moment.  Consider your options.  Do you have to do what you always have done?  Do you have to eat all, or can you have some?  Do you have to remain near the food, or can you simply turn away and distract yourself?  

Special treats and unplanned snacks are not set in your path to make your life difficult.  They are part of life.  So, one of the best things to do when they come along is accept them as a choice that you have the POWER to make.  Cookies and chips don't control you even if they show up in unsuspecting places.  Cheese and crackers don't have feelings.  You can say NO and move on.  Or, you can incorporate them into your day even if you didn't plan for them, by being mindful.  If you eat cookies at lunch, maybe you forgo a potato at dinner.  If you have more than your fair share of crackers, maybe you lighten up with more vegetables later on or tomorrow.  What you don't do is feel guilty.  We are allowed to eat.  

The point is that there is always, always, always something you CAN do to put yourself in the driver's seat of your life.  No matter what shows up, you get to decide.  Being tempted is tough, but those temptations are not going away, and the more we practice our mindfulness skills and exercise our power over difficult situations, the better we feel.  That is success in the making.  Try it this week, with something unexpected that comes along, and see for yourself!  

   

I Think I Can, and so I WILL

Whether you think you can (fill in this blank.... run a 5K, bake a cake from scratch, lose 20 pounds) or not--you are correct.  Thinking that you can do something, having the confidence in your ability to execute your plan is the starting off point.  Then, following through on your plan is the critical next step.  Finally, reflecting on your accomplishment with self satisfaction builds more confidence and proof that you actually can do what you intended--because you did do it, and it worked out just fine.  Whew, that's a lot!

What if, on the other hand, you think you can't do something.  What if you start telling yourself things like "I can't lose weight at this age." or "I can't play pickleball." or "I can't learn a new language or instrument."  If you decide you can't do something, then you just gave up.  Your body eavesdrops on your mind and hears those messages.  Then, you find all kinds of ways to prove yourself correct.  It goes like this:  "Since I can't lose weight now that I am 70 years old, I am going out for DairyQueen whenever I feel like it."  BOOM! Therein lies the problem.  

It's so important to take time to reflect on what is going on between your ears.  Most of us have 70,000 thoughts per day.  Most of the thoughts we entertain today are the same, exact ones we had yesterday.  If you harbor negative thoughts about your body, your abilities, your weight, your competence, then you will continue to recall those negative thoughts and act on them.  None of us want to be wrong.  We want to prove our point of view.  We will self sabotage to do just that.

This week, consider what you CAN do.  Reflect on this seriously and note all the ways (great and small) that you actually DID do what you set out to do.  Then, consider what you'd like to have happen now.  Consider any self sabotaging thoughts you may have had.  Dismiss them.  Those thoughts are not helping you, and they are holding you back.

Your dreams are at the ends of those positive, affirming, confident thoughts.  Chase those dreams down.  Welcome those dreams into your life.  Make room for them. 

Live the life of your dreams all because you thought you could,  and so you did.   

Who Are You?

How you identify yourself is part of your self esteem, your actions and even your happiness.  I think of myself as a do-er. That means that I do things--all kinds of things at work, at home, in my personal life, with my fitness goals and my writing.  It also means that I do not crumble even in the face of adversity.  It is a badge I wear proudly, and it guides my actions which say "keep going"!

There are also certain identifiers that I don't wish to have.  When my daughter, Natalie, had AML (cancer) as an infant, and I was living with her in Children's Hospital of Minnesota, the Social Worker on the Oncology Unit held a "Cancer Moms" group every week.  I told her clearly I do NOT want to be a cancer mom.  That's not who I am.  I told her kindly that I was not ever going to attend that meeting, and I thought it was disrespectful to Natalie.  The crisis of our lives that changed us forever--please, do not name me that way.  I was simply Natalie's mom.  

By identifying with certain titles or roles, we naturally take on the actions of those roles.  The things we are most proud of, we talk about and weave into conversations.  We might even create a day around those things.  For example, if I say I am a gardener, then that means I garden.  I work with the dirt, seeds, plants, flowers, bees, Miracle Grow, trees, vegetables, soil.  That means I want you to know that I am someone who takes this hobby seriously, and when you see me in dirty jeans on a summer Saturday you know it's likely because I've been digging in my garden not because I forgot to do laundry.

What if you would like to be--someday--somehow that person who is a do-er or a gardener or an exerciser or a meditator?  You start by doing what it takes.  You remember that you may have done some of this before.  Have you ever gardened?  Have you ever planted?  Have you been to the garden store and gazed through the options?  Do you want this to be part of your life and your identity?  Then, keep doing those things, and start introducing that title to yourself in your head and to your friends and family.  And then, keep going!  Seal the deal.  Make it real.  Make it about you.  Make it a part of you.  Make it a part of your identity.  Wear the badge!  Feel the pride.  

In these covid times, it is more important than ever to gaze inward and see what's there.  We are not going to get our affirmation from the external world.  The external world is in chaos.  The overdoing of precovid life has been turned upside down.  It is incumbent upon us all to figure out a new way of doing things.  We have the time, the stillness, the opportunity to look at what is in front of us, or what is in us and decide.  

This is part of our coping strategy for getting through this mess--and coming out of it better on the other side.   Take time this week to list all the words that identify who you are--and who you might like to be.  Write them down.  Consider what they mean.  Then, take action on a few of your identifiers.  Notice how it feels.  Does it give you a sense of purpose?  Does it create an agenda?  Does it frame your day?  Tell me about it when you know.  I want to hear.

Spend Your Time on What Gives Your Life Meaning

In some respects, we have more time than we did before Covid.  Less commuting.  Less shopping and going out for meals.  Less socializing.  In other respects, there is too much time on our hands that gets in the way of actually accomplishing something.  The time we do have now feels agitated and empty.  

We all get the same twenty-four hours in a day, but how we choose to spend those hours makes all the difference.  Now that September showed up this week (yikes) it is definitely time to turn the page away from summer (boo) and look to crisper days and the joys of fall.  Yet, it's still Covid.  

What about considering what makes your life feel meaningful and important now.  What are the raw materials in your day that make your day worthwhile?  Is it humor, hobbies, a project, a connection with friends and family, exercise, nature, your pet, prayer or meditation, accomplishment, good meals?  Those "things" are the building blocks of how you can create a day of activities or rituals that make you happier and healthier whether it's Covid or no Covid.  

This takes focus because there is no urgency.  If you don't do it today, well there's always tomorrow.  That is part of the Covid coping problem.  These days are dragging along, and there is not enough definition in them to keep them interesting. "Work expands to fill the amount of time you have to do it in."  I don't know who said that, but it's true.  The day stretches out too long when there isn't enough of the good stuff to make it fun, and that makes us feel bad, sad, bored or hopeless. 

Make a list, and check to see that all that makes your day happy is on there.  Then, make sure you divide your hours in the day to tick those boxes on your list so that you have more joy, more happiness and then more healthiness.  I promise it will be well worth your time.  

Build a Life Raft

Oh boy, just when life seems like it is as challenging as it can be--there's more.  Last night in Minneapolis, there was a horrible and tragic misunderstanding about a suicide after a homicide.  Looting, fires, damage and destruction took place.  Then curfew accompanied by the National Guard.  What should we do to contain this information and make sense of the world? 

I am trying to do just that very thing.  I ran into my yoga student, Alyce, who is a therapist while I was out walking Pippa.  I was so glad to see her in the neighborhood because 1) I don't get to see people as much as I did before covid; 2) I like her; and 3) she has been out of town a lot taking care of her 86 year old dad.  She told me that she developed a "life raft" for coping with covid.  This is a twelve plank raft (for twelve months I think) of activities, projects, intentions that she can focus on and use to help her cope and feel good about life.  This is fabulous advice.  This is the wisdom of setting your positive intention in your mind's eye on what you want more of, so that your attention (your actions and behaviors) can follow suit.  Two of her planks are taking care of a new kitty cat with her dad and doing a knitting project.  I didn't get to hear the other ones.

So, I ask you, in the midst of all this craziness, can you build a "life raft" of intention coupled by attention so that you too can cope with the unforeseen and unfathomable events of quarantine and civil unrest and all that goes with it?

I will be encouraging you, because this is also part of our resiliency training.  This is part of our wellness and wellbeing.  This is a big part of our mental health.

We absolutely must come through this experience better off than when we went into it.

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Tiny Habits Add Up to Big Results

If there were ever a time NOT to get overwhelmed by life, now is it.  The "covid coaster" is taking us all for a ride that we never bought a ticket for.  At times, it can feel like all will be well, and then at other times, it feels like all will be hell.  OUCH.

Instead, consider the tiniest of habits to commit to--and let that tiniest of habits be enough.  Let yourself be enough.  And then be done.  Easier said than done.

Another thing to consider with these tiniest of habits is how successful you will feel more frequently if you actually follow through.  For example, what if you want to start a walking routine after meals.  You are home a lot, and it looks like the weather is still cooperating.  Instead of committing to a twenty minute tour of the neighborhood, what about a five minute walk down the driveway or around the block?  That five minutes will pass so quickly you will be surprised it's time to go inside.  What if that five minutes was enough time to appreciate the weather, the sunshine, the flowers, the kids playing and dogs barking?  What if that turned into a five minute "vacation" from your life and became a five minute walking meditation on how life isn't so bad despite stupid covid?  What if that time for yourself became a reminder that there are things to look forward to?  What if you decided to think ONE good thing about yourself during that five minutes, and that thought could brighten your outlook and warm your heart?

Feeling good about what you are doing is everything right now.  Whether you are solidifying habits or trying your hardest to create new ones, you deserve to feel good about yourself and your life.  It takes focus.  This week, FOCUS ON YOURSELF.  In the smallest of ways find something to latch onto so that your commitment to health, wellness and happiness becomes your lifestyle.

Sleeping Well is a Healthy Goal

Setting goals, no matter how big or small, is critical in feeling like you are actually moving forward with your life.  These goals can be about health, wealth, happiness, family togetherness, personal fitness, volunteer time or even sleep.  When you identify something you'd like more of--put a bead on it--and keep focused on it so that you can inch towards it--achieve it and then reap the rewards of having done what you set out to do. 

To make it even more likely that you will achieve your goal, consider telling someone about it.  Announce to your friends that you are limiting yourself to one glass of wine.  Period.  Then it is more likely to follow through in the moment.  Your friends become "accountability partners." 

In these covid times, I think it is even more important to identify things that matter to you, that are within your control. 

Exercise is Always Good

Taking the short view or the long view, exercise is a major boost to the body and mind.  In the short term, it gives you a break.  A break from sitting too long or thinking too hard.  By getting up and stretching or walking even five minutes, you "shift gears" and then start feeling better mentally and physically.  Think of recess as a kid in grade school.  When that bell rang, you might have been one of the students who ran like the wind outside to play.  All that focusing and concentrating and sitting still was a tough job.  After a while, we are not creative and do not think as clearly as we could if we took intermittent physical breaks.

Exercise is the best prescription for what ails you.  Truly.  No dangerous side effects other than feeling better, more flexibility, more stamina.  Physical therapy works this way.  The "prescription" is literally exercise--in a very specific way--in order to heal. 

During these "safer at home" times of covid, breaking up the tension of the day by a little gardening, a quick dog walk or a full body stretch for two minutes is all it takes to feeling better in your body and mind and then move on to something else with a renewed attitude.

People who exercise (however you define it) have more body confidence and body positivity (look what I can do) than people who don't.  That confidence then affects the decisions you make about life--food--how we want to "show up" in the world.

Some say your body is a temple--meaning respect it--worship IN it--by being mindful of moving more often so that you feel better more often so that you do better more often so that your life matters more often.  That's a good prescription!

How Does Your Food Make You Feel?

When we choose what to eat, most of consider a few things:

1) how hungry am I?
2) what's available?
3) is this convenient and relatively easy to pull together?
4) who else is eating with me?

What might your choices look like if you considered how well the food nourished your body (and mind) and how well the food satisfied your hunger pangs and how well the food worked in your body?  That's a lot to ask of a turkey sandwich and carrot sticks and dip with a fruit salad and a few walnuts, but it might tick a lot of boxes.

So many of us on the health and wellness journey already know what we're "supposed" to be eating.  Healthier fare more often.  Duh.  But, what is it about our human nature that sometimes says I just want an ice cream salted caramel fudge bar?  First of all, we are not robots.  We can't be expected to perform when it comes to food choices.  So many of them are emotional.  What do I feel like eating?  What sounds good to me right now?  What textures or temperatures do I want?   

Because food is primarily fuel to keep the body alive, and because food is partly pleasure--we want yummy things, we are always balancing competing impulses which gets tiresome.  This week--and maybe even longer--what could happen if you considered how well the food you choose will nourish you--and keep your body healthy and happy?  Lower sat fat means lower cholesterol.  Goodbye fries and hello baked potato.  Higher lean proteins means more satisfaction and less hunger.  Goodbye pizza slices and hello chicken on a green salad.  Higher fiber means more fullness and regularity.  Oh poop.  (Sorry I had to.)  Goodbye white wonder bread and hello whole grain as a first ingredient bread.  You get it.  So try it.  See if the healthier choice feels like the obvious choice more often.  Practice and progress--not perfection and falls from grace.  Let this journey feel easier. 

Reduce Stress Through Meditation

Stress is a killer.  It robs you of living in the present moment.  It keeps your digestion from working correctly.  It helps you crave sweets and saturated fats and gain weight around the abdomen.  It can also ruin a good night's sleep because of ruminating over the past and worrying about the future.  The hormones (adrenalin and cortisol) that are released through the adrenal glands when the body perceives stress can suppress your immune system.  Can it get any worse?

Stress has its positive side.  If we never had a deadline, we might not get anything done. The urgency to follow through keeps us motivated.  That's a good thing.  The problem is that when stress takes over your life and keeps you from living in the present.

The antidote to stress is not eliminating it entirely, because that's not possible.  It's in managing it through activities that keep you grounded in the present moment.  Maybe this is through reading or making art or gardening.  These activities have a way of focusing the mind on one thing that is happening right now.  For centuries, meditation with mindful breathing has been practiced for this very reason.  When you are singularly focused on your breath, coming in and going out, you open yourself up to new possibilities because you are not fixated on the past or tormented by the future.  You unclutter the mind which in turn calms the body.

Even if you don't think you can sit still for very long, you can develop a mindful meditative practice.  I know this to be true, because I have been teaching meditation to hundreds of people for six years. You can improve with practice, and it does feel easier over time.  In fact, you can actually prevent the stress response from occurring in the first place if you practice meditation and mindful breathing on a regular basis, i.e. daily.  This is why I started the "three breaths" meditation on instagram during the covid19 pandemic.  It was a simple way to practice three intentional breaths to calm the mind and body during a stressful time in history.

Life is tough.  Don't we all know it.  Some times are tougher than others, and I would call this time in our history challenging at the very least.  For this reason alone, it pays to look at healthy ways to manage stress so that we can maintain a healthy lifestyle.  If something as simple as breathing with intention can do just that, I encourage you to follow me on Instagram and practice along. 

Instagram.com/karenastromsky

...And I Took the Road Less Traveled...

When I was applying to colleges--back when I was sixteen years old...I was asked to submit a piece of writing to Georgetown University.  I chose to write about the Robert Frost poem, The Road Less Traveled.  It resonated with me in my adolescent years, and it speaks to me now.  A few years ago I was taking a writing class, and we were asked to memorize a poem and recite it to the group.  I chose this very poem thirty seven years later.  Maya Angelou would say that is the power of poetry.

How many times do we come to a "fork in the road" and choose the well worn path?  It seems obvious that we should.  It seems like it would make sense and be easier.  Others have stood in the very same spot and chose that path.  And yet, by choosing the other path, we open ourselves up to possibilities that we never imagined possible.  It takes more effort to blaze a new trail.  It requires more of your brain and body.  But then it does more for your brain and body.  It actually fires up the brain and creates new connections, i.e. neural pathways.  The brain has a neuroplasticity just as the physical body has a flexibility. 

This is part of what it takes to be a healthy person in body and mind.  The body and mind work together.  They reinforce each other in an anti-aging, protective way.  This is why my gym boasts that they never offer the same workout twice.  They want the body (and mind) to be surprised.  They want to recruit new muscle fibers and challenge the body to be more efficient.  

No matter where you are in your health and wellness journey, looking at life with fresh eyes, building new habits and thereby weakening old unhelpful habits is a challenge right before our very eyes.  Which path do you choose?  Let the path you choose make all the difference.

Cook Well, Eat Well at Home

This pandemic has been tough in many ways, however one of the benefits is that more people are eating home-cooked meals at their own table.  There are multiple advantages to preparing your own food that include knowing what's in it, how many calories, how much seasoning, what's the portion size you will set out.  This all goes a long way in making sure you are in charge of exactly what you are getting.  This enables us to train our eyes to get satisfied with "right size" servings.  I forgot to mention that eating home cooked meals is cheaper than restaurant eating or take out.  Usually it is three times cheaper. 

I am no party pooper.  I like going out to restaurants just like everyone else.  But at this point in history, it is SAFETY FIRST, so going out has lost a lot of its appeal for me. That means I have to get more creative at home.  I am tired of my own cooking at this point, and I really enjoy cooking.  This is silly.  It's time to spice things up with fresh or dried herbs and spices.  It's time to look through cookbooks for something more interesting besides what I can think of in the moment.  When I see friends' pictures of meals they are making, it makes me realize I better get on it too.

Summer grilling is a fun way to make dinner.  Everything from proteins to vegetables and fruits can go on that grill.  You get to be outside which doesn't feel like cooking.  You get to enjoy the fresh air which doesn't feel like work.  There is less clean up which does feel like a bonus.

This week, mix things up with your food preparation, your spices and herbs or your menu and see if it breathes new life into your health and wellness plan for living a long, healthy, fit and active life while still fitting into your clothes!

Summer Fun Can Be Done

Summer is officially here as far as the calendar says.  It's been warm, hot, humid and breezy lovely for a while already though.  So, it is time to gather your thoughts and picture how you want to have a great season despite the pandemic and the restrictions it imposes.

Being a little sad about the things that are not happening this summer is normal.  Maybe consider taking a moment to reflect on those traditions and all the joy they have brought you?  If the fair, your family reunion, that vacation isn't going to come together as usual--it's time to let go so you can make room for what is going to happen. 

Living in Minnesota, I appreciate summer more than I would otherwise.  Summer is our reward for putting up with winter!  But then we had that fast dive into quarantine and staying home....  it's been a bit of a roller coaster ride with emotions, plans, cancelled plans...  Yet, this is still summer, and when it comes to an end, most people I know are sad.  No one says that at the end of a long Minnesota winter--gee winter flew by, and I didn't get to wear my boots another 100 times.... 

So, what will make your summer memorable?  What will make you feel like your precious life in summer 2020 is still happening?  What will it take for you to feel that you are maximizing the fun?  What can you still do safely that brings you joy?  Biking is one of my favorite summer activities, and C19 or NOT, it works.  That's a thumbs up for "normal."  We decided to go on our family reunion to Ocean City, New Jersey.  It won't be the same.  My mom and several others won't be coming because of C19.  My brother and his family won't be coming from Australia, because they aren't allowed to leave the country for six months.  Disappointing, but this is life for now.

Our world and our expectations have changed, and we have adjusted for three months past, and we will continue to adjust.  As always, focusing on what you can do will bring you more happiness and more control than focusing on what you cannot do.  Just don't let summer slip away without making your mark.  Have fun doing it.  That's what summer is all about anyway.

All Fats Are Not the Same

We probably remember the fat free craze that hit the "diet world" more than twenty years ago.  The idea was that fats in processed foods made you fat, so if you take the fat out, you won't get fat.  The error in this was that when they took the fat out of products like cake, cookies, etc. they replaced it with sugar. And then people ate more because the cookies were "fat free."  Furthermore, not all fats are the same.  Some are healthy for your body and nutritionally sound for your intake.  Others are treats.

Here is the skinny on fat.  Ha!  There are healthy fats which are called UNsaturated fat.  These fats come from plants, seeds, nuts, olive, canola, sunflower, safflower and flaxseed oil and even some seafood.  These are good for you, heart healthy, and a necessary part of a balanced "diet."  On the other hand, SATurated fats are found in red meat (think marbling) and dairy, cookies, cakes, whipped cream on top of coffee sundaes, etc. 

The leading cause of obesity and becoming overweight comes from the overconsumption of SATurated fat and sugar.  (Hence the Snackwells problem.)

The moral of the story is to be mindful of which fats you are consuming--heart healthy UNsaturated fats which are good for you can be consumed regularly.  The hitch is that they are still high in Smartpoints values because they are calorically dense (a tsp of oil is a point).   On the other hand, the SATurated fats need to be considered wisely and planned for.  Eating or drinking them is not about getting in more nutrition really...it's about pleasure, which is part of our consumption too. 

This week, see if you can determine which fats you are eating more often--and which ones might be subbed out for a healthier option.  Why?  So that you can be healthy, stay within your points' target and hopefully lose and/or maintain your weight.  It's ok!  You are worth it.

Plan to Succeed and Repeat

We have too much to think about now with all that is going on in the world.  It's taking up our precious brain space that we could otherwise use for good.  With that in mind, it is all the more important when it comes to getting anything done--especially weight loss and weight maintenance--that you plan your meals and snacks. 

You, like me, want to eat three meals a day--plus snacks.  Most of the days that is the way it works.  Because of this desire and requirement to fuel the body with the right stuff, we have to think in advance when we are fresh, rested and satisfied (NOT HANGRY) about what we want to eat for the week.  That is planning 101.  What dinners would you like to enjoy this week?  That is the building block of the plan for what ingredients to source.  If you need to search recipes on WW app or Skinnytaste or whatever favorite site you have--go ahead.  Others all around the world are in the same boat.  What's for dinner?  What should I buy and make?  What will satisfy for low points?  Take their lead--let them tell you what to buy, how to portion the recipe and how many points.  Brain space saved.

Of course, you have to carry out your plan when the time comes.  Setting a routine for this makes the most sense, because planning all the time can get tedious for those of us mere mortals who aren't all that great at this.  However, the rewards are huge.  Planning means we are expecting to be successful.  It means we have what we need to eat when we are hungry.  It means we don't have to get even more stressed out about what's for dinner because we didn't make a plan long ago.  It can also be thrifty.  We don't have to make last minute take out decisions or frozen pizza choices because we are to stressed to figure it out.

At the very least, what about planning a robust meal for one night that could easily morph into a second dinner?  And, what about always making double proteins when you fire up the grill?  Not one steak but a steak and two chicken breasts OR a pork tenderloin and a swordfish steak? 

Life is work.  Don't we all know it.  However, we can be our best friend or worst enemy when it comes to a little forethought, a little planning, food prepping and storing.  You are worth every ounce of effort, and the rewards will be less stress, potentially more weight loss, staying within your daily target and feeling satisfied, healthy and accomplished.  That's worth working for.

Your Mind May Be Playing Tricks on You

You can't believe everything you think.  Yes, I said that right.  Some of our thoughts are simply ideas floating around in our heads--thousands each day with most of them on repeat from yesterday.  When more stress is going on, the mind weighs in heavily by rehearsing, rethinking and leaping from one idea to another regardless of whether or not these thoughts are based in fact.  This is exhausting.  This can cause us to feel badly.  This can cause us to do badly.  It's a basic process of:

1) think
2) feel
3) do.

Because we have the power to hit the invisible "pause" button when it comes to thoughts (and then feelings and actions), we have the ultimate control.  We can choose not to accept our thoughts.  We can choose to think differently.  We can choose to acknowledge our unhelpful thoughts even though we don't appreciate them.  We can redirect our attention to something else entirely and get off this stupid subject.  At the very least, we have power when it comes to thoughts, feelings and actions.

With so much of the world in turmoil, now is a more important time than ever before to pay attention to what we are thinking so that we can feel and do differently.  It is that simple. 

Ease Brain Strain By Building Habits

At times like these, covid19 quarantine, physical distancing, work and home blur, zoom fatigue and fear, the brain is in overdrive.  This is incredibly taxing.  Not only does this fatigue us in every way, it leaves us with lethargy, apathy, don't-care anyway'athy--and that is so unHEALTHY.  When we use our mental energy on too many decisions with too many consequences, we make life harder than it has to be.

Swooping in--the magic of routines, habits, rewards!  By creating a routine built on habits that come easily, we can stop the mental gymnastics of decision making and begin the ease of riding on what we automatically do--no questions asked.

Consider what you do without thinking every day--from folding your hands a certain way to making coffee as soon as you walk into the kitchen--these habits are often cued.  When I walk into my kitchen first thing, I boil water for my pour over coffee.  I don't think about whether I should do it now or later.  It is the morning.  I am getting up.  I like a good cup of strong black coffee.  Then, I get it.  I like the smell of coffee, the taste, and then I settle in to my cream of wheat breakfast.  I get full for few points by adding a piece of fruit.  DONE.  Three SmartPoints later on Blue, and I am good.  This habit loop reinforces itself every day making it even stronger.  So, when life gets tough, and I am not well rested and can't really think straight (it's moving week around here)--I don't have to think.  I am running on the power of a good habit.

That's an easy one for me.  For you, consider what habit you'd like to create to make your life feel more manageable and automatic.  Is it a meal?  Is it a snack time?  Is it a fitness routine?  Is it a water consumption plan?  Whatever it may be, consider first what will cue you to do the habit.  Then consider what the habit you actually want to attach to the cue is.  Then appreciate what the reward for the habit is.  The cue and the the reward are the GLUE that make the habit stick.  Thus, saving valuable mental energy for something else, like practicing your hobbies or learning French history (that's mine) or doing a puzzle with no picture (not mine ever).

You have nothing to lose but a waste of precious mental energy, so try it and make your life more predictable, more rewarding and oh so much easier. 

Are You Thirsty

I am talking about one of the most basic things that we may take for granted--water!  Of course, drinking it is crucial to good health.  Hydrating the body with what it really wants--is a daily habit that we can all get behind.  And, if by chance, you don't like the plain stuff straight from the tap, you can flavor with lemons, skinned cucumbers, citrus, spearmint leaves and call it spa water.  You can drink seltzer water or crystal lite water.  The important part of this is to drink a lot.  How much is a lot?  It depends on you, your activity level, your medication, your thirst.  If you are thirsty, you need more hydration.

We are made of 70% water.  We flock to bodies of water for their calming properties.  Some take long baths in big tubs of bubbly water to get a restored, cleansed feeling in their body and their mind.  In qi gong practice (also called PLAY) we move as if we were in water.  It feels easy, flowy and connected to nature. 

Since the covid quarantine, I noticed that I am not drinking as much water as I did before.  Not just a few things have changed.  My activity level is different.  I am not doing my HIIT workouts at Orangetheory Fitness.  On the days I go running around the lake, I notice I am thirstier, and I naturally drink more.  Listening to what your body tells you is basic, but how often do we forget the basics?

This week, notice if you are feeling refreshed, clear headed and hydrated.  If not, maybe a simple glass of water in a fun glass is all you need.  With summer quickly approaching, this is a great habit to sip on!

Sleep--It's Good For You

Do you get enough sleep to function at your best most of the time?  That means seven to nine hours per night!  Long gone are the days of bragging about how little sleep you can get by on.  Nowadays, it is all about setting yourself up for a good night's sleep as part of your regular healthy routine.

Good sleeping is tied to good feelings, good actions and good hormones.  This is precisely why it is linked to good weight loss.  When you sleep well at night, your body releases a hormone called leptin that actually helps you get satisfied with healthy foods.  YEAH!!  On the other hand, when you don't sleep well or enough hours, your body gets the hormone called ghrelin circulating through the system.  That helps you crave junky foods.  BOO!!  When you wake feeling bad yet still have to perform for the day, it is less likely that you will work hard to track, cut up vegetables, prepare healthy snacks, plan dinner in advance, etc. 

Set yourself up for success long before it's time to shut your eyes for the night.  Break up stress throughout the day with mini fit breaks, meditation breaks, do nothing breaks.  Give yourself a schedule for the evening so that no pulsating blue light can emanate from your screens and keep you wakeful.  Ideally, this is two hours before you want to sleep.  Dial down the commotion, decision making, activity, lights in the house so that the late evening is more peaceful, thereby giving your body the idea that sleep is coming.  Some people like a bath or shower at the end of the day.  This too signals to your body--get ready for peaceful sleep. 

These are all ideas you may have considered before.  Have you tried them?  Now is an optimal time to discover just how much sleep you function best with.  Is it closer to seven or nine hours per night?  Now is the time to realize what kinds of decisions do you make when you wake up rested?  Is the world brighter?  Is the workout more likely?  Are the choices healthier?  Are the cravings lessened?  And mostly what about how it might link with healthy eating habits?  Let's get to the bottom of that too.

 It's time to play detective with your sleep so that you discover what really brings you more good health when you are awake!

Need to Feel Better Soon? Now?

If there was ever a time where we all needed a real break, it is very soon, if not right here right now.  The pandemic stress is weighing heavily on us all, no matter how you look at it.  Even if you are thriving, making more money, feeling needed in a good way, loving your family and enjoying home cooked meals one after another--all you need to do is step outside your door and observe people walking around in masks, distancing from friends, behaving suspiciously in the grocery store to realize--OH NO, this is not normal, yet it is here to stay for quite a while.

This kind of overarching stressor takes its toll.  Therefore now, more than ever, it's time to look at what we have at our immediate disposal that is convenient, safe and always available to BUST a BAD MOOD.  Exercise, my dear ones, in little spurts or big--is a fast way to get into a better mood.  It increases the feel good chemicals in the brain that say all is well.  Boy oh boy, we need more of that. 

So, this is not a post about doing a puzzle or listening to jazzy music (unless it includes jazzy dancing).  This is about moving that bod of yours enough to feel better.  Get the lead out is something I have been known to say.  When you do this, you feel lighter in more ways than one.  LEAD... lightER.....  GET IT?

Why bother?  Why?  Because you, me, we cannot stay stuck until a C19 vaccine is discovered.  We cannot let a bad mood consume our bodies or our minds.  You, me, we have to rise again, with the sun, day in and day out and face whatever it is that is coming even when you feel like saying NO WAY.  Oh, wait, today is just like yesterday?  This is getting old, you say?  I've noticed too.   And, yet, we still soldier on, in this war without guns building our resiliency skills.  It's not pretty.  It doesn't have to be. 

Now that the weather is mostly good in Minnesota, I am jumping on my bike for a five or ten minute ride around the 'hood just to get outside and feel better.  I walk Pippa a lot.  I film yoga and qi gong outside for my YouTube channel.  I run around Lake Harriet too.  But for that immediate--get me out of this C19 world, the quickie bike ride does the trick.  I am a kid again.  Seratonin is UP.  Dopamine is UP.  Free drugs are UP.  Legal drugs I mean!

Check in with yourself regularly and pause long enough to realize how you are in the moment.  Respect that observation without judgment.  When you start realizing you are not ok, accept it and move it. That's it.  Five minutes.  See what it might do to build you up to feel better not only soon, but now.

Slow Down and Assess Your Stress

There are so many ways to manage stress that are healthy and positive, yet the hard part is that when we are under stress, we are less likely to access the very things that might help the most.

I recommend that you slow down and really pay attention to how you are FEELING in the moment.  If your mind says "I am so stressed out" then what are you actually feeling in your body?  Is your heart racing?  Is your skin feeling hot?  Are you agitated and don't know where to put yourself other than in the kitchen?  These are signs that something is going on that might be worth paying attention to.

After all, stress is a feeling.  And, because it is a feeling, that means it comes and goes, ebbs and flows.  Sometimes you feel it more so than others.  With the global pandemic among us (a major stressor for the world) I have noticed that sometimes I feel overwhelmed with it all, but far more often, I am frustrated and can redirect my mind's eye to something that makes me feel better.

Giving yourself a moment--three deep breaths, a five minute walk outside, a quick windex in the bathroom mirror can be a way to SLOW down the stress and assess the situation.  Is this a major moment--I need a drive away from this house, all by myself kind of feeling?  Or, is this just a moment that I can get past with a walk, a drink of water, a distraction, a load of laundry, a knitting project or a puzzle?

You know me.  I do not suggest pretending it isn't real.  That's more stressful.  I am also not suggesting that you think about other people who are worse off than you and then hope that makes your plight bearable.  I am suggesting that you take note of how you are feeling, and you press the pause button and redirect your body and mind and spirit elsewhere--away from food or drinks.  THEN, you can come revisit your food or drinks after that break. 

Food will solve a hunger problem.  Comfort food will help you feel better in the moment--but we need way more comfort in covid19 times than we have calories for.  So, consider pressing the pause button when emotions, boredom, stress, quarantine fatigue set in and do something that will not only help you feel better in the moment, there will be no negative side effects afterwards. 

Read?  Set?

Press Pause.

Refresh, Renew, Refocus

Wanting isn't getting.  Wishing doesn't make it so.  Doing is what gets things done.  Truth.  No matter how much we want weight loss and good health, that doesn't mean we will always make healthy choices or pick apples over caramel apple pie.  (I made that up--I don't even think that is a thing.)  When it comes to cultivating a healthy lifestyle, it is not the grand gestures taken once in a while that make the difference, it is the small things that are done consistently over time that reap big rewards.  

However, knowing what we're supposed to do doesn't mean we DO that very thing.  We get lazy sometimes, and we don't feel like doing what's good for us.  Truth.  That's ok.  That's normal.  That's to be expected.  What's decidedly not ok is parking there, neither your mindset nor your bod. 

So, if you are finding yourself in a position where you want weight loss, weight maintenance or more energy from your food (as fuel) and your exercise, your steps, your activity, then you have to do the time.  In lots of little ways, throughout the day.

Good news.  You are not starting over from scratch.  You are starting over from experience.  You have the experience of things going well before--and it's time to put back into place, front and center, some of those things to get yourself refreshed, renewed and refocused.

I filled my fruit bowl.  I started drinking Rooibos tea after dinner when I really want to eat a jumbo chocolate bar.  I work hard every day to shift my mindset from "oh hell no this can't still be going on..." to the positive "this is part of my life, and it matters too."  It is just as precious as all the other parts.  That is enough in itself to refresh, renew and refocus.  So, onward team, we go together.

Who's in Charge of What

In tender times like these, it is easy to become overwhelmed with news, looking around at your four walls all the time, a desire to be productive, a wish to get back to pre C19 times and not have to make dinner every single night.  The list goes on, and so does the unease that comes with it.  Living with uncertainty for prolonged periods of time is stressful and damaging to your health. 

How can we stop this?  Recognizing that there are some things in your control--and some things out of your control--and there are some things you have influence over.  You are not in control of whether you get C19 or not, but you do influence whether it happens.  You are not in control of when this lockdown is over, but you do influence how you handle it.  You are not in control over people who do not wear masks or maintain six feet distance in public, but you are in control of whether you do. 

You are also in control of what you choose to think which determines how you feel and then what you do.  Whew--something good in all of this.

It's time to be kinder, more patient and more understanding.  Our human desire to be in charge is now butting up against the great invisible germ that has brought the world to a standstill.  It's a humbling message.  No one could ever have imagined our lives would come to this for the time being, yet here we are. 

Since giving up is not an option, it is our responsibility to keep going in the face of doubt, frustration and wonder.  When we return to what we can control and what we are in charge of, we feel better about our day and ourselves.  That is always good for your health.

Checking in on Self Compassion

These are tough times, don't we know only too well.  This is no time, however, to be tough on yourself.  That just adds aggravation to an already difficult situation.  Instead, let's wrap a layer of self compassion around your mind, your body, your heart.

Self compassion means that you are as nice to yourself as you are to your best friend.  Your thoughts matter.  They are running in and out of your mind all day long.  If you are playing negative or critical tapes in your head about why you don't measure up--delete those tapes.  They are not helpful.  If you are not eating right, sleeping well, moving your body or drinking your water, your body would like you to show a little more respect.  It needs more goodness now that staying healthy is our numero uno "war" effort.  Being kind in your heart means that you are feeling the emotions that bubble up...depression, anxiety, fear, helplessness, boredom--but you do NOT live there.  You acknowledge those feelings, because they are so real and so legitimate, but you are kind enough to yourself to say that you need even MORE self compassion under the circumstances. 

Some of our usual go to's to cope are not available right now--or they are available in a "virtual" world.  Well, that's the truth, and we can't get out of it for now.  Focusing on that is not helpful or compassionate, so let's move to the all powerful:  WHAT CAN I DO?  For now, for this moment, for this time, what is it that will help me think more clearly, feel better in my body and then feel more fulfillment in my heart? 

Baby steps, littlest of gestures, a smile, a thank you, a grateful heart for what you have might be all it takes to bring that sweet kindness and compassion back in.  We all need it now more than ever. 

Take Charge of What You Can

Stress stinks because it makes us uncomfortable.  Something invisible making us uncomfortable--sound familiar?  Stress activates our lack of control over our circumstances.  And, if there was ever a time to feel like circumstances are out of our control--now is the time.

Instead of focusing on what's out of our control--germs, weather, society shutting down, we benefit from focusing on what we can control.  Thoughts, schedule, sleep hygiene, meal planning, exercise routine are a few important ones. 

By focusing on what we can do, we activate our growth mindset and automatically shift to the positive.  That is stress relieving in itself.  When the mindset goes dark, focusing on what we can appreciate--the gratitude mindset actually changes the cells in your brain besides elevating your mood.  It takes practice.  It doesn't mean we won't feel badly, it just means that we can do something about it.  That's power. 

No one knows how long this stretch of C19 isolation is going to last.  That in itself can kick up stress.  But, we don't have to know.  No matter what, we will get to the end of this--at some point--a date uncertain.  So, we can say--I have now.  I have this moment.  I have what's around me.  I have nature to turn to and lift my mood.  I have springtime coming.  I have my health which is my biggest contribution to this "war without guns" effort. 

In tough times, it is one baby step at a time.  It works.  It reduces stress.  It makes things feel manageable, and that's exactly what we need now. 

Schedule What Matters

In times of uncertainty knowing what we can count on becomes even more important than ever before.  Creating a schedule for what matters is all it takes to establish more routine, more predictability, more expectation and more success.

We can work backwards.  What would you like to say that you accomplished at the end of the day?  Some of my must haves are exercise, tracking food, meditating, eating quality meals, drinking water, organizing in my house, finding a calmer mindset, practicing a gratitude attitude. 

I can say that if the whole day goes by and I haven't done these basic things, I will not be happy about how I spent (wasted) my time.  I also don't have to have every moment be significant.  Yes, it is possible to let loose and just "waste time" watching a silly tv show.  Letting off some steam is enormously stress relieving t in uncertainty. 

Today I asked some members what it is that they are happy about.  I heard about time with family, creating a pretend commute to get outside before working, connecting with friends online, having a kitty cat to cuddle....  These things are basic, cost nothing but have the power to mean everything.

This week, create your TO DO list with the positive intention of taking good care of your whole self, i.e. your mind, your body, your heart.  Prioritize what matters most to you, and make sure that gets done so that when you go to bed, you know you showed up for yourself and what matters the most to you. 

UPside Down

Since my last post, the world seems to have turned upside down.  Not knowing what the new world order is and not being able to congregate in real shared spaces to make sense of things is creating an abundance of anxiety and stress.  How could it not.

When the world turns upside down, it is our job, yours and mine, not to resist but to find a way to flow and go with it.  That doesn't mean we have to like it.  It just means that we surrender to the moment, because the moment cannot be anything other than what it is.  Furthermore, this moment is our lives.  Precious still.  One day, this will be our shared memory. 

Instead of battling in your mind, your body, your sleep, your frustration, I suggest you seek out more happiness, more stress relieving activities and more joy in simple rituals or routines.  I suggest you acknowledge your feelings of frustration or anxiety.  That's real, but know that everyone else who is taking c19 seriously is in the very same boat.  None of us knows how to behave as we shelter in place or self isolate or keep our germs at our house. 

Here is a list of many repeated suggestions:

Set a schedule.  Meditate.  Read books.  Play the piano.  Clean out clutter.  Organize closets.  Reject the temptation to ingest every piece of information from every media outlet.  Don't give in to boredom or stress eating.  Drink a lot of water.  Schedule snacks.  Get outside even in the rain.  ...  Pray that this too shall pass.  And it will. 

I have been posting on Instagram a 19 days of covid calm mini 3 breath meditation and some thoughts.  Follow me there:  Karen Astromsky

I have gotten requests to get my yoga/qi gong you tube subscription up and running--and stay tuned--it's coming....  a gift from the times.

Be Kind--To Yourself First

Nobody is perfect.  Not even you on your best day.  We are all human, and we are all capable of falling down from time to time--even when it comes to things we really want.  Consider weight loss or exercise, for example.  We want it to happen, but that isn't always enough to make it happen, and it certainly isn't enough to keep it up over time.  Life gets in the way.  Sometimes our own self defeating thoughts get in the way.

Having an all or nothing standard of perfection is one of the biggest road blocks that actually keeps us from getting what we want.   When we set ourselves up for something that no human being could achieve, and we stick to that goal despite temporary setbacks or new information along the way, we make life more difficult than it needs to be.  We deny our own humanness and create our own disappointment. 

Life doesn't need to be like this.  We can challenge that black and white thinking and notice that we don't expect others to behave like robots--perfection or nothing.  We can identify where those impossible standards might have come from and dismiss them.  We can check in on a regular basis with the voice in our heads that sends us unhelpful messages.  We can consider what we would say to a friend?  We can simply choose to begin again.  DO OVER, and let go of the past.

This is a critical skill--practicing self compassion, which simply means that you are kind to yourself in thoughts, words, actions.  You value yourself enough to work on this.  This is not to say that you let yourself off the hook.  Oh--tomorrow is another day--I'll get on track later.  That's not self compassion.  That's wishful thinking.  Self compassion is present moment awareness that kindness starts now.  You accept the fact that you aren't perfect, and you accept that others aren't either.  By doing this, you have broken down those imaginary road blocks that you don't need to get over or through.  You can navigate more easily, with the flow of things.  You can recover and reevaluate your progress with kinder eyes.  You can refrain from judging yourself harshly by an impossible standard.  You can increase your self esteem.  And then, you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep going.

Consistency --A Treasured Thing

I used to watch the Today Show many years ago.  This was back in the day when Jane Pauley and Bryant Gumble were the anchors.  I also remember the episode when Jane was leaving the show, and I recall Bryant leaning over to hold her hand, and he said "consistency--a treasured thing."  It is true in relationships--personal and professional.  We know what to expect, and we can rely on that expectation to set the tone.  It is comfortable.

The same is true when it comes to cultivating a healthy lifestyle.  Consistency pays off because we know what we are supposed to be doing, and we know the benefits that will come from it.  Consider regular meal times.  If you eat at regular intervals (every three to four hours) you know that you have something to look forward to.  You know if you can hang on a little bit longer because dinner is almost here.  Alternatively, if you have just eaten, you know that you probably aren't physically hungry and shouldn't be trolling the cabinets.  You might be emotionally hungry or boredom hungry or maybe your meal was insufficient. 

When it comes to habits like exercise or meditation or taking a brain break from your desk, consistency is just as important.  It provides the framework to schedule the day.  It gives you breathing space to let off steam and regroup at regular intervals.  This reduces pressure and increases productivity. 

Another great benefit of practicing consistency is that your goals are more likely to be achieved.  You stick to your plan.  You don't deviate because you let yourself get talked out of going to the gym after work.  Instead, you go to the gym and plan happy hour on a different day.  This serves you well because your consistency at the gym has big benefits.  Feeling better physically.  Feeling accomplished.  Sleeping better.

This week, practice being consistent with your eating, your exercise, your meditation, your gratitude attitude, your dog walking. 

Consistency--a treasured thing--and so are you.

Reinforcing Your Good Habits

If you want to make healthy habits stick, science shows that reinforcing your habits by pairing something you like with something you are learning to like makes it far more likely to keep happening.  Think of going to a fun exercise class because you go with a friend.  It's a double win because you not only get the exercise (accomplishment)--but you also get the social time (accomplishment).  The healthy habit becomes reinforced over time because it feels so good to be doing what you wanted in the first place.  Remember when you had recess in school?  It was fun for a few reasons: 1) you get a break from schoolwork; 2) you get to be outside; 3) you get to be with your friends and blow off steam.  Now, picture going to recess by yourself.  You get the break, and you get to be outdoors, but you are alone.  That wouldn't be nearly as worthwhile.

Whether you are trying to be more active or eat balanced meals, this week consider what it takes to really make it feel funner, less chore-like, more spirited.  Maybe you join a fitness challenge or a sign up to walk/run a 5K?  Maybe you watch your favorite tv show while you walk the treadmill?  Maybe you play great music while you chop and look at recipes or clean the house or do the laundry?  Whatever it may be, take the drudgery out of your good healthy habits and insert fun and reward and see what it does for making your lifestyle feel even better. 

The Little Things

Sometimes we don't give ourselves credit for the little things we do on a regular basis.  Instead, we focus on the big, glorious achievements, but those don't come along all that often.  The daily tasks of eating well, packing snacks, filling up on more fruits and veggies, going to the gym AGAIN, getting your steps in AGAIN, filling your water bottle AGAIN may not feel like a big win at the time, but adding these routines up over time, they become healthy habits and a healthy lifestyle.  That is a glorious major achievement.  And, if you happen to be someone who always packs snacks and drinks lots of water, maybe you forgot that this wasn't always your normal behavior.  You had to learn to do these things, remind yourself until they became the habits you may presently take for granted. 

Good health is created one meal at a time, one moment at a time, one workout at a time, one good night's sleep at a time, one mindset shift at a time.  Good healthy habits become the foundation you build your day on, and they reward you.  You feel physically better.  You feel mentally clearer.  You feel more positive self esteem because you are actually doing what you set out to do.  This is a momentous occasion, and you benefit from giving yourself credit for your efforts.  By focusing on what you are doing well and acknowledging how it makes you feel, knowing that you are succeeding can keep you inspired to keep going. 

This life is not for the faint of heart.  Pause every so often and give yourself credit for showing up for yourself, your dreams, your health.  Re-experience those good feelings that come from recognizing the life you enjoy is the one you choose, day in and day out. 

One Good Thing For You

I often hear members tell me that they are overwhelmed with life, their job, their family, finances, etc.  At times like that, it can be extremely challenging to simply get through the day, let alone improve your life, your weight loss, your healthy habits, your gym attendance, etc.  At times like that, all the power of your desire is beaten down by life forces beyond your control.  Instead of giving up entirely, managing expectations is the next best thing.  It is the difference between feeling good about one small thing so that you can get through.  That one small thing can be taking the stairs once or drinking more water or asking for an apple with your sandwich instead of chips.  But that one small effort in the midst of a storm means you are still, no matter what, keeping yourself accountable to yourself.  Sometimes that can feel like the biggest victory of all.

On the other hand, when times are not so busy or stressful, you can do all those other things like set manageable goals that are relevant and doable and and specific and timely and worth your effort.  You can find accountability buddies.  You can grocery shop on a full stomach and meal prep and freeze for the future.  You can go to exercise class and socialize afterwards and feel superhuman.  You can meditate and clear out clutter and be proud that you only possess items that bring you joy.  Yes, all that is possible.  Just not every day and not necessarily every week.  

Life is a journey worth living, full of twists and turns and temporary pit stops that no one had in mind.  Yours, mine and everyone else's.  That's normal.  Cultivating the courage of spirit to simply put one foot forward just because you deserve, at the very least ONE GOOD THING FOR YOU is heroic.  

With Valentine's Day coming up tomorrow, take a moment to consider the courageous moves you have made for yourself that have meant everything to you, in your heart.  Let there be one good thing for you that you recall and relive.  Let that fulfillment be your one good thing for you.  

Establish a Healthy Pattern of Eating

Everyone wants to be healthy--the number one new year's resolution is to be healthy.  For many, being healthy means weight loss, weight maintenance over time and being physically active and engaged in life.  That's a tall order for anyone because life is full of unexpected twists and turns.  That's where having a positive mindset--knowing that a healthy pattern of eating, exercising and being engaged over time is the goal.  Perfection is never the goal because that is a standard that most likely cannot become a pattern--and it gives undue attention to all or nothing thinking which is the opposite of a healthy pattern of thinking.

The World Health Organization and the USDA recommend that we all eat foods that are lower in calorie and higher in volume and nutrients for weight loss and weight maintenance.  For WW members, that means the zero point foods which include the following food groups depending which color you are following: fruits and veggies; lean proteins and protein substitutes like beans, lentils, tofu, eggs and even whole grains like oatmeal, quinoa, whole wheat pasta, air popped popcorn (yes, popcorn is actually a grain).  These foods have low likelihood of overeating because of their filling factors.  However, zero point foods are not zero calorie foods, and they are not all you can eat foods.  All you can eat mentality establishes an UNhealthy pattern of eating. 

The challenge for many of us is to keep these foods in rotation in an interesting and novel way.  We get stuck in our recipes or go to easy options because they are so convenient, and we already know the points values, but that leads to boredom in our belly and in our taste buds.  Because there are so many recipes online, on you tube and on connect, it is well worth your time to discover something delicious that satisfies and doesn't break the points bank. 

A few facts to remember: 1) We are not looking for a zero point day.  We need the nutrients and variety of pointed foods too.  2) If you are following the program by the guidelines and not getting results, check to see if you are overeating zero point foods.  It's possible.  While you don't have to track, measure or count zero point foods, your WW app will tell you what a "right size" serving is, and that may be a clue.  3) Food is meant to nourish and provide energy and keep us from feeling hungry.  It is not meant to solve emotional problems, cope with boredom or procrastination.  OUCH.

Try something new this week.  A recipe, an ingredient, a new method of preparation (baked fruit is my favorite zero point go to).  See what spicing up your menus might do for your outlook.  They go together.  If your body is satisfied, your mind says "ahhh...yes, this healthier pattern of eating is worthwhile." 

Power of Positive Thinking and Positive Mindset Shifting

When my girls were little, their father would say to them when they were fighting "Who's got the power?"  Typically, it was my younger daughter, Natalie, who was upset about something with her older sister, Lilia.  Eventually, Natalie realized that she didn't have to let her sister upset her.  Natalie realized that if she just looked at the situation differently, she would see that she had the power all along.

I am now thinking about "who's got the power" in a different context.  For starters, it is not the past.  The past decidedly does not have the power because it is over. You cannot go back and redo it.  If there are lessons to learn from it or wisdom to glean from it--even that process happens in the PRESENT.  The present moment has got the power always.  In the same vein, the future decidedly does not have the power either, because it hasn't happened yet, and it may never come.  Truth.  That brings us back to the gift of the present moment.

It is in the present moment where we can create mindset shifts.  This is also where we can purposely choose our thoughts, e.g. no languishing over mistakes from yesteryear and no borrowing troubles from a future that may never come.  This is a freeing space to be in.  It means you can focus on one thing at a time.  That is a stress reliever in itself.

Focusing on positive thoughts that you can choose, which eventually become positive feelings, which eventually give way to positive actions is at the heart of this incredibly helpful tool for creating healthier habits. 

Allowing that voice in your head to speak kindly and compassionately to yourself is also key.  The positive self talk shifts the mindset from negative self criticism to helpful thoughts that enable you to feel better and do better.

The gratitude attitude works too.  Choosing to find three good things a day to discover, to name, to recognize and appreciate trains your brain to look for more positive things.  This is also a shift.

Finally, remembering your reasons why you care so much.  This is critical in doing the work of self improvement.  If you want a clean house because having a clean house makes you feel calmer and more content, then you are willing to do the work to clean it (or hire someone).  You want the results that cleaning brings to you, so you put your time in, and while you are swiffering around, you don't focus on hating the task of cleaning, you focus on accomplishing the job and benefiting from the rewards.  This too shifts the mindset.

It is a lifelong practice to shift the mindset to that which is positive and helpful.  However, this mindset work is creates a healthier pattern of eating, exercising and living.  That's a life worth living for and working for. 

A Reflection of How You Are Now

What would life be like without mirrors to reflect how we look for the moment?  Spinach in your teeth?  Get it out before you go back to the party.  Wake up with bed head, get in the shower and wash that mop as you start your day.  What about the all dressed up and ready to go out reflection?  Yes, you DO look good.  That's information worth having.

Without a reflection of how we look at any given moment, or what we present to ourselves and the greater world, we might not know valuable information that just might serve you.  Consider driving your vehicle with no rear view mirror.  You have no clue what is behind you, so you act on blind faith that you won't run into something when you back up.  Not safe and not cool.  No, I do want to see what's in that mirror too.

Now let's consider your food tracking.  That too is a reflection of where you are.  It is not a judge or a jury.  It will not talk back to you if you have hot fudge sauce on it.  Your tracker, whether online, on paper or in a fancy journal is merely a reflection of a moment in time, a meal or a snack, that can give you valuable information. 

If you pretrack, you can just follow your plan for dinner when the time comes.  You don't worry about what you'll make; you don't think; you just make what you planned.  That's instructive, helpful and stress reducing.  If you track after the fact, you may sometimes discover, albeit the hard way, that those hamburgers at Five Guys are a ton of points, and those fries are just too much.  This too is valuable information, because the next time a Five Guys opportunity comes up, you might be freer to say "no thank you" and really mean it.

There is no judge or jury in your reflection.  There is just a reflection of a moment in time.  If you observe that you like what you see, keep doing what you are doing.  On the other hand, if you observe you do not like what you are tracking, it's time to make a change.  No self criticism and no going backwards.  In the same way you can't uneat your spinach lasagna and not get spinach caught between your teeth, you can't fix the past.  You can only move on from now.  Now is where the power is. 

A healthy lifestyle is practicing good eating, good sleeping, good water drinking, good exercising, good meditating, good hobby making and good tracking MOSTLY RIGHT MOST OF THE TIME.
That looks good on everyone.