I was looking at a pile of old magazines at a friend's house, and they had headlines that said things like "RESET NOW" and "VULNERABILITY IS STRENGTH" and "MOVING FORWARD WITH KINDNESS," etc. etc. Lots of commands from the universe to do more than what I am presently doing. When I looked at all the titles, it started making me feel that just being myself might not be enough.
This gave me pause, and it made me realize that there is a lot of information and a lot of voices preaching about self-help. Some of this makes sense. Personally, I do think we need more encouragement to achieve our goals. I do think the busyness of daily life gets in our way. As kids, we knew that we were a first grader for a year. We would be learning to read and do some simple writing with some math and other subjects. When the school year came to an end, we would take a much needed summer break and then move on to second grade. We would get that figured out too with parents, teachers and aids to help us. As adults, however, it is all running together. Maybe you have been at the same job for the last decade. Is one year remarkably different from another? Are the milestones or benchmarks of achievement so distinct? I don't know? Do you have a way of knowing if you are on the right track? Maybe a performance review or a bonus gives you the feedback you need. Maybe you just go along and don't even know where you stand. That not knowing is not comforting.
For these reasons, we enlist the help of the experts. Let them do the work for us. Trainers at the gym know what they are talking about. I know this first hand. As a yoga instructor and chi flow guide, I have been through a lot of training on how to lead classes, handle emergencies and motivate participants. Doctors and other health care professionals are supposed to know their content too. We rely on them to tell us what we need to know. If it's the right professional, then we trust their advice, and if we are "compliant," we follow their advice. This usually helps us. When I had a flying squirrel in my house, I called the Wildlife Management folks. They knew exactly what to do. I let them do it.
When it comes to our heart's desire, we benefit from trusting our own instincts. We can rely on the most expert person of all--ourselves. We know how we really feel about things. We know what we would really like to have happen. We know how good it feels when our lives are "flowing" in the direction we'd like them to go. We listen to the voice inside our heads all day and night long. We believe it to be true. Perception is reality, so if this is the voice of reason, we can trust it and behave accordingly. If it is the voice of crazy thinking, then our behavior that follows won't feel good, look good or be good for us. It will tell us what we need to know.
I encourage you to listen to yourself. Take some time to slow down long enough to let the possibilities come to you. Are you are the right track? Are you spending your time where your values lie? Are your emotional needs being met by the people closest to you? Are you putting yourself first often enough? Are you de-stressing on a regular basis so you can enjoy your precious life?
We don't always need to be striving. We can relax too and take stock. At the very least, let's be open to flowing, which is the sense that you are moving in the direction you'd like with little resistance and more natural energy simply guiding you along. Before you realize it, you will have arrived where you intended to be. This time, you will be fully aware of it.
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
Wednesday, February 22, 2017
Clear the Clutter
Picture walking into your house at the end of a long day and finding everything in its place. Take in the calm scene that welcomes you home. No breakfast dishes or coffee cups parked in the sink, no unmade bed, no laundry piling up, no bills or mail taking over the kitchen counter. Now, what is the feeling that you get from the visual calm?
The fact of the matter is many of us need more order in our lives. The visual clutter, the physical clutter, the work that it suggests actually produce stress. Not finding shoes or not having a clean space to work in the kitchen makes us feel scattered and frustrated. Negative feelings do not create good habits. Couple those negative feelings with overwhelming feelings of dread that there is too much to do, and we end up doing nothing. We give up before we even start.
This is not to suggest that we can't have things around that make us feel grounded. Photos or momentos of favorite vacations are anchors to the people and things that make us happy. We want those reminders. What I am talking about is the stuff of life that takes up physical space in your house, in your car, in your work space that makes it harder to live your life.
Instead of being overwhelmed that there is no good place to start, we can just spend ten minutes clearing out something. This can be a drawer, the glove compartment of the car, the bottom of a closet. By starting small, we won't dread the job. It is not too big. We aren't tackling twenty years of accumulation in the basement in one afternoon. What we are doing is lightening the load. The good feelings that come from making an effort and seeing some results will give us a feeling of accomplishment. That feeling makes us feel like we can do more good things.
Self improvement, healthy lifestyle, less cluttered living--it's a work in progress. There will be no perfection here because life itself is messy. Good news--we are looking for progress. Feeling like you are on the road to self improvement is so much better than feeling like you are stuck in the on-ramp and don't know what to do or where to go. You do know. Set a timer for ten minutes and lighten your load so that you can de-stress. Lighten your load so that you have more room in your mind to take care of yourself. Lighten your load so you have perspective on what really matters. Lighten your load so you feel you are in control of your life.
The fact of the matter is many of us need more order in our lives. The visual clutter, the physical clutter, the work that it suggests actually produce stress. Not finding shoes or not having a clean space to work in the kitchen makes us feel scattered and frustrated. Negative feelings do not create good habits. Couple those negative feelings with overwhelming feelings of dread that there is too much to do, and we end up doing nothing. We give up before we even start.
This is not to suggest that we can't have things around that make us feel grounded. Photos or momentos of favorite vacations are anchors to the people and things that make us happy. We want those reminders. What I am talking about is the stuff of life that takes up physical space in your house, in your car, in your work space that makes it harder to live your life.
Instead of being overwhelmed that there is no good place to start, we can just spend ten minutes clearing out something. This can be a drawer, the glove compartment of the car, the bottom of a closet. By starting small, we won't dread the job. It is not too big. We aren't tackling twenty years of accumulation in the basement in one afternoon. What we are doing is lightening the load. The good feelings that come from making an effort and seeing some results will give us a feeling of accomplishment. That feeling makes us feel like we can do more good things.
Self improvement, healthy lifestyle, less cluttered living--it's a work in progress. There will be no perfection here because life itself is messy. Good news--we are looking for progress. Feeling like you are on the road to self improvement is so much better than feeling like you are stuck in the on-ramp and don't know what to do or where to go. You do know. Set a timer for ten minutes and lighten your load so that you can de-stress. Lighten your load so that you have more room in your mind to take care of yourself. Lighten your load so you have perspective on what really matters. Lighten your load so you feel you are in control of your life.
Thursday, February 16, 2017
Some Effort is Always Better
The flu has taken me down this week. The real flu...the one you are supposed to get vaccinated against. It cannot be confused with a cold or a sinus infection or a stomach bug. This influenza virus will make you so sick you no longer wonder how people could actually die from it. It brought me to my knees. Hence, the very late weekly missive.
As I come back to the land of the living, as opposed to the land of the crawling, I am reminding myself that no matter what, no matter how, we persist. In the game of life, we take our chances, and we play the hand we are dealt, and we keep going. This is our job. No matter what. This is is critically important, especially in the game of lifestyle change.
Often our impatience or our desire for the speediest, most McQuick results gets in the way of our very own progress. A baby step forward followed by another can be far more significant than a huge leap into the deep end of the ocean only to find out you can't really swim that well. Sometimes, a baby step is all you have in you. When that is the case, then that is enough. Yes, I did say that a baby step can be enough when that is all you have in you. When you are ready for the big leap, jump in. Take greater chances, make greater strides, using your past successes and difficult experiences to steer you to the brighter, healthier, happier, calmer and more fulfilling future.
I spend a lot of time every week giving advice, helping people break down their problems so they can achieve future success. It often comes back to the simplest of themes. Make an effort. Do something good for yourself today--every day--even if that something good doesn't feel all that monumental. Make it happen just the same. Keep dreaming and then planning for a more satisfying life. You are at the center of your precious life, so work on it. Make it the one you are most proud of.
As I come back to the land of the living, as opposed to the land of the crawling, I am reminding myself that no matter what, no matter how, we persist. In the game of life, we take our chances, and we play the hand we are dealt, and we keep going. This is our job. No matter what. This is is critically important, especially in the game of lifestyle change.
Often our impatience or our desire for the speediest, most McQuick results gets in the way of our very own progress. A baby step forward followed by another can be far more significant than a huge leap into the deep end of the ocean only to find out you can't really swim that well. Sometimes, a baby step is all you have in you. When that is the case, then that is enough. Yes, I did say that a baby step can be enough when that is all you have in you. When you are ready for the big leap, jump in. Take greater chances, make greater strides, using your past successes and difficult experiences to steer you to the brighter, healthier, happier, calmer and more fulfilling future.
I spend a lot of time every week giving advice, helping people break down their problems so they can achieve future success. It often comes back to the simplest of themes. Make an effort. Do something good for yourself today--every day--even if that something good doesn't feel all that monumental. Make it happen just the same. Keep dreaming and then planning for a more satisfying life. You are at the center of your precious life, so work on it. Make it the one you are most proud of.
Tuesday, February 7, 2017
Finding Inspiration
When all else fails, an inspiring story can lift your spirits and remind you that rising above your circumstances is possible.
There is so much that connects us. We all care about our family and friends. We all care about our health. We all care about our livelihood. We all care about our well-being. We all want things to go as well as possible. At the same time, we know that wanting things to work out well is not enough to make that happen. This is precisely when a shift in mindset can reboot the system and enable us to move forward.
Curiously, it doesn't take that much to shift your mindset. Sometimes an unexpected smile or kind word or memory or flashpoint to a previous success can do it. Sometimes reading about other people who share difficult circumstances who somehow are rising above, at least for the moment, can help. This matters, because we are emotional human beings. We all go through a broad spectrum of feelings and thoughts throughout the day.
On the other hand, things might begin well and then start unraveling out of no where. For example, I volunteered to teach an aqua aerobics class on Monday. I was helping out in a pinch when no one else was available. One of the participants looked at me (disappointedly) and asked if I understood that this class was not an arthritis aqua class? OUCH. It got to the point where I had to say that we all need a positive attitude--if I weren't there, there would be no class. Shift! I don't like interactions like this to ruin my day, so I chose to move on. It doesn't help to dwell on negative experiences or unkind words. It does help immensely to move forward. This is a valuable life skill that we can use every single day.
Whether you are inspired by your family members, a story in the news, someone at your work or in your neighborhood or even a stranger you read about on social media, take it in. Let those normal, human experiences compel you to keep moving your life forward, to keep rising above the challenges that face you, to keep a positive attitude so you can live a fulfilling, rewarding life. It is a choice.
This week, seek out inspiring people in your daily life. Discover their stories and let them be reminders that you too can show up for your precious life.
There is so much that connects us. We all care about our family and friends. We all care about our health. We all care about our livelihood. We all care about our well-being. We all want things to go as well as possible. At the same time, we know that wanting things to work out well is not enough to make that happen. This is precisely when a shift in mindset can reboot the system and enable us to move forward.
Curiously, it doesn't take that much to shift your mindset. Sometimes an unexpected smile or kind word or memory or flashpoint to a previous success can do it. Sometimes reading about other people who share difficult circumstances who somehow are rising above, at least for the moment, can help. This matters, because we are emotional human beings. We all go through a broad spectrum of feelings and thoughts throughout the day.
On the other hand, things might begin well and then start unraveling out of no where. For example, I volunteered to teach an aqua aerobics class on Monday. I was helping out in a pinch when no one else was available. One of the participants looked at me (disappointedly) and asked if I understood that this class was not an arthritis aqua class? OUCH. It got to the point where I had to say that we all need a positive attitude--if I weren't there, there would be no class. Shift! I don't like interactions like this to ruin my day, so I chose to move on. It doesn't help to dwell on negative experiences or unkind words. It does help immensely to move forward. This is a valuable life skill that we can use every single day.
Whether you are inspired by your family members, a story in the news, someone at your work or in your neighborhood or even a stranger you read about on social media, take it in. Let those normal, human experiences compel you to keep moving your life forward, to keep rising above the challenges that face you, to keep a positive attitude so you can live a fulfilling, rewarding life. It is a choice.
This week, seek out inspiring people in your daily life. Discover their stories and let them be reminders that you too can show up for your precious life.
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