At this time of year, we hear about the highs and lows of the year. Oftentimes, friends review the past twelve months and pick photos that best depict the high points of the year and make those images the centerpiece of their holiday greeting card. Others review the year in stories. They recount trips taken, babies born, experiences like marriages (or divorces), new jobs, etc. Some years, the news is not so wonderful, in which case, we usually don't want to broadcast those images on any card or facebook post. In fact, the year I was going through my divorce was the first year in my adult life that I couldn't even bring myself to send Christmas cards. I was too distracted and upset.
We often have a feeling that when the calendar turns, our life will too. The truth of the matter is more nuanced. Life events come to us in waves. We don't decide to get a new job and then have one the next day. We don't get a nasty head cold and then get better in minutes. There is a gradual building up and a gradual letting down. "Things" take time--their own sweet time.
As we say goodbye to 2016, we can reflect on what the year brought to our lives and made our lives worth living. We can think about the people who helped us and made our life feel richer and more meaningful. We can consider the experiences we had that stretched us. We can even review the losses we suffered. It is likely a complex picture. With a full range of emotions as human beings, of course it is a complex picture.
Now is a good time to consider all that 2016 brought to our lives--and what we would like to expand upon in 2017 and what we'd like to leave behind. How do you enjoy spending your valuable free time? Are you fulfilled in your hobbies and activities? Is there more to learn, or is it time to move on to something else entirely? What about the people you spend time with? Are you still benefiting from those connections in a way that matters to you, or is it time to disengage a bit? What about the state of your health? Are you happy with what you do to promote and preserve good health and wellbeing? Are you feeling that this is an area to improve upon? There is no right or wrong answer, and there is no judgment. It's up to you how you value and view things.
So consider your life a precious one. Consider the run-up to 2017 to be a time of transition to more of what you'd like to invite. Do not waste your precious life.
Tuesday, December 27, 2016
Monday, December 12, 2016
Stay Sane
We hear the message so often: slow down, calm down, take a deep breath, take care of yourself, let it go, you are doing too much... Yet, how often do we really take the good advice and do just that? During this busy holiday month, we need more frequent breaks, more rest not less and less "clutter" in our brains and on our calendar which all gets in the way of healthy living.
There is no perfect way to do this. There is no perfect anything when it comes to human beings who are always changing in our feelings, attitudes, energy levels. So, let me be clear. Just because we take frequent breaks and breaths does not mean we will be stress-free and blissful. Instead, what it does mean is that the busy demands of daily life do not have to overwhelm us to the point of frustration or unpleasantness, mindless eating or road rage.
Stress doesn't go away. It is a wave in our lives that comes in and goes out in varying degrees of intensity throughout the day. Everything from getting up on a snowy morning to seven inches of snow to shovel to managing job expectations, family demands, finances and relationships and more can create a ripple of stress that energizes the day. How we look at these things is key. Keeping perspective is critical. Being more positive than negative is definitely the path to follow.
What managing stress means is that we are aware of what is going on, deeply aware. We sense when we are getting overwhelmed with pressure. Perhaps we can even identify its source. We are that in touch. We can then take a pause and consider our options, how to proceed, whom to discuss the problem with, what to do or NOT do. We can always use our two legs and take a step away from technology. We can clear our head and walk. The path to the troubled mind goes straight through the body (in motion) and the intentional breath (in and out through the nose). After taking a pause that has the potential to refresh, we can regain the composure we need to move on to the next moment.
Our ancestors didn't have technology and stimuli the way we do. Of course they had other stressors and other worries like survival on their minds. They led physical lives. Things that we take for granted, like food and heating, were concerns for them. They had to deal with the "elements" which kept them grounded to nature--for better or worse. The information age we live in keeps us hyper-alert and responsive to a device that won't stop talking. It keeps the active mind "on call," and it produces stress. We can't ever "turn it off" or tune it out because it is always "on." That means it is up to us to set the boundaries for how much we want to deal with and when.
Let's be interested observers of ourselves this week. Let's take a look at how we handle things like waiting in line, weather, difficult people, annoying circumstances at the mall, the evening news. Are we aware and in touch enough to notice when we need to tune out the external messages and tune into what we really care about? Can we slow down a little bit to notice?
It is up to us to stay sane. It's time to practice.
There is no perfect way to do this. There is no perfect anything when it comes to human beings who are always changing in our feelings, attitudes, energy levels. So, let me be clear. Just because we take frequent breaks and breaths does not mean we will be stress-free and blissful. Instead, what it does mean is that the busy demands of daily life do not have to overwhelm us to the point of frustration or unpleasantness, mindless eating or road rage.
Stress doesn't go away. It is a wave in our lives that comes in and goes out in varying degrees of intensity throughout the day. Everything from getting up on a snowy morning to seven inches of snow to shovel to managing job expectations, family demands, finances and relationships and more can create a ripple of stress that energizes the day. How we look at these things is key. Keeping perspective is critical. Being more positive than negative is definitely the path to follow.
What managing stress means is that we are aware of what is going on, deeply aware. We sense when we are getting overwhelmed with pressure. Perhaps we can even identify its source. We are that in touch. We can then take a pause and consider our options, how to proceed, whom to discuss the problem with, what to do or NOT do. We can always use our two legs and take a step away from technology. We can clear our head and walk. The path to the troubled mind goes straight through the body (in motion) and the intentional breath (in and out through the nose). After taking a pause that has the potential to refresh, we can regain the composure we need to move on to the next moment.
Our ancestors didn't have technology and stimuli the way we do. Of course they had other stressors and other worries like survival on their minds. They led physical lives. Things that we take for granted, like food and heating, were concerns for them. They had to deal with the "elements" which kept them grounded to nature--for better or worse. The information age we live in keeps us hyper-alert and responsive to a device that won't stop talking. It keeps the active mind "on call," and it produces stress. We can't ever "turn it off" or tune it out because it is always "on." That means it is up to us to set the boundaries for how much we want to deal with and when.
Let's be interested observers of ourselves this week. Let's take a look at how we handle things like waiting in line, weather, difficult people, annoying circumstances at the mall, the evening news. Are we aware and in touch enough to notice when we need to tune out the external messages and tune into what we really care about? Can we slow down a little bit to notice?
It is up to us to stay sane. It's time to practice.
Tuesday, December 6, 2016
There's Only So Much Room in Your Brain
I was listening to an NPR broadcast this past Saturday. A neuroscientist from California was doing a study about the brain. He asked a group of people in one room to remember a certain number given to them. Some people got a two-digit number to memorize and recall. Other people got a six-digit number to memorize and recall. No one knew whose number was whose or who got a longer number or not. Then, each person was asked to leave the room and move to another room down the hall where they'd be asked to recall their number. Unbeknownst to the participants, they were greeted in the hallway by a person offering a snack of either healthy fruit or chocolate cake. This is where the work of the study was taking place. There was an overwhelming choice of fruit by the two-digit people. The six-digit people were most likely to choose cake. The scientist determined that when the rational part of the brain is working hard (remembering six digits) it cannot also make additional rational choices such as eat healthy fruit instead of sugary, caloric cake.
We can use this information to our advantage during this busy holiday time with so much temptation all around. We only have so much "real estate" available in our brains to make decisions. This reminds me of "decision fatigue." Yet another study I heard regarding prisoners who were coming up for release. When researchers compared prisoners who were released and those who were not, they noticed that the prisoners whose cases were reviewed in the afternoon were far more likely NOT to be released--even when they had comparable cases compared to the morning prisoners. The scientists realized that the review board suffered from "decision fatigue." After having made so many decisions already, instead of risking the wrong choice, they deferred the cases of the afternoon prisoners. OUCH. Clearly, the brain can only handle so much. This can help explain why is is harder to make healthy choices later in the day, like from 3PM - bedtime.
Let's be clear--of course there is a time and place for cake. Let's not pretend that we would always vote for fruit instead of cake no matter what else we are thinking or what time it is. However, we do want to set ourselves up for as much success as possible. By slowing down long enough to consider our choices, we can let go of whatever else might be occupying our thoughts. We can then benefit from smarter choices. That benefit can bring more personal satisfaction. That benefit can help us shift our thinking. That's where lifestyle change begins.
We can use this information to our advantage during this busy holiday time with so much temptation all around. We only have so much "real estate" available in our brains to make decisions. This reminds me of "decision fatigue." Yet another study I heard regarding prisoners who were coming up for release. When researchers compared prisoners who were released and those who were not, they noticed that the prisoners whose cases were reviewed in the afternoon were far more likely NOT to be released--even when they had comparable cases compared to the morning prisoners. The scientists realized that the review board suffered from "decision fatigue." After having made so many decisions already, instead of risking the wrong choice, they deferred the cases of the afternoon prisoners. OUCH. Clearly, the brain can only handle so much. This can help explain why is is harder to make healthy choices later in the day, like from 3PM - bedtime.
Let's be clear--of course there is a time and place for cake. Let's not pretend that we would always vote for fruit instead of cake no matter what else we are thinking or what time it is. However, we do want to set ourselves up for as much success as possible. By slowing down long enough to consider our choices, we can let go of whatever else might be occupying our thoughts. We can then benefit from smarter choices. That benefit can bring more personal satisfaction. That benefit can help us shift our thinking. That's where lifestyle change begins.
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