Holiday Check in? How are You NOW?

In the flurry of holiday activities, let's come back to what is real.  You are real.  Your body is real.  Your thoughts are real even if they aren't helpful.  Your heartfelt wishes are real.  Let's be clear.  You are not your body or your thoughts or your wishes, but they do matter.  In fact, they matter regardless of the day of the month, week or year. 

With this point, consider what needs to happen for you to enjoy the last two weeks of this year.  If holiday time is one of your favorite times, then this is easy.  Pace yourself and keep going.  If you are not quite into the festive spirit, now is the time to find things to appreciate. Maybe it something simple like looking at lights at night or enjoying a special tea and a good book or sitting in a hotel lobby amidst the hubbub.  If this is NOT your favorite time for whatever reason--alternative Christmas, then your focus might be to just get through it.  That's ok too.  Get distracted.  Maintain routine, and be kind to yourself.  Time marches on either way. 

Acknowledging how you are this time of year is very important.  You don't have to be happy if you're not or excited if you're deflated or worried about finances.  Not everyone is holding hands and singing carols around the Christmas tree.  (As if!)   I remember the Christmas when I was in the middle of my divorce, and soon to be ex husband was still living in the house.  It was horrible.  I couldn't even bring myself to send out cards, which I love to do.  It was tough slogging, but I had to do it for my daughters, so I did.  And, presto change-o we all got through it. 

One thing everyone can do, right now, in this moment, which is where the power is--the present moment--is to give yourself the gift of self care awareness.  You can, right now, take note of how you feel in your body--rested? fatigued? borderline ill?  You can take note of how you feel in your mind--distracted? overwhelmed?  contented?  And you can take a good long look at what you hold dearly in your heart--the very best of you.  What lies there?  What are your heartfelt wishes for yourself?  Consider what comes up even if it makes no sense.  Sit with those things for a bit.  If you feel that your heartfelt wishes are far away in the future, then acknowledge that it may be a process.  If you feel that your heartfelt wishes are actually coming to you, be very appreciative of that too. 

Wishing everyone a very merry Christmas, happy Chanukah however it pleases you.

Plan B: Holiday Eating ReBoot

Every year when the holidays come around, there is excitement, nostalgia and sometimes dread at the thought of all that has to get done.  Sometimes it is an nonevent because of unforeseen circumstances.  No matter what, the pressure is on.  The booze is flowing.  The cookies are baking and trading.  The pot lucks are often bad lucks.  So much to do.

At the start of the season with the pumpkin spice turning to pepperminty, it all seems hopeful.  However, after a few gatherings or unexpected pitfalls, it can become too much.  I always hear by the end of the year--"I'm so glad it's over."  Wait a second...it all began so well... but what an end.  It doesn't have to be this way.

Imagining your best self showing up in the midst of a busy time of year, on top of your regular life including work, family, commuting, pets, laundry, bill paying, etc. might be too ambitious.  So, instead of counting on your best self showing up, what about your best self in the moment showing up?  What about pivoting and redirecting your attention where you really want it to go?   This is not to say that planning how to handle a social event, dinner out or celebration is not a wise idea.  This is to suggest that what if, by chance, you are thrown for a loop in the moment, and your best laid plan is not going to happen.   Plan B is your new Plan A/change-a-roo.

Of course, in order to pivot in the moment, you have to be mindful of what is happening, what is being offered, where you position yourself in relation to food opportunities and how you are feeling.  The power is always in the present moment.  What if you are invited to a party that you have gone to for years, and every year they have served the same kind of healthy food.  You have come to expect it, and this year, whoops--it's different.  You were planning on that delicious relish tray with grilled veggies and shrimp cocktail, but instead, they are serving frozen cheesey hors d'oeuvres from Costco.  YUM.  But wait a minute, YUM but major calories from sat fat.  Now you can pivot and rethink your options.  What looks worthy of indulging in?  Can you go and get more bubbly water first?  Can you distance yourself from the food for a bit?  Can you retreat and go to the restroom and look yourself in the mirror and say--Plan A/change-a-roo starts now? 

There is no perfect plan.  There is the human plan that gets carried out in very human situations.  A healthier holiday plan is what we are looking for.  This means that we don't get filled with regret over what happened.  We don't have a gut bomb because we overdid it.  We don't dread social gatherings because we can't control our impulses.  We go to the events that appeal.  We enjoy what we can--our friends, the catching up, the fun.  We choose mindfully.  Afterwards, consider how things went.  Do you like what happened?  Do you like your pivot?  Then, gather wisdom from that experience and use it the next time. 

Holly jolly, jingle jangle, ho ho ho and merry berry.  If you want it to be.  Calm, control, peace, joy.  If you want it to be.  A little of both.  You decide.  Then embrace your choices. 

Bounce Back with Healthy Fuel

With Thanksgiving in the rear view mirror, we now turn our attention to December and all that it brings.  Staying focused on your routine and keeping your schedule as normal as possible are great ways to approach this busy time.

Start the day off right with a healthy breakfast so that your body and mind are prepared for more good things to come.  Fuel the day with protein, healthy carbs and a healthy fat.  This will give you energy to do your work plus a little boost in case  someone walks in with donuts.  Speaking of those unexpected treats... decide if and when you are going to indulge, and then enjoy.  Every treat that comes your way, however, is not yours.  Some of this "found food" is worthy of you, while some is simply not.

Drink lots of water no matter the weather.  Staying hydrated so that your body works better is critical.  At home, set up a nice pitcher of spa water on your kitchen counter.  Every time you see it, take another drink.  You can add peeled cucumber and limes or lemons and oranges or mint leaves and cucumber--whatever you like.  It's fun to look at.  It's a twist on regular water.  It can remind you to drink more water.

Plan ahead for parties and pot lucks.  Decide in advance which parties are worth eating at.  This week I have three Christmas parties in a row.  Two of these parties I have been to before, and while they have great holiday foods at both, I can easily eat before I go and have seltzer water when I am there.  The other party--that's at a hotel with fun programming and a dessert reception and... I don't know what else, but that's where I am planning to try some new things.  As for pot lucks, if you don't have to go, then maybe you skip.  Not every gathering may be worthy of your time and effort.  In that case, bypass the pot luck/bad luck buffet and eat as you normally would.

Keep your activity going.  If you take a regular yoga class or walk with a friend, don't stop now.  Your body and mind will thank you for these precious breaks. 

Stocking the refrigerator with healthy foods, lots of cut up fruits and vegetables that are grab and go will help keep you on track.  Heavy holiday foods interfere with your digestion, energy and motivation.  Bounce back by eating your regular foods. 

Staying focused and on track is a challenge oftentimes, and at holiday time, the struggle is real.  You can be stronger than the struggle.  You can decide that even if today didn't go as well as you would have liked, you will bounce back by doing the next right thing.  The power is in the doing.  The power is in you. 

Self Care Aware

My recommendation and mantra for holiday time is be SELF CARE AWARE.  Repeat this to yourself as often as you need to so that you are aware of how you are feeling and doing.  For example, how hungry are you..how tired are you...how energized are you...how stressed are you?  And then, depending on your answers, respond to your body's signals and your mind's answers accordingly.  Slow down to notice.

This is the time of year with so much distraction, that it can be challenging to remember to slow down in the first place.  However, checking in with yourself is one of the best gifts you can give yourself.  By being self care aware, you can make good use of your coping skills, your self regulating skills and your self preservation skills.  This will lead to more peacefulness and more calm whether you are at the grocery store with a crowd of people checking their lists or whether you are in a frenzied mall where people are pushing and rushing, or even worse--you are bothered by your own thoughts about getting it all done in time. 

Can there be a nice balance between being social and engaging and just relaxing and enjoying?  For me, I can't relax until my holiday cards are done.  I love doing them, but this year--there is NO photo which is something I always have on my cards.  I am still not sure how I will resolve this.  Yet, I have decided I am not going to stress myself about it.  My baby girls are 21 and 18 at this point. 

It sounds like I have jumped straight to Christmas and forgotten Thanksgiving.  No, I have not.  I just realized that Christmas is about a month away, so I have a lot to do.  First things first--our November holiday of thanks, gratitude for health, happiness, our treasured friends and loving family, our pets...It's not all perfect, of course not.  (I can't tell you how many lies I have to stomach at my house.)  However, take your health away, and there is nothing.  Take your loved ones away, and there is grief.  Take your friendships away, and there is loneliness that no one deserves.  Take my Pippa away... oh don't even go there. 

The most precious gratitude is for what you have that cannot be bought.  Make a list of those things and be very appreciative...spend time with them and give them your full attention.  Be self care aware.  Enjoy doing it, after all you too are a gift. 

Try Something New If...

When things are going well, there's no real reason to make a change.  Just ride the wave!   But, when your routine starts getting boring, or your habits are not helping you anymore, it might be time to try something new.

Whether it's with your eating, your exercising, your hobbies or even your job--you can always pivot a little or a lot to get something more than what you have presently. 

This week in WW, we rolled out a program innovation, "MY WW" so that for the first time ever there are three healthy ways to work it.  If you are happy with what's happening now, however, stay where you are.  If you would like to explore another option, take a chance on you and see what results you get.

At the very least, remember that the best eating plan for you is the one that you can sustain over the long term.  Your healthy lifestyle is a long term commitment. 

You are never stuck.  Not in your eating.  Not in your mind.  Not in your relationships.  Not in your job.  Embrace something new this week, and take the best gamble ever--the one where you win no matter what.

Karen Coach Says: Self Preservation in a Ball of Bright Light

Karen Coach Says: Self Preservation in a Ball of Bright Light: This week I was thinking about how other people's negative energy can affect me.  I can get bothered if I am in a setting where someone ...

Self Preservation in a Ball of Bright Light

This week I was thinking about how other people's negative energy can affect me.  I can get bothered if I am in a setting where someone who has no self awareness starts chomping ice and spitting it in a cup, for example.  Yes, this happened in a yoga training I attended.  Last summer, I was in a qi gong training in Santa Cruz, and an odd woman kept moaning during class and coming in late and making a fuss and creating a nuisance.  I found this distracting.  Others said to me--don't let this bother you.  Of course, they were right.  But, for me, it is easier said than done.

Fast forward to this past weekend, my qi gong master, Lee Holden, was in town for a day of qi gong at a retreat space in Marine on St. Croix.  This was an incredible opportunity to learn more from him and to advance my own practice.  Lee is a 50 year old athletic California guy, father of three young girls, former soccer player from Berkeley who travels the world for his work and appears on big stages with the likes of Deepak Chopra.  He is often in intimate settings with lots of people who want something from him.  I asked him how he keeps other people's negative energy from getting to him.  He told me that he just releases other people's negative energy.  He doesn't let it get to him, on him, in his mind.  He said that when someone is bringing their neediness or dark energy to him, he imagines that there is the GRAND CANYON between him and them.  What a great image and what a great tip for us all.

Our world is full of people from all walks of life.  Who can know what people are grappling with from one moment to the next?  Compassion for them, yes, but self preservation for you.  Therefore, if you find yourself in awkward situations where someone is not being kind, not being self aware and bringing judgment or negative qi (qi is energy) to you, you might try envisioning yourself in a ball of bright light surrounded by good thoughts, positive images, self love and kindness.  And just imagine that this bright light coming from you can diminish any negative qi that might be floating around you.

This is my plan, and I am sharing it with you. 

Call it Recess

Moving the body is just as important as moving the mind.  When we were kids, we loved it.  It was play, and we had excess energy to burn, so it made a whole lot of sense.  As adults, it can feel very different when responsibilities and jobs and mortgages get in the way.

This is not ok, because the benefits of exercise are enormous.  Exercise is a great break for your mind.  Stepping away from all the cognitive "heavy lifting" that you do on your device makes you more productive when you return.  Exercise helps relieve stress.  Exercise gives us more body confidence and body positivity.  Exercise can lift the mood and regulate emotion.  Exercise is simply a part of a healthy lifestyle.  And, the good news is that it all counts.  Steps, washing the car, cleaning the house, raking leaves, dog walking, aqua aerobics, Walk 15, etc.  It also adds up.  Every ten minute burst is a boost in the right direction, so that by the end of the day you can add it all up and feel a sense of accomplishment. 

Why not make exercise feel like recess?  Why not call it recess?  When I teach yoga, I often tell my students that their yoga practice IS recess.  It's our fun time to be in our "play clothes" and move around in a group of like minded people.  It even sounds like recess.  If you can make it fun, you can look forward to it.  Then, you are much more likely to keep it up.

We are life long learners, and we can also be life long exercisers.  Define what that means for you, and commit to it.  Commit to yourself.  Make time for recess, and when the bell rings, you go have fun.

Puzzle Your Problems to Reset Goals

Goals are the reasons why we do things.  We want certain things like income and benefits, so we seek employment.  We go to work even when we feel less than optimal, because we are highly motivated to get paid, to support ourselves, our family, our lifestyle.  Even on those occasions when we aren't feeling 100% great about our job, we are always feeling 100% great about getting paid for doing our job.  

When it comes to other things, simpler things like house projects or going to the gym, we may have good intentions, but when it comes time to execute the plan, something unexpected can get in the way.  Maybe you don't feel great, so painting a bedroom is not going to happen this weekend.  Maybe you are especially stressed after work, and you forgot to pack your gym bag, so you go home instead and then get comfortable.   

We plan and set goals when we envision our very best selves taking over.  We are optimistic and forward thinking.  However, a lot can happen between the time you set your goal to the time you are supposed to act on your goal.  What often gets in the way is friction--unexpected obstacles.  The solution to this problem is to unravel the circumstances and consider exactly what got in the way.  Not trash talking to yourself is critical.  The more you focus on the fact that you didn't do what you set out to do--the worse you feel--the less motivated you are.  

I think one of the toughest truths to accept with goal setting is that it is harder to execute a plan than it is to make a plan.  Think about a goal of eating one slice of pizza when everyone else is indulging.  That's hard.  That goes against natural instincts--eat with the tribe--do what your friends are doing--be cohesive.  That piece of the puzzle doesn't fit or feel good.  The only way we can execute that plan is if we focus on what we want more instead of on what we want in the moment.  We must remember our "why" for what we are doing.  We also can't be too hungry, otherwise all bets are off when primal instincts take over.  We also have to have a strong plan to fill up on salad, eat the one slice of pizza and get away from the rest of the pizza.  Whew... that's a major feat.  

This week, take a look at one of your goals (eat less sugar, exercise three times a week, track daily, no snacking after dinner, etc.) and consider what is it that is making it so difficult to achieve.  Keep puzzling this through until you get to the honest answer.  That answer may be--I just don't feel like it.  Then, reconsider what a more achievable goal might look like instead.  A "Plan B" might be executed more often than a Plan A.  And that's A-OK.

Fruits and Veggies

Eating with the seasons and eating a variety of fruits and vegetables is always going to be the healthy way to go.  Unfortunately, most people around the world--yes, the world--are not getting enough.  In fact, it is recommended that most adults double their fruit and veggie consumption.  

With so many options, it can be a simple matter of getting frozen and fresh vegetables in the house every single week.  Trying a new preparation, like roasting vegetables or fruits like peaches and pineapple can make eating the rainbow more appealing.  Adding new spices or herbs can also make a common veggie like carrots seem more appealing--e.g. roasting multi-color carrots with dried thyme.  That's one of my favorites.  Furthermore, it is so easy--sheet pan cooking.

This week I am committed to trying something new.  That means dragon fruit for the first time for me.  I encourage you to pay more attention to this food group.  Increase your servings of fruits and veggies.  Discover a new recipe or preparation.  Snack on jicama with a low point or zero point dip.

See what it does for you, your energy level and your sense of fullness.  

Stress Less

Everyone feels stress, and we Americans feel it more than others around the world.  Maybe it is our work ethic, our on-demand culture, our Mc-Quick-have it your way attitude?  Whatever the reason, this is a health problem that can lead to weight gain, sleeplessness and sickness to name a few.

While we cannot eliminate stress entirely, we can manage our reaction to it.  This is where the power is.  Personal power.  For starters, consider the situations, times of day, people in your world who bring stress.  Consider how you react presently, in these circumstances.  Consider what you have ever done in the past to calm yourself down, self regulate and manage your stress. 

Many of us, including yours truly, have managed stress by eating sweets or high calorie carbs in response to stress.  Stress makes us crave junky food and retain belly fat. There's always junky snacks available, and it's socially acceptable to eat practically all the time.  Except, now that we are looking for self improvement, weight loss or maintenance and good health, this doesn't work.  We cannot continue to use food to stuff feelings, manage emotional situations or deal with loss and disappointment. 

Exercise is my favorite way to relieve stress.  It is a physical thing I can do with my body to get out of my mind.  By exercising regularly, I am automatically pre-managing my stress.  After sixteen years of doing this, I can honestly say the grouch in me comes out if I haven't been able to do my workouts and practice yoga and play qi gong. 

Meditation, as in breathe in deeply through the nose and out through the nose, is an internal switch we all have that tells the body to stop producing cortisol and adrenalin and slow down.  This is the antidote to stress, an engagement of the parasympathetic nervous system.  Traffic, hospital situations, waiting in long lines--these are all places where the power of the invisible breath can take over.

This week, really consider how you can channel your energy into a positive response to a stressor and make a plan.  See what it does for you.  See how many calories you can save yourself by not eating to cope.  See how it makes you feel, and then give yourself credit for making a change!

Take Stock and Rewind

Our days are made up of so many choices.  Some of those choices we can be happy about because they align with the person we want to be, our values, our intentions.  On the other hand, some of those choices we may not be happy about because they keep us stuck in old patterns of thinking and doing.  They detract from our quality of life.

The trick is to rewind the tape and identify where are things going right and where are things going wrong?  Then, rewind the tape even more.  How did that good decision about going to the gym early in the morning even happen?  Maybe you went to bed earlier the night before.  Maybe you promised a friend you would meet at the gym at a certain time.  Maybe you set out your gym clothes and work attire so that you would have no excuses for skipping the gym...  Then rewind the tape again and realize how you felt having done what you intended to.  How did it make your day go?  What was the payoff?  Repeat!

Alternatively, hitting the rewind button works for bad habits too.  Consider the nightly dinner challenge.  What are we having?  What is there to make?  How long will it take?  The time to plan dinner is not at dinner.  The time to plan is over the weekend during a big grocery shopping trip or when making a food delivery order.  Rewind to discover how that planning may have broken down?  Rewind again to notice what circumstances led up to it?  Maybe you went out of town and were too tired to grocery shop when you got back and now you've been doing take out for three days since.  STOP.  Consider what you can do now--knowing that when you are tired and away for the weekend when you normally shop or order, you need to have a PLAN B in place so that you can be successful with dinners.  That's it.  Promise yourself that next time, you will follow through on your PLAN B so that you can be more successful.

I am breaking a bad habit I've developed at the grocery store by using this rewind technique.  I realized that even before I go to the grocery store, I give myself permission to buy a small baggie of bulk candy.  I don't want to be buying bulk candy every time I am there, so I am consciously NOT giving myself permission when I go.

Pick one thing this week to focus on, and find yourself being more successful, happier and more fulfilled.  Then REPEAT.

Why Do You Care So Much?

Change comes from a dark place.  (If you are comfortable, you aren't making a change.)

Transformation comes from a bright place.  (You want more than a change, you want a glorious reformation.)

Motivation comes from uncovering your reasons why you care in the first place.

Your WHY is precisely those reasons.

Without reasons and without "whys" we can't make anything happen.  We can't get up early and go to the gym or walk 10,000 steps or pack lunches or manage emotions without eating.  We can't bring ourselves to do anything.  We just exist from one day to the next.  After a while, that life becomes very unappealing.

Another truth on the path to transformation is that wanting it badly isn't enough to create it.  Wanting it badly enough to make lifestyle changes, bit by bit, over time does create it.  And even so, that doesn't mean you won't ever have a bump in the road and a set back.  Set backs are normal and part of every single person's life. 

Enter the WHY promises.  When we connect and reconnect to our WHY we remind ourselves that we are worth the effort, our heart's desire is worth pursuing even if it seems momentarily out of reach.

Finding inspiring role models, connecting with others who understand this journey, reading motivation stories can help, but truly, at the end of the day--it boils down to you and what you carry in your heart.  Maybe there is a dream there that hasn't yet been realized because you forgot your WHY.  Maybe there is a limiting belief that it might take "too long" so it's not worthwhile.  This is incorrect. 

When you align your lifestyle with your WHY, you fulfill your dreams.  You find more satisfaction.  You become happier.  #WINNING.

Don't wait.  Connect with your heart's desire now.  Align your actions, your words, your thoughts and your body with your WHY.  Start living the dream.  You belong to this moment.  You belong to this challenge.  This is otherwise known as your precious life.

Sitting is the New Smoking

Have you heard--sitting is considered the new smoking.  The average person in western countries sits for prolonged periods of time--as in ten hours per day.  This contributes to low energy to say the least not to mention risks for diabetes, some cancers, being overweight, etc. 

The key to solving this problem comes from: 1) being aware that you are sitting for prolonged periods of time; 2) creating a habit loop whereby you are triggered by an alarm, a person, a commercial, or a function that tells you it's time to get up and move; 3) focusing on the rewards that come from moving the body, relieving the mind, and taking a brain break. 

To extend the smoking analogy, consider the fact that smokers are motivated on a regular basis to get up and go outside and have a smoke.  They are triggered by the feeling of needing to smoke.  They are rewarded by getting to take a break from work and be outside in fresh air.  They are rewarded by seeing fellow smokers who might be outside too.  They are smoking.  Then they return to their work feeling refreshed.  I am NOT saying it's a healthy habit.  I am saying that it is the perfect (bad) habit loop. 

This week, take a look at how much time you spend sitting--at home on the couch, at work, at activities, in the car.  Does it add up to ten hours per day? YIKES!  That is too long and too damaging to your physical and mental health.  Consider what you can do to create a trigger, even an alarm on your phone will work, so that you get up and get moving for five minutes of walking, stretching, refilling the water bottle. etc.  Consider every effort an investment in your long term healthy lifestyle account.  I promise--you are worth the effort.

Not All Carbs are Bad News

Carbohydrates have gotten a bad rap, so much so that there are fad diets that recommend eliminating them altogether--even the good ones.  So, which ones are the "good ones" that are helpful for weight loss, feeling full on fiber and getting vitamins and nutrients?  Fruits and some veggies are good carbohydrates.  So are whole grains like oats, whole wheat, barley, brown rice plus beans and lentils.  Good carbs like whole grains are not necessarily low in calories, but because they are so filling and full of nutrition, they make sense to include in a healthy food plan.

As for the not so good carbohydrates, or the ones that are easy to overeat--those are the foods that we manage wisely.  Potatoes, white pasta, white rice, processed foods, cakes and cookies with white flour--these are the carbs that are high in calorie and can interfere with blood sugar levels.  Diabetics and pre-diabetics beware--we want even blood sugar that comes from eating from all the food groups, in moderate amounts, at regular intervals. 

The food groups are:  fruits and veggies; whole grains; lean animal protein and protein substitutes; dairy and dairy substitutes; healthy fats.  Chocolate and wine are not food groups, neither are potato chips and candy.  They are indulgences that we may like and partake in gladly--but need to be managed for weight loss and weight maintenance purposes.

Research shows that the best eating plan is the one that can be followed and sustained over the long haul.  Eliminating food groups like fruit or whole grains is just not sustainable.  Life is meant to be enjoyed, one moment at a time.  This week, look at your carb intake and notice if there is an opportunity to increase your healthy carbs like adding beans to a salad or trying spiralized veggies instead of white pasta in your favorite sauce.  See what opportunities are out there for you to be more satisfied, one meal at a time. 

Engage All Of Your Senses When You Eat

What would your meals be like if you could anticipate them, look at them, smell them, hear them and savor them slowly?  Using your senses to drop into the present moment--which is exactly where your body is at all times--is a great way to feel like you are getting more even though you may be eating less. 

Mindful eating requires time and attention to detail.  It requires putting down electronics and focusing on the experience, the people, the conversation and of course the yummy food.  It requires slowing down between bites and thoroughly chewing and tasting what's in your mouth.  It is a discipline not to rush through the meal just so that you can move on to the next thing.  In fact, it might be the exact opposite of what you have been doing all day. 

There are endless benefits to mindful living in all its forms--including mindful eating.  In this case, you might get satisfied with less food if you eat more carefully.  You might lose more weight for this reason alone.  You might digest your food better if you eat it more slowly and deliberately.  You might tune into your hunger and satiety cues with greater awareness, etc. etc.

The only thing standing between you and a twenty to thirty minute dinner at a table with a chair, free of distraction, is YOU.  All the advice I share may sound great, but if you don't actually do something with it, then it's just another great idea instead of a tool for success.

School is back in session, and lots of WW members are back too.  With fresh eyes in this new season, take a look around and notice what's changing.  Notice what new veggies are showing up at the grocery store.  Notice what colors are becoming more dominant.  Notice what hot foods you might be in the mood for.  With that, consider your meals to be nourishing opportunities.  Consider your time away from your busy day at a table with a chair to be a necessary ritual to look forward to instead of rush through.  Then, observe what you discover about your hunger, your enjoyment, your sense of satisfaction. 

You Have to Sleep, and You Have to Eat

Sleeping has been so underrated in the past.  I think this is partly because even scientists don't understand all the reasons why sleep is so restorative and beneficial to the body and mind, which it is.  Your cells renew themselves as you sleep--that's going down to the micro level.  Your skin looks better after a good night's sleep.  Your muscles and bones get a rest from any stress or strain you placed on them.  You can perform better, because you gave your body a well-deserved break.  Your mind has a chance to unravel and somehow process thoughts and contemplate decisions even though you are not conscious.  This is to name but a few of the benefits.

On the other hand, if you don't make time for good, quality sleep, it won't happen because your life and mine are full of other distractions, like electronics and other people in the household and chores, etc.  Someone told me last week that she sets a timer to go to bed.  Yes, you read that right--she has to make sure it happens at a regular time every night.  This is part of good sleep hygiene, i.e. getting into a routine of quieting the body and mind at the end of the day, limiting electronics and other sources of strong stimulation which could keep you wakeful.  Think of the night-night rituals parents create for their babies.  It's a slow and steady transition from wakefulness to comforting routines to bedtime. 

As adults, nothing happens unless we make it happen, and this is where "the cold, sharp knife edge of accountability" comes in.  We have to respect the fact that sleep hygiene is healthy and worthwhile and critical to hormone balance, brain and body function and even happiness. 

In the same vein, making good meals is also our responsibility.  Taking time, making time, carving out time to do it is part of being successful.  When life gets hectic and complicated, we don't slow down long enough to contemplate good choices or prepare healthy meals.  Instead, we move to the easiest option available, like a drive-through or a coffee shop with "hot dairy queen" coffee drinks full of sugar and saturated fat plus a scone while we are at it.  We are so preoccupied anyway, we forgot we were working hard to count points accurately and stay focused on our goals.  It happens to the best of us. 

We all have the same twenty-four hours in a day.  How we use that time to make our lives worthwhile is up to us.  We have to sleep every day.  Count those hours and how many you really need to thrive.  We have to nourish ourselves.  We cannot lose and maintain weight without eating well most often.  How long does that take?  We have to work (most of us anyway) so count those hours.  How many hours are left for self care, hobbies, family time?  If your days are upside down with have to's and stress, there is no room for good sleep or eating well, and that is not going to work.

This week, set a goal for yourself to make the basics--the things your parents took care of for you--a priority, so that you can feel rested and restored, nourished and fulfilled.  You have one precious life, and this is it.  You deserve to feel good while you are living it.

Make Room for YOUR Happiness

Happiness is healthy.  When you do things that make you happy, you feel good.  When you feel good, you want more of that, so you end up doing more of those things.  It's a continuous cycle. 

It sounds simple, but with a busy life, sometimes making time for happiness just doesn't happen.  That alone can lead to unhealthy habits like skipping meals, eating on the run and getting irregular sleep--which is not helpful. 

The good news is that even a little bit of time to yourself makes a difference.  On days when you don't have time for getting together with friends or taking your favorite fitness class, you can simply sit for five or ten minutes without your phone and relax, unplug and look around, taking a deep breath, slowing down. That might create a sense of calm--which is enough to bring a burst of happiness to your day.  It's one fewer reason to eat something to make yourself feel better.

Our precious Minnesota summer is quickly coming to a close.  This is time to consider what activities you still want to make room for.  Are there activities that will bring more happiness and more fun to your life this summer?  Get to it!  You are worth the effort.  Your health and happiness are at stake!

Snack Attack

Eating at regular intervals is key to managing hunger, maintaining blood sugar levels and boosting metabolism.  Three meals a day plus snacks in between is one example.  Six mini meals is another way to handle this.  There are some who can get through the day with three large, nutrient packed meals and skip snacks altogether.  However, for most people, three hours without eating is the limit.  That's the point when the hunger gets primal--and all good thoughts about managing hunger go out the window.  Regret may be soon to follow.

Planning ahead is the key.  Having shelf-stable snacks in your desk or car can be a lifesaver when you are stuck in traffic and need something to tide you over.  I usually leave the house every morning with fresh fruit, seltzer water and an emergency low-point bar.  I keep dried fruit in my car just in case I need a quick bite.  It doesn't take all that much food to get yourself over the hump I have found.  This is what makes us feel in control.

Not eating or pushing yourself to the limit is not helpful.  Hunger becomes "hangry"--which means that it is emotional and hard to manage.  Binge eating might even take over, and it is much harder to feel satisfied or full in this scenario.

If this is so important, why don't we do it all the time?  We are busy.  We get distracted and stressed with predictable and unpredictable life events.  In this case, know where to go quickly for your "Plan B" snack attack and keep blinders on when you go and get what is needed.

Food is fuel to the body and mind.  It keeps us energized, on track and feeling satisfied.  It frees us to do the physical and mental activities we want to do.  So, don't forget to pack your snacks and see what it does for you this week. 

What You See Outside Can Reduce Stress

Finding joy in nature can reduce stress and improve mood.  All you have to do is slow down long enough to notice what you see, hear, smell, feel.  Checking in with your senses drops your mind into the present moment, where your body always is.  That alone can be destressing.

My dog, Pippa, helps me do this very thing.  I walk her multiple times a day.  She is patient and can spot squirrels long before I ever notice them.  She takes her time when there is something new along our path.  She stops in her tracks when she just wants to take it all in.  I think she walks me the more I think about it.  Her sniffer is at work all the time too.  I have heard that dogs have a sense of smell 1,000 times stronger than human beings which is why she loves it so much when winter deep freeze is over, and the spring smells start sprouting.

The great outdoors is our native habitat too.  Because we live indoors in climate control, we risk missing some of what our natural surroundings have to offer unless we make a point of getting out and appreciating what's there.  Our great outdoors are not man-made.  They have an appeal far greater than a pretty house or impressive building.  They are always changing, and so are we.

I love summer.  My garden and yard are changing every day, and I have a front row seat to it all.  I observe how things are looking and growing every single day.  This is a relaxing past time that I don't have in winter when my garden is sleeping.  Even cutting my lawn can bring me into a state of calm.  This week, take some time outdoors.  Take time to notice what you see, hear, smell and feel when you are taking a simple walk or visiting a park or even walking your dog on a well worn path.  Let nature and what it has to show you, impress you.

Appreciate What Your Body Can Do

When it comes to self improvement, we benefit from all the help we can get.  That help starts with us--and that voice that keeps playing in our very own heads.  If those messages are negative and unhelpful, it will make it that much harder to improve.  In short, focus on what you want more of--not on what you don't.

As far as our bodies go, there is often a lot of shame, pressure, judging, comparing and negativity involved.  Simply thinking that your thighs are too big or your arms are too floppy is all it takes.  Those negative thoughts make it that much harder to improve the shape of those thighs and arms.  

This does not have to be.  In fact, instead of focusing on what you might not like about your body, research shows that if you focus on what your body has done for you and can do for you--you are more likely to lose weight.  This is very good news, because we control our thoughts.  We control what we focus on.  We can turn this around.

I am a mom.  I am glad my body made children.  My body does what I ask it to at the gym.  My body gets stronger and more flexible.  My legs walk me to where I want to go and away from where I do not wish to be.  Focusing on these things makes me body confident.  That makes me feel lighter.  

I often tell my yoga students that the only body parts you need to survive are a torso, neck and head.  This is true.  Arms and legs are extras, but I don't know anyone who would give them up no matter whether they look like a photo shopped magazine cover or not.  Even Cindy Crawford, a famous model, once said that she wished she looked like her magazine covers.  Appreciate what you have, and you will have even more.  

Eat From All the Food Groups

When people talk about the food groups, what they mean is this:

lean protein
fruits and veggies
lean dairy and dairy substitutes
whole grains
healthy fats

Chocolate is not a food group, and neither is wine.  Those are extras and indulgences that you might work into your plan.  Make no mistake about it--we all benefit from balancing our intake based on this old-fashioned yet still relevant breakdown. 

There has been a lot of confusion from marketers about what "healthy" really means.  In fact, there was a major misunderstanding in the weight loss world that "fat free" meant good news.  However, that wasn't entirely true.  We don't benefit from a completely fat free intake because we need healthy fats which are UNsaturated fats, found in salmon, avocado, nuts, nut butters, olive, canola, sunflower, safflower and flaxseed oil.  On the other hand, SATurated fats and sugar are what leads to overweight and obesity.  Limiting those fats is smart because they are prohibitively high in calories, and it's hard to discern when you are full when you are eating SATurated fat filled foods like potato chips and cake.  I can tell when I've had enough salmon. 

Butter and cream are 100% SATurated fat.  You may love them, and you may be working them into your plan which is your choice.  Just don't forget about the UNsaturated fats that are heart healthy, full of vitamin E, good for your brain, hair, skin and nails.  That's part of being a healthier new you.

Holiday or No Holiday--You are in Charge

July 4 is barely in the rear-view mirror.  Maybe it was another day off in an entire week's break from work or maybe it was a staycation stand-alone day--or part of a long weekend--it doesn't matter.  A holiday or a vacation/staycation is no excuse not to keep taking good care of yourself in body, mind and spirit. 

To some, I know this sounds "woo woo."  However, it is so basic, that we missed the plot.  We all benefit from doing the many things it takes effort to do--to keep ourselves going.  We owe this to ourselves and our families and our coworkers.  It's not fair to give it all away at work and then come home exhausted and too tired for the home team.  Nor is it acceptable to stay up too late and watch netflix and then show up at work with zero brainpower for the day. 

Let's consider other versions of "not showing up" which would look more like this--not shopping for groceries because it is a holiday weekend, because you are too tired anyway and then thinking you'll be grabbing food out.  Another version of not taking good care of yourself is not moving your body--at least some every day.  Truth be told, your body wants to move around and be outside.  It's your mind telling you otherwise.   Not making time to ease into a sleep ritual and then making time for quality, uninterrupted restorative sleep is also a version of not showing up for yourself.  Sleep is critical to your health, metabolism, hormone function, etc.  What about your hobbies and interests?  These are things that you like because you do, and when you participate in them, you feel renewed, energized, involved and happier?  Happiness begets good health.  We benefit from doing things that bring more happiness to our lives.  What about managing stress?  Letting things beyond your control make you upset by activating the adrenalin/cortisol fight/flight/bite response is unhealthy and very fattening.  I can't forget to mention one of the most important self-care pursuits of all--shifting the mindset.  This happens all the time, everywhere.  We have to talk ourselves down from unhelpful thoughts and retrain the focus to what is helpful.  This job will never be done because you never know when something might happen to thwart your positivity.

All this is to say that no matter what day of the week, month or year, you deserve the very best you can get for your precious life.  If you are finding yourself at a turnaround moment, then do just that--turn yourself around and realize you can begin again.  This is one of life's best lessons for the adult in all of us.  Celebrate that!

The Cold, Sharp Knife Edge of Accountability

There is so much advice at your fingertips on how to become your best self, lose those unwanted pounds, stop stressing and start living, get your career into high gear, etc.  Some of this information might even be helpful, but only if you are willing to hold yourself accountable to the advice.  Therein lies the rub.

As adults, there is no one who can make us accountable to ourselves except ourselves.  No one will make us eat our veggies or go to the gym or make our bed.  These things can easily go undone.  It doesn't make us happy or healthy to just "let loose" and do whatever we feel like and skip whatever we don't.  That makes us self indulgent and maybe even lazy.

No matter what your intention--painting a bathroom, cleaning out clutter, organizing your finances, making health and wellness appointments, losing weight or making peace with your past--if you don't make yourself do these things, they never happen.  Days run into weeks, and weeks run into months, and nothing moves forward.  The guilt and frustration of "not showing up" might become your new normal.

NOT OK!  It is not ok to let yourself go and slide into the least interested, least functioning, least engaged version of yourself.  This is not a mental health day I am referring to--this is a wholesale giving up on yourself. 

Yes, it is effort to show up for yourself and your life and follow through, but then come the rewards of keeping your word--to yourself--of practicing self care--of being the person you wish to be.  That's accountability.  Maybe that knife edge I referred to is actually helping you stand up a little straighter and show up a little stronger. 

Why Is It So Hard to Stay Positive?

Most of us naturally are attracted to positive people, just as most of us are repelled by negative people.  It's our human inclination to move towards what feels good and flee from what feels unpleasant.  Unfortunately, we are hard-wired, in our brains, in our DNA, to go to the negative, or the dark side as I like to call it.  Our ancient ancestors survived, literally, survived not getting killed by a predator by anticipating bad things and being ready to flee, fight or bite.  Shift to now and notice that pathway in the brain is well trampled.  When one thing goes wrong, we quickly expect another thing to go wrong.  Our world view is then affirmed--bad things are always happening, and then we stay in that negative, cortisol-filled and adrenalin-fueled place.

The brain work of today is different.  We do not need to anticipate a predator coming to eat us.  We do not benefit from activating the flight/fight/bite response in our bodies.  It doesn't make us happy or healthy.  Instead, we benefit from intentionally fixating our mind on the positive.  We feel better when we do, and we become happier because we don't perceive the world as a threat.  Happier means healthier.  Yes, this is true, happier people who focus on being positive instead of dwelling on being negative are healthier. 

There are so many ways to practice being more positive.  One is to notice nature.  Nature makes us feel better because it is our native habitat.  When we notice colors, smells, sights, sounds, textures in the sky, in fields, in gardens, we feel connected to something bigger than ourselves.  When we take time to slow down and not anticipate a problem, we can be present in the moment and reduce stress.  Whew--no fleeing, fighting or biting.  Instead, we activate the "rest and digest" response in the body.
Even focusing on taking a few deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the nose or mouth can ground us to the moment, flip that rest/digest switch and help us feel better and more hopeful--which is positive.

Does this mean that bad things aren't happening?  No.  Bad things are happening.  Tragic things might even be happening.  But, so are good things.  All of them--all the time--at the same time.

This week, focus your mind on what you want more of, on the goodness, the light, the happiness and see what happens.  It just might make you very modern, very current, very much in the present and of course, happier and healthier. 

Plan for Parties, Picnics, Summer Fun

In Minnesota, the three months of summer whiz by way too quickly.  Each weekend is usually packed with ideas on how to expand the joy outside.  This includes trips "up north" to the lake, staycation weekends, leaving work earlier on Fridays as well as the usual summer celebrations like graduations, showers, weddings, picnics and parties.  We really try to make the most of it, because, after all, we know the other side (six months or more of winter). 

While summer brings the farmers' markets and more fresh, affordable, juicy fruit and veggie options plus more physical activity, that is not nearly enough to offset the extra calories that come with all the extra social occasions that pop up.

We have to have a plan to make this summer go well and still enjoy the fun without overdoing the points.  For starters, when possible, eat as well as you can when you are at home.  Make your meals by taking a short-cut from the grocery store, the salad bar and deli.  Bring fruit and cut up veggies for snacks whenever you go out.  They are hydrating and easy.  Bring lunch to work so that you can avoid running around for extra dollars and calories.  You need to save yourself for bigger treats when you are socializing on your own leisure time.  If possible, when you go to a party, bring your own food to add to the grill or a healthy green salad that you can fill up on--and even a big watermelon. 

These are a few tips I have for making the summer splurges more manageable.  The whole point of this is to have fun and enjoy.  It will be NO fun and NO enjoyment if you spend the summer getting squeezed out of your shorts and feeling uncomfortable or frustrated. Make time to take care of yourself so that you are planning to succeed at parties, picnics all summer long.  That's a win win in the sunshine.

Add Up Your Grateful Moments to be Happier

Last week when I was at my YogaFit Mind Body Conference, I attended a two-day certification about the Psychology of Positivity.  A lot of what I learned I have written about before.  A few things did make me curious.  Firtstly, when people choose to be positive and focus on the good instead of the bad, they actually become healthier. This makes sense to me because this means we are resilient, i.e. we can handle the bows and arrows that life slings without getting hurt.  We can rebound from setbacks.  We do not become embroiled in dark thoughts and the stress that creates.  Stress makes us crave junk food, retain belly fat, sleep poorly, etc.  It also impacts the immune system so that we get sick more easily.

On the other hand, when we train our mind--which we are all capable of--to focus on the good things that are abounding, we create a new pathway in our brain that starts to naturally look for more positive things.  When we go a step further and not only observe the positive things but actually tally the things we are grateful for, we deepen this groove in the brain and amplify the good feelings in the body.  We then naturally expect more good things to come along.  We can let go of life's minor setbacks because we see them as bumps in the road not sink holes.

The other thing I heard in my training was that life is messy, so much so that we should expect it to be messy and let go of the unrealistic expectations that life should be smooth sailing.  This is especially important in weight loss pursuits.  The path to a healthy weight loss and weight maintenance is full of plenty of jagged edges, frustrations, setbacks and recoveries (resilience).  It's just like life.  This means that when "bad" things happen--we can say "oh well," and acknowledge what it is--but not dwell on it--and then let it go.  No one's life is all good all the time OR all bad all the time.  Just like feelings which are always shifting, so too are our circumstances.

This week, to increase your happiness and positivity and good health, consider identifying three good things that you are grateful for.  You might write them in a notebook.  You might remember them and share them.  You might relive the good feelings that come with identifying these things.  This is the brain work we do to help us pursue our goals more easily.  When we are happier, we want more for ourselves.  We expect more for ourselves.   We keep going. 

Work Your NO Muscles

When it comes to weight loss, there is so much that we say NO to.  It can get tiresome, but the truth is that the more we are exposed to our triggers and master them, the more control we actually have. 

Of course, we don't have to say NO all the time.  This is real life; we don't want to say NO all the time.  We do, however, have to say NO to the foods and drinks that don't matter as much any more.  For example, what about "found food" --those items that you didn't buy or bring--but show up anyway.  We do say NO to things that we don't like enough to say YES to.  And, we do say NO to certain things because we simply want something else far more worthy that's coming up later. 

Strengthening your NO muscles is critical to success.  We need to prove to ourselves that we can resist and survive and go even further--we can thrive because we are creating a life whereby we get more of what really matters.  We aren't missing out.

What about the other KNOW muscle--the one where you KNOW certain things about yourself?  This KNOW muscle can be flexed and strengthened as well.  Each and every time you catch yourself doing the right thing, thinking smart, planning ahead, packing snacks for work, pre-tracking your food, you are flexing your KNOW muscle. 

You have two hands and two arms and two legs.  Let's imagine that one side of your body--let's say the right side (the yang side which is the doing side) is the NO side.  The right side of you doesn't sample or pick up found food or go back for second helpings.  Picture those muscles on that side getting stronger (and burning fat) simply by saying NO.   Imagine the left side of your body (the yin side which is the receiving side, the relaxing side) is the KNOW side.  Think of all the brain power you have working in your favor.  Every time you are mindful and intentional and aware of what  you are choosing, you are getting stronger.

All work and no fun is NOT going to work.  We aren't even going to try.  Some work, some of the time, to get the rewards you really want--with practice and progress that's something to say YES to.  That will work!

Show UP For Yourself

When it comes to creating and maintaining a healthy lifestyle, I often say that some effort is better than no effort.  Some walking is better than no walking.  A brief moment to yourself in the course of a busy day is better than taking no time for yourself.  This is especially important to reinforce when times get tough, and it is only the tiniest of effort that you have left to give.

When it appears that we can't possibly face another challenge or deal with another problem, or even worse--simply keep doing the same thing day in and day out, we benefit from remembering we are worth the effort.  Taking a deep breath and remembering that showing up for yourself is everything.  It isn't always pretty, but it is very normal. 

We showed up for our lives as kids because our parents made us.  They set up our days for us to keep going.  As adults, we have options and credit cards.  We can opt out of doing the right thing because we don't feel like it.  Unfortunately, that's not helpful and leaves us more discouraged.

Every day is different because the present only happens in the moment.  The past is over.  Let that go.  It was yesterday.  The future is not here yet.  Let that go as well, that's tomorrow and thereafter.  The only constant in this mix is you.  What do you want for today?  That's the question to ask no matter what the weather, your job, your people, your struggles, your contentment, your pets, may present to you.   You are always at the center of your life.  And for that reason, you are worth grand gestures and tiny efforts and everything in between. 

Every day, ask yourself how you'd like to show UP... and then do it.  And let it be enough.

Challenge Your Thinking

What are your thoughts like?  Do you notice when your mindset is fixed in darkness or negativity?  Can you tell when you might benefit from checking your thoughts and noticing whether they are based in reality and are helpful or not? 

It takes a lot of focus to steel yourself away from negative thoughts and replace those thoughts with a healthy perspective.  Doing so however, will help foster a growth mindset, i.e. a mindset that helps you see possibilities in your life instead of defeat.  Some call this resilience.

By focusing on a growth mindset, we dismiss unhelpful thinking and can free ourselves to find solutions to problems.  We are free to create a new reality instead of falling into the same old patterns of frustration and self doubt.

So many thoughts rush in and out of our heads all day (and night) long.  It takes slowing down and being mindful (oh, yeah--that again) to realize the quality of our thoughts.  It takes wisdom to objectively evaluate those thoughts and observe whether they are fixed in absolutes (always/never) OR whether it's possible to shift the mindset to being more open and positive.  It will feel different, in a good way, and it will enable us to move forward instead of staying stuck in old patterns.

No matter how young or old, we can all benefit from challenging negativity with positivity.  Let no one--including yourself, stand in the way of your progress and potential.  See where it might take you. 

Protein is a Powerhouse

When you are physically hungry--protein is the answer to the problem.  Protein delivers because it is digested slowly, which means that you feel fuller longer.  Eating a healthy protein with every meal and maybe even every snack is a great way to go for weight loss, muscle tear repair that occurs from heavy exercise and for overall good health. 

Protein is considered a major food group along with:  fruits and veggies; whole grains; dairy or dairy substitutes; and healthy fats.  Some say that the magic combination of foods to solve a hunger problem AND get satisfied comes from a protein, a healthy carbohydrate and a healthy fat.  That might look like a peanut butter sandwich on wheat bread with apple slices or sliced turkey in a whole wheat wrap with avocado. 

Protein is fuel for the body.  The grocery shelves are full of an enormous variety of bars, powders, drinks, yogurts, shakes, meal replacements, etc.  If these products include added sugar, they are not  the best option for weight loss purposes.

This week, consider how satisfying your meals and snacks are.  Do you feel you are getting enough protein so that hunger goes away, for at least three hours?  Do you need to add more protein to your intake?  From animals to fish to vegan options like beans, lentils and tofu, there is something for everyone to enjoy.  Explore something new and see what it does for you.  You have nothing to lose but hunger.

Emotional Eating

Emotional eating starts early in life, i.e. with moms nursing babies. Food as love.  It continues with all the food as reward messages we get about "being good" and getting dessert or getting hurt and having a cookie to "make it feel better."  The problem is that no amount of eating will ever be adequate enough when it comes to coping with emotions. 

From the saddest and most tragic feelings to the most blissful and everything in between, as human beings we are capable of feeling anything at any time, for no apparent reason.  In fact, we can feel the way we do, just because we do.  Another truth is that emotions don't stay in the same position at the same intensity forever.  Things shift.  They shift with perspective, with time, with talking it out, with maturity, with more understanding, with better weather. 

Pretending isn't the solution when it comes to dealing with life's ups and downs and all that comes with them.  Pretending is denial, and that can be fattening just as much as getting carried away at a party and overeating or drinking too many beverages.

As adults, it is part of our healthy development to deal with what comes our way, at work, at home, in our communities.  It is also part of our healthy development to rewrite our story about how we handle our personal feelings.  For starters, because we have feelings, we are entitled to them--and they don't have to make sense to the logical brain.  That's it.  We can feel sad if we do even if everyone else is feeling happy.  We can also feel "meh" for no apparent reason and not want to go to happy hour.  We can feel elated when our children go away, and we have an empty nest.  We don't have to share our feelings with untrustworthy people.  Naysayers and deniers who say things like "you shouldn't feel that way" or "that's not the worst thing" or "you have nothing to be upset about" are not safe to talk to about something so touchy.

Since we are on the weight loss and weight maintenance healthy path, one thing is certain--eating our feelings will never solve our problems or help with weight.  Feelings don't taste good anyway.   

This week, find ways to get busy with people, places and activities that make you feel good about yourself.  Boost your self esteem and self awareness.  Discover ways to manage uncomfortable feelings like taking a walk, listening to a podcast or taking deep breaths.  At the very least, get away from the temptation of snacking.

Food is fuel for the body.  Emotions are barometers on the heart.  Be kind to yourself and take a moment to notice the difference.  

The Wagon Is Always Waiting

As we work on weight loss and self improvement, we realize that ups and downs are part of the process.  Just like life, there are good moments and not so good moments and everything in between.  It's so easy to get frustrated when we realize we "fell of the wagon."  Let's consider how normal this is, and then appreciate the fact that we can just hop back on.  It's just that simple.  Another way to consider this metaphor is to remember that the wagon doesn't stop, just like time, it keeps moving.  So, with a bit of momentum and a leap of faith, we can always, always jump back on.

This is a mindset shift that we come to appreciate the longer we pursue our worthy personal goals.  Consider how many great people in history, on your family tree, have talked about "never giving up."  It's a thread in almost every motivational speech.  It colors the background of inventions and discoveries.  It's simply part of our lives.  So, why not accept it and put your energy where it belongs--in the present moment.  Because we can't unfall off the wagon, we move forward.  The more we learn from our experiences, the faster we can jump back in and get back on track.

Progress isn't always pretty, and it certainly is not linear.  We have a lot going on with family, careers, taking care of our health, pets, homes, etc.  It's a lot.  Our attention is scattered, and we simply can't expect to give 100% to every area of our life 100% of the time.  This week, consider an area of your life that you'd like to make better.  If it's as simple as cleaning out winter jackets and putting them away or more demanding like planning a grocery list and meals for the week, give yourself the time to pay attention and just do it.  See how it makes you feel.  It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to move your intention forward.  That's something you can do.  Your life is worth it.

Is It Worth It

With over 200 choices to make on a daily basis regarding food, we are treated with choices nonstop from the time we get up to the time we go to bed.  Not all of those choices are mindful ones, which is one of the biggest reasons we gain weight.  However, when we are working at weight loss and maintenance, we know that we have to be smarter than that.  We have to consider what we really like--and either make room it for it by planning for it, or just avoid it, which may not be feasible in the long run--because that's "all or nothing" thinking. 

One thing I've noticed in the past sixteen years of living a healthy lifestyle, some treats I used to love are not worth it to me anymore.  That feels like a big win.  However, there are other foods that are still just as tempting as they ever were.  I'm thinking of chocolate.  I don't want to live in the world of no chocolate, but I can't have it readily available, or else I will be too tempted to eat too much.  On the other hand, I can find those controlled settings where I an able to enjoy a "right sized" portion.  If I have room for it in my day, then I go for it, but if I don't, I try to exercise my delayed gratification muscle and resist the urge, knowing I can have it another time.  Realistic thinking that I can live with.

Of course, we are human, and the best laid plans don't always come to pass.  In those situations, when I eat a high-point, high calorie treat that I don't have room for and that I regret, I feel bad.  Negative self talk starts up.  Questions about why I didn't just pass this by...why wasn't I strong enough..I knew better ahead of time...etc.  This erodes self esteem.  We cannot afford to have our very own choices erode our self esteem.  We aren't bad people if we eat a bag of jelly beans, but we are people who really don't want to be doing that.

There is hope.  The hope is that we get better at this.  We fill up most of the time on healthy foods so that we are full, happily satisfied and nourished by the food groups.  That will leave us some room for treats that we still care about.  This is balance.  This is healthy.  This is livable. 

With a springtime holiday weekend ahead--Easter and Passover, there will be lots of treats and special meals.  Find yourself choosing what you really love and make sure it is worth it.  Because you are worth it. 

Your Body Has a Relaxation Switch: Turn it On

Your body has a relaxation switch that you can literally turn on, at will, to help you calm down and focus on being in the present moment, fully aware of your senses. This switch is invisible and all powerful, like the wind.  This switch is your inhalation breath through the nose.  It is the very first thing you do when you are born and the very last thing you do when....you move on to happy acres.  As an infant, you were very skilled at taking long inhalations and "big belly" breaths.  As you watched your parents and caregivers breathe more shallowly, you started doing it too.  It's a shame for every one of us.  Because, the all powerful inhalation breath through the nose engages the parasympathetic nervous system in your body that says:  RELAX! . RELax.  Really just relax....

The good news is that we can enhance our deep breathing skills by practicing.  Long inhalations through the nose and long exhalations through the nose are for toning the breath.  If you are purging the breath, the exhalation is through the mouth.  As in a deep sigh that says--I am done here.

When I teach yoga, I start every class with a guided meditation breath work.  This creates a transition from the crazy monkey mind that keeps attaching, drawing conclusions, making observations and judging.  It sets the stage for mindfulness (be here, now) in the yoga class.  We don't need to be in yoga class to practice this, however.  We can use the power of the invisible breath to calm us down anywhere at any time.  To be mindful means to be present with your awareness of body, mind and spirit so that you can enjoy the moment as it unfolds.  It helps to reduce stress from rehashing the past or getting anxious over the future.  You do not live in the past or the future.  You live where your body lives--in the present moment always.

There are lots of ways to practice mindfulness.  Tap into your senses.  What do you see, feel, smell, taste and touch right now?  Where are you--notice the temperature, the nature, the clouds, the grass.  How are you feeling in your body, your bones, your muscles?  You can practice mindful eating.  What colors are on my plate?  Where did this food come from anyway?  Who made it?  Who grew it?  What does it smell like?  What does it taste like?  How slowly can I eat this?  How long does it take for this one tiny bite of pineapple to leave my taste buds?

We are hearing so much about mindfulness because our attention is SO scattered, i.e. not mindful or present due to technology and pings and texts and social media.  We are NOT living in the present if we scatter our energy and attention by multitasking and technology.  It makes us sad and frustrated, which means it is not good for our health.

Mindfulness creates calm and intention.  This week. slow down.  Breathe deeply in through the nose and take long exhales out through the nose.  Maybe place your hands on your belly and notice it puffing up as your diaphragm pulls down.  Your internal organs are getting a mini massage--which makes them happy.  Your entire body is flooded with signals that say, calm down and be here now. 

Habits Work

Good habits that are triggered by cues get us to follow through on behaviors we want to have accomplished.  They produce results which are actually rewards.  For example, when I see my gym bag packed by the door, I am reminded that I am going to my gym today.  That reminds me to fill my water bottle and plan a healthy snack so I can actually make it through my workout.  My reward is the good feeling in my body, the calories burned, seeing my activity buddies as well as improved self esteem and body confidence.  That's a whole lot of rewards.  One good thing set me up to do more good things, as if the dominoes dropped in front me in an effortless way.

The opposite can also be true.  One "not so good" habit like watching tv after dinner to unwind can be all the trigger we need to let the evening unravel.  The snacks come out, the feelings of low energy take over.  The commercials remind us to eat more snacks.  Where's the reward anyway?  If there is more regret than reward, then that's a habit that is not helpful.

The first time we try a new habit, it can feel like an enormous effort.  It might not feel comfortable.  However, when we realize we can break free from our comfort zone, we are treated with a glimpse into our future, as in the future when we get rewarded for our good habits.  Performed over and over, time and time again, those habits become a lifestyle. 

Whether it's drinking more water, setting up a good night time routine or limiting screen time, we all have areas for improvement and opportunities to do so.  Think about something you'd like to change.  Think about a feeling you'd like to have.  Think about the things you regret because you just don't hold yourself accountable to the task.  Now, think about the rewards you will experience having accomplished those things.  Think about the feelings and the pride among other benefits.  Pick one habit to work on this week and see what it might do for you. 

Keep Your Tribe Close By

I developed a workshop for the WW Cruise called "Keep Your Tribe Close By."  It is a forty-five minute discussion at the end of seven days of heaven at sea, where we gather to discuss the highlights and aha moments of the cruise experience and brainstorm ways to keep the learnings, practices,  mindfulness and commitment going even after returning home to "real life."  

One of the most surprising things I ever heard when doing this workshop came from a person who shared that she never belonged to a tribe before.  She was amazed that among 600 fellow WW members, she finally felt a part of things.  This speaks to how powerful being connected to people who care about what you care about and who understand what you are experiencing can be.  No man or woman is an island.  We all need other people to help us along, to cheer us up in bad times and cheer us on in good times. This is why I talk about weight loss being a group effort.  We all need each other, the collective experience to see ourselves and make sense of the journey.  

When it comes to fitness, this can be even more important.  Many of us need that special someone--whether it is a trainer or a scheduled class of people or a buddy in order to commit to doing it.  Not only is it more fun with other people, it feels less like a "have to" item on the agenda and a whole lot more like play.  As adults, we still need our play time.  We need time to let the mind and all of its trappings quiet down.  We need to get the body moving because we sit too long due to technology.  We need to fill up our hearts with activities that make us feel happy, accomplished and might even improve our body image and self esteem.  

This week, make that effort to be a little more physically active than last week.  With spring in the air, it can be done.  The season of new growth is upon us, and it is time to get out and enjoy it.  Make it fun, make it a date with a friend or a class, and make it happen.  Your body and mind will thank you.

Don't Believe Everything You Think

I saw a great bumper sticker a few weeks ago that said "don't believe everything you think."  It made me chuckle at the time, because it is so true.  So many of the thoughts roaming and racing through our heads are not based in reality.  Some are ruminations over the past.  Some are anxieties and worries about the future.  Neither of these is helpful.

My coach friend, Jennifer, reminded me that it takes three good thoughts to undo the damage of one negative thought.  That is a lot of wasted time getting rid of the bad to make room for the good--which is what is required to keep going.  However, this is exactly the work we must do to live in the present moment and to make sense of our own unique circumstances, which happen to be constantly shifting.

The advice is simple--check your thoughts.  Ask yourself the question--is this about a past that you can do nothing about?  Is this about attaching to a future that is beyond your control?  And the clincher question--is this a helpful thought?  Body shaming, self criticism, hanging on to things that are beyond your control, attaching to negative feelings are NOT helpful thoughts.  They will make us feel defeated, helpless and maybe hopeless.  It doesn't have to be this way.

Check in with yourself frequently throughout the day, especially when you find yourself frustrated or challenged.  Take a deep breath and ask yourself if what you are thinking is helpful or not.  If you aren't sure, then ask yourself if I would encourage you to continue with these thoughts.  If not, it is time to replace your negative thoughts with something positive--like something I might say to you.

It takes practice to keep checking in with yourself.  It is a choice, though that can help you stay grounded in reality and live in the present moment.  It is a choice to stay positive more often than negative.  It is a choice to choose progress over perfection.  It is a choice to say--if I think better of myself and my circumstances, I will feel better.  If I feel better, I will do better.
That's worth every bit of positive self talk.  Because you are worth the effort.  This is your one and only life, so it has to be the one you create for yourself, that meets your high standards.  That is the most helpful thought of all.

Dreams or Goals

Some people say that dreams are goals with deadlines.  Deadlines are timely.  There is built in pressure to complete something by a certain date.  That pressure is part of what makes the achievement happen in the first place.  But timeliness is not enough.  Being specific about what it is you want, being realistic about it, knowing that you can measure your success and achieve it are also part of the equation.

Everyone can dream of something great--of some place fabulous--of some experience or achievement.  The path to happiness, however, comes from within.  It comes from aligning your dreams with what is in your heart.  It is the part of you that is pure and completely honest.  That's the starting point, because dreams that are worth pursuing come from what makes you uniquely yourself.  Lead with the heart.

Thinking about this dream comes from the work of the mind. Get smart. Consider what it takes, to lose 10 pounds for example or run a 5K or fit into a pair of jeans.  Then walk back the small, actionable steps that you must do in order for that dream to come to life.  The small steps are your work, day in and day out.  They are not necessarily the funnest part of bringing your dream to life, but they aren't the worst either.  Govern with the mind.

Let's also think about bringing the body into the picture.  You have one, so you need to use it for good.  What can your body actually do to be a part of this dream coming to life?  You have to listen to it, because if you are sick or injured or recovering from surgery, your body is in a state of healing.  Preparing for a 5K is not going to happen at a time like that.  There are other messages your body gives you through fatigue, pain, weakness or soreness.  If you are listening to these messages, you can align your goals with your dreams and be more realistic.  Listen to the body.

Dreaming big might be fun, but without a good plan to back up those dreams, they probably won't happen.  Dreams actually take time, effort and energy, i.e. work with your smart brain and your physical body to come alive.  This week, give yourself the time to chart the course to make one of your dreams come to life.  Tell someone about it.  Write down the steps.  Put deadlines and reminders on your phone.  Show up for yourself and see what happens.  It just might be a dream come true--all because of you. 

Pay Attention to What Your Body is Saying

There are lots of ways to manage hunger.  One of the best is getting ahead of it and feeding your body at regular intervals, quite like you'd feed a baby or a diabetic.  Predictable, regular meal times and snack times make the body function better.  This applies to waking and sleeping too.

There are many reasons why this is so effective.  For starters, we love to eat, so it is nice to know we have meals and snacks to look forward to.  We benefit from eating approximately every three hours.  After three hours, the internal hunger becomes so primal that it is hard to manage. 

Internal hunger versus external hunger is an important distinction to make.  Internal hunger comes from your insides.  You need protein, a healthy carbs and a healthy fat to satisfy this "problem."  Good, nutritious food is the answer when you are internally (physically) hungry.  Your stomach is growling.  Your energy is low.  Your mind is a little foggy.  You might even be getting a headache.

External hunger, on the other hand, is about opportunity.  It is coming from your surroundings.  It has nothing to do with physical hunger.  The big problem with external triggers is that if you are not managing your internal hunger, your external cues are going to lure you in and trap you.  We have a much better chance of resisting temptation when we are satisfying our internal hunger pangs.

My best recommendation is to plan on needing to eat.  Three meals a day plus snacks in between usually works for most people.  Some people like itty bitty snacks (like 10 or 20 almonds or a cheese stick).  Some people like more hearty fare especially late in the afternoon between lunch and dinner.  Energy is at an all time low, and there is still plenty of work to be done and daytime to activities to face.

I have to say that managing my hunger, having healthy snacks with me wherever I go has been a huge help in managing cravings.  Your body is looking for satisfaction from the foods groups--not the chocolate or french fry groups.  Your mind tells you that you want chocolate or french fries.  That's ok--but let it be because you choose it not because you were stimulated by a drive through. 

Plan on being successful by planning on needing to eat.  Yes, you can. 

Tough Times Call For Perseverance: SHIFT YOUR MINDSET

I am sitting in snowy Minnesota, on yet another morning of snow, so much snow that I have to shovel so that my 20 pound fur baby, Pippa, can go outside and do her duty, so to speak.  This has been an incredibly tiresome stretch for us, setting records for snowiest month--with yet more to come.  Kids are home from school AGAIN.  I have injured my lower back from all the shoveling.  I have been going to acupuncture, taking CBD and forgoing the rower at my gym and cannot shovel the rest of the season. 

It makes me think about what it takes, in my mind to make it through.  I return to the power of the mindset to shift my thoughts, then shift my feelings, and then shift my actions.  This is how I am doing it.  First, I notice that my mind is saying this weather stinks.  Second, I am going to "reality check" this thought.  Does it really stink?  Well, for me, yes it does because I have to drive in it.  But, for the cross country skiers it does not stink.  For people who love the look of falling snow and are home in a clean house, with fun people, and meals prepped and have a home gym and a lavender scented meditation room, NO, for them, it does not stink.  Third, I am going to ask myself if this is a helpful thought (to think that this weather stinks).  Well, even though this weather stinks for me (that is my reality)--it is not helpful to keep thinking this way.  It makes me feel bad, which then makes me wonder about eating something chocolatey to "feel better."  Wait--I am the wellness coach.  I am smarter than this.  Yes, that reality check is true.  Yes, that is a helpful thought.  That means I am moving onward!  That is the virtue of perseverance. 

Make no mistake about it.  It takes a lot to keep going when you want to give up, give in, go back to bed and not care.  The truth is, we do care.  We care a lot.  We care so much that we DO NOT ever GIVE UP.  NEVER EVER.  That's how worth it, worthwhile, worthy we are.  We cannot ever give up on ourselves.  That's all there is to it.

So, for me, today I am going to practice that "fake it til you make it" through the day messaging.  I say you might try it too!  Why?  You are worth it. 

Self Compassion is Healthy

Being kind to yourself is actually good for your health.  When you are positive and empathic, you feel better.  Feeling better is a big part of doing better.  On the other hand, beating yourself up and listening to your inner critic is damaging to your health because it makes you feel bad.  When you feel bad, you often do badly.  It really is that simple.

Sometimes, as adults we overthink these things, and we need reminding.  We need to remind ourselves that it is not ok to bully yourself.  If your child or friend came to you and told you how terrible they felt about themselves because of something they regret, you would not continue to gang up on them and go negative.  You would very likely give perspective and help them see the situation in another light.  You would do your best to help them overcome that situation so they could move on and even learn from it.

The next time you find yourself regretting a food choice or a behavior decision, take note.  Stop and ask yourself a few questions:  1) is this true--reality check?  2) is this something I would say to my best friend or child?   And then, commit to treating yourself with the kind, loving words of support and encouragement you would extend to others so you can move onward.

I know this is easier said than done.  I am no more perfect than anyone else, so I practice these skills myself.  If it helps to air out your own grievances or regrets about what is happening, then do it.  And then give yourself the room to forgive yourself and go on.

I so wish I felt the way I did one summer day, long ago at my grandparents' house.  I was about 5 or 6 years, and I climbed up the kitchen counter and opened the corner cabinet and turned the plastic lazy susan until the Baby Aspirin bottle came by.  Then I ate a bunch of those tiny orange aspirins like candy.  Next thing I know, I am at my Nanny and Poppy's house.  They just looked at me and loved me.  I don't know where my parents were; they obviously took me there.  I don't know where my four siblings were.  But, I do know that Nanny and Poppy looked at me like I was the best person in the world.  I felt so good.  I didn't feel like I was bad because I ate those aspirins.  I didn't get sick from them, but I knew I shouldn't do that again even though they tasted like tang.  I just felt like I was an important person and that things would be ok.  Fast forward to today, and I would give anything to go back to their ranch house and sit in their garden and feel that way.  I remind myself of how good they made me feel about me.  I remind myself that even if it doesn't seem like I "deserve" it, I can still get it.

This week, think of a time where you felt the LOVE.  Remember what that was like.  And turn it on yourself.  Why?  Because you are worth it.  That's self compassion.  To your health!

Life Without Limits Is Chaos

Life without limits is chaos.  No one likes chaos.  So, we have to take into consideration some limits so that we can function, coexist and thrive.  In so many areas of life, we accept this without question.  Stores post their hours.  We shop when they are open.  We do not break windows and go inside when they are closed to steal what we'd like.  That won't work.  We do not want to suffer the consequences of that destructive behavior.  We respect the limits.

Let's turn to our food choices, our sleeping time, our fitness routine.  These feel different than store hours, because it is up to us to decide where the limits should be.  We can change them from day to day depending on our circumstances.   Unlike store hours, our limits are not set in stone.  If I don't work out now, I might be able to do it later.  Yes, this is true.  If I don't want to go to bed now because I am watching Netflix, no one is going to come to my house and stop me.  The next day I might suffer fatigue and lack of focus because of lost sleep, but that's likely a minor consequence I can live with. 

When it comes to food choices, however, things can really fall apart without limits.  Most of us benefit from knowing what those limits should be to stay accountable.  Whether it is counting smartpoints, filling up on zero point foods, monitoring feelings of satiety, or managing portion sizes, these limits help us function better.  These limits help us manage hunger and keep us from overeating.  These limits can help us lose weight, maintain weight loss and promote mindfulness with our food choices and behaviors around food.  This reminds me of a comment I heard today from a member, who lost almost 100 pounds--food freedom.  Ironically, food limits actually promote food freedom.  When you know what you can eat and what you might restrict, you have freedom to make choices that work for you whether it is a planned treat or a healthy dinner or an robust late afternoon snack.  Freedom means you have the ability to decide, from moment to moment what will work. 

Sometimes just by shifting your mindset and rethinking what limits actually do for you , you realize how much freedom you have to live the life you really want. 

Humility as a Virtue

I have been thinking a lot about humility lately.  It is a virtue for starters.  I can honestly say that I appreciate being humbled by others--even when it doesn't feel good.  Last week, someone came up to me and constructively critiqued my work.  I wasn't expecting it; it did not come from my manager or even my coworkers.  It gave me pause and helped me think about myself and my performance.  Oh, to see ourselves as others do...

Then, the polar vortex came along and took Minnesota by frigid storm.  Schools closed; workplaces shuttered.  Everyone went indoors if they could, and I found myself thinking about how the weather itself humbles.  It started me thinking about my childhood hero, Laura Ingalls.  How did she do it?  How did anyone cope with the elements under duress?  Obviously, they had no choice and didn't know any different, but still.  This weather caused me to go inward with my thoughts and consider what really matters--safety first and survival.

And then, I started thinking about how self improvement with weight loss, fitness, personal growth all involve a large dose of humility among other key virtues like patience, strength, courage and faith to name a few.  We have to have courage to even begin something new or to go back to it over and over again.  We have to have faith that eventually our hard efforts will reap the rewards we are seeking.  We have to be strong in body, mind and spirit to simply persevere day in and day out.  And, we can be humbled at any step in the process.  Sometimes like the weather--there are forces far greater at work.  And for this, I am humbled yet again.

I brought up humility with my yoga students this week. On Tuesday--before the nastiest of all cold set in, I had a large group of yogis in barefoot on the mat as usual, keeping their routine going.  It was admirable.  The human spirit to persevere is daring and strong.

There will be a 90 degree temperature swing in Minnesota by this weekend.  Nature's reminder that anything can happen yet still life goes on, like it did for generations before us and generations to come.  This is the humility I am focusing on now. 

Body Positivity Through Exercise

One of the best ways to feel good about your body is to move it.  Research shows that people who exercise have a better body image and body confidence than people who don't.  That makes perfect sense because when we move the body we get out of the judging, observing, jumping monkey mind.  Getting the blood pumping and increasing the oxygen feels good.  If there is a specific workout or class to participate in, then simply completely the class fuels us with accomplishment alongside all of those endorphins.  Reminding ourselves how good it feels to accomplish something like a workout is all it takes to go back for more.

Nowadays there are so many versions of activity, fitness or exercise.  Everything from classic group fitness classes in a club setting to getting steps in around the house--it all counts because it all adds up.  These activities can be done with others or privately.  There are endless options online with youtube and apps.  Who would have thought that spin class could actually be done at home on the peloton bike?  That brainchild came from a new dad who wanted to go to spin class but was at home with a newborn.  He's biking all the way to the bank.

Physical exercise that you enjoy can be a hobby like tennis or pickleball or zumba class.  It can also be a social outlet.  Or, at the other extreme, it can be a solitary activity creating a break from people and their issues.  No matter how you view it, physical activity is required to be a whole and healthy person.  You have a body.  The body wants to move.  Don't let the mind talk your body out of doing something good even if you are tired.  That's the irony.  Even if you are tired, a little bit of energetic movement will actually create more energy.  It's counterintuitive, but it's true. 

You are not your body, but it matters.  Treating it right with healthy food is key.  Most weight loss comes from food choices.  But up to 20% of weight loss can come from exercise.  That's a boost for the body and the mind and the body confidence. 

Your mind is stronger than your body, so this week, let your mind talk you into doing something healthy for your body.  See what it does for you.  See how it makes you feel.  Just do something more than you have lately so you can feel positive, confident and capable. 

Because you are!