No Judging--Slip Ups are Part of Progress

One of the hardest life lessons is to learn from your "mistakes" and then move on.  So much gets in the way, starting with that little voice in your head that says "you can't do this..."  Negative self talk, criticism, judging and fear are but a few of the stumbling blocks that keep us from propelling ourselves forward.  

We often let unhelpful "tapes" keep playing in our heads when a momentary setback occurs.  Those unhelpful tapes make it harder not easier to move on.  Some say that evolution is to blame. Expecting something bad to happen was part of survival.  It meant that you had to be in a heightened state of awareness so that you could protect yourself from attackers.  We need to resist that urge to go negative by reinforcing the positive.  By doing so, we are gently embracing the good that we anticipate.  We gather the courage to keep going even though we were temporarily off track.

To complicate matters, oftentimes, our expectations are unrealistic when lifestyle change is at hand. We think that because we decided to "get healthy" that we will be as enthusiastic and driven as we were the day we began the life changing journey.  Not so.  The path to success is full of pock marks, stop signs and rerouting. That's normal, and it is to be expected.  By expecting momentary setbacks, we can get better at recognizing them for what they are, i.e. temporary and not the end of the road.

Another unhelpful tape that often plays when we are frustrated is one of judgment.  "I'm not good at this... I can't do this...  I should just give up...  This is going to kill me..."  None of this is helping. It is also setting your sights too low.  Things might not be going well for the moment, but that has nothing to do with how things might go once you regroup and move on.  Maybe the plan you had in place was too restrictive.  Maybe the exercise schedule you put in place was too demanding.  Maybe life got in the way of your good intentions.  Whatever the reason, the behavior change is the same.  Move forward.  No judging.    

We can often treat others better than we treat ourselves.  If a friend who was having a hard time losing weight or engaging in an exercise routine, and was falling apart, we wouldn't berate them and tell them that they will always be a failure.  Hopefully, we would listen to them, encourage them and do our best to talk them out of quitting on themselves.  If we can do it for others, we need to do it for ourselves as well.

Your life is made up of what you CAN do, not what you cannot do.  Your life is made up of the experiences you choose to have not the ones you try to avoid.  Yes, the dark side is always there, but that's not the focus and not the greater part of who you are today or who you wish to become tomorrow and the next day after.  

Time Your Eating Success at Regular Intervals

Progress is not a linear pursuit.  We take one step forward and sometimes two steps back.  No matter what however, we keep going.  One of the best ways to make sure we can keep going is to manage expectations, set small realistic goals, celebrate milestones and then take a moment to take stock before moving along to the next thing.  This works with managing the day's meals, the week at work, a vacation, or a major project at home.  We are human.  We can only handle so much at a time.  By being realistic and giving ourselves mini breaks, we can actually go further than if we tried to do too much too soon.

This philosophy works with eating as well.  By planning healthy meals and snacks that we can look forward to, we can plan our nutrition and enjoyment to match the rigors or pleasures of the day.  For example, if you are going to be outside digging up the yard, clearing out winter debris for hours on end, a good breakfast of protein and carbs will go far in keeping you fueled for the heavy lifting.  A break with lots of hydration and maybe a piece of fruit and string cheese can keep you going until lunch time.

Meals and nutritious snacks are fuel to keep the body going, to keep the metabolism roaring and to keep us from getting too hungry.  Treats are different.  These are the foods and maybe beverages that we enjoy just because we do.  We don't need a reason.  It's not about physical hunger or thirst, but we want to have these pleasures because they too are part of our success, i.e. practicing how to manage the extras without going overboard.

Eating at regular intervals gives us pause to regroup.  It gives us stamina to keep going.  It gives us something to look forward to.  It satisfies our primal urge to chew.  We are never more than three hours away from something to eat.  What a relief!

Seasons Change and So Do You

Spring is coming up early by Minnesota standards.  With warmer temperatures and sunnier days and with the clocks moving forward one hour this weekend, a new season is coming up quickly.  It begs the question...are you ready?  Are you where you thought you'd be several months ago in the dead of winter when lots of people were making resolutions for 2016? 

Lifestyle changes are not resolutions.  They are goals, short-term and long-term, that define who it is we would like to be--they challenge us as we are changing and evolving.  Lifestyle changes are also a work of practice not perfection.  There are victories along the way and momentary stops in between. One thing is certain, however, time marches on whether we are actually making the changes we'd like or not.

This past week, I heard someone talk about being a "fake WW member."  She said that she attends meetings but doesn't really do the work of the program.  Her life is too overwhelming on all fronts to cope with anything.  I challenged her to do one thing, no matter how small, to focus on for the week. She didn't want to do that.  I kept pushing, and she named a behavior change but wasn't happy about it.  As it turns out, that one thing brought with it a raft of improvements.  Simply by starting where she was, an unhappy place and by answering the call to just start over, she did.  

Transformation doesn't come easily to most of us.  We have to ask things of ourselves that we haven't asked before.  We have to keep going even when we don't feel like it.  We have to be stronger than our strongest excuse (Kevynn).  But, it is precisely in those dark moments of discomfort and fear, that we become the change we were searching for all along.  

As March ushers in a new season, ask yourself if you are ready to make a change?  Are you where you want to be with the changes you have made?  Is there more for you?  And then, live your dream. One day at a time will turn into weeks at a time, months at a time, seasons at a time and years at a time.  Your dream come true.  Thanks to you.