When I teach my yoga classes, I always end by whispering an affirmation in everyone's ear during the final resting pose. Sometimes I say: "You are stronger than you know". As adults, we don't often get the positive messaging and propping up that we could use to keep going. We don't get those regular reminders that we often give to our children. We can change that.
For the purposes of self improvement, balance, wellness and weight loss, we need to rely on some of the things that make us great to begin with. The core strengths, characteristics, virtues and qualities that we possess can actually motivate us and prop us up as we work towards our personal goals. The better we feel, the better we do. The happier we are, the more we want to achieve greater happiness and fulfillment. It is a cycle that perpetuates itself. We can use that.
Some of the characteristics that we talked about this week include: perspective, gratitude, hope, love,
appreciation, forgiveness, honesty, leadership, kindness. These are the strengths that we use in our daily lives, at work, at home, with our families and friends. We can also use them to our advantage in our self improvement on our weight loss journey. We can tap into those strengths and apply them to the ups and downs and daily challenges of losing weight. For example, if someone is an honest person, that sense of honesty can be applied to tracking foods regularly, sticking to the fitness plan in place and following the basic guidelines of the program. By being honest with ourselves, we are holding ourselves accountable. Accountability goes a long way in creating lasting weight loss. Let's take another example, like forgiveness. Being a person who can forgive others means that we have to turn that forgiveness on ourselves and realize that when we don't follow the guidelines of the program, (alert: the program is riddled with opportunities for human error) we can forgive ourselves, learn from the experience and move on. Staying stuck is not an option because we are not going to play negative, self defeating tapes--another save. We need that.
It is in our DNA to move to the dark side. Our ancestors used this to their advantage. It was a survival technique when external forces could swoop in and threaten life. Most of us don't have that kind of desperation in our lives at this time in history. However, our DNA still thinks we do. We have to overcome that tendency to expect the worst and move towards the positive.
Over the weekend, I heard a Hurricane Katrina survivor talk about all the devastation he experienced with loss of home, job, health. Ten years later, he said: "Difficult does not mean impossible." Yes, it is true. In fact, you are stronger than you know.
Monday, August 31, 2015
Monday, August 24, 2015
SLIPS ARE NORMAL
Nobody is perfect. We know this on a cognitive level. For some reason, however, when it comes to weight loss pursuits, we forget that a less than perfect choice doesn't have to lead to more regret. Instead, a less than perfect choice, i.e. many of our choices, are just that--choices. Because we are never more than three hours away from eating, we can choose a better option when the next snack or meal comes around.
It sounds easy enough. However, many of our less than perfect choices don't come from a conscious, intentional, rational place. Many of these choices come from emotion, stress, fatigue, insecurity, procrastination, etc. We have about 200 choices to make every day about food. That's a lot of work to do. When we are fresh and full of energy, not fatigued from the work of the day or the people in our lives, we can make those smart picks. As the day wears on, the strain increases as does the decision fatigue. That's when these regretted choices jump up.
Take a step back and look at last week's eating. When were the times you'd like a "do over?" Where were the occasions where you couldn't seem to stick to your plan? What was going on? What could you try next time?
The important part of a slip is recognizing for what it is, containing it and moving forward quickly. Forgive yourself and move on. There is no point in dwelling on regret. Just make a plan to do something different next time. A quick dose of forgiveness doesn't imply that we are not holding ourselves accountable. In fact, we are holding ourselves accountable to the humanness in ourselves. We are not perfect, and our eating is not perfect, and it won't ever be. There is too much distraction involved. It can be better, though. Yours and mine. It can be more intentional. It can be more healthful. It can be more satisfying.
As a never-ending work in progress, it is up to each of us to face the day with all the intention, courage, patience, forgiveness and humility we can gather. It is up to us to make the most of whatever the day, the universe, the people we know have in mind. It is up to us to learn from our mistakes. It is up to us to keep going. One moment at a time. One choice at a time. One day at a time. It is up to us to create the best version of ourselves. That will promote a lifestyle of health, wellness, wellbeing. That will produce a payoff well worth the effort. We all have it in us. We have to keep going. We owe it to ourselves.
It sounds easy enough. However, many of our less than perfect choices don't come from a conscious, intentional, rational place. Many of these choices come from emotion, stress, fatigue, insecurity, procrastination, etc. We have about 200 choices to make every day about food. That's a lot of work to do. When we are fresh and full of energy, not fatigued from the work of the day or the people in our lives, we can make those smart picks. As the day wears on, the strain increases as does the decision fatigue. That's when these regretted choices jump up.
Take a step back and look at last week's eating. When were the times you'd like a "do over?" Where were the occasions where you couldn't seem to stick to your plan? What was going on? What could you try next time?
The important part of a slip is recognizing for what it is, containing it and moving forward quickly. Forgive yourself and move on. There is no point in dwelling on regret. Just make a plan to do something different next time. A quick dose of forgiveness doesn't imply that we are not holding ourselves accountable. In fact, we are holding ourselves accountable to the humanness in ourselves. We are not perfect, and our eating is not perfect, and it won't ever be. There is too much distraction involved. It can be better, though. Yours and mine. It can be more intentional. It can be more healthful. It can be more satisfying.
As a never-ending work in progress, it is up to each of us to face the day with all the intention, courage, patience, forgiveness and humility we can gather. It is up to us to make the most of whatever the day, the universe, the people we know have in mind. It is up to us to learn from our mistakes. It is up to us to keep going. One moment at a time. One choice at a time. One day at a time. It is up to us to create the best version of ourselves. That will promote a lifestyle of health, wellness, wellbeing. That will produce a payoff well worth the effort. We all have it in us. We have to keep going. We owe it to ourselves.
Sunday, August 16, 2015
Stop the Madness: Stop the Emotional Eating Roller Coaster
Too much birthday cake. Too many chips on the sofa after work and before dinner, in front of tv. Too many drinks at the annual holiday party. Too many trips to the candy dish at work on a stressful day. What do all these scenarios have in common? Too much food and drink in a moment when we get tangled in emotion instead of intention.
This is the common story of mindless eating vs. conscious eating. Everyone does it. Everyone is an emotional eater. In fact, we are all encouraged to respond to life's events with food and sometimes drink. From birthdays to funerals, food is attached to life's milestones. For many of us, food is also attached to normal, human emotions like frustration, boredom, upset, anxiety, depression and stress. There is nothing wrong with our feelings. Because we are human, we have feelings. However, in our society, certain feelings seem more acceptable than others. It's almost always ok to respond to: "How is it going?" with "Great!" It would be troubling for most people to hear: "Not at all good, undergoing exploratory stomach surgery, spouse lost job, baby has colic, and the police are on speed dial." This is part of the problem. When we do feel the darker side of our personality, not everyone is equipped to handle it, starting with ourselves. However, by accepting the fact that we are not going to live in a steady state of greatness, we can normalize these emotions and then respond to these emotions with positive intention as opposed to mindless reaction.
For weight loss and weight maintenance purposes, we need to recognize those situations from the past when eating became automatic, overindulgent and full of fat, carbs and sugar. What was it that came before the mindless eating? What were the circumstances that conspired? Who might have been involved? Was there a particular time of day or week that brought on the stress overload? By identifying those challenges from past experiences, we can prepare for the future. We can look at similar situations and recognize that we need something more than food or drinks to cope with feelings. We need some other non-food reward to help us in these critical moments.
I talk about the "ME TANK." It needs to be filled on a daily basis with the good stuff, the stuff that makes us happy about who we are. Exercise, meditation, reading, writing, being outside in nature, talking to friends, recognition, sharing experiences, planning social outings, taking a nap, tending to pets...these are some of the things we can use to fill the "ME TANK." If we don't fill it with the good stuff, we fill it with the junky stuff, and then we inevitably regret it. Topping off mindless eating with guilt produces shame and frustration. More emotion that brings on upset.
Let's avoid all of that. Let's start filling up the ME TANK with ME TIME. Let's make sure we set ourselves up to succeed by planning breaks. We deserve them. We are not robots. Let's plan on fun ME TIME so that work, family responsibilities, stress and worry don't trap us and keep us from living this precious life as the best version of ourselves. If the ME TIME is on the calendar, then the positive intention will magnify. Then handling our emotions more calmly will enter in. Then we can put food in its rightful place. Nutrition and fuel for the body 90% of the time. Pleasure, of course, 10% of the time.
I know we can all get better at this. We aren't giving up our emotions or feelings things deeply and sensitively. Not even close. What we are giving up is responding to emotion by overeating. That's a habit well worth breaking. In fact, the time is now to get started.
This is the common story of mindless eating vs. conscious eating. Everyone does it. Everyone is an emotional eater. In fact, we are all encouraged to respond to life's events with food and sometimes drink. From birthdays to funerals, food is attached to life's milestones. For many of us, food is also attached to normal, human emotions like frustration, boredom, upset, anxiety, depression and stress. There is nothing wrong with our feelings. Because we are human, we have feelings. However, in our society, certain feelings seem more acceptable than others. It's almost always ok to respond to: "How is it going?" with "Great!" It would be troubling for most people to hear: "Not at all good, undergoing exploratory stomach surgery, spouse lost job, baby has colic, and the police are on speed dial." This is part of the problem. When we do feel the darker side of our personality, not everyone is equipped to handle it, starting with ourselves. However, by accepting the fact that we are not going to live in a steady state of greatness, we can normalize these emotions and then respond to these emotions with positive intention as opposed to mindless reaction.
For weight loss and weight maintenance purposes, we need to recognize those situations from the past when eating became automatic, overindulgent and full of fat, carbs and sugar. What was it that came before the mindless eating? What were the circumstances that conspired? Who might have been involved? Was there a particular time of day or week that brought on the stress overload? By identifying those challenges from past experiences, we can prepare for the future. We can look at similar situations and recognize that we need something more than food or drinks to cope with feelings. We need some other non-food reward to help us in these critical moments.
I talk about the "ME TANK." It needs to be filled on a daily basis with the good stuff, the stuff that makes us happy about who we are. Exercise, meditation, reading, writing, being outside in nature, talking to friends, recognition, sharing experiences, planning social outings, taking a nap, tending to pets...these are some of the things we can use to fill the "ME TANK." If we don't fill it with the good stuff, we fill it with the junky stuff, and then we inevitably regret it. Topping off mindless eating with guilt produces shame and frustration. More emotion that brings on upset.
Let's avoid all of that. Let's start filling up the ME TANK with ME TIME. Let's make sure we set ourselves up to succeed by planning breaks. We deserve them. We are not robots. Let's plan on fun ME TIME so that work, family responsibilities, stress and worry don't trap us and keep us from living this precious life as the best version of ourselves. If the ME TIME is on the calendar, then the positive intention will magnify. Then handling our emotions more calmly will enter in. Then we can put food in its rightful place. Nutrition and fuel for the body 90% of the time. Pleasure, of course, 10% of the time.
I know we can all get better at this. We aren't giving up our emotions or feelings things deeply and sensitively. Not even close. What we are giving up is responding to emotion by overeating. That's a habit well worth breaking. In fact, the time is now to get started.
Thursday, August 6, 2015
The LONG HAUL
Wouldn't it be fun to think that we could come to Weight Watchers for a short period of time, reach the weight loss goal that we desire, find our body is able to maintain that goal weight forever and let that be enough for the rest of our lives? Unfortunately, in order to keep weight off for the long haul, we have to continue doing the things that created that healthy weight loss in the first place. The day in and day out work includes planning, tracking, measuring, attending meetings and recovering from setbacks. It doesn't look very sexy and doesn't always feel like a fantastic moment. However, it is the life long work that is required.
As Weight Watchers members who are looking to achieve weight loss, health, wellness, fitness, etc.--we start by making small changes that we can live with. Those small changes become habits over time, and those habits that feel so good we don't want to give them up--become our new healthy lifestyle. After a period of time, we choose to take a walk instead of hang out on the couch. We choose to make healthy meals in advance, because we feel so much better and in control. We start realizing that turning to food for comfort or in times of stress just doesn't work any longer. The healthy life is the good life, and it rewards us not just with a certain number on the scale, but with wellness that informs our family life, our work life, our social life.
There is a tendency to think that somehow we can reach a certain weight loss number through hard work and that we can return to previous behaviors. Ask anyone who has ever gained their weight back, they will tell you that the only way to keep the weight gone is to continue engaging in the same healthy behaviors that got the weight lost in the first place. In short, we are always Weight Watchers members who are either going to goal or maintaining a healthy goal or returning to goal after a setback.
As works in progress, now and forever, we can accept the fact that we are not perfect. There is no end point where we can sit back, relax and think that our Weight Watchers work is over. A healthy person is always investing in a healthy lifestyle to a greater or lesser extent. We are those people. We are those people who accept that the challenge before us is ours to face. We are those people who know that we can succeed if we keep choosing to succeed. We are those people who want so much more for our present and future than what we had in the past. In the end, we are those people who find ways to keep going, by breaking down the work one moment at a time.
I often tell members that if they left the meeting at their perfect goal weight, they will still have the same work in front of them as someone who joined WW that very day. The work is the same. Our acceptance that this is our choice and this is our work is what has changed. For the better.
As Weight Watchers members who are looking to achieve weight loss, health, wellness, fitness, etc.--we start by making small changes that we can live with. Those small changes become habits over time, and those habits that feel so good we don't want to give them up--become our new healthy lifestyle. After a period of time, we choose to take a walk instead of hang out on the couch. We choose to make healthy meals in advance, because we feel so much better and in control. We start realizing that turning to food for comfort or in times of stress just doesn't work any longer. The healthy life is the good life, and it rewards us not just with a certain number on the scale, but with wellness that informs our family life, our work life, our social life.
There is a tendency to think that somehow we can reach a certain weight loss number through hard work and that we can return to previous behaviors. Ask anyone who has ever gained their weight back, they will tell you that the only way to keep the weight gone is to continue engaging in the same healthy behaviors that got the weight lost in the first place. In short, we are always Weight Watchers members who are either going to goal or maintaining a healthy goal or returning to goal after a setback.
As works in progress, now and forever, we can accept the fact that we are not perfect. There is no end point where we can sit back, relax and think that our Weight Watchers work is over. A healthy person is always investing in a healthy lifestyle to a greater or lesser extent. We are those people. We are those people who accept that the challenge before us is ours to face. We are those people who know that we can succeed if we keep choosing to succeed. We are those people who want so much more for our present and future than what we had in the past. In the end, we are those people who find ways to keep going, by breaking down the work one moment at a time.
I often tell members that if they left the meeting at their perfect goal weight, they will still have the same work in front of them as someone who joined WW that very day. The work is the same. Our acceptance that this is our choice and this is our work is what has changed. For the better.
Monday, August 3, 2015
Body Image? Make it a Grateful One
We carry it around day in and day out. We walk it everywhere. We sit it anywhere. We sleep in it. We eat in it. We work in it. We play in it. Do we appreciate it? I am not so sure.
On the path to self improvement, we will always be looking for ways to stay motivated, positive and encouraged. One thing we can do to help us move along this path is to show love and appreciation for what our bodies can do instead of focusing on our body's shortcomings (or perceived shortcomings).
Judging and self criticism and perhaps some unwelcome comments we once heard about our body or appearance have not served us well. Furthermore, these negative tapes that we may be playing are very defeating and destructive, e.g. "I can't wear a bathing suit until....I can't wear light colors because they make me look fat....I can't go to the gym until I lose weight...I can't go to my reunion because I might be the biggest person there" and so on.
Instead, we need to tap into some perspective and be glad that our bodies can carry us from one moment to another--from one day in and one day out, There are a lot of people in this world who would trade bodies with you. This may be hard to believe, but it's true.
What we think and what we repeat, we believe. Then, we act on those beliefs for the good or not. This is why it is critically important play a positive tape that will motivate us to keep pursuing our goals as we become best version of ourselves. A work in progress always.
I was at a sprint triathlon (cheering on my friends) this weekend. I saw one athlete with a long scar down the middle of his chest from his two open heart surgeries. My daughter, Natalie, has the same scar from her open heart surgery. I saw another athlete with his appendix scar. Recently, on facebook, I saw a tiny African American baby girl with black hair and a small patch of white hair at her forehead. She is adorable, and I can only wonder what some kids might say to her as she grows up. Right now, she doesn't know she is any different from anyone else. She is darling. And guess what--she will still be darling even when she realizes that most people she knows don't have a birthmark like that. I can only hope that someday she will appreciate it because it makes her unique and interesting. Let's hope no negative tapes start playing that interfere with her confidence, self esteem and gratitude for what she's been given. It's hers after all. She's not getting a different hairline.
A little perspective can blend into gratitude. Gratitude can blend into contentedness. Contentedness can blend into our positive, healthy truth, our life story. The time is now to be sure we are creating a positive, healthy, transformative life story that really tells ourselves and the world who we are--greatness and all.
On the path to self improvement, we will always be looking for ways to stay motivated, positive and encouraged. One thing we can do to help us move along this path is to show love and appreciation for what our bodies can do instead of focusing on our body's shortcomings (or perceived shortcomings).
Judging and self criticism and perhaps some unwelcome comments we once heard about our body or appearance have not served us well. Furthermore, these negative tapes that we may be playing are very defeating and destructive, e.g. "I can't wear a bathing suit until....I can't wear light colors because they make me look fat....I can't go to the gym until I lose weight...I can't go to my reunion because I might be the biggest person there" and so on.
Instead, we need to tap into some perspective and be glad that our bodies can carry us from one moment to another--from one day in and one day out, There are a lot of people in this world who would trade bodies with you. This may be hard to believe, but it's true.
What we think and what we repeat, we believe. Then, we act on those beliefs for the good or not. This is why it is critically important play a positive tape that will motivate us to keep pursuing our goals as we become best version of ourselves. A work in progress always.
I was at a sprint triathlon (cheering on my friends) this weekend. I saw one athlete with a long scar down the middle of his chest from his two open heart surgeries. My daughter, Natalie, has the same scar from her open heart surgery. I saw another athlete with his appendix scar. Recently, on facebook, I saw a tiny African American baby girl with black hair and a small patch of white hair at her forehead. She is adorable, and I can only wonder what some kids might say to her as she grows up. Right now, she doesn't know she is any different from anyone else. She is darling. And guess what--she will still be darling even when she realizes that most people she knows don't have a birthmark like that. I can only hope that someday she will appreciate it because it makes her unique and interesting. Let's hope no negative tapes start playing that interfere with her confidence, self esteem and gratitude for what she's been given. It's hers after all. She's not getting a different hairline.
A little perspective can blend into gratitude. Gratitude can blend into contentedness. Contentedness can blend into our positive, healthy truth, our life story. The time is now to be sure we are creating a positive, healthy, transformative life story that really tells ourselves and the world who we are--greatness and all.
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