Being Present for What Is

I am hearing a lot of talk about kicking 2020 to the curb for obvious reasons. We want to be done with the hardship, loneliness, isolation and tragic loss that the pandemic has created.  That makes sense.  Avoid pain.  Seek pleasure.  It's primal.  However, "done" is relative and comes a little gradually.  The pandemic year (2020) will still be felt in 2021, even as I call 2021 "the year of the vaccine."  

It won't take much for a lot of us to see 2021 as being "better" than 2020.  We will be coming out of these modern day "dark ages."  However, by dwelling on getting "this" over with robs us from living in "this moment" which is what being mindful and non judgmental is all about.  Being mindful means we don't dwell on the past.  Other years had vacations and parties and travel.  This year had couches and Netflix and masks.  BOO. We also don't rush to anticipate the future which is not here yet.  As soon as I get the vaccine, I'm good to go.  YEAH!  Wait a second--it's not a switch that gets flipped.  This is a process.  Just like your long healthy life is a process not an event.

This year, like all years prior, I sent out Christmas cards.  This year, however, I asked people on Instagram if they wanted a card from me.  Some people said yes, and I happily sent them a card.  How old fashioned to get a card in the mail if you aren't used to it.  This year gave time and space for that to happen.  I saved those addresses of people I normally don't send to, and guess what--they are getting a card again next year.  Connection--look how much we crave it.  

With Christmas a few days away, I am encountering a lot of long faces and booing and hooing.  Yet, this is what it IS.  This holiday season cannot be anything other than what it is.  The same way YOU cannot be anyone other than who you are.  With that in mind, pause a moment and look at what you do have.  If it's your health, you WIN.  If it's a family of origin or choice, you WIN.  If it's a beloved pet, you WIN.  If it's comfort and security in your home, you WIN.  If it's a dream in your heart for others who have less, you WIN.  If it's gratitude for the moment, you WIN.  If it's a deep breath landing over your heart as your heart smiles back at you, you WIN.  If you notice these things, you WIN.  That's what this season IS.

You are at the Center of Your Life

In qi gong, yoga and regular old fitness at the gym, the instructor always says--it all starts from the center.  The code word for that nowadays is the core.  Just like an apple has a center--its core that started with its core--a seed--and without that seed, it would never develop into a round piece of fruit we'd recognize at the grocery store, we too have a core inside of us.  This is both physical and metaphorical.  When what is inside of us is firmly planted and nurtured, we have the power to grow into what we imagine.  Strengthening and protecting the core is significant because the world around us can be harsh.  We might get blown around by influences that interfere with our own value, standing and stability.

You get the metaphor. You are smart.  But, let's consider how often we might let something that interferes with our core values hinder us.  Consider that your times is a precious commodity as a core value.  You take care to guard it so that you say NO to what you don't care about and YES to what you do care about.  On a daily basis, that might mean that you say NO to sleeping in and YES to getting up early and getting your day started on the right track.  It also might mean that you say NO to things that take up too much of your time and offer too little in return.  What if someone said--how about we go and do a field trip to the mall for...?  And, you know this person always takes an excessively long time to look and select items.  Maybe you declare that you have an hour for this activity, but then you have to go.  That preserves your interests (your CORE value that your time is precious) and also allows you to enjoy your friend and your activity together.

The pandemic has given us extra time to think about what matters.  Life has changed so drastically, we can't help but reconsider how we live.  Giving away your time for people or things that don't matter to you is not fulfilling.  It leaves less time and more resentment in its wake.  

It's time to reflect on what you really care about.  What are those seeds that have been planted by your parents and teachers?  What is waiting for more nurturing?  What needs to grow a little more, inside of you, so that you get more life outside of you?  And, what might you consider saying NO to, so that you strengthen your CORE, your resolve, to say YES to yourself?

Pivot with Your Routines to Stay Motivated

It's that time of year, and we are heading into the long winter's night which means that it is time to switch things around.  Nature is actually cuing us to make a change.  So, let's go "with the flow" not against it, and consider our options.

When it comes to food, we start craving heartier fare.  That might mean more calories, but it doesn't have to.  There are plenty of ways to eat healthfully and still get those comfort foods in.  Think about stews, soups and curries.  Think about crock pot cooking or sheet pan cooking where you can get it all done in one vessel (less clean up).   Think about an aromatic tray of baked frozen peaches.  YUM.  That always makes me feel comforted and can satisfy sweets cravings.

As for activity, it's a mindset game.  Is going outdoors for multiple ten minute walks in the cold, dressed for the weather, more appealing and more sustainable than a 30 minute walk in the dark after dinner?  You decide.  Is looking at the weather itself as something to be embraced yet another mindset shift that might make it more likely that you will explore the great outdoors despite the cold temps?  Is finding a buddy to walk with or work out with (even remotely) another pivot for this time of year?  Why--because activity is a mood booster and good for the body and mind and sleep.  

Speaking of sleep, let's consider what it takes to get quality sleep and commit to it.  I know I sleep more in the winter than I do in the summer.  It's dark.  It's easier to go to bed when it's dark for so long.  That's ok.  I am "going with the flow."  I just read that getting good quality sleep helps vaccines work better.  I'll be getting a vaccine sometime soonish, I am hoping, so I will remember this little nugget.

Consider one idea, or all of the above ideas to change with the season and embrace the time you have so that you get more of the health and wellness you are looking for.  You are worth the effort.