We could all benefit from a word of encouragement or pat on the back or gentle redirecting from time to time. Especially when we are working hard to make lifestyle changes, we need the boost. Unfortunately, we often listen to the voice in our head that does not speak gently or kindly or helpfully--especially when things go off track.
For many of us, it is far easier to be kind and compassionate to a friend in need, than it is to take care of our own needs. Maybe we have heard messages about how good it is to be a help to others and to give of yourself, etc. However, it is only good if it is coming from a good place not a place of resentment. Let's consider another point of view--like the possibility that being good to ourselves means that we listen to our bodies. When we are too tired to go on, we take a break, for example. When it is time for lunch, we stop working or driving or texting and just start eating and enjoying our food. When we notice we are looping old messages that make us feel bad and hopeless, we replace those messages with more helpful ones and start repeating them.
Being compassionate and kind to yourself does not mean you let yourself off the hook. That's different. Telling yourself that you will get your taxes done someday but never actually do them is not kind to yourself at all. It has plenty of negative consequences. Telling yourself that if you eat all the leftover birthday cake today then you will be "good" tomorrow and not eat any because it will be gone is crazy thinking--a truly unhelpful thought that can be replaced by a helpful thought--I ate my birthday cake and loved it, but I can't have leftovers in the house because they are too tempting, and I don't want to deal with the consequences of overeating my points and feeling frustrated. That's kind and compassionate and full of wise perspective.
Just because we are adults does not mean we have all the answers to our problems. Just because we know better does not necessarily mean we do better. And just because we haven't done well in the past, does not mean we can't start doing better now. We always have the power and ability to decide how we wish to "show up" in our moments, our days, our lives. If you want to "show up" as a strong, determined, healthy human being, then you have to take on the tasks that strong, determined, healthy human beings take on. You have to rise to the occasion and be someone you are proud of. You don't have to be perfect, and you are allowed to make mistakes, but you do have to do more than you think you can.
When I am at my gym, OrangeTheory, the trainer says that the last few most difficult repetitions in the weight room are where the change happens. When we feel like we can't go on, we are actually getting stronger. When we force ourselves to move beyond our comfort zone physically or mentally or emotionally that's when we create what we really want.
A buzz word of today is "co-creator." That means that you and I, have a pact with each other, to move outside our comfort zone and co-create a bigger life, a healthier life, a fitter life, a more flattering life. It has to come from kindness.
Thursday, April 26, 2018
Tuesday, April 17, 2018
Balance Mostly Right Most of the Time
There is such a thing as "too much." Too much chocolate, and you will get sick. (I know.) Too many drinks, and you will regret it. Too much work, and you will be stressed. Too much to do, and you will be overwhelmed. There is also such a thing as "too little." Too little time to yourself, you will be frustrated. Too little to do, you will be aimless. Too little healing time, you will stay sick. This makes me think of the Three Bears. Goldilocks would like it to be "just right."
When it comes to food, I have heard people say that the 80/20 rule works. That means that 80% of the time, you eat "clean." Meals and snacks are made up of the food groups: fruits, veggies, whole grains, lean proteins, lean dairy and its substitutes and 2 tsp. of healthy oil per day. That also means that 20% of the time, you can indulge in extra treats like chocolate, alcohol, burgers/fries, etc.
My point of view is that "mostly right, most of the time" is the sweet spot. We can't eat solely single ingredient foods because it is too demanding and restrictive. We also can't start the day with donuts and croissants and then move to jumbo sandwiches and an afternoon "pick me up treat" (mine used to be two candy bars during my stressful political career in DC) and then take out dinner because there was no plan. There can be a balance between the extremes that eventually becomes the sweet spot where we live our lives fully, but we indulge occasionally--or even regularly because we planned to.
In creating a healthy lifestyle, consider how much sleep works best for you? Consider how much exercise works best for you? If I overdo it at my OrangeTheory gym, I get immune suppressed and sick the next week. That's my body's response to doing too much. Yet another reminder to me that extremes don't work. Consider when and where having your extras matters? Is it a drink every night or an ice cream bar after dinner? Is it an extra added on to your meals to make your clean eating feel even better? Your body will tell you where the sweet spot is. Your body will still feel good even after you indulge if you do it mostly right. Your body will tell you that you overdid it, by poor digestion, loss of impulse control or regret.
In yoga and qi gong, we talk about balancing the yin and the yang--the two extremes. Nature isn't perfect, and neither are we. Mistakes happen. (April snowstorm!) Nature seeks balance. We are part of nature. We can blossom and thrive in the sweet spot that we create one moment at a time. After a while, those moments add up to days, weeks, months and years of good health. That's a worthy pursuit that will feel just right.
When it comes to food, I have heard people say that the 80/20 rule works. That means that 80% of the time, you eat "clean." Meals and snacks are made up of the food groups: fruits, veggies, whole grains, lean proteins, lean dairy and its substitutes and 2 tsp. of healthy oil per day. That also means that 20% of the time, you can indulge in extra treats like chocolate, alcohol, burgers/fries, etc.
My point of view is that "mostly right, most of the time" is the sweet spot. We can't eat solely single ingredient foods because it is too demanding and restrictive. We also can't start the day with donuts and croissants and then move to jumbo sandwiches and an afternoon "pick me up treat" (mine used to be two candy bars during my stressful political career in DC) and then take out dinner because there was no plan. There can be a balance between the extremes that eventually becomes the sweet spot where we live our lives fully, but we indulge occasionally--or even regularly because we planned to.
In creating a healthy lifestyle, consider how much sleep works best for you? Consider how much exercise works best for you? If I overdo it at my OrangeTheory gym, I get immune suppressed and sick the next week. That's my body's response to doing too much. Yet another reminder to me that extremes don't work. Consider when and where having your extras matters? Is it a drink every night or an ice cream bar after dinner? Is it an extra added on to your meals to make your clean eating feel even better? Your body will tell you where the sweet spot is. Your body will still feel good even after you indulge if you do it mostly right. Your body will tell you that you overdid it, by poor digestion, loss of impulse control or regret.
In yoga and qi gong, we talk about balancing the yin and the yang--the two extremes. Nature isn't perfect, and neither are we. Mistakes happen. (April snowstorm!) Nature seeks balance. We are part of nature. We can blossom and thrive in the sweet spot that we create one moment at a time. After a while, those moments add up to days, weeks, months and years of good health. That's a worthy pursuit that will feel just right.
Thursday, April 12, 2018
Some Effort is the Start of Something Good
One of the more challenging things for us to do nowadays is be present. Technological advances have added to our desire for speed and expectation for immediate results. This super-charged fast pace is not normal for mere mortals like us. Our brains cannot keep up with the information overload or the expectation to be linked in and accessible at all times. An unintended consequence of this overconnected lifestyle is that we miss the present moment. We miss it completely. The body is in the here and now, but the mind travels behind or ahead or elsewhere. It is only in the present moment that we can actually do something. We can't go to the past and undo our mistakes, and we can't leap to the future and play out our success. It is only in the present moment when we allow the mind to be still and to find the body that we can make a change.
People tell me all the time they want to live a "healthy lifestyle." They define this lifestyle as being more active, eating better, losing weight, sleeping more regularly, managing stress without food, etc. That's a tall order. No one can do all of those things all the time. However, most of us can stop for a moment and look around and see that the "next right thing" might take just a few short minutes. Those minutes might lead to less stress--big bonus--and more happiness--big bonus--and more positive lifestyle changes--major bonus.
Spending a few minutes every hour to get up and walk around, take a stretch, get more water and give your overworked and overstimulated brain a break is a good way to start. Setting timers, using the fitbit or watch to remind you to take care of yourself makes sense. We get caught up in the information stream, and then we miss rebooting our own battery, so to speak.
In yoga and qi gong, we talk about the balance between two polarities. Sometimes we say the yin and the yang, the sun and the moon, the light and the dark. While there is no perfect 50/50 equation, there can be more balance. Think of a road trip where sitting, sitting, sitting makes us want to leap from the car and stretch, walk around, get some fresh air. Or, consider holiday time, where there is too much entertaining with heavy foods and drinks. We start looking forward to simpler meals and less time in crowds. That is the yin chasing the yang for more balance. Our bodies and minds want this.
This week, consider the brief moments of your day where you might find more balance, where you can create a brain break and get some movement into your busy day. It will make you feel better, and when you feel better, you do better. That is a healthy lifestyle in the making.
People tell me all the time they want to live a "healthy lifestyle." They define this lifestyle as being more active, eating better, losing weight, sleeping more regularly, managing stress without food, etc. That's a tall order. No one can do all of those things all the time. However, most of us can stop for a moment and look around and see that the "next right thing" might take just a few short minutes. Those minutes might lead to less stress--big bonus--and more happiness--big bonus--and more positive lifestyle changes--major bonus.
Spending a few minutes every hour to get up and walk around, take a stretch, get more water and give your overworked and overstimulated brain a break is a good way to start. Setting timers, using the fitbit or watch to remind you to take care of yourself makes sense. We get caught up in the information stream, and then we miss rebooting our own battery, so to speak.
In yoga and qi gong, we talk about the balance between two polarities. Sometimes we say the yin and the yang, the sun and the moon, the light and the dark. While there is no perfect 50/50 equation, there can be more balance. Think of a road trip where sitting, sitting, sitting makes us want to leap from the car and stretch, walk around, get some fresh air. Or, consider holiday time, where there is too much entertaining with heavy foods and drinks. We start looking forward to simpler meals and less time in crowds. That is the yin chasing the yang for more balance. Our bodies and minds want this.
This week, consider the brief moments of your day where you might find more balance, where you can create a brain break and get some movement into your busy day. It will make you feel better, and when you feel better, you do better. That is a healthy lifestyle in the making.
Thursday, April 5, 2018
Cultivate a Healthy Lifestyle by Planning
A healthy lifestyle is something that happens over time, as an accumulation of efforts, choices and habits that support it. Expecting things to go well, by being positive, is important; however it is not enough to make good things happen. We have to have a plan and then hold ourselves accountable to the plan.
There may be unexpected obstacles that come in our path on our way to carrying out our good plan, but that just means that we can amend the plan, make it workable given the new set of circumstances. I believe that Plan "A" is great to have, but it is actually Plan "B" that plays out more often.
One of the obstacles that we all encounter is "magical thinking." This is rationalizing behavior that includes things like making excuses, underestimating calories or portion sizes or even saying--tomorrow is another day. Rationalizing behavior gets in the way of our goals. Instant gratification takes precedence over the big picture. We often regret the choices that we rationalized, after the fact, when we have a clear moment to think things over.
One way to get un-stuck is to reflect on your own "magical thinking." Are there any thoughts that are pure rationalizations that are keeping you from getting what you really want? Are there any hot spots in your day that frustrate you? That's where the attention needs to be. That's also where the opportunity for improvement comes in. A simple tweak might be all it takes. For example, instead of going home after work and then losing your interest in going to the gym, plan on going to the gym directly from work so that it actually happens. Commit to 20-30 minutes. If you stay longer, then that's fine. If not, you held yourself accountable. That counts. That feels good. That feels like a healthy life worth living.
There may be unexpected obstacles that come in our path on our way to carrying out our good plan, but that just means that we can amend the plan, make it workable given the new set of circumstances. I believe that Plan "A" is great to have, but it is actually Plan "B" that plays out more often.
One of the obstacles that we all encounter is "magical thinking." This is rationalizing behavior that includes things like making excuses, underestimating calories or portion sizes or even saying--tomorrow is another day. Rationalizing behavior gets in the way of our goals. Instant gratification takes precedence over the big picture. We often regret the choices that we rationalized, after the fact, when we have a clear moment to think things over.
One way to get un-stuck is to reflect on your own "magical thinking." Are there any thoughts that are pure rationalizations that are keeping you from getting what you really want? Are there any hot spots in your day that frustrate you? That's where the attention needs to be. That's also where the opportunity for improvement comes in. A simple tweak might be all it takes. For example, instead of going home after work and then losing your interest in going to the gym, plan on going to the gym directly from work so that it actually happens. Commit to 20-30 minutes. If you stay longer, then that's fine. If not, you held yourself accountable. That counts. That feels good. That feels like a healthy life worth living.
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