Slow Down and Assess Your Stress

There are so many ways to manage stress that are healthy and positive, yet the hard part is that when we are under stress, we are less likely to access the very things that might help the most.

I recommend that you slow down and really pay attention to how you are FEELING in the moment.  If your mind says "I am so stressed out" then what are you actually feeling in your body?  Is your heart racing?  Is your skin feeling hot?  Are you agitated and don't know where to put yourself other than in the kitchen?  These are signs that something is going on that might be worth paying attention to.

After all, stress is a feeling.  And, because it is a feeling, that means it comes and goes, ebbs and flows.  Sometimes you feel it more so than others.  With the global pandemic among us (a major stressor for the world) I have noticed that sometimes I feel overwhelmed with it all, but far more often, I am frustrated and can redirect my mind's eye to something that makes me feel better.

Giving yourself a moment--three deep breaths, a five minute walk outside, a quick windex in the bathroom mirror can be a way to SLOW down the stress and assess the situation.  Is this a major moment--I need a drive away from this house, all by myself kind of feeling?  Or, is this just a moment that I can get past with a walk, a drink of water, a distraction, a load of laundry, a knitting project or a puzzle?

You know me.  I do not suggest pretending it isn't real.  That's more stressful.  I am also not suggesting that you think about other people who are worse off than you and then hope that makes your plight bearable.  I am suggesting that you take note of how you are feeling, and you press the pause button and redirect your body and mind and spirit elsewhere--away from food or drinks.  THEN, you can come revisit your food or drinks after that break. 

Food will solve a hunger problem.  Comfort food will help you feel better in the moment--but we need way more comfort in covid19 times than we have calories for.  So, consider pressing the pause button when emotions, boredom, stress, quarantine fatigue set in and do something that will not only help you feel better in the moment, there will be no negative side effects afterwards. 

Read?  Set?

Press Pause.

Refresh, Renew, Refocus

Wanting isn't getting.  Wishing doesn't make it so.  Doing is what gets things done.  Truth.  No matter how much we want weight loss and good health, that doesn't mean we will always make healthy choices or pick apples over caramel apple pie.  (I made that up--I don't even think that is a thing.)  When it comes to cultivating a healthy lifestyle, it is not the grand gestures taken once in a while that make the difference, it is the small things that are done consistently over time that reap big rewards.  

However, knowing what we're supposed to do doesn't mean we DO that very thing.  We get lazy sometimes, and we don't feel like doing what's good for us.  Truth.  That's ok.  That's normal.  That's to be expected.  What's decidedly not ok is parking there, neither your mindset nor your bod. 

So, if you are finding yourself in a position where you want weight loss, weight maintenance or more energy from your food (as fuel) and your exercise, your steps, your activity, then you have to do the time.  In lots of little ways, throughout the day.

Good news.  You are not starting over from scratch.  You are starting over from experience.  You have the experience of things going well before--and it's time to put back into place, front and center, some of those things to get yourself refreshed, renewed and refocused.

I filled my fruit bowl.  I started drinking Rooibos tea after dinner when I really want to eat a jumbo chocolate bar.  I work hard every day to shift my mindset from "oh hell no this can't still be going on..." to the positive "this is part of my life, and it matters too."  It is just as precious as all the other parts.  That is enough in itself to refresh, renew and refocus.  So, onward team, we go together.

Who's in Charge of What

In tender times like these, it is easy to become overwhelmed with news, looking around at your four walls all the time, a desire to be productive, a wish to get back to pre C19 times and not have to make dinner every single night.  The list goes on, and so does the unease that comes with it.  Living with uncertainty for prolonged periods of time is stressful and damaging to your health. 

How can we stop this?  Recognizing that there are some things in your control--and some things out of your control--and there are some things you have influence over.  You are not in control of whether you get C19 or not, but you do influence whether it happens.  You are not in control of when this lockdown is over, but you do influence how you handle it.  You are not in control over people who do not wear masks or maintain six feet distance in public, but you are in control of whether you do. 

You are also in control of what you choose to think which determines how you feel and then what you do.  Whew--something good in all of this.

It's time to be kinder, more patient and more understanding.  Our human desire to be in charge is now butting up against the great invisible germ that has brought the world to a standstill.  It's a humbling message.  No one could ever have imagined our lives would come to this for the time being, yet here we are. 

Since giving up is not an option, it is our responsibility to keep going in the face of doubt, frustration and wonder.  When we return to what we can control and what we are in charge of, we feel better about our day and ourselves.  That is always good for your health.

Checking in on Self Compassion

These are tough times, don't we know only too well.  This is no time, however, to be tough on yourself.  That just adds aggravation to an already difficult situation.  Instead, let's wrap a layer of self compassion around your mind, your body, your heart.

Self compassion means that you are as nice to yourself as you are to your best friend.  Your thoughts matter.  They are running in and out of your mind all day long.  If you are playing negative or critical tapes in your head about why you don't measure up--delete those tapes.  They are not helpful.  If you are not eating right, sleeping well, moving your body or drinking your water, your body would like you to show a little more respect.  It needs more goodness now that staying healthy is our numero uno "war" effort.  Being kind in your heart means that you are feeling the emotions that bubble up...depression, anxiety, fear, helplessness, boredom--but you do NOT live there.  You acknowledge those feelings, because they are so real and so legitimate, but you are kind enough to yourself to say that you need even MORE self compassion under the circumstances. 

Some of our usual go to's to cope are not available right now--or they are available in a "virtual" world.  Well, that's the truth, and we can't get out of it for now.  Focusing on that is not helpful or compassionate, so let's move to the all powerful:  WHAT CAN I DO?  For now, for this moment, for this time, what is it that will help me think more clearly, feel better in my body and then feel more fulfillment in my heart? 

Baby steps, littlest of gestures, a smile, a thank you, a grateful heart for what you have might be all it takes to bring that sweet kindness and compassion back in.  We all need it now more than ever. 

Take Charge of What You Can

Stress stinks because it makes us uncomfortable.  Something invisible making us uncomfortable--sound familiar?  Stress activates our lack of control over our circumstances.  And, if there was ever a time to feel like circumstances are out of our control--now is the time.

Instead of focusing on what's out of our control--germs, weather, society shutting down, we benefit from focusing on what we can control.  Thoughts, schedule, sleep hygiene, meal planning, exercise routine are a few important ones. 

By focusing on what we can do, we activate our growth mindset and automatically shift to the positive.  That is stress relieving in itself.  When the mindset goes dark, focusing on what we can appreciate--the gratitude mindset actually changes the cells in your brain besides elevating your mood.  It takes practice.  It doesn't mean we won't feel badly, it just means that we can do something about it.  That's power. 

No one knows how long this stretch of C19 isolation is going to last.  That in itself can kick up stress.  But, we don't have to know.  No matter what, we will get to the end of this--at some point--a date uncertain.  So, we can say--I have now.  I have this moment.  I have what's around me.  I have nature to turn to and lift my mood.  I have springtime coming.  I have my health which is my biggest contribution to this "war without guns" effort. 

In tough times, it is one baby step at a time.  It works.  It reduces stress.  It makes things feel manageable, and that's exactly what we need now.