Tame the Tiger in You

There are lots of ways to describe hunger--one being internal hunger vs. the other being external hunger.  Internal hunger is real, physical and best dealt with by eating nutritious food. Think of breakfast, lunch, dinner and healthier snacks.  On the other hand, external hunger is opportunistic--it is based in what you happen to see or smell in the moment.  This is where the animal in us just pounces at whatever it sees.  With all the desserts, cookies and extras available this time of year, this can be a real problem. 

One way to tame this tiger, is to stop, slow down and ask yourself whether you are internally hungry?  If so, then of course eating makes sense.  If what you choose is mostly healthy and right-sized portioned, and you stop eating when you are satisfied, this is NOT where weight gain will come from.  If you find yourself tempted just because opportunity presented itself, the food looked good, it was sitting there, everyone else was eating, etc., then you might consider whether you really want to eat or whether this is just one of 200 opportunities in the course of the day.  This is precisely where weight gain comes from.  The opportunistic bites are so often full of calories, saturated fat, sugar and salt.

As thinking adults not animals, we can endeavor to get better at slowing down long enough to decide what's right from moment to moment.  Eating meals and planned snacks at regular intervals will certainly help.  Not letting hunger get too primal will also help.  We can't help but forget our smart human brains when hunger becomes primal, and the tiger comes scratching. 

It's holiday time, and there is a lot competing for our attention.  It's a great time to slow down the pace and gather the energy inward to focus.  Focus on what's important.  Focus on what matters.  Let go of what is getting in the way.  And most importantly of all, keep going.  Keep showing up for your heart's desires.  It will help make this work of adult life worthwhile.  Something a wild tiger really cannot grasp.

Gifts Only You Can Give Yourself

With the holiday season buzzing around, I see commercials, ads, displays, ideas--all about what to buy someone for Christmas.  When I was a kid, anticipation, gifts, family celebrations were what Christmas was all about.  In my neighborhood, we all put out brown paper bags full of sand and lit candles at night.  The luminaria tradition.  I loved looking out my bedroom window, feeling the cold windowsill as I took in the stretch of lights as far as my little eyes could see--magical! 

As an adult, I feel differently about the season.  I do love my tree and lights.  I love sending cards with photos.  I've been doing that for years.  Yet, more stuff is not appealing to me.  I am not a big shopper--in the mall or online.  When I do go out to shop, I end up buying more things for me--and I don't need more things.  At this point, my girls aren't looking for American Girl dolls and toys.  It's more like gift cards and money. 

This brings me to my adult take on Christmas.  Things that come in boxes with ribbons are lovely, but that's not what I am looking for.  I want things I cannot buy.  And I want things that actually make me happy on a regular basis, not just for holiday time.

Like so many of you, I too am on a life-long journey of self improvement, self acceptance, good health, peace of mind...  This time of year is full of distraction, and I am noticing myself getting sidetracked  by little extras.  As we know too well, little things add up.  So I am adding more intention to my actions.  That will make me happy.  I am increasing mindfulness by being present in the moment.  This is destressing.  I am also looking for better quality sleep.  A lifelong work in progress.

While these things may not sound like a typical recipe for holiday good cheer, they bring more happiness to my humble life.  That's a gift only I can give myself.

Know Yourself and Be True to Yourself

Sometimes we don't give ourselves enough credit.  And, other times we let ourselves off the hook too easily.  When we were children, our parents, teachers and coaches probably called us out on these things more often than not.  They did this because they wanted the best for us.  They wanted us to succeed.  They wanted us to learn from our mistakes.  

Fast forward to adulthood.  Things have changed.  We might not have that voice of authority looking out for us. We might not have that coach cheering us on.  We are left to our own devices, and that's not always the best arrangement.

Creating space and time every day to simply consider what you'd like to have happen, i..e. how you'd like the day to go can become a small habit that yields big returns. It's like a happiness scaffold to hang your activities, to-do's, goals, intentions on.  The more intentional you can become with your moments and activities, the more likely they are to happen.  You return to your true self and what you really want instead of letting the day run away.  This can start with the alarm on the phone, checking emails and other media and then getting sucked into something you may not even care about.  

We live in a time with too much excess.  Too much information overload.  Too much accessibility.  Too much noise.  It is distracting, and it robs us of stillness and presence.  This is a jagged path to scattered, frustrated energy. This will make us unhappy and unproductive.

Especially this busy time of year, refocus on yourself.  Put special, heart-felt energy behind a "me time" habit whereby you start the day off right.  You adhere to a new habit of considering what you'd like to achieve.  This can be personal and professional.  To be a healthy person means we integrate all facets of our daily lives.  

Build the habit of starting the day gradually and quietly.  Set the tone before you even leave the house.  See what happens.

Stay Sane for the Holidays

It's that ultra busy time of the year.  The weather turns cold and unpredictable.  There is pressure to plan, decorate, shop, organize, cook and bake to impress.   All this while living regular life too, like going to the grocery store, doing laundry and showing up at work and being productive.  It's a lot of distraction, and it can feel like a lot of pressure.

Now is the time to consider how you'd like to show up for yourself in the next month.  Thinking about what makes the holidays fun for you is a good start.  Is it the decorating?  Is it the lights?  Is it the family traditions?  If so, don't let go of what makes this festive for you.  Next, think about the activities, outings, pot lucks, parties, entertaining that might happen.  What is fun in all of that for you?  If there is something that's on the calendar, but it really doesn't bring you joy and feels more like an obligation, then maybe you pass this time.  Finally, think about what you can do for yourself to keep sane during this hectic time.  What are the things that relax you and dial down the tension in your life?  Maybe more physical activity might help manage stress.  Maybe taking more frequent breaks at work to walk and drink more water would fit into your schedule.  Maybe finding a buddy to go to a fitness class just to stay accountable might feel like a social release and a stress relief.  Maybe going to bed earlier to get more rest might do the trick.  When it seems like life is moving too fast, simply slow down for yourself.  Take note of the things you are doing that are helping and those that are not helping.  If you feel more stressed at the thought of another night out or more shopping after a long day, then take a break and take your life back.  Dial back the expectations so that you can enjoy yourself this time of year too.

This is the time when ultra rich, heavy foods laden with sugar, saturated fat and calories seem to show up everywhere.  Stress will make it too easy to indulge too often.  Consider the treats that matter to you the most--and save yourself for those.  Slow down long enough to enjoy them in a mindful way.  They will mean more.  Ignore anything that is ho-hum, not that good or nor really your favorite.

The month of December could be the month of self care, if you set yourself up for it.  This could be the time where you are actually enjoying the season because you are managing your expectations and eliminating excess.  For me, sending cards with photos of my girls is part of the holiday season.  I like doing it, and although it takes a lot of time, it is worth it to me.  It is a tradition I choose to keep.  As for all the cookie baking, that tradition had to change.  I can't bake like I used to, because I will look like Santa in no time.  I like eating those homemade cookies too much.  If someone asks me to bake for them, I will do it, and I will deliver those cookies promptly, but you won't find a cookie tray at my house.  This is a tradition that I am comfortable giving up.  It doesn't work for me anymore.  It took me a long time to figure it out.

Whatever you do with the month of December, remember that the greatest gift you have comes from your heart.  It doesn't need a ribbon or gift wrap.  It comes out in your words, gestures, kindnesses.  That is truly a gift that keeps on giving.

Kindness is Healthy

It is now scientifically proven that kindness pays off when it comes to your health.  Furthermore, it is not just a good thing for the receiver of the kindness.  Au contraire, it is even more of a boost for the giver.  No wonder Oprah liked to give away cars.  When we give a compliment, open a door, let a fellow driver into the roadway, we extend a good part of ourselves that creates the potential for even more acts of kindness.  Even though you may never know how someone chose to "pay it forward" it still matters.

This is the basic "stuff" that makes us feel happier.  Happier people are funner to be around.  Happier people take life's bumps and bruises in stride and don't allow stress to take over.  Happier people want more good things for themselves, so they keep working on themselves.  Therefore, it pays to train the brain to keep looking for good things, good news, opportunities for being kind.  This doesn't mean awful things don't happen.  This is not pretending that "life is good" even if you are in crisis.  No, this is the growth mindset that we can cultivate, exercise and grow so that our outlook is more often positive than negative. 

As I write this blog, my 17 year old daughter has been home sick from school all week with a perforated ear drum.  She went back to school today only to be sent home because she now has pink eye in both eyes.  Back to the pediatrician.  I am on my way out of town for the WW cruise tomorrow morning, and this development added a wrinkle to the day.  But, I am not focusing on this.  I am not getting pink eye.  I am leaving Natalie in my mother's capable hands and hoping and praying for the best.  It's all I can do. 

Look for ways to be kind to other people--your family, your neighbors, your coworkers and strangers.  A smile, a nice word, a gesture that takes but a few seconds is all it takes to make your day and theirs.  That is the good energy you can control.  And if nothing else, it is good for your health and happiness. 

What Do You Want More vs. What Do You Want Now?

I heard a WW member ask an incredibly profound question that stuck in my mind for over a week.  She said she often asks herself, "what do I want more; and what do I want now?"  Simply stopping to ask that question inserts a pause in what could otherwise be a momentary lapse in judgment.  Slowing down long enough to even think of this question also means that she is using her brain to consider her options as opposed to appealing to instantaneous gratification. 

Weight loss, weight maintenance, self improvement, good habits are anything but instant.  They take time, effort, energy and consistency.  They are the exact opposite of immediate.  Yet, somehow we mix these things up.  We want to achieve those goals, but we forget the effort in the moment that sets the stage.

Our "McQuick" culture is working against us.  However, we are not animals who eat food when it comes in front of them.  They don't have the ability to reason.  Eating is survival for them, and they pounce.  On the other hand, we are human beings with the ability to think, reason, contemplate, debate and consider.  We can observe an eating opportunity knowing it is not our last.  We can choose to partake or not, or split or save something for later.  We are more than our animal instincts. 

With the Halloween candy around and signs of Thanksgiving coming in three weeks to say nothing of December and all its sugary excess, we are going to have lots of opportunity to make decisions.  We will encounter more temptation than we'd like.  We will be faced with the cut to the quick question--what do I want more vs. what do I want now?  If we can use our desire for success to drive our behavior more often, we can gain control by practicing restraint.  It is a practice.  We don't have to always choose fruit instead of cookies, but we can't eat every morsel of rich dessert that shows up either. 

Now is an opportune time to consider all the reasons you decided to change your life.  Those reasons come from the heart, and they are true to you.  You want what you want.  That's fair.  In order to get what you want, you have to commit to it.  Through your thoughts, your actions, by practicing restraint, control, patience, forgiveness.  That's fair too.  You have to appeal to your superpower, i.e. your smart brain and follow through.  You have earn it even though the rewards may not appear immediately.  In doing so, what you want more is exactly what you will be getting.  A dream come true.

Being Accountable and Mindful

My 17 year old daughter, Natalie, made a "mindfulness jar" in a class.  This is a small mason jar filled with pink glitter, suspended in liquid.  It's like a super snow globe.  She left this in my mom's car.  My mom pointed this out to her, and she was livid.  She said she doesn't need to be reminded about her mindfulness jar!  Therein lies the irony.  We DO need to be reminded to be mindful because we are often scattered with our energy and intention, and we simply forget.

There are so many ways to think about this buzzword of today:  mindfulness.  Let's break it down.  Mindful means that the mind is full.  It is full in the present moment, with present moment intention.  The mind is focused on what is right now.  If getting out of the car with my stuff is the present moment, then I am collecting my stuff as I exit the car.  If getting out the car, listening to ear buds, snapchatting someone and thinking about dinner is keeping the mind full, then I might forget what I am accidentally leaving behind.

To be clear, it can be challenging to live in a state of mindfulness.  The mind itself likes to jump to conclusions, form observations, make judgments, connect the dots.  Technology scatters the mind's intention and drains our focused energy.  Some people say we are only aware of 7% of what is really happening. 

The good news is that there is no perfection when it comes to being mindful.  There is simply practice.  Some days we are practicing more often than others.  The more we practice being present in the moment, the more we will refrain from distractions that rob us of our peace of mind.  Borrowing worry (tomorrow) or bemoaning the past (yesterday) keeps us from thriving in the present, the now, the mindful moment. 

Today is made up of a series of moments, one stacked on top of the other.  By adding up the days, the weeks, the months, the years, you have your life.  Now is a great time to reflect on your moments.  Do you like how you are spending them?  Do you enjoy them more often than not?  Do you slow down long enough to savor the good moments and really appreciate them?  If so, keep going.  If not, you can simply take a long deep inhale through the nose right now and let the breath out slowly and relax.  This signals your body to calm down.  This exercise trains the mind to turn to something positive, especially useful in times of high stress.  This keeps you grounded to the all-powerful present.  That's the most powerful position of all. 

A Growth Mindset Works

It is so easy to get stuck in our own wicked ways, irrational thoughts or preconceived notions about how life is supposed to be.  If we never question what we're thinking, we might not be limiting ourselves.  Let's consider replacing a "fixed mindset" with a "growth mindset."  An example of a fixed mindset is one where there are absolutes like--"I always gain weight at holiday time."  While it may be true that in the past, weight gain was part of holiday time, that does not mean it has to happen this holiday season.  This can be somewhat counterintuitive.  In a lot of cases, past performance is a strong indicator of future success.  NOT SO when it comes to self improvement.  It does not matter how often we attempt behavior change and miss the mark, that does not mean we won't hit the target this time. 

A growth mindset is open to possibilities.  It is grounded in perspective and a positive outlook.  An example of this might sound like--"I have gained weight at holiday time in the past, but this year I am going to set myself up for success so that doesn't happen."  By shifting the mindset to this kind of thinking, we are retraining the brain.  We move away from all or nothing thinking.  We leave behind our previous experiences that didn't work for us anyway, and we are opening ourselves up to something good--something we want:  a new outcome.

This is not to suggest that if I think positive thoughts, I will get whatever I want like a winning lottery ticket.  That's magical thinking.  This is to remind us that we have control over our thoughts.  We can choose to focus on positive ones, helpful ones, reflective ones.  We can choose to silence negative thoughts that remind us of previous mistakes.  By thinking positive thoughts, we feel better.  We are grounded in reality.  We then set our actions up for success too.  If I don't want to gain weight at holiday time, I am booking my workouts, staying out of the kitchen at night, drinking one cocktail not two, restricting baking, etc. 

We all have lived in our own heads for so long.  It is so tempting to think that our thoughts are reality, but they don't have to be.  We can rewrite our own success story by thinking of how we'd like it to go.  The sky is the limit when it comes to getting what we really want.  Yes, it is work that takes effort, but the rewards are so worthwhile.  This work is making our very precious dreams come true.

Mr. Rogers Grew Up With a Weight Problem?

When I was on a plane recently, I watched the Mr. Rogers Neighborhood movie.  It is a documentary about Fred Rogers, the man, the minister, the children's advocate, the PBS personality in blue keds and a cardigan.  I grew up watching the show.  I remembered the sound of the trolly coming through the wall on its way to the Land of Make Believe.  I remembered the puppets, the field trips, feeding the fish.  As a kid, I just watched this calm show and liked his "won't you be my neighbor" songs and messages.  As an adult, seeing snippets of episodes and listening to Mr. Rogers speak, I was flooded with nostalgia and surprised by a few things.

As a kid, I obviously didn't know about Fred Rogers going to Congress to get approval for his PBS show.  He tossed his prepared remarks aside and spoke from the heart--specifically about helping kids manage stressful emotions.  I didn't know about all the "Golden Rule" messages he was softly presenting.   And, I certainly did not know that Fred Rogers had a weight problem growing up.  Hmmm.   In his era, that was not the norm, so he likely stood out from his peers.  As an adult, he was also determined to overcome this problem.  Hmmm.  I can relate.  He made sure that he swam every day, and he weighed himself every day.  He even advertised his weight, 143, on the castle in the Land of Make Believe.  He said that "143" represented the number of letters in each word in the phrase "I LOVE YOU."  Maybe so, but it also stood for something very important to him personally.  Hiding in plain sight, it was a mark of success for him. 

As a Wellness Coach for almost fifteen years, I have the privilege of being up close and very personal with many people in their journeys, joys, struggles and successes as they create the life they really want.  I truly believe we come like children to the studio workshop (formerly known as meeting) because we need a lot of reminding, modeling, reinforcing, steering, directing, cheering, companionship, acceptance and accountability to keep going.  Self improvement with weight loss can be simple:  eat less than you are now--specifically junk and eat more healthy foods.  Move the body a little or a lot, frequently throughout the day.  Drink lots of water and stay hydrated.  Spend time with people who like you and like doing things with you.  Go to bed and get good rest.  Manage stress not by eating it, fighting it or screaming it--but by doing something stress relieving--like talking to a friend, exercising, meditating, walking. 

It is all so basic, yet we often let it become so much more complicated than it needs to be.  So, what about taking a page from Mr. Rogers' book.  Make life a little simpler.  Take small steps, little by little, moment by moment.  Treasure the life you have now--knowing you are connected to so many other people who are traveling this very same path.  Expect this to go well when you lead from the heart. 

How Do You Want to Feel

If you often eat based on how you feel, why not exercise based on how you would like to feel?   For example, what if you'd like to feel more relaxed or energized or stronger?  You might think about matching a relaxing activity like yoga, qigong or easy walking.  If you are looking for more energy, you might consider spin class, jogging or bootcamp.  If you are looking for strength, that could be a weight training class or kick boxing. 

Exercise, fitness, activity, moving more--it all means the same thing:  the body is in motion.  This is a critical part of our wellness plan.  Moving the body is the best way to dump stress hormones (cortisol and adrenaline) from the system.  Moving the body gives the mind a much needed break.  It allows the mind to stop jumping from one thought to another, which can feel exhausting.  Moving the body gives us more body confidence and a sense of accomplishment.  We can use that goodwill to inform food choices and stay focused on goals.

The good thing is that we don't have to commit hours to fitness to get the benefits.  We can commit bits of time, because ten minutes here and ten minutes there adds up to twenty minutes of fitness that we might not otherwise commit to.  Some effort is always better than none.  It all adds up.  It all counts. 

It makes sense to find activities you like.  The more you like what you are doing, the more likely you are to continue doing it.  That seems obvious.  But, what if you are one of those people who really doesn't like exercise?  You can do it anyway.  Just find what you dislike the least, and try it for ten minutes.  Find a buddy to participate--like a walk during work?  An accountability partner might just make this happen. 

Weight loss comes from healthy food choices, mostly.  This is key component in creating a healthy lifestyle.  Another key component to a healthy lifestyle is adding more steps, more fit breaks, more activity to daily life.  It's worth the effort because your goals are worth the effort. 

Move a little more, and notice how it makes you feel.  Then, keep going!

Manage Emotional Eating: Flee or Fight

Everyone has the potential to be an emotional eater because everyone experiences stress in their lives, and everyone has to eat in good times and bad and everything in between.  Babies are stressed when they are hungry or thirsty, tired or wet.  Little children are stressed when they are asked to be still when their bodies just want to move.  Teenagers of today are stressed by technology coming at them, etc. etc. 

When the body experiences stress--a perceived threat, like anxiety or pressure of expectations or worry over job security, health, family, etc., the adrenal glands secrete adrenaline and cortisol.  These stress hormones helped our ancient ancestors to survive.  Their stress was fear for their lives--mortal danger.  They responded by fleeing the perceived threat or fighting it.  The very last resort was to freeze in place.  After the fleeing or fighting, their bodies were depleted of calories.  They needed calories to survive.  So they replaced those calories they burned. 

My dog, Pippa, doesn't like fireworks.  The loud noise, the repetition tell her to escape the perceived threat, i.e. flee.  Fourth of July is the prime time for dogs to get lost because of this very reason.  Because we keep Pippa inside and safe, and although she still can hear the booms of fireworks, she is frozen in place with her stress.  Her body responds to this by shaking it off.  She trembles.  This is helping her release the nasty cortisol and adrenaline that is building up in her body.  This shaking is helping.

As for human beings, our bodies still respond to stress the way our ancestors' bodies did even though we are not living in fear for our lives.  Our body doesn't know this, so it ramps up the cortisol and adrenaline in preparation for a flight or a fight.  This is a physical problem because excess cortisol and adrenaline suppress the immune system and lead to disease to say nothing of emotional eating.  Ninety percent of doctor's visits are stress related.  While our problems are different than our ancestors, our physical response in the body is the same.   Our desire to replace calories is the same as well. 

For this reason, I suggest that we practice a modern day version of fleeing (taking a walk) or fighting (vigorous exercise).  By responding to emotional situations with a physical response, we can dump that nasty cortisol and adrenaline.  We can "shake it off" so to speak.  This doesn't mean our problems disappear.  This means that the way we deal with them shifts.  A simple five minute walk (fleeing) away from a problem at work or home might be just what's needed to get some relief.  By doing something as simple as this, we transform negative into positive.  A life skill to be sure.

If walking away or moving vigorously or even shaking is not an option, then meditative breathing is the way to go.  By breathing in deeply through the nose and out through the nose or mouth, we signal to the body that we are NOT ramping up, but we are slowing DOWN.  We are telling our body to relax.  We are training our mind to let go.  We are creating a physical response.

Living fully means that we will have a vast array of experiences.  We care about our health, our families, our jobs, our communities, our hobbies, etc.  We feel a broad spectrum of emotions.  They don't even have to make sense.  Emotions are legitimate because they exist.  It is precisely these emotions that can create stress for our hearts, minds and bodies.  In the technology age, we live so much in our heads, but that is not helping.  We benefit by working with the body to create more balance, stress relief and calm. 

Set Yourself Up to Succeed: Skinny Kitchen Makeover

Who doesn't like clean kitchen counters, free from snail mail, power cords, backpacks, etc.?  It is a breath of fresh air for me to walk into my kitchen and see that dirty dishes have made their way to the dishwasher, the refrigerator is full of healthy, ready to eat options, and that the pantry is organized.  Two opposing but complementary forces are at work here.  First, I have to get the junky food out of my house.  If it is not possible to remove all of the junky food that other family members desire, then at the very least, I have to relocate "red light" foods to harder to reach places.  Second, I have to do some meal planning and grocery shopping so that I can welcome the good foods into the house.  And finally, I have to keep this routine going:  removing trigger foods and gathering healthier options.   

Whew!  That can feel like a lot of work.  I call it the skinny kitchen makeover.  It can happen in the cupboard, refrigerator, freezer or pantry.  Wherever there is food stored, it makes sense to keep it organized.  If you see the healthier option prepped and ready to go--you might be more likely to choose it.  If the unhealthy option isn't even there, it will be that much harder to get to it. 

This all makes logical sense, but this work is not happening unless the mindset is set up for success.  We benefit from losing just as much weight in our mind as we do in our body.  Now is the time to return to basics and reconnect with what works.  Measuring, weighing, counting and tracking works.  It creates mindful eating.  Seeking out any of the 200 zero-point foods and building meals around them works.  It is filling and satisfying.  It keeps the daily point count down.  Removing distractions that keep meals calmer works.  Electronics, a rushed schedule, eating at the counter while standing up do not create satiety.  If you aren't feeling satisfied, you may keep eating even if your stomach is really full.  Leaving the kitchen when meals are finished and works.  If you hang out too long where the food is kept, you might start eating again or might start snacking just because someone else is.  (I have never bought a house with a kitchen and family room together because of this very reason.)

Your physical space matters.  It is either helpful or hurtful in your healthy lifestyle.  Take a moment to observe your kitchen with a critical eye.  Do you have a food scale or measuring cups/spoons always available?  Do you know the point values of everything there?  You might consider scanning everything you have and writing the value on the package with a big black sharpie.  That way, you will always know what you are choosing.  Do you have staples ready and waiting for you in case of emergency?   A good dinner might be stored in your freezer or easily pulled together with some basics in cans.

It is a lifelong pursuit to take good care of yourself.  What you eat and what you choose not to eat is significant to your health and longevity.  This is something you can control.  Set yourself up to succeed.  You are worth it.

The Universe Says Yes

I was attending a QiGong teacher training this past weekend, and one of the teachers was talking about presenting classes and finding new students and starting a qigong business.  She said, "just imagine--the universe says yes."  I loved that idea, because it is so much more helpful to focus on things going well and turning out as opposed to fearing resistance and failure. 

Yet, how often are we trapped in negative, unhelpful thoughts that seem to become reality?  I know I am guilty of this.  Just this week, I went to my OrangeTheory Fitness workout, and the trainer said that is was "strength" day.  That means we are running hills on the treadmill.  I don't like running hills, and I dislike strength day a lot.  I heard a fearful voice in my head say--I can't do this.  Then I realized immediately that my body was eavesdropping on my mind.  I knocked it off right then and there.  I turned it around and just ran the hills.  The universe says yes.

This week, the weather turned just a bit in Minnesota.  Jackets are coming out, and the temps are dipping a little. The leaves are turning on some trees, and it feels like a change is coming.  In times of transition, it can be helpful to look back and see where we were, to learn from experience--as we look forward to see where we are going.  Looking back over the summer, we can consider what the universe said yes to?  A vacation, more fun times, longer days, more light--the universe said yes to all of those things.  Now, let's also consider what might have gotten in the way? 

Now, let's plan on the universe saying yes to what we'd really like to have.  We too change with the seasons.  We are organic material.  We feel differently.  We eat differently.  We sleep differently.  We are not the same this fall as we were all summer.  That keeps life interesting.  With that in mind--what will we expect and plan--for the universe to say yes to? 

The power of your mind to control your body and your life cannot be underestimated.  Shedding fattening thoughts is just as much a part of the journey of a healthy, long life as shedding pounds and decreasing in inches. 

Expect this journey to go well. 
Expect this journey to change from moment to moment. 
Expect this journey to take you places where you will meet demons and earth angels. 
Expect this journey to be worthwhile and worthy of you. 

Expect the universe to say yes.

Make Life Easier

Life is a balancing act that changes from moment to moment.  Sometimes we find ourselves overwhelmed by family demands.  Other times we find ourselves overwhelmed by deadlines and work stress.  And then there are times when we have work, home, emotions, sick pets, bad news and an empty refrigerator to contend with.  Through it all, we still need to sleep and eat.

One way to make life feel easier and more in control is to take care of the obvious requirements in advance; that is to say, plan ahead more regularly so that nourishing, satisfying meals are ready and waiting for you.  To make matters easier, you don't even have to do the work yourself.  You might simply download a meal plan, recipes and a grocery list from websites.  You might have meals delivered.  You might have meal ingredients delivered and then cook them later.  You might take all the help you can find at the grocery store and stock pre-chopped onions, diced cauliflower, salad bar ingredients to make salads interesting throughout the week and pair that with a rotisserie chicken.  It doesn't matter how you source nourishing meals, it just matters that it happens. 

The more stress you are under, the more balance you might need from stress-relieving activities.  The last thing you need is another thing to worry over or be frustrated by.  Knowing that you have some version of a plan, a frozen meal or a crockpot waiting for you may be the best part of a long day.   After all, you have to eat. 

It is an illusion for many of us to think there exists a perfect work/life balance.  I have come to believe that balance means that no single part of my life overwhelms any other single part of my life.  Sometimes I work more than others.  Sometimes I relax more than other times.  Some days I feel more stress than others.  Some days I feel more at ease than others.  No matter what, however, I want to and need to practice self care.  Healthy food, ready and waiting, is always part of that equation.

With the end of summer upon us, the fall signals a transition to something new.  Now is a great time to create a new habit of caring enough about yourself that you plan ahead for good things to happen.  Your taste buds will be happy.  Your stomach will be satisfied.  Your mind will be at ease because you have thought ahead.  That would certainly make life easier.

Be Grateful in the Moment: It's Good for Your Health

When I took my Level 1 YogaFit training four years ago, the instructor wore a shirt that said "Gratitude" on it.  I didn't understand at the time what gratitude had to do with yoga.  Then, when I went to my next yoga training at a big conference, everyone was asked to wear their "Gratitude" shirts on the last day.  Things started sinking in.  In yoga practice, we focus so much on letting go of competition with ourselves, the last time we were on the mat, our neighbor.  We let go of the past and don't attach to the future.  By doing so, we stay grounded in the present and can accept whatever the body/mind has to offer on that day, during that practice without judging or expectation.  Easier said than done.  The mind likes to attach, judge, wander, draw conclusions, rehash the past and worry over the future.  None of this brings happiness; all of this brings us out of the present. 

The same thinking holds true off the yoga mat.  We live in fast paced times, where too much technology and stimulation are coming at the brain.  The brain is not equipped to handle this much overload.  It becomes too stressful.  Intentionally slowing down long enough to take a look around and appreciate what is happening is more important than ever.  This can be simple, like finding rock star parking by the front door, or something bigger, like getting a compliment from a stranger, or maybe even a greater moment like realizing you made a difference in someone's day--any and all of this brings more joy to everyday living.

Our grandparents and parents may not have had as many distractions competing for their attention.  They spent more time outside.  They led more physically active lives.  They walked more just because their lives were set up that way.  They spent more time at the table for meals and talked to their family members.  This allowed them to process experiences in "real time" not hyper-charged technology time.  I know everything wasn't perfect like a Walton's episode.  But, none of us will ever get back all the time wasted on technology that sucked us in and gave us nothing in return. 

You may benefit from spending a few minutes every day identifying three good things.  It doesn't matter how small or how big they are.  Maybe you do this on the way home from work.  In the car, no music or phone or distraction.  Just think of three things that you are grateful for and notice how it made you feel at the time it happened--and how it makes you feel in the moment as you remember.  That's it.  Easy homework.  You might start recalling more detail about the three good things--like who was there--what was going on around you.  You might start looking for three good things every day in anticipation of answering these questions at the end of the day. 

By getting in the habit of being grateful for what you have, you become more present in your day.
By being present in your day, you become less stressed. 
By becoming less stressed, you save your good energy for where you really need it. 
That is a zero-point recipe for good health. 

Keep Going: Make it a Habit

When it comes to making healthy food choices more often, it is a mixed bag.  We eat for health reasons--more fiber, good protein, fruits and veggies.  We eat for hunger--more protein, volume, lots of chewing.  We eat for pleasure's sake--molten chocolate cake anyone?  We eat to connect with our family heritage and traditions--holiday food or reunion specialties.  We also eat for reasons that don't serve us--mindless or emotional eating like buckets of popcorn at the movie theater or trick or treating at work with candy dishes everywhere. 

Getting in the habit of making mindful eating choices is a practice we can adopt, but that doesn't mean we won't ever return to our former habits.  Stress gets in the way every single time.  We then revert to autopilot, which is where our former habits have been sleeping.  

This cycle of on again/off again is a reminder that there does not need to be a starting point or a stopping point necessarily.  In fact, we can choose to keep going the very moment we realize we are not doing what we'd like to be doing.  It doesn't mean we have undone all of our good habits.  It doesn't mean we have lost ground.  It just means that we are human.  No judging.    

I think having the courage to keep going no matter how many times we fall off is the humble secret to lasting change.  Punishing yourself for not doing what you wish you were doing is wasting time and eroding positive self esteem.  It makes no sense.  We cannot apply logic to emotion because the head and heart don't speak the same language.  Being smart doesn't stop us from doing things that don't really help.  Think of going to restaurants on an empty stomach and ordering too much food.  Think of running through points on booze on the weekend and having nothing left for food.  If it happened, then let it be done.  Leave it in the past, and decide to do things differently next time.  That's it.  Back to neutral.  That's the new habit we are looking to practice.  

A good life is never done being lived.  Your good life is the one I am referring to.  There is no end to your good health, your supportive relationships, your connections, your hobbies, your belonging.  In the same vein, there is no end to renewing your commitment to living your good life to the best of your ability.  You deserve it.  You want it.  So keep going.

Non Scale Victories and Proud Moments

What would weight loss be like if we only considered ounces or pounds down as a mark of success?  What would the journey feel like if we did everything right but somehow, through no fault of our own, ended up staying the same--or worse--gaining over the course of a week?  It would likely be far more frustrating and defeating than what we'd like. 

Instead, let's consider the fact that there are multiple ways to measure success, improvement, behavior change, attitude adjustment and mindset shift.  By focusing on the many ways we are actually progressing, we remind ourselves that we are not a number.  We are so much more important than a number, which is always wiggling anyway. 

Taking time to regularly reflect on how things are going is a way to stay grounded and aware.  For example, consider what you are buying at the grocery store?  Does your cart look different than it used to?  What are you adding in these days?  What are you trying to leave out?  Now consider what you order in restaurants.  Are you thinking ahead and making decisions before you get there?  Are you splitting entrees or making special requests?  These things may become your new normal, but there was probably another time when things went very differently.

Now, let's consider how we celebrate our victories.  It makes no sense to celebrate good habits with bad ones, but it seems like we often fall into that trap.  Creating new ways to mark proud moments can help redefine our relationship with food.  A special activity, a new workout outfit, a manicure or massage can really mean something more when it marks personal achievement.

As kids, we had report cards to tell us how we were doing.  As adults, we get feedback in other ways.  The scale is but one way to discover how weight loss is going, but it doesn't tell the whole story.  Slowing down long enough and often enough to check in and notice what is changing, what is different and what feels better can be the report we really need to hear.  Acknowledging progress keeps us engaged in the life long journey of self improvement.  That is something to celebrate!

Self Esteem Helps, Let Me Remind You

When was the last time you thought about your good qualities, your character, your integrity, your skills, your talents, your "superpowers"?  The things that attract people to you are exactly what makes you unique and special to them.  When was the last time you received a compliment?  Maybe it was because of a nice gesture or kind word or even a remark about your outfit?  

Kind words that remind you that you are appreciated and seen for who you really are, are sparks of motivation that help boost self esteem and self confidence.  When you think well of yourself, you are likely to expect good things to happen, to channel your energy in a helpful way, to focus on positive thoughts and gain perspective.  This doesn't mean you are immune to negative events or setbacks.  It means that you have an ability to manage them and even thrive.

As kids, our parents, teachers, coaches helped us with self esteem.  They encouraged us when we were down.  They reminded us to keep going.  They celebrated our milestones and consoled us when we were down.  This boosted our self esteem.  This kind of attention enabled us to make sense of the world and ourselves.  

As adults, we don't always get the feedback we need.  That's precisely when the negative self talk can take over, and the self esteem can bottom out.  While we can't always rely on others to help, we can rely on ourselves.  We can take a moment to give ourselves credit for our good qualities.  We can evaluate that chatter in the mind--and determine whether it is helpful or not helpful.  We can choose to dismiss unhelpful thoughts.  We can remember that because we exist, we matter.  We are important to ourselves, our families, friends, communities, coworkers, etc.   We can then channel this positive self esteem to our self improvement goals.  Because we value ourselves, we naturally want good things to happen.  We believe that we are worthy of them.  We set the bar high, and we keep going.  This is not arrogant or obnoxious.  It is healthy self care.

This week, take a moment to consider your good qualities.  Why do people like you?  What kinds of compliments do you most appreciate?  What is a quality you'd like to develop?  Then, when times get tough, look at that list and let it remind you, you matter.  You are worth the effort.  You can keep going.  

Honesty in Taking a Break From Striving

Last week I was blogging about  bringing forth the best version of yourself at the moment, for the moment, knowing that it will be different from moment to moment.  This week, I am expounding on that thought with a twist.

What if the "best" version of yourself was brutally honest?  What if the "best" version of yourself for the moment looked like slowing down and taking a well-deserved break?  Is that an acceptable thought and action, to not be striving all the time to lose weight, exercise more, eat more veggies, get more rest, plan balanced meals and snacks, be kind to everyone, etc.?.  The answer, of course, is yes.  It is absolutely ok to thoughtfully consider your circumstances and realize that just holding on is good enough, and that IS honest, courageous and mindful.  That also might be a relief. 

It is not realistic to think that striving for more at all times is a way of life.  That robs us of the present moment, which is when change happens.  Even if the change we are talking about is intentionally taking a break from striving.  It is exhausting to go through life thinking we are never measuring up, that we could always do more and that we are failing if we aren't pushing it.  This is not to say we don't have our standards.  This is to point out the fruitlessness of never being satisfied.

Yes, this health coach is all about identifying smart goals, establishing action plans, holding accountability, reassessing goals, and moving forward.  However, there are times in everyone's life where taking a pause that refreshes happens to be the next right thing.  If you have been working really hard at weight loss or with a fitness program, and you have achieved some success and made some realizations, and your life circumstances are far too demanding to do anything more, then taking a break from the ferocious striving might give you more space in your mind to enjoy what you have? 

There will always be goals in life, to do lists, things to read, work to be done, projects to be tackled.  That is part of life; that is not life.  Life is waking up every day to something new.  Life is where your interests lie, your people, your talents, your hobbies, your treasures.  Life is what you choose to pay attention to.  Life is what you choose to place intention behind.  Life is what is happening now.  Yesterday is life's history.  Tomorrow is life's mystery.  Today is life's present.

This week, take note of how much energy you have to give to your pursuits.  Consider how much "gas" you have in your "me tank" to make your life happen the way you'd like.  Take note if you are putting square pegs in round holes and coming up frustrated.  A sure sign to shift course.  Take note if you are in a position to push it.  Then let whatever answers come up give you direction.  Let the answers that bubble up to the surface lead you to the next right thing. 

A pause that refreshes is just as worthwhile as a hard push to a finish line.

Consider the Best Version of Yourself for Now

This topic of compare and contrast came up this week.  It's a tough one to win because when we compare ourselves to others, we inevitably find that some people have more than we do--that some things appear easier for others--that some people have better "luck" than we do, etc.  In fact, all of that might be true.  But, that doesn't matter, because what is also true is that far, far more people have much less than we do.  Let's take a lesson from the yoga mat--and observe without commenting even in your head.  Take note without letting your mind jump to a conclusion, judgment or comparison.  It's a practice, and it will take lots of practice because the mind wants to swing from one thought to another, make sense of the world, even things out although that process is fatiguing and unfulfilling.

One thing I have learned in the past fourteen years of health coaching is that every single one of us carries plenty of burdens, visible or not.  None of us will ever be as young as we are right now.  We all can strive and succeed in getting more of out life, ie. more good health, energy, activity, risk, fulfilling relationships, self satisfaction, self confidence and self esteem.  There is nothing standing in our way other than time.  It takes time to cultivate a self-care lifestyle and preplan meals and snacks and get exercise and manage stress without eating.  It takes effort to keep going when frustration sets in.  But, wait for it, frustration is part of life and very much part of self improvement. 

So, for now, and just now, let's consider the best version of yourself.  No need to compare yourself to who you were in your 20s or what you looked like in high school.  Consider yourself whole and complete for now, in this moment.  Is it a proud moment?  Is it a disappointing one?  Is there more you'd like to have?  And, then let it rest.  Notice what it is like to consider yourself in the power of now without the depression of the past or the anxiety of the future encroaching.  This might free up your mind to listen to your heart and rediscover the best of yourself.  That is the best motivation of all.  You are worth it.

Freedom and the Fourth of July

With the Fourth of July coming up quickly, I thought it would be a good time to think about all the freedoms you enjoy by following a healthier lifestyle.  This includes freedom from what you don't want and freedom for the things you do want.

As for me, I am glad to be free from all that wasted time I spent wishing I were doing something but wasn't.  I am free from wondering what I was supposed to be doing.  Instead, I know what a healthy lifestyle looks like.  I am free to choose.  I can eat anywhere.  I can eat from all the food groups and make room for indulgences.  I am free from guilt.  All foods are on the plan, so there is no reason to feel guilty.  I am free to make a fresh start whenever I realize I want one.  What about you?  What are the freedoms you enjoy by following a healthier lifestyle?

With summer in full swing, you may be enjoying picnics, BBQs or grilling out.  We know the old standbys of burgers and brats.  What about some fun ideas I heard lately.  Kabobs?  These can be vegetable, chicken, seafood or fruit.  I heard about putting cut up watermelon in a paper cone with a small fork or frilly toothpick.  Kids and adults would love this.  It's like eating a "cone," but the "cone" is zero-point fruit.  I am a huge fan of grilled peaches.  Other grilled fruits that work are pineapple, nectarines and even bananas.  I am including my recipe for grilled Portobello Mushroom Salad.  Make it your own by adding or subbing ingredients to your liking.  Savor summer!



Grilled Portobello Mushroom Salad

Serves 4         3 SMARTPOINTS PER SALAD

4 Portobello mushroom caps with scales removed
1 Vidalia sweet onion sliced in rings
salad greens like arugula, spring greens, romaine
2 cups cherry tomatoes, halved
4 fresh thyme sprigs or 1/2 tsp dried thyme
1/2 cup reduced fat blue cheese crumbles
balsamic vinegar


Spray olive oil PAM on both sides of mushrooms and onions.  Salt and pepper both sides.  Place on grill for 5 minutes and then flip to other side and grill until done.  Remove from grill. 

Divide salad greens evenly onto four plates and put one mushroom cap with 1/8 cup of blue cheese on top.  Add onions, tomatoes and thyme.  Drizzle with balsamic vinegar.  Add more salt and pepper to taste. 

This could be a vegetarian entrée salad for 3 SmartPoints, or add grilled chicken, steak or pork tenderloin for more protein and maybe more SmartPoints. 

Be Body Positive

Believe it or not, focusing your mind on the negative aspects of your physical body is all it takes to feel bad about yourself.  If you feel bad about yourself, then you lower your expectations for yourself and maybe your life.  Of course, none of us sets out for this to happen.  Images from media, impossible standards, and the unexpected but normal changes that occur over a lifetime are real.  Comparing yourself to an ideal of yourself in your 20's isn't helpful, unless you are in your 20's. 

Instead of focusing on your body image, muscles or lack thereof, shape or size, what would it be like to focus your attention on what your body can do?  What about all that your body has done?  Start making a list of every single thing you did today because of your legs.  This includes getting out of bed unassisted.  This includes walking towards your car.  This includes walking away from danger.  What about your arms?  What have you picked up lately?  Whom have you hugged lately?  Whose hands have you shaken?  What meals have you lovingly prepared for yourself and family?  We don't need legs or arms to survive, but we are not giving them up.  We only need the torso, neck and head to survive--the parts along the spinal column and brain.  It's a humbling way to think about it. 

I am keenly aware of body appreciation when I get sick.  I recently had a headache and neck ache that wouldn't quit.  After a trip to urgent care, two trips to the ER, two Chinese massages, acupuncture and a visit to my internist, I had to stop what I was doing and let whatever strain was in there, heal.  I couldn't do my usual Orangetheory workout.  I couldn't do all I wished to do in yoga.  I couldn't ride my bike.  I was frustrated for several weeks.  The massage therapist looked at me and said, you are not 22 anymore.  Your body is not going to recover as quickly as it used to.  Another reminder to appreciate all that I have taken for granted when it comes to what these parts do for me--like producing children.  Let's not forget that either.

On our long journey of good living, good health and wellness, we benefit from a reality check once in a while.  The reality check for this week is about being body positive.  No shaming ourselves or others for being less than perfect.  Everyone is less than perfect.  Everyone is human.  Everyone would look fabulous photo shopped into their lives.  Unfortunately, that's not real.  That's not helpful.  If you are working on your health, weight loss or weight maintenance, then you are putting your energy where it belongs.  Let that be the focus of your attention as you silence the judgments and criticism.  Reconsider all that you can do with what you've got, and then make the most of it.

This one precious life is yours for the making, one moment at a time.

Savor Summer's Bounty

There is so much to love about the ease of summer from the sunny weather, the vacations that await, the downshift from school schedules and the child-like wish for a break.  As adults, most of us don't get to take the summer "off" from our jobs and certainly not our responsibilities, but there is a real part of us that might like to. 

It was the news about a lost raccoon scaling a high-rise building in St. Paul this week that reminded me we all need some good news and something positive to focus on.  This story went viral and around the world in no time.  The gift of the internet.  What about the days before technology, though?  What about summer days stretched out long before us when we felt the sun beating down, the attraction of a cool lake or pool?  What about enjoying ourselves outdoors even if that just meant sitting outside and appreciating freshly cut grass, gardens, trees in bloom and the freedom from being cold and bundled?  What about enjoying the best produce of the year because it is so fresh and maybe even local?  What about the simplicity of a bike ride.  No worries about earning enough calorie-burn to make up for indulgences later... just an easy ride? 

I may sound nostalgic, but this is part of my summer plan to really savor this time.  Living in a cold climate has made me very aware of how short the season is and how quickly it slips away.  I don't want to miss out or regret not having enjoyed myself and June, July and August. 

Just like we talk about savoring our food by slowing down and being mindful of our choices, we can savor our experiences.  My plan is to slow down my appreciation of all of the summer's bounty, to really take in the best time of year for me.  When I was walking my dog, Pippa, I noticed the strong smell of lilacs.  I looked around and didn't see any bushes at eye level, but then I looked up, and there was a lilac tree, still in bloom--albeit on the fade.  I was glad I stopped to smell it in, because it won't be but days or hours until it is gone for an entire year.  That's a long time to wait, but savoring helps.

This week, be sure to savor the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, textures of what you are eating...not to mention the beauty and bounty of summer itself.  This is healthy.  This is mindful.  This is free.  This is gratitude in motion.

Small Steps Count

It's the summer fun time of year.  When we think about how much we'd like do, where we'd like to go, how we'd like to enjoy ourselves, we begin to get a vision for what we really want. This vision tells us what's important to us and where our thoughts are.  I have a coworker on the WW Cruise who facilitates a vision board workshop so that members can create a collage of images, colors and icons to "picture" their goals and to be reminded of what they really want.  This puts intention behind the behavior. 

No matter how you go about this thought process, the facts remain the same.  We have to have a clear idea of where we are going and what we want--in order to know where to start.  We can begin with a simple weight loss question:  do you want to lose, maintain or gain weight this summer?  Depending upon that answer alone, we can walk ourselves backwards and contemplate specific steps we can take to achieve.  We can ask when are the special occasions, holidays, birthdays, vacations or staycations coming up?  Depending upon whether your plan is to lose, maintain or gain, you know what small steps you can take to make that happen.  For example, if you want to lose weight on vacation, you can think about what you have control over.  Are you in charge of where you go for meals?  Are you able to make your own meals or easily find what you need to lose weight?  Can you manage breakfasts easily but not so much at dinner?  It is this thought process that leads us to our behavior plan--small goals. 

You can use the flexibility of the Freestyle plan to set yourself up for success.  You can bank up to 4 smartpoints per day to your weekly allowance if you undereat your daily target.  You can save all of your weekly points for the great unknown? that is the weekend at the cabin.  You can get creative with zero point recipes.

Maybe your small goals are not food related.  Maybe you'd like to be walking after dinner.  Make it a priority, and stick to your plan.  I have one member who would like to just put on her tennis shoes every day.  If it leads to exercise, then fine, but if not, at least she got started.  See what I mean about small goals?  All they have to be is a bit more than what you are presently doing to count.

It all comes back to you.  What is important?  What matters?  What do you want to say about your summer when you look back on it?  How do you want to feel?  How much of how you feel is tied to your behavior? 

We are never done becoming the person we'd be most proud of.  We are never done finding something new to try to make our lives more interesting and fulfilling.  This is a good thing. 

Breathe for Your Health

We hear this everywhere, but what does it mean "just breathe."  As a yoga, qi gong and meditation instructor, I spend every class instructing on the benefits of an intentional breath, coming in through the nose and out through the nose or mouth.  This intentional breath signals the body to relax and engages the parasympathetic nervous system, i.e. the de-stressing, healing response we all benefit from.  When we use the power of our own breath, at any time, anywhere to create more calm, we become more present and intentional.  That means that we can show up for our lives how we truly wish to be. 

It's counterintuitive to think that slowing down by breathing deeply can actually be worthwhile.  However, it is true.  Some people call this mindfulness--which is basically bringing the mind to the place the body is--to the present moment.  It's a focusing exercise uniting the body with the mind, through the power of the invisible breath. 

At first, the thought of breathing deeply for even a few minutes a day may not seem like a life changer, however, through regular practice, we become more efficient breathers.  We can drop into the present moment even more easily.  Some people call this meditation. 

There are apps available that give clear instruction on how to get started.  Insight timer and Calm are two of them.  Some of these guided visualizations are specific to letting go of stress or calming down before bedtime or getting in touch with the seasons.  It doesn't really matter what you choose to focus your mind's eye on--if you use your breath to help you, you will start feeling better.  When we feel better, we are better.  We do better.  We then want more of that good feeling.  It becomes its own cyclical fulfillment.

I cannot recommend intentional breathing as a health, wellness and weight loss tool enough.  Deep breaths are not only a self regulating technique to help us in any situation, they are also an internal massage to the organs.  This is also healthy for us.  Internal organs are always working hard on their own, and adding more oxygen to the system is a boost. 

We may not be able to get a massage or go on a beach vacation, but we can harness the power of the breath to give us a lift at any time and in any place.  It is a grounding exercise, a centering pursuit and what could clearly become the easiest way to calm down.  I highly recommend it.  To your health!

Redirect Your Intention

I just returned from the Weight Watchers cruise to the Caribbean. Yes, I know how lucky I am to work on a ship.  I was surrounded by 500 fun-seeking members, eleven talented leaders and a highly skilled team from Corporate Headquarters--to say nothing of the warm sunshine, fun activities and delicious meals all pointed out.  I must say, under these circumstances, it was easy to follow the WW plan.  Yes, there were temptations, but having so many like-minded people in pursuit of more health, more fitness, more friendship, it made it feel easier. 

This was but one week of the year, and to be sure, it was not a typical week for any of us.  Most of the time, we are at home, working the WW plan on our own, counting points, planning meals and snacks and trying to make the day go well.  Stress from work, family, expectations, etc. can get in the way and complicate our choices.  It is precisely for these reasons that we sometimes find ourselves off track.  At these moments, the helpful habits have gone to sleep.  The unhelpful habits have revived, and the scale starts creeping up.

This is precisely when we redirect our intention.  We examine our thoughts and tease out the unhelpful thoughts.  We talk to a friend and create an accountability partner to keep us honest.  We go back to tracking.  We return to the meeting and share this challenge with the group.  In short, we are humbled. 

You and I are mere mortals in the game of life.  That means that sometimes things will go well and sometimes they just won't.  The beauty of living a healthy life is that we get to create it moment by moment.  There are so many choices coming our way, so that as long as they are mostly right, most of the time, we are in the sweet spot that leads to success.  And, on the other hand, when we realize we are not playing by the rules, we can simply right our course and redirect, turn around and begin again.  It's a five minute walk and a glass of water away.  That's how basic and simple redirecting can be.  No criticism, no judgment, no shame--just gently redirect your intention where you'd really like it to go. 

It is a life skill to recover from setbacks and get over your bruised ego.  We become more agile at this the more often we practice this.  A healthy life is hopefully a long one.  There will be twists and turns along the way.  No matter, we have to show up for our lives.  It feels good.  It looks good on us.  It makes us happy.  That's a life worth living.

Consider Your Success

There are lots of ways to measure weight loss success.  The one we focus the most on, the weekly weigh in, however does not tell the whole story.  While it is true, we can influence the scale, we cannot control it.  We can control behavior.  We can control taking "brain breaks" and leaving the desk for a walk.  We can control what we place in our shopping cart.  We can control when we go to sleep.

When the scale is not budging, we benefit from looking at the big picture.  A very normal part of anyone's weight loss journey involves a temporary standoff at the scale.  It is only after a significant amount of weight loss that one can even arrive at a plateau.  That means that the scale does not move for a month--even though you are still doing the same hard work you had been.  What is really happening is that the body is adjusting to its new version of normal. While at the beginning of the weight loss journey, these new habits did manage to create weight loss, it is just as true that after a while, those new habits have become your new "normal."   Bravo!

In order to break through a plateau, the body needs new information, new work, new challenges, new everything.  Mixing up meals, spices, workouts, etc. will help your body work harder to figure out what's happening.  That means the metabolism will be revving in a new way.  That is a change worth working for.

A real plateau means real weight loss (like half of what you'd like to achieve) has happened.  On the other hand, a fake plateau is one where the scale doesn't move, but it's because you aren't measuring food, or counting points or tracking.  No judging here, but a time to revisit the basics and the reasons why weight loss matters in the first place.

We evolve one moment at a time.  We are not looking for perfection, because that is not realistic.  We can definitely look at progress.  In our thoughts, with our habits, through our choices, we can expect to make progress, thereby getting closer to what we really want.  That's not a plateau--that's a breakthrough.  So, keep going. 

Calling all Co-Creators: Kindness Pays Off

We could all benefit from a word of encouragement or pat on the back or gentle redirecting from time to time.  Especially when we are working hard to make lifestyle changes, we need the boost.  Unfortunately, we often listen to the voice in our head that does not speak gently or kindly or helpfully--especially when things go off track.

For many of us, it is far easier to be kind and compassionate to a friend in need, than it is to take care of our own needs.  Maybe we have heard messages about how good it is to be a help to others and to give of yourself, etc.  However, it is only good if it is coming from a good place not a place of resentment.  Let's consider another point of view--like the possibility that being good to ourselves means that we listen to our bodies.  When we are too tired to go on, we take a break, for example.  When it is time for lunch, we stop working or driving or texting and just start eating and enjoying our food.  When we notice we are looping old messages that make us feel bad and hopeless, we replace those messages with more helpful ones and start repeating them.

Being compassionate and kind to yourself does not mean you let yourself off the hook.  That's different.  Telling yourself that you will get your taxes done someday but never actually do them is not kind to yourself at all.  It has plenty of negative consequences.  Telling yourself that if you eat all the leftover birthday cake today then you will be "good" tomorrow and not eat any because it will be gone is crazy thinking--a truly unhelpful thought that can be replaced by a helpful thought--I ate my birthday cake and loved it, but I can't have leftovers in the house because they are too tempting, and I don't want to deal with the consequences of overeating my points and feeling frustrated.  That's kind and compassionate and full of wise perspective.

Just because we are adults does not mean we have all the answers to our problems.  Just because we know better does not necessarily mean we do better.  And just because we haven't done well in the past, does not mean we can't start doing better now.  We always have the power and ability to decide how we wish to "show up" in our moments, our days, our lives.  If you want to "show up" as a strong, determined, healthy human being, then you have to take on the tasks that strong, determined, healthy human beings take on.  You have to rise to the occasion and be someone you are proud of.  You don't have to be perfect, and you are allowed to make mistakes, but you do have to do more than you think you can. 

When I am at my gym, OrangeTheory, the trainer says that the last few most difficult repetitions in the weight room are where the change happens.  When we feel like we can't go on, we are actually getting stronger.   When we force ourselves to move beyond our comfort zone physically or mentally or emotionally that's when we create what we really want. 

A buzz word of today is "co-creator."  That means that you and I, have a pact with each other, to move outside our comfort zone and co-create a bigger life, a healthier life, a fitter life, a more flattering life.  It has to come from kindness.

Balance Mostly Right Most of the Time

There is such a thing as "too much."  Too much chocolate, and you will get sick.  (I know.)  Too many drinks, and you will regret it.  Too much work, and you will be stressed.  Too much to do, and you will be overwhelmed.  There is also such a thing as "too little."  Too little time to yourself, you will be frustrated.  Too little to do, you will be aimless.  Too little healing time, you will stay sick.  This makes me think of the Three Bears.  Goldilocks would like it to be "just right." 

When it comes to food, I have heard people say that the 80/20 rule works.  That means that 80% of the time, you eat "clean."  Meals and snacks are made up of the food groups:  fruits, veggies, whole grains, lean proteins, lean dairy and its substitutes and 2 tsp. of healthy oil per day.  That also means that 20% of the time, you can indulge in extra treats like chocolate, alcohol, burgers/fries, etc.

My point of view is that "mostly right, most of the time" is the sweet spot.  We can't eat solely single ingredient foods because it is too demanding and restrictive.  We also can't start the day with donuts and croissants and then move to jumbo sandwiches and an afternoon "pick me up treat" (mine used to be two candy bars during my stressful political career in DC) and then take out dinner because there was no plan.  There can be a balance between the extremes that eventually becomes the sweet spot where we live our lives fully, but we indulge occasionally--or even regularly because we planned to.

In creating a healthy lifestyle, consider how much sleep works best for you?  Consider how much exercise works best for you?  If I overdo it at my OrangeTheory gym, I get immune suppressed and sick the next week. That's my body's response to doing too much.  Yet another reminder to me that extremes don't work.  Consider when and where having your extras matters?  Is it a drink every night or an ice cream bar after dinner?  Is it an extra added on to your meals to make your clean eating feel even better?  Your body will tell you where the sweet spot is.  Your body will still feel good even after you indulge if you do it mostly right.  Your body will tell you that you overdid it, by poor digestion, loss of impulse control or regret.

In yoga and qi gong, we talk about balancing the yin and the yang--the two extremes.  Nature isn't perfect, and neither are we.  Mistakes happen.  (April snowstorm!)  Nature seeks balance.  We are part of nature.  We can blossom and thrive  in the sweet spot that we create one moment at a time.  After a while, those moments add up to days, weeks, months and years of good health.  That's a worthy pursuit that will feel just right.

Some Effort is the Start of Something Good

One of the more challenging things for us to do nowadays is be present. Technological advances have added to our desire for speed and expectation for immediate results.  This super-charged fast pace is not normal for mere mortals like us. Our brains cannot keep up with the information overload or the expectation to be linked in and accessible at all times.  An unintended consequence of this overconnected  lifestyle is that we miss the present moment.  We miss it completely.  The body is in the here and now, but the mind travels behind or ahead or elsewhere.  It is only in the present moment that we can actually do something.  We can't go to the past and undo our mistakes, and we can't leap to the future and play out our success.  It is only in the present moment when we allow the mind to be still and to find the body that we can make a change.

People tell me all the time they want to live a "healthy lifestyle."  They define this lifestyle as being more active, eating better, losing weight, sleeping more regularly, managing stress without food, etc.  That's a tall order.  No one can do all of those things all the time.  However, most of us can stop for a moment and look around and see that the "next right thing" might take just a few short minutes.  Those minutes might lead to less stress--big bonus--and more happiness--big bonus--and more positive lifestyle changes--major bonus. 

Spending a few minutes every hour to get up and walk around, take a stretch, get more water and give your overworked and overstimulated brain a break is a good way to start.  Setting timers, using the fitbit or watch to remind you to take care of yourself makes sense.  We get caught up in the information stream, and then we miss rebooting our own battery, so to speak.

In yoga and qi gong, we talk about the balance between two polarities.  Sometimes we say the yin and the yang, the sun and the moon, the light and the dark.  While there is no perfect 50/50 equation, there can be more balance.  Think of a road trip where sitting, sitting, sitting makes us want to leap from the car and stretch, walk around, get some fresh air.  Or, consider holiday time, where there is too much entertaining with heavy foods and drinks.  We start looking forward to simpler meals and less time in crowds.  That is the yin chasing the yang for more balance.  Our bodies and minds want this.

This week, consider the brief moments of your day where you might find more balance, where you can create a brain break and get some movement into your busy day.  It will make you feel better, and when you feel better, you do better.  That is a healthy lifestyle in the making.

Cultivate a Healthy Lifestyle by Planning

A healthy lifestyle is something that happens over time, as an accumulation of efforts, choices and habits that support it.  Expecting things to go well, by being positive, is important; however it is not enough to make good things happen.  We have to have a plan and then hold ourselves accountable to the plan. 

There may be unexpected obstacles that come in our path on our way to carrying out our good plan, but that just means that we can amend the plan, make it workable given the new set of circumstances.  I believe that Plan "A" is great to have, but it is actually Plan "B" that plays out more often. 

One of the obstacles that we all encounter is "magical thinking."  This is rationalizing behavior that includes things like making excuses, underestimating calories or portion sizes or even saying--tomorrow is another day.  Rationalizing behavior gets in the way of our goals.  Instant gratification takes precedence over the big picture.  We often regret the choices that we rationalized, after the fact, when we have a clear moment to think things over. 

One way to get un-stuck is to reflect on your own "magical thinking."  Are there any thoughts that are pure rationalizations that are keeping you from getting what you really want?  Are there any hot spots in your day that frustrate you?  That's where the attention needs to be.  That's also where the opportunity for improvement comes in.  A simple tweak might be all it takes.  For example, instead  of going home after work and then losing your interest in going to the gym, plan on going to the gym directly from work so that it actually happens.  Commit to 20-30 minutes.  If you stay longer, then that's fine.  If not, you held yourself accountable.  That counts.  That feels good.  That feels like a healthy life worth living. 

Stand Up For Yourself to Yourself

One of the on-going challenges with behavior change is to keep going no matter what. The distractions of daily life, work, family, hobbies, disappointments and stress among others things inevitably get in the way to a greater or lesser degree.

When we are very clear about what we want, we are far more likely to follow through on what it takes to get it.  The inevitable set backs along the way will then appear like minor distractions instead of major problems.  We can then just keep going. 

Unfortunately, even in the best circumstances, we encounter coworkers, friends or family who aren't on the same page.  These people may be well intentioned, but their unhelpful comments, attitude or behavior can make our efforts feel a whole lot harder.  It's not fair, but it is real.  It is at holiday times, celebrations and special occasions when we could benefit from a cheerleading squad not detractors. 

Time to return to what is in the heart, i.e. what really matters.  Time to revisit why staying the course is a worthwhile pursuit.  Time to remember how far you've come, and how much you don't want to lose traction.  Time to give yourself some wiggle room, but not let yourself off the hook.  Time to remember that when others want you to do something you don't, you can stand up for yourself to yourself and then say an emphatic "no thank you." 

The more often we practice getting what we really want, the more we are likely to get it.  This life comes along but once, and it is our privilege, opportunity, job and daily grind to get the most out of it.  Happiness, contentment, self esteem, confidence, positivity all come from cultivating them.  That's the best life worth living. 

Transform Negative Thoughts to Positive Ones

Shifting mindset is a major player when it comes to succeeding at behavior change.  We can actually shift what we are thinking when we stop in our tracks and realize that our thoughts may not be based in reality.  That is to say, we can replace unhelpful thoughts with helpful ones.  A common unhelpful thought starts with "I can never do...."  or "I am always late for...." or "This is just the way I am..."   Not true, not even close to true.

The reason why this is worth considering is that the mind is hardwired to spin, constantly, with thoughts.  Take that along with the fact that 50% of your happiness is how you were born, 10% is your circumstance, and 40% is your choice, we might be swimming in negative thinking to our very own detriment.

What if we could flip this equation upside down and refuse to allow negative thoughts to take hold.  Once we realize we have one, we can challenge it with our smart mind and refute it.  For me, going to the grocery store and not looking at candy and chocolate is challenging.  I think about it.  I think about how I am not buying it.  I know where it is.  I remind myself I am not having it.  I feel a bit left out.  I know I can go to the store and not buy the stuff, but I want to go one better.  I want to go to the store and feel victorious.  I want to remind myself how many times (more than I can count since I am in the store 5 days a week) that I haven't succumbed to my old habits.  That makes me stronger than I realize.  Now, I am choosing to remind myself of that.  Voila!  I shifted my mindset.  I turned a negative into a positive.  This is making me feel better not worse and certainly not left out.  Of course, I am not 100% perfect at this, but this is nothing like the problem I used to have with candy every single time I went.

We help our friends with this all the time.  We help our children with this as well.  We break down their negative thoughts and point out why they are not helpful.  We then remind them that they are capable and can go on. We point out their stronger selves.  We benefit from doing this for ourselves.  We feel better, and then we do better.

Bouncing Back is Realistic

Goals are great, but sometimes, no matter how "SMART" they are (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely) we don't always end up where we'd like to be.  That doesn't necessarily mean the goal isn't worthwhile.  It may mean that a moment to regroup or "bounce back" is in order.  This is normal and to be expected throughout the weight loss journey, just like it is normal throughout your family life and your career.

The more I coach adult learners to keep pursuing their healthy lifestyle, the more I realize we all need the reassurance of a "do over."  We give it to our kids.  We encourage them to try, try again until they get where they want to go, but as adults, we often forget that we can do the very same thing.   We just do it for ourselves.

Throughout the day, there are so many thoughts racing through the brain.  Lots of them come in and out so quickly, but sometimes the negative ones take over and keep looping,  It is precisely at those times that we benefit from realizing, we are not at a stopping point but at a regrouping point--or even a pause.  The "pause" is gaining traction in mindfulness circles.  Books are being written about its benefits.  Maybe we are actually at an in between place, i.e. somewhere we don't want to be--but don't know and/or are not ready to move forward.  That's ok too.  Just because we are adults does not mean we have all the answers.  It only means we have all the responsibility for our actions.  Pausing in your mind, pausing in your workout, pausing between inhalation and exhalation makes life worth living.  Consider music--if there were no pauses between notes, it would sound like noise, but because of the breaks, we can enjoy it.

This blogpost is sounding a lot like "what is down is up; and what is up is down."  Being perfect is not a happy pursuit.  Being imperfect and accepting that imperfection, but getting back to goals, dreams, wishes certainly is.  That's what your lovely life is made of, after all.   

SMART Goals Start with the Best of You

Let's revisit the power of setting goals:

S   specific

M  measurable

A   achievable

R   realistic

T   timely

Let's be reminded that SMART goals start with the very best of you.  What you really want--that which comes from the heart IS the very best of you.  It also happens to be why you set goals in the first place.  Wanting more.  Living life more fully.  Feeling more energetic and revitalized.  Embodying more self confidence and self esteem.  These are just some of the reasons we strive for more. 

Wanting more is the start of getting more, but it is not enough to make it happen.  We have to be more clever about this pursuit to stay focused.  This is where having a commitment to yourself that is specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely.

For example, saying that you'd like to lose weight before spring break may have sounded good in January, but it's now March.  Spring break is coming fast.  Is this happening?  Are you actually losing?  Did your wish pass the "SMART" test?   Wishing may be the first part of getting-- but it is the very tiniest part.  An actionable plan that checks the SMART boxes is a great way to go.

Finding accountability partners to keep you on track is a big help along the way.  Checking in regularly on how things are going with someone who cares is critical.  Our accountability partners were our parents and teachers when we were growing up.  Now--who are they?  Your spouse?  Your girlfriend?  Your WW leader (YES), your Trainer, your Faith Group?  They can be anyone who cares about a part of you that you care about--and is interested in seeing you succeed. 

If every day is just like the last with the same set of frustrations and missed opportunities and stress, then life is not as rich or rewarding as it could be.  We all benefit from showing up, boldly and proudly, for what we really want.  It takes work.  And that work reaps great rewards.  That really does sound smart!

Reframing Stress

Too much to do and too little time to do it in.  Negative news stories.  Bad weather.  Sickness.  Fatigue.  Expectations.  Frustration.  Anxiety.  Sleeplessness.  These are but a few of the things that contribute to stress.  Stress is not just in our heads.  It is in our bodies too.  When we perceive a threat, our body goes into overdrive to ramp up our fight, flight or freeze response.  Adrenaline and cortisol are the hormones that start racing.  Cortisol helps us crave junk food and retain belly fat.  Being smart and knowing that we are not supposed to eat to manage stress is not enough to keep us from doing it, however.  At that point, the chemistry in the body and our emotions have taken over. 

This sounds practically hopeless, but it is isn't.  We can reframe our stress.  We can prioritize our time so that we don't waste it on things we can't possibly control.  We can get exercise (#1 healthy stress reliever) and take periodic walking breaks throughout the day to reset our equilibrium.  We can activate the stress relief response in the body (deep, meditative breaths in through the nose/out through the nose) to calm down. 

We are all too human, and when it comes to managing busy lives, we can't be perfect, and we can't do the right thing all the time, but we can get better.  When we manage our stress  proactively (exercising before work) or reactively (bad day--need time to shake it off), we are doing something so beneficial for our physical and mental health.  We take the power back.  We are no longer victims of circumstance.  We can see how strong we really are, because we are discovering new, inventive, healthful ways to cope.

This week, consider taking a technology break and see if it helps reduce your stress.  Consider taking time off from reading or watching upsetting news stories.  Make time to engage in hobbies, napping, talking to a friend, taking a walk in the warmer sunshine and see what it does to make you feel like you are in charge.  See what this might do to remind you that you do, in fact, want more from your life.  You do, in fact, deserve to have more in your life.  You can, in fact, manage a bit better, a bit more often, and get what you really want.  That's worth working for!

What Are You Really Hungry For

There are lots of reasons to eat.  From the dawn of time, it was about survival.  Hunt and gather and survive.  Food was hard to come by.  Consuming was intense when food was found.  The body then held on to the calories because food meant energy to survive.

Fast forward thousands of years, and food is so easy to get.  It looks tempting.  It can be cheap.  It is socially acceptable to consume practically everywhere.  Instead of thinking of food as a means of survival, we think of it as a pleasure to behold, a way to pass time, a coping mechanism, a mindless habit, something we deserve for dealing with a long, hard day. Unfortunately, our body still wants to hold on to the calories, because it hasn't gotten the evolutionary message that says--no worries--more fuel is readily available. This poses a major health problem contributing to diabetes, heart disease, obesity, some cancers, sleep apnea and at the very least inactivity. 

There are a few ways of looking at hunger.  One way is to identify it as internal, meaning that it is a physical problem that can be solved by eating.  Breakfast, lunch, dinner and the snacks in between are meant to be fuelers and hunger-satisfiers.  Those are the times when we can consider the foods groups, i.e. fruits, veggies, whole grains, lean proteins, dairy, and 2 tsp of healthy oil to solve this problem. 

A different kind of  hunger is external and can be associated with urges and opportunity.  Maybe you just ate breakfast, but then you go to work and find donuts in the break room.  They look appealing.  This is really an urge that you can actually do something about.

Today's world is full of temptation.  We can't control free samples, party buffets, restaurant menus or candy dishes.  We can control our behavior.  The first plan of attack is to stay fueled.  Eat at regular intervals, from a few food groups at a time if possible.  A protein, carb and healthy fat is considered the trinity of satisfaction.  That could be a peanut butter sandwich on whole wheat bread and a piece of fruit, for example.  Eat every three hours so that you can avoid getting too hungry or "hangry.".  External cues will be nearly impossible to resist when your hunger is primal.  The next thing to consider is that food that isn't planned, that isn't at a meal or snack time may not be worth the points?  Maybe you can avoid the situation altogether by brushing past the free samples at the stores because you are chewing gum and focusing on shopping not eating?

This sounds like work.  It is work.  It is the most worthwhile work you can do because you get closer to what you really want every time you make an effort, no matter how big or how small that effort may be.  Now that's sounding more like a dream come true.

Take Weight Watchers With You Wherever You Go

This post is coming a bit late because I just got back from a 24 hour whirlwind trip to New York City.  I got to see the WW Corporate Office.  (Sorry, no Oprah sightings)  I was there along with four other WW cruise staff and three WW leaders who traveled the cruise as members, to film a video promotion about the upcoming WW cruise (May 5-12) in the Caribbean. 

I was reminded yet again how easy it is to travel and eat out when you are with like-minded people. Going out to a restaurant was easy because the coordinator chose a place that had a wide ranging menu with lots of healthy options.  Second, we all understood each other.  We are all on FreeStyle, and we all wanted it to work.  Third, no judging.  My friend, John, ordered fries with a burger but no cheese.  That's the freedom that comes from FreeStyle.  You can work your points and your zero points to make room for what matters. That got me to thinking about how much everything feels better when you are with like-minded people. 

When we went to the WW Corporate Office, I saw two pieces of fruit on lots of desks.  Smart.  There was fruit by the free coffee bar (yes, fancy) and WW snacks around.  That doesn't mean every single person is counting SmartPoints, but it certainly was easy to do if you tried.  When lunch was brought in, there were water bottles, two kinds of vegetarian salads plus grilled chicken strips on the side and balsamic vinaigrette.  Smart again.  I so appreciated the ease of doing the right thing.

We need accountability partners.  We need like minded people wherever we go to help us along.  I count on my OrangeTheory coaches to keep my workouts interesting, fun and worth my time.  I count on my fellow WW coworkers to weigh me and give me advice and help make sense of life-long journey of good health.  I count on my inner circle of family and friends to tell it to me straight.  I appreciate that.

If we are going to create a healthy lifestyle, we are going to do it one moment at a time, one day at a time...and we are going to need help and encouragement along the way.  We all benefit from the kindness, advice, coaching and camaraderie that comes from knowing we are not alone at this. 

That is something we can all manage.