Be Kind--To Yourself First

Nobody is perfect.  Not even you on your best day.  We are all human, and we are all capable of falling down from time to time--even when it comes to things we really want.  Consider weight loss or exercise, for example.  We want it to happen, but that isn't always enough to make it happen, and it certainly isn't enough to keep it up over time.  Life gets in the way.  Sometimes our own self defeating thoughts get in the way.

Having an all or nothing standard of perfection is one of the biggest road blocks that actually keeps us from getting what we want.   When we set ourselves up for something that no human being could achieve, and we stick to that goal despite temporary setbacks or new information along the way, we make life more difficult than it needs to be.  We deny our own humanness and create our own disappointment. 

Life doesn't need to be like this.  We can challenge that black and white thinking and notice that we don't expect others to behave like robots--perfection or nothing.  We can identify where those impossible standards might have come from and dismiss them.  We can check in on a regular basis with the voice in our heads that sends us unhelpful messages.  We can consider what we would say to a friend?  We can simply choose to begin again.  DO OVER, and let go of the past.

This is a critical skill--practicing self compassion, which simply means that you are kind to yourself in thoughts, words, actions.  You value yourself enough to work on this.  This is not to say that you let yourself off the hook.  Oh--tomorrow is another day--I'll get on track later.  That's not self compassion.  That's wishful thinking.  Self compassion is present moment awareness that kindness starts now.  You accept the fact that you aren't perfect, and you accept that others aren't either.  By doing this, you have broken down those imaginary road blocks that you don't need to get over or through.  You can navigate more easily, with the flow of things.  You can recover and reevaluate your progress with kinder eyes.  You can refrain from judging yourself harshly by an impossible standard.  You can increase your self esteem.  And then, you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep going.