The Most Wonderful ? Time of the Year

The parking lots are full.  The grocery store has people roaming the aisles looking for ingredients they only buy once a year.  The work doesn't stop at home or in the office.  In Minnesota, we have a snowstorm brewing.  It's December holiday time.  I am torn between the normal things that have to go on, like going to urgent care and knocking this sinusitis out--and the Christmas things I'd like to be doing.

I am hearing Christmas carols that sing "it's the most wonderful time of the year."  Hmm.. Maybe... for some people.  It depends how you define "wonderful" I guess.  What if it isn't "wonderful" at all?  What if this time of year is bringing up a lot of grief and family stress and sadness?  That's not wonderful.  My college friend of 30 years just lost her husband to pancreatic cancer.  Six weeks from diagnosis to death.  She cannot wait for this "wonderful" time to be over.  On the other hand, my 80 year old dad who has never been sick a day in his life just had surgery for pancreatic cancer.  He wouldn't let any of his five children even know about it until it was over!  He said he is looking forward to the masters golf tournament at his club in the spring.  He is the senior golf champ.  Hmm.   He'd just like to be able to get out of a chair and into a bed on his own. 

It's not all gloom, though.  I personally enjoy a little of the hustle and bustle when I don't have to "do" anything.  I can go out and see people in a good mood mostly.  I like the lights, my tree, the decorations, the music.  I loved Christmases when my girls were little.  Seeing them light up at all the excitement was pure joy.  I can recall a last minute gift of a $10 cardboard box at Target that you assemble to make a house.  Lilia and Natalie loved that last minute gift more than any other.  Coloring it, getting in it.  Simple pleasure.

My girls are 19 and 16 now.  They want money and gift cards.  Things have changed.  Now, my favorite week of the year is between Christmas and New Years.  It is the week that stands still.  Expectations for gifts, entertaining, meals and pleasing the family are finished.  Fewer people are working.  It's a quasi-vacation week where not much is expected, and the world goes into slow motion.

No matter what time of year it is, life goes on.  The sun will surely rise and set again today, and we rise with it.  If this is a great time of year for you and your family, then you are making the most of all of it.  You should.  If, on the other hand, you are facing a challenging time, you are doing what you can to get through it.  And you don't need to make any excuses. 

Let your gaze go down and inward, as we say in yoga.  Look into your heart and see what its true desire is.  Whether it is for fun and festivities and packages under the tree, or whether it is for giving to others who have far less, or whether it is for finding a balance between the commercialism of the season and the true meaning of giving.  When we live based on what the heart has to say, we find more happiness and balance.  This can only be good for our health and wellness.  When we are happier, we want more good things for ourselves and others.  When we are listening to what the heart says, it is far more likely that our intentions and our actions are aligned.

Think.  Feel.  Do.  First we think something is a certain way.  Then we feel that it is a certain way.  Then we act on that feeling.  Perception is reality for everyone.  If this is a wonderful time for you because you have your family and friends around--then it is.  If this is a crazy time for you because of your family and friends--then it is. 

No matter what happens over this holiday time, come back to the treasure of what is in your heart.  It will guide you to make more choices that bring you more happiness.  It was there all along.

Mid-Holiday Month Check In

The month of December and all the festivities are in full swing.  Treats, parties, office pot lucks, outings, shopping and celebrations abound.  It is time for a check in and see how things are going. 

How do you feel?  In your body?   Are you getting quality sleep?  Are you going to bed at a reasonable time and waking up feeling rejuvenated?  Are you getting steps in and/or consistent exercise?  Exercise is the stress buster we all need this time of year.  Are your meals and snacks keeping you satisfied, or is the cookie tray and candy dish calling your name?  Are you finding yourself thirsty?  We require just as much hydration as any other time of year.  Sugar and carb overload makes us thirsty.

How are you in your mind?  Are you thinking clearly?  Are you focused as you go about the day?  Are you distracted or confused or not sure what to do next? 

And then finally, how are you living?  Are you engaged in what matters to you?  Are you saying yes to holiday gatherings that matter and no to those things that don't?  Are you saying yes to time for self care like exercise, a weekend nap, quiet time to enjoy?  Are you saying no to things that bring stress like unrealistic expectations? 

One of the things that I really enjoy is sending Christmas cards.  I have to organize a photo of the girls--which is often a major problem.  This year I am in luck, because we have a great photo from my sister's wedding in April.  Getting those cards printed and addressed and sent out before the 25th should happen.  This is a job, but I really like doing it.  I add this to my list of December activities that brings me holiday happiness.  Shopping, on the other hand, is not my favorite thing.  Every time I go out, I end up finding more things for myself.  NOT THE POINT.  Then I feel bad that I ended up with stuff I didn't intend to buy.  Then I do not feel like I am in the Christmas spirit.  This creates stress, so I remind myself to slow down and focus on what really matters.  I don't need to go to the mall again.

By having periodic check ins with ourselves, we get to slow down and take a look inside and answer our very own questions.  How are you now?  If you are not how you'd like to be, then now is the time to regroup and adjust accordingly.  Life is imperfect, and our expectations for our lives to go a certain way are just as imperfect.  That doesn't mean we don't set goals and strive for more.  It means that we realize that there is such as thing as "enough."  There is such a thing as enough gifts, enough cookies, enough distractions, enough procrastination, enough unreasonable expectations, enough decorating.

Give yourself an opportunity to slow down and reflect on what's important in your life, for example--your people, your health, your job, your faith, your pets, your hobbies, your volunteer work.   No matter what month it is, these "gifts" are the ones we do not want to do without. 

FreeStyle is Here

This week, Weight Watchers launched an innovation to the SmartPoints program.  Say hello to "FreeStyle."  This is an enhancement to what is already working so well for so many.  Counting SmartPoints is still the basis of the program.  Calories, saturated fat grams, sugar grams and protein grams are calculated the same way they have always been.  What's new is that there is an abundant list of zero-points foods that do NOT have to be tracked.  This enables members who feel burdened by tracking to feel freedom from tracking.  The foods that make it to the zero-points list are non-bingeable, very healthy foods with high nutrient content.  This list includes corn, peas, fish, shellfish, non-fat plain yogurt, beans, lentils, tofu, eggs (yolks and all),  boneless/skinless chicken and turkey breast. 

As someone who has been following FreeStyle for months, I can say that the biggest delights I have found include zero-points vegetarian chili.  I am a pescaterian/vegetarian, and to know that my chili went from 5-7 points down to 0 points is huge.  I am also training myself to eat non-fat plain Greek yogurt with cinnamon and fruit.  No honey.  All of a sudden, that filling snack becomes 0 points instead of 3-5.  This makes a big difference to me.  Now, you can actually have a zero point dinner that doesn't stink.  Grilled salmon with lemon pepper and dill, corn on the cob, salad with balsamic vinegar, baked peaches on top of plain Green yogurt.  All that was zero.  Wow!

How can this work?  How can Weight Watchers members lose weight if they are suddenly eating these foods and not counting them?  The daily SmartPoints target has gone down.  Everyone is now looking at a lower target.  The program takes into consideration that there are a large number of zero point foods that will still be eaten, like the zero point dinner I referenced above. We have always done this with our zero point fruits and vegetables, and it has worked.  The FreeStyle program has gone through extensive testing with proven results.  If that didn't happen, we wouldn't be doing it.

More flexibility?  Yes, we have that too.  Now, you have the option of carrying up to 4 SmartPoints per day into your weekly target.  Once the week is up, those points are use it/lose it.  However, just knowing that you have the ability to bank points for the weekend or a party or a happy hour creates more livability.

These enhancements are all member-driven.  The science of weight loss hasn't changed since we switched to SmartPoints two years ago.  The leading cause of obesity comes from the overconsumption of saturated fat and sugar.  The foods that we crave when we are stressed typically include saturated fat and sugar.  The foods that are easy to overeat typically include saturated fat and sugar.  We don't even need to be physically hungry to indulge in these foods.  Therein lies the problem.

In contrast, the foods that are now included on the zero points list are mainly full of protein.  Protein solves a hunger problem.  Protein repairs tiny muscle tears that result from exercise.  Protein is a power-house when it comes to weight loss.  Protein that you chew is very satisfying.

What hasn't changed?  Points for booze, sweets, whole grains, saturated fats... those foods are still calculated the very same way.  Tracking is still important, but now there is an option to NOT track a whole new list of zero point proteins and corn and peas. 

As a leader for the past fourteen years, I have seen many iterations of the Weight Watchers program. I can confidently say that we have always changed for the better.  We always get more when we innovate.  And, so again, we do with FreeStyle.

There is a lot going on this month with holidays and weather and vacation time off.  This program innovation is a gift from Weight Watchers to you to help you kick start your weight loss, re-engage with the program, create more flexibility with your holiday eating and to get more of what you really want. 

When I see you in person this week, we will go over more details and look at the newly published materials.  You will see enhancements to your app on your weigh in day.  Personally, I love the graphics.  They bring a lightness to the business of accountability. 

At the end of the day, the single thing all Weight Watchers members have in common is the desire for MORE.  More good living.  More good health.  More confidence.  More longevity.  More fitness.  More pride.  More control.  More power.  More quality of life.  We earn those gifts one day at a time. 

Cruising with Weight Watchers Members

I promised I would blog about the Weight Watchers Caribbean cruise on the MSC Divina from November 11-18, but I had a very hard time getting consistent internet access in the middle of the ocean.  I was not alone.  Here are some highlights of the trip that I'd like to share with everyone who wonders about what thisfloating community experience was like. 

There were 850 Weight Watchers members from around the US and Canada who participated.  There were twelve WW leaders selected from 600 applicants who worked the programming on this trip.  There were five staff members from the NY corporate headquarters who directed and managed all of this for months behind the scenes and then on board.  This included Gary Foster, our Chief Scientific Officer.

Every day of the cruise was jam packed with activities, lectures, fitness, zumba dance parties, FOCUS workshops, FLOW classes, WW meetings, weigh ins and on-on-one coachings, specially prepared Weight Watchers meals in the dining room and buffet.  Members could participate in any and all of the WW programming plus attend anything that the ship offered to its 3,000 other guests who were aboard.  There was non-stop entertainment in the evenings from shows, live music, dancing, George Clooney movies, zumba under the stars, WW dance party farewell, etc.

There were three days that the ship docked for several hours in Antigua, St. Thomas and the Bahamas.  Members could then take part in an excursion like swimming with sting rays, sitting on a beach, touring the island with a guide, zip-lining or just souvenir shopping.  When that got tiring, people came back to the ship and relaxed by one of the many pools. 

As someone who has never cruised before, I didn't know what to expect.  For starters, I went prepared with my acupressure bracelets and medicine for sea sickness.  The first two days were choppy for me, so I was taking my medicine and balancing myself in the shower.  After that, it was smoother sailing--no more medicine needed.  Make no mistake, you definitely knew you were on a ship.  This ship has sixteen floors, and my "state room" was on the eighth floor.  I took the stairs 95% of the time.  The dining room was on five and six.  The buffet and pool were on fourteen.  The Focus workshops were on sixteen.  The Flow classes were on seven or sixteen.  Getting a lot of steps in was not a problem.  From stem to stern, it was a lot of walking and stepping. 

I  was working most of the time, leading my own Focus workshops, teaching chi flow, weighing and doing coachings or monitoring my fellow leaders' classes.  I did have time in between to attend activities too.  I sat in on a panel discussion where lots of "behind the scenes" questions were answered.  Why are fitness classes mostly held at 7-9AM?  Because the ship will only allow us to have private access to those rooms in the morning.  How is the food managed?  This was one of the most interesting topics.  The MSC Divina cruiseline is the only line that would agree to cooperate with WW and prepare our food according to our recipes.  The WW nutritionist was onboard as was one of our recipe developers.  The chefs had 100 WW recipes to work with, and they were each taste tested by the nutritionist and recipe developer before every single meal.  Quality control and portion control in full force!  One of the nicest things for me was to see the SmartPoints listed on every single food item.  Both the dining room and the buffet were full of delicious, portion controlled healthy options.  No one could possibly call this "diet food."  If you didn't know these were WW recipes, you would have assumed they were delicious offerings.  In fact, if there were leftovers from WW service, they offered them in the regular buffet to non-WW passengers.  No complaints.  There were also WW cocktails available.

Bringing Focus workshops and Flow classes to so many members was a real gift to me. This is why I was onboard. Seeing so many friendly people making connections and forming relationships was amazing.  Some people who had never cruised before ventured solo on this experience and quickly found like minded people from all over the US and Canada.  Talk about living beyond the scale!  Taking chances and risks and moving outside your comfort zone in such a supportive environment was quite an accomplishment for many members and leaders.

And what about the whole point of having an experience like this?  Building community and creating experiences for our members is what it is all about.  We are so familiar with our supportive meeting room staff and fellow members.  We know their stories and feel their pain and celebrate their milestones.  We also know from "Connect" there is a greater community of fellow WW members doing what we are, counting points, getting over little boo-boos, and living life fully one day at a time.  To be in person, up close, sharing even more experiences with our great community is really something special. Someone got to lifetime on the cruise.  Talk about a story to share when he got back home to his regular meeting.  To sit down in a lovely dining room and be able to easily order fabulous food and WW wine (Cense) and know the points without worrying or wondering was magical.  Talk about feeling supported and cared for.  If you didn't want to order from the WW menu, no problem--you could order from the regular menu.  If you didn't want to choose from the WW buffet, no problem--you could choose from any of the other options.  I chose the best of the best from several options myself.  As a vegetarian, I got treated to stewed tomatoes with my scrambled eggs, baked apples with no sugar, lemon ricotta WW pancakes, fruit galore at every meal....

We all need to refresh and renew our commitment to ourselves and to our goals.  This is what keeps the program exciting.  Making positive changes with foods, activities, friends, etc. is what makes the program liveable.  We are on a life-long journey of good health and happiness.  And so we keep going.

We are about to embark on yet another change...an enhancement to our SmartPoints plan which is built solely upon member feedback.  The science of weight loss hasn't changed since the two years we switched from PointsPlus to SmartPoints.  The leading cause of obesity is the overconsumption of sat fat and sugar.  Those are the foods we overeat so easily, and those are the foods we eat because of stress, emotions and sleeplessness.   Stay tuned in your meeting to find out about how the program can be more flexible for you.  December 3 is the kickoff.

I learn so much from my members.  As a leader who has worked with WW for almost fourteen years, I am amazed how much I can still learn.  I am humbled to be part of such a vast group of like-minded people from all walks of life pursuing their goals, reaching for more, creating a better life one day at a time.  If you are wondering whether a WW cruise is right for you-- there are options to consider.  We are sailing in May 2018, August 2018 and November 2018 from Miami to the Caribbean and Mexico.  My members in Minnesota are asking for a land-based "cruise" experience whereby we would meet at a resort for a four-five day WW experience to try new things and share in this greater community.  Stay tuned. 

Try Something New

With the cold, dark days, we are naturally looking for more comfort.  Warmer clothes, "comfort" foods and hot beverages fit the bill.  Since 80% of weight loss is actually created through food choices, it is incredibly important to consider which foods are on the menu and should be highlighted and which foods should be in the margins, so to speak.

Choosing high protein foods is a smart way to go when it comes to satisfying hunger and limiting calories and Smartpoints.  We all know about animal proteins, the ones we probably grew up on.  Meat! However, there are also vegetarian/vegan proteins we can consider too.  This other protein source is often cheaper than animal protein, shelf stable and easy to incorporate in hearty cold weather meals.

Let's consider beans and lentils for instance.  We can add beans to soup, salad, chili and stew.  We can even create a side dish out of these tasty legumes.  Beans contain vitamins, minerals and more protein than animal proteins per serving.  That's a deal in the weight loss world.

Of course these interesting facts and tips are not enough to convert anyone who doesn't want to give them a try.  In fact, we need to be risk takers as Weight Watchers members and try something new.  With food, with exercise, with attitude--we all benefit from making a change, which creates a "thrill" for the body and mind.  By giving something new a try, we broaden our horizons and open ourselves up to more possibilities.  We don't know that we don't like black bean soup if we haven't ever tried it.  We don't know that vegetarian proteins won't satisfy unless we prepare them with some care and give it a go.

This brings us to what really matters, i.e. what is in your heart.  What you really want from your life is what matters.  What motivates you to get up and out of the house on a cold morning is what matters.  What makes you want to go home and see your family at the end of the day is what matters.   What makes you plan ahead and say NO to failure and YES to the future is what matters.

This week, consider trying something new--a new recipe or a new preparation of something you already enjoy (baked peaches, anyone?).  This will get you out of a food rut, surprise your body and tempt your taste buds with something different and create the spark that comes from making a change. 

You deserve the best life you can live.  One day at a time, one meal at a time, one good effort at a time--you can create the life you were meant to live.  Start now.

Sleep is Underrated

Gone are the days of bragging about living on little sleep.  Instead, we now know that quality sleep, as in uninterrupted sleep, for six plus hours per night is essential to good health.  Important recovery takes place on a cellular level when we sleep.  The mind has a chance to unravel and stop processing in a cognitive way.  The dream state takes over.  The body also needs a break.  Stress and fatigue are stored in the body.  Time to reset.  

So, what gets in the way of a good night?  Or, might I rephrase--what are things that we allow to get in the way of a good night?  I am not referring to parents of new babies who live through those wakeful nights.  There isn't a choice there.  You just survive it the best you can and grab a nap whenever you can.  I am talking about the rest of us with stress, jobs, interests, commitments, responsibilities, worries, etc.  I am talking about those of us who remain stimulated by screens or plugged in to work until far too late in the evening, or those who watch Netflix instead of going to bed, or those who eat too late at night to digest properly and then can't sleep, or those who haven't managed stress throughout the day so that the tension starts screaming the minute the lights go out.  

Living a healthy life means that we look at all that contributes or detracts from that life.  This includes what is known as "sleep hygiene."  How well do you set yourself for quality sleep?  Establishing a routine, a curfew for screens, quiet activity with low lighting and reduced noise can be a big help.  Keeping the bedroom free of work and signs of work so that the bed chamber is a place to relax and restore, signals to the body that there is nothing to do here but sleep.  Piles of laundry, dry cleaning and bill pay will make much harder to let go.  Black out shades or curtains send the body the message that nothing is going on here, so close your eyes and go to sleep.  Keeping the temperature in the room on the cooler side with comfortable blankets and pillows makes being in bed restorative and inviting.  

Hormones do not work correctly when we do not sleep well.  Our bodies crave more sweets and don't get satisfied with healthy foods when we are sleep deprived to say nothing of poor attention span, irritability and bad temper.  Face it, we all need our rest.  Take a page from the plant and animal world, restore at night.

This week, with daylight saving time coming to end, rethink your sleep.  Take a look at what you can do to improve.  Consider what you can do to manage stress throughout the day so that it doesn't keep you from falling asleep or keep you awake long after you do get to sleep.  

We need energy to keep our day powered.  We get that from sunlight, from healthy foods, staying hydrated, exercising and good, quality sleep.  

Night night.

Emotional Eating--Transforming Negative Energy into Positive

We are all guilty of emotional eating.  Whether we get caught up in the stress of every-day life or we get carried away in the excitement of the moment.  With our steady stream of food opportunities, snacks, samples and workplace treats, this is a real problem.  So much of these "extras" are high fat and high sugar, which is where real weight gain comes from.  These foods are also easy to overeat.  Furthermore, these high calorie foods "make us feel better" for the moment so that makes us turn to them even more.

We know we aren't supposed to sit down with a jumbo bag of chips after a long day, but that is not enough to keep us from doing it.  So, what else can we do to become more aware of ourselves in the moment and make small changes to manage the emotions?  It depends on the situation.  If you are going to a happy occasion like a wedding, Octoberfest party or holiday gathering, you know you will be socializing with friends and family waiting to see you.  Focusing on the friends, the camaraderie and the fun while steering clear of the buffet could help.  What about the afternoon slump at work or a lull in activities at home on evenings and weekends?  Again, slowing down long enough to ask yourself what is really happening?  Are you bored, frustrated, in transition, procrastinating, lonely, stressed out?  Those are feelings that no amount of food can manage.  This is where we purposefully stay away from high calorie treats and think about an appropriate response to the problem.  If you are bored, you need an activity.  Eating doesn't count as an activity.  If you are lonely, you need more than Ben and Jerry to keep you company.  You need to reach out to friends and reconnect.  If you are stressed from work, you need to manage that stress by dumping it out through exercise or meditation or something much more fulfilling.

I have been studying chi gong in order to get my 200 hour certification.  Chi gong is a mind/body exercise where the breath links the mind with the body, as in yoga.  First the mind thinks something, and then the body does something.  In my training, Master Lee Holden talks about the power of transforming negative energy into positive energy.  We can use this to help with weight loss and weight maintenance.

What kind of energy are you living in?  What is swirling around you?  Are you in a good mood, feeling positive and clear?  Are you in a negative mood, feeling defeated or frustrated and distracted?  Are you in a place of nothing too good or too bad, but you can't quite put a finger on it?  Whatever quality of energy in you and around you speaks to you.  For example, when you are on top of the world, things are organized and going well, you smile more, pay compliments to others and speak in a positive way about things.  Your own energy is bursting, and you are using it for the good.  On the other hand, when you are depleted and not getting quality sleep and nursing a sick child, you are running on empty.  Your body says--slow down and take a nap.  Your mind says--you can't keep this up.  Your stress says--eat junky food.

Seeking a more balanced lifestyle where we are aware of how we are feeling, what we are doing, where we want to be going is a worthy pursuit.  Seeking helpful ways to transform negative energy into positive energy puts us in the driver's seat.  We then feel calmer and more in control.

Emotions are constantly shifting.  Whether we believe it or not, we are all emotional beings who feel things from the joy of a compliment to the negativity of criticism.   However, as people looking for more good living, more health, more vitality and more confidence, we need to slow down and rethink how we are going to manage our precious feelings and our unpleasant ones.  We need to consider how we can shift our mindset and then our behavior so that food doesn't seem like the answer to coping with stress or high emotions.  It's a lifelong pursuit because every day is different, posing its unique set of challenges.  However, the better we get at transforming negative energy into positive, the more weight loss we can create and maintain.  The more balanced living we can enjoy.

Get Back to Basics

When life becomes overwhelming, and it's hard to focus, that is precisely the time to return to the basics, to keep it simple and real.  When it comes to food, that means start with the food groups which are:  fruits, veggies, whole grains, lean protein and protein substitutes, dairy and dairy substitutes and healthy oils. The single ingredient foods from these groups are the most nutrient dense, filling, healthy and low in calories, sugar, saturated fat and sodium.  A balance of the food groups creates satisfied eating, improves the chance for weight loss, reduces cravings for sugar and aids digestion.

Food has long been valued for its medicinal properties.  For example, in traditional Chinese medicine, depending on the ailment and the organ, there is a corresponding food to consume to create healing and balance.  Fast forward thousands of years, to my own childhood when my grandmother called chicken noodle soup "Jewish penicillin."  We aren't Jewish, but the soothing comfort of hot soup that is simple and satisfying no matter what religion you are can do the trick.  This is another version of going back to basics, i.e. what is simple is what will often work best.

Over the years, the science of weight loss and nutrition has evolved.  So has our eating.  We know things now that we had no clue about before.  My grandfather was a diabetic.  In the 70's, he was given a baked potato instead of french fries because that was thought to be healthier for a diabetic.  The fact is that while the baked potato wasn't fried, it had just as many carbs as the french fries and was not really any "healthier" for a diabetic.

More recently, there has been a major misunderstanding about cholesterol.  We all have good cholesterol and "bad" cholesterol in our system.  Certain foods are known to add to the "bad" cholesterol--namely saturated fats.  We now know that the overconsumption of saturated fat (and sugar) is the leading cause of obesity in the world not cholesterol.

Moderation in all things--including moderation itself is the key.  The sweet spot in our eating comes from choosing mostly healthy foods most of the time with a dash of extras thrown in to keep us interested and satisfied.  By filling up on the basic food groups, our bodies get what they want and need--fuel.  By adding in a few treats now and then, our minds get what they want--something more exciting.  By finding a balance, we enjoy life more fully.  This is the "sweetest" spot of all.

Where Does Time Go

We all have the same twenty-four hours in a day.  Some days it feels like the day is just flying by--in a good way.  Other days, it feels like the day is barely moving--in a bad way.  When we are engaged in activities that please us, with people we enjoy, our impression is that time is moving too fast.  When we are unhappy or dealing with difficult jobs or waiting in the emergency room with someone very ill, our impression is that time is crawling.  

How we value our time is another aspect of how we perceive its passing.  For some, time IS money.  

Those people are not "wasting" their time on things that aren't financially profitable.  On the other hand, there is a book titled "Your Money or Your Time" meaning what do you value more?   Perception is reality.  We get to decide.

As adults, we have so many responsibilities from work, family activities, house projects, financial obligations, self care--it leaves little time for sleep, fun, hobbies or entertainment.  However, we all benefit from seeking and creating a more balanced distribution of our time.  That means that more often than not, we find time to balance our responsibilities with a burst of "ME TIME" with no guilt attached. Even a ten minute walk without the pressure of answering the phone can refine the day. Going to bed, although there is laundry to do, might also serve to add balance.  Eliminating time wasters like too much social media can also help reclaim valuable "ME TIME."

Creating balance allows us to de-stress.   In the technology age, we suffer from chronic stress that keeps cortisol flowing.  Cortisol makes us crave junky foods, store fat around the middle and experience more ailments, viruses, depression and anxiety.  We owe it to ourselves to look at our priorities and make sure that we place high value on "ME TIME."  In doing so, we bring the powerful and restorative good energy back to where it belongs.  We feel better.  We become more positive.  We didn't gain more time, but we did redistribute it more effectively.  That counts.

Self improvement takes focus, desire, effort and precious time.  Make time so that you can succeed at what you prioritize this week.  

We All Need Reasons

When we hear self improvement advice, it often sounds great, and in fact, we can't really argue with it. Drink more water.  Go to bed earlier at night.  Take the stairs.  Eat half at restaurants. Call your mother. The list goes on.  The problem comes from the fact that we can't do everything all the time.  That's not reasonable.  We only have so much energy to give.  There is only so much time.  We have to concentrate our efforts towards the things that matter most.

Therein lies the issue.  What matters most?  What deserves our attention now?  What will really please us?  It comes down to our own personal desires.  With weight loss and behavior change, we need to keep digging deep to find reasons to keep going.  We need to find worthwhile reasons that really matter to NOT have two glasses of wine when everyone else seems to be.  We need to find compelling reasons to get up early to exercise or to stay late to exercise or to skip lunch with coworkers to exercise. It comes down to how we want to live.  These reasons don't have to be the same every day or even moment to moment.  In fact, sometimes when we feel really defeated, the only reason we can find to keep going is that we refuse to give up. That's a great reason.

Refuse to give up on yourself.  Refuse to settle for less than what you really want just because it might be taking a while to get there.  Refuse to be distracted by everyone else's needs instead of considering your own.

Refuse to give up.  That's your reason.

Shift Your Mindset by Leading with the Heart

A big part of improving performance, changing behavior, achieving goals and persisting comes from what's in the heart.  The heart is true unto itself.  It doesn't have to defend.  It doesn't have to make sense--like emotions--it can just be what it is.  The mind, on the other hand, is the governor of actions. The mind can be rational and can listen to the truth coming from the heart.  The body eavesdrops on the mind.  The body will follow the intention of the mind if at all possible.  This is why we hear--if you think you can, you are right; if you think you can't, you're right too.  It's the will of the mind at work.

Of course, there are things that we have to do in the course of the day, week, month, year that might have nothing to do with what is in the heart.  We don't want to be home sick (that's the body's way of talking and saying: REST).  We don't want to do certain jobs at work or home because we don't like them (counting inventory and cleaning bathrooms for me).   We don't want to be stuck in traffic.  But, that's just part of living life.  We do those things and benefit from making the most of them because they make life work better.  It's part of the deal.  

We all know, in our mind, that we should eat less, move more, drink lots of water, consume less sugar, saturated fat and alcohol.  Knowing this in the mind, is not enough to make it happen though.  We have to dig deeper than that.  By digging deeper we get down to what we really want.  Here comes the heart. Then the body can follow.  It sounds easy, but of course, there are multitudinous barriers to success. People, stress, workload, unexpected obstacles, traffic, illness, fatigue, lack of enthusiasm and negative self talk get in the way.  That's why it is so important to be sure the mind is set straight.  The body is listening and will follow along.

This is the week to SHIFT the mindset and see what might happen.  Pay attention to what the mind is meditating on.  95% of our thoughts are actually the same ones we had yesterday.  How boring.  Let's create a shift.  I admit, there is an element of fear in actually getting what you want.  I agree, there is an element of fear in not ever getting what you want.  There is misery in never even trying.  

Lead with the heart.

Govern with the mind.

Listen to the body and see what it can do.

We Need Feedback From Our Tribe

I park in an underground parking garage one day a week for an early morning Weight Watchers meeting downtown in Minneapolis.  I have been doing this for about six months.  The same parking attendant, Dan, has been there nearly every single week.  He is a smiling, friendly presence every time. This week he approached me as I was leaving and asked me if I would sign his birthday card.  He said it was it was his birthday yesterday, and he likes his friends to sign his cards because he saves them and reads them by the fireplace.  He said his wife thinks he is crazy, but this means something to him.

You couldn't have surprised me more.  I have never had anyone ask me to sign their own birthday card. I wrote a note on the back (the inside of the card was full) telling Dan that I appreciate his smile and his friendly demeanor, etc.

An hour later, I was teaching yoga.  At the end of class I usually read a quote or short affirmation from a book.  As usual, I did that, and then two yogis came up to me to take a photo of the book and the affirmation.  They explained to me that this really spoke to them.  One lady explained that she puts a positive quote on the chalkboard in her kitchen every week.  Friends of hers look for it when they visit. I shared the story of Dan and the birthday card.  They said--yes, they too need affirmation and encouragement.

These were two hot strikes in the space of an hour.  It is not a coincidence.  I thought more about this, and this desire to be connected is universal.  We all need feedback, affirmation, something good to meditate on, something worthwhile to reflect over.  Dan asked for it.  In doing so, I learned he has a wife.  I learned that he thinks of me as a friend.  I learned that he is vulnerable and courageous enough to ask for what he needs.

As children, we get regular feedback from parents through guidance and discipline and support.  Our teachers do it too.  We get progress reports, report cards and graduations to the next grade every year. As adults, we don't get consistent feedback because our jobs and relationships aren't tailored the same way.  Yet, we need it just as much.  We thrive on it.  We need to be reminded in the course of a busy day, year, career, adult life that we have defining qualities that attract others to us.  We have characteristics that make us who we are, and we desire recognition and occasional appreciation.

No man or woman is an island.  We need others to keep going.  It makes life worth living and gives us what we need to make the most of our lives.  As we work to improve our health, reduce excess weight and create balance, we can ask for what we want.  We can use that feedback to make us stronger.  We can continue to set the bar high knowing we are not alone.  We never were.

Review Yourself to Stay Accountable

Honesty is a big part of being accountable.  We are often aware of our behavior and the consequences--what we know works and what doesn't.  That's not necessarily enough to keep us on track with personal and professional goals, but it is a starting point.  We are the expert on ourselves.  We live with our thoughts and feelings all day and night.   For this reason, we can evaluate how we are doing--and make appropriate changes to get what we really want.

Unfortunately, sometimes we stand in our own way.  We let ourselves off the hook and simply don't "show up" for what we know is right.  Stress, conflicting demands and other struggles get in our path. That's to be expected because life can be unpredictable.  It is not the end of the road, however it is a temporary set-back to learn from--regroup from--and move on from.

It all comes back to our accountability to ourselves.  It is our wishes, goals and dreams that motivate us to do anything, especially the worthwhile things.  Weight loss is one thing that we never seem to give up on even when it isn't going well.  We may give up on it temporarily, but once we made the decision to lose weight, we won't ever be entirely happy until we reach that goal.  

Consider what you know about yourself, your habits and your honesty.  Give yourself feedback on how you are doing now.  Are you on the right path to getting what you want?  Are you making yourself do the things that you know will help you?  Are you reaching out to others who might be partners sharing the same path?  

If so, keep going.  If not, straighten up and start being more accountable to you.  You deserve to get what you want, but you have to work for it, one day at a time--starting now.

Seasons Change and So Do We

My nineteen year old daughter just started her sophomore year of college in New York today.  My sixteen year old daughter just started her junior year of high school in Minnesota today.  I was posting their "first day" photos on facebook, and it got me thinking about where did the time go?  How could it have passed so quickly?

Of course, time didn't disappear without my knowing it.  My girls started out in prekindergarten and then grade school and then middle school and then high school.  I remember all of those "firsts"--especially the first time I dropped off my older daughter without taking her into the building.  It didn't feel right.  Up until that point, I had walked her in to every new situation of her life.

My daughters are not the only ones who have been changing over these years.  So have I.  Every seven years, all of the cells in the body are renewed and replaced.  That's major change at the most basic level. My thinking has changed over the years too.  Things I wanted before and felt were important look different to me now.  I have had more experiences to shape my opinions.   I have had successes and disappointments.  I have wanted things that have never come to pass.  I have achieved other things that I never saw coming my way.  Haven't we all?

Just like the seasons, we too are part of the natural landscape.  We are ending the season of vitality, the season of feeling good in our own skin, moving around easily, the season of the sun.  We are gradually shifting to the season of letting go, breathing deeply and exhaling even more deeply to release what we don't need.

No matter how old we are--we can all be excited about the start of something new.  Maybe you don't have a new backpack or school shoes, but you have a new lease on your personal goals and heart's desire.  Maybe you have an appreciation for where you have been and can look at the future with enthusiasm.  Maybe you are just ready to be done with summer and its spontaneous entertaining and reckless eating.

It is time to reflect for a moment and consider what we wish to carry with us from the summer.  What has happened that has worked?  What has happened that got us no where?  We can then shift our thinking to the future and what we'd like to have happen this fall.   It is time to shift to more accountability and more success, a change for the better.

Exercise--with your Breath

The first thing we do when we are born: breathe.  The last thing we do before we die: breathe--to say nothing of the jillions upon billions of breaths in between.  The fastest path to feeling grounded and centered and in the moment is to take a deep inhalation and an equally deep exhalation.  Unfortunately, we forgot how to do this in modern, technology-driven busy life.

The work of the mind is to think, rethink, worry and wonder.  Some say that 95% of our thoughts today are the same ones we had yesterday.  This is tiresome and boring.  Unfortunately, knowing this is not enough to keep it from happening.  We have to engage the body to relieve the mind.  The breath is the fastest track.  By inhaling deeply through the nose--and exhaling equally deeply through the nose we engage the relaxation response in the body.  Whew--now we are out of the "monkey mind" of the head just by mindfully breathing.  The heart rate slows down.  We drop into the present moment (the body is always in the present moment).  We massage the internal organs.  The diaphragm pulls down on the inhalation; the rib cage expands; the internal organs get a massage all by breathing deeply and intentionally.

Modern life is hectic.  It keeps too much energy in the mind with the breath at the top of the chest.  We benefit from redirecting that energy downward--inside the body--so that we can literally get out of the mind and promote and protect our own health.  We don't need a gym membership for this. We don't need equipment.  We can do this in meetings, driving in the car, talking to difficult people.  We all have time for this.

When I teach yoga, chi flow and meditation, we work on improving our deep breathing.  We then move our bodies with the breath.  That means we create the "mind-body" connection.  When I go to my gym, the trainer coaches us to use the exhalation to lift challenging weights.  I notice the irony here. The weight is heavy.   The breath is invisible and weightless, yet it is the breath that is going to help me?  Why, yes.  That is just how powerful it is.

Exercise your breath.  Place your hands on your belly and inhale deeply through the nose.  Notice the belly expanding as the diaphragm presses down.  Notice your chest rise as your rib cage expands. Pause for a second.  Then send that breath back down as you exhale through the nose.  Notice a wave-like feeling as you continue to do this.  By tonifying the breath, you are promoting and protecting your own good health.

I highly recommend this form of exercise.  

A Lesson from the Solar Eclipse

On Monday August 21, 2017, the "once in a lifetime" opportunity to see the solar eclipse in the continental United States came and went.  I knew I would be working at the time, but I decided I was going outside to see what all the fuss was about.  I don't know much about astronomy, but anything that might happen once in a lifetime automatically merits attention.   My uncle, a retired physicist, sent the special glasses and a solar eclipse guidebook explaining what to expect.  In this book, I read about how ancient peoples viewed the solar eclipse with fear because they thought the end was near.

I stood in the parking lot with other "sky gazers" and watched through some cloud cover as the shadow of the moon passed over the sun--and eclipsed it.  In Minnesota, it was 83% eclipsed.  Afterwards I was listening to the radio when people from all over the country were talking about their experiences.  Poets were writing poetry.  Astrophysicists, scientists, school teachers, librarians, thrill-seekers were absorbing it.  In the evening, I saw photos of friends around the country experiencing the eclipse.  Truth be told, I love the snaps of people in their special glasses looking up.

This whole experience made me think of two things specifically.  One, it was a great moment for a lot of people in the continental United States to anticipate and then participate in something so "other-worldly" from "outer" space.  It wasn't a reality tv show or you tube video.  It was real, and it has been going on forever...just not all that often.  This event directed our energy and focus upward (as in positive and hopeful).  This reminded me of when my daughter and lots of other readers of all ages were consumed with the Harry Potter books.  I didn't read them myself, but there was a time when it seemed like the whole world was concentrating on the same thing.

The other thing this eclipse made me reflect on is that while the dark (shadow of the moon) was eclipsing the light--the sun was still shining just as brightly as it always does.  It was just as hot and just as normal as usual, but only a tiny "collar" of yellow light or a crescent was visible.  We didn't have to be scared that the light wouldn't return.  We knew how quickly this would pass.

As we move through life, there is too much that is fake that is pulling our attention away from what is real.  It ends up feeling unfulfilling.  While it might sound like a fun idea spending time on social media, too much time on social media leaves us empty.   It actually takes something away.   By returning to the things that are important, the people who are significant, the activities that give us joy, we return to the heart.  The heart is real.  We return to a source of happiness that cannot be duplicated.

When we are happy, we want more for ourselves.  When we are happy, we seek out other happy people and attract them effortlessly.  We want more of that great energy  When we are happy, we are more resilient and can cope with stress and unexpected setbacks.  When we are happy, we don't dwell on the darkness and forget that there is light behind it because we are grounded in the knowledge that darkness chases light while light chases darkness.  Things are always shifting.  That is the natural order of life just like the yin/yang symbol.

Misery will eventually force us to make a change.  We can't take it anymore.  However, it is happiness that keeps us motivated to continue.  I encourage everyone to slow down long enough to notice the wonderful moments, big and small, that come along in the course of a day.  From the ritual of the morning coffee to the accomplishment of a great workout, to the bliss of a gentle yoga class, to the time spent walking the dog to cultivating the summer garden and to the people who make it all worthwhile, take a moment to notice what you are surrounded by.  Take a moment to savor the things that make your days special no matter how small they seem to be.  Grand moments, big, fancy vacations, once in a lifetime trips are occasional.  The everyday is what we get most often.  For that reason, we deserve to make it more than just work and obligation and chores.  We deserve to cultivate a happier, more contented lifestyle so that we can attract exactly what we really want.  Our heart is the arrow, literally the direction that will guide the way.  The mind will govern our actions.  The body will bring the energy to take it on.  

Choose more happiness for your day, for your life, for your people, for your heart's desire.  It is healthy.

Separating Myths from Facts

There are many myths when it comes to weight loss.  Because we hear them so often we start believing they might be true.  For starters, let's consider this one:  it's too hard to lose weight after a certain age. While I have even heard tell that some doctors say this to their patients, the fact is this is not true.  The truth is that we lose muscle mass as we age--starting in the late twenties.  Muscle tissue burns calories even at rest.  If we aren't working to build muscle mass as we age, this can be a contributing factor to weight gain.  Stress is also a major factor in weight gain.  When we are stressed, the body secretes cortisol into the adrenal glands which helps retain belly fat while bringing about cravings for sugar high fat foods.  Overconsuming sugar and high saturated fats contribute to weight gain.  Stress also helps the mind continue to ruminate over the past and worry about the future.  This often results in sleeplessness. People who don't sleep well don't lose weight well and have a harder time with metabolism.   As we age, the stressors mount with family responsibilities, job pressures, finances.  In short, is it harder to lose weight as we age--yes.  Is it impossible--NO.

I have just debunked but one of the weight loss myths that we might buy into.  The problem is this could become a self fulfilling prophesy.  In that case, we might not even try to shed unwanted pounds because we think it is a lost cause.  It is not--it is a "losing battle" that we can win if we face it one moment at a time.  We can't be perfect, but we aren't aiming for perfect.  We are aiming for better.

Being healthy at every age is a worthy pursuit.  Finding new ways to live well, new foods to try, new cooking methods and gadgets (spriralized zucchini "noodles"), new physical activities and new hobbies that bring fulfillment are all part of what keeps us wanting more for ourselves.  We are never done evolving unless we give up.

Consider the myths you may be telling yourself that are holding you back.  Consider whether they are based in reality or are just something to release so that you can get what you really want.  You can have more fulfillment.

Fulfillment is ageless.

What YOU Think is What Matters Always

Getting caught up in what other people think of us is a colossal waste of time, but let's think about how regularly it happens in today's world, especially with social media.  Everyone is an author.  Everyone is a critic. Everyone gets to have an opinion.  Everyone can weigh in (ha ha) on everyone else's activities, photos, thoughts, pets, vacations, baby's names, etc. There is no end to this madness.  In fact, with the rapid fire pace of too much information coming at us, we are actually conditioned to have an opinion about every single thing.  This includes things that may not even matter to us.

Let's come back to what's really important--YOU.  What is the voice of the inner critic saying these days?  What is the voice that runs through your mind day in and day out telling you about how you are in your mind?  What is that voice telling you about how you are in your fulfillment?  What is that voice telling you about how you are in your body?  And finally, what is that voice telling you about how you are living your precious life now?

The answers to these questions are what really consumes us and captures our attention.  This is what really matters.  How you feel about yourself--in any aspect you choose to consider is what makes you happy or content or miserable, hopeful or despairing, clear and focused or cluttered and distracted, energized or fatigued.

We cannot now or ever control what others think of us.  We cannot control their thoughts or their behavior or their comments.  However, we can control our own.  We can control what we choose to believe about ourselves.  We can replace negative feedback with positive and affirming words.

We can't control our feelings.  Because they exist, they are legitimate.  Period.  However, we can control how we react to our feelings.   For example, when we are upset about something at work or with someone at home, we can notice that this is a normal part of life.  It's not the fun part, but it is normal.  We can tell ourselves that we are not going to eat our feelings in an effort to deal with the situation.  We can retrain our brain and our bodies to react differently by choosing a positive coping tool.  We can rewrite our very own script and begin a new conversation with ourselves--one that we can be proud of.

Have no fear, life will bring plenty of challenging situations to our doorstep giving us an opportunity to step up, stand tall, be clear and talk straight to OURSELVES.   This week, listen for the voice of reason that supports positive change.  Listen for the voice of fulfillment that wants so much more.  Listen to the best of you.  You deserve that.  It's you.  It's you.  It always was you.

Get Up and Go Sometimes/Slow Down and Notice Other Times

When I was at my Chi Gong teacher certification training a few weeks ago, we enjoyed a tea ceremony every day after lunch.  In this ceremony, a special tea from a special place in China is served.  It's called puer tea.  It is the gold standard in the tea world and sells by the small brick for many thousands of dollars.  It can be presented in a wooden box for safe keeping and is aged over years.  It is precious, but it is also an every-day thing.  There is a lot more to the story, and I am still learning.  However, like wine--it has a special place of origin that carries with it the properties of that geographic place.  This is part of what makes it life giving.  By partaking of this tea, the earth energy and all it brings with it, comes to you. 

During the tea pouring, we sat in a circle as Master Lee broke off (sometimes with a sharp blade) some of the tea leaves from the block of puer tea.  He placed them in a small tea pot after pouring boiling water over the pot (marking cleansing) and let it steep and quickly discarded this first small pot.  Then he did it again.  The tea cups were slightly larger than egg cups.  No handles despite the fact that the tea is very hot.  (It may have been the British ladies who added handles to their tea cups.) Very little tea gets shared at one time, because the cups are so small.  We learned that by having a small cup, you are forced to pay attention to the tea, how it makes you feel, to what is going on, to what you are doing.  No one is getting jumbo anything here.  After the first pot is poured and drunk, then the pourer makes another pot with the same puer tea leaves still in the tiny tea pot.  Now the leaves are getting yet another steeping and distribution.  This could go on for quite some time--perhaps even twenty steepings of the same tea leaves during this one ceremony.  The pot itself gets refreshed with hot water--cleansing. 

The tea is served on a wooden tray with a built-in drain that keeps that clean as well.  There is talk.  There is joy.  There is feeling differently because of the properties of the tea.  Most importantly, there is noticing.  This was such a nice way to slow down and enjoy the moment, to find balance.  I have to confess that I miss this ritual. 

I start the day with one cup of strong black coffee that I make at home.  I still like that single cup of coffee for the day, but that is for "getting going."  For calming and relaxing and enjoying, it's tea.  I am committed to learning more about this ritual and how it can help create balance in daily life.  Let's face it, that is when and where we need it the most. 

Master Lee Holden also talked about the polarity in all things.   In modern life we are faced with an overabundance of choices.  From the 200 food decisions we make regularly to what to watch on our devices to what to block out on our devices, we are swamped.  It's too much for the brain--and too much for the body to take in.  By slowing down long enough to notice your tea, your wonderful strawberries, your body and how it feels today, you can create a mini shift into a much happier existence.  This, we have at our disposal.  It comes from our desire for more.  Paying attention to both the form and the formless--as in the clouds in the sky and the space between the clouds-- allows us to notice all of what is there.  Sure, I may not be having as many cocktails as my friends--but look at what not having as many cocktails as my friends does for me.   I may not be eating portions as large as I used to--but look at the "room" that creates in my life to get more of what I really want.

The more I know, the more I keep learning.  I am glad to share this with you.   

What is Your Mind(ful) of Practicing?

I spent last week in Santa Cruz, California, with chi gong master, Lee Holden, during a week-long teacher training immersion program.  It was an amazing experience in so many ways.  Not only did I have a chance to deepen my understanding of chi flow (WW version of chi gong)--I got to look at some of the health and wellness themes that we talk about in new ways.

One thing Lee talked about is that the mind is always meditating.  Unfortunately, it is meditating on the dark side.  I never considered worrying or rehashing the past as "meditating," but it is.  It is focusing the mind on something very specific and staying focused on it.  How useless is this?  Our evolution and strong DNA are at work.  We are literally hard-wired to be suspicious of the unknown.  By being on guard, defensive and expecting a hazard, our ancient ancestors survived.  That rustle in the grass was not a bunny rabbit coming to kiss you cheek but the paw of a tiger slithering through the grass to have you for a snack. 

Nowadays, our stressors are not usually that dire.  We are flooded with stressors like too much information, too much to accomplish in too little time, etc.  Yes, we have to pay attention to what is expected, but we do not have to focus all our energy on what is not helping.  What about changing the channel in your head?  What about switching to a channel where you see yourself calmer, in control and succeeding?  What about paying attention to silence or to quiet in the brain or to the time in between activities or tasks? 

What keeps us grounded is the body because the body is always in the present.  The body is always feeling "today at this very moment."   The mind wants to travel to the past and rehash it, or to the future and worry over it.  Both of these "meditations" create more stress.  Stress is fattening and frustrating.  So, what about changing the channel in the mind to the program you'd like to watch?  What would you like to see yourself doing well today?  What would you like to see yourself NOT doing at all today?  How would you like to feel today?  Is it possible to tune in to that channel more often?  Is it possible to be mindful of that image?  If you're "meditating" anyway, why not meditate on the good stuff--because it will bring more positive energy to you--to have more of the good stuff.

This isn't a wish fulfillment practice, this is a positive intention practice.  We benefit from training it.  It does not come easily to many of us--me included, but it does create room for shifts to be noticed.  By noticing shifts in our thinking or feeling, we can get closer and closer to what we really want.  We can be present in body AND mind for what is really important and what is worthy of our attention in the first place.

Expand Your Horizons

As I compose this post, I am reflecting on just how much my own horizons have been expanded in the past two years and just how valuable this has been in my life's journey.  

It was two years ago when my manager asked me to participate in a pilot program then called "Find Your Me."  I was open to more responsibilities and honored to be asked.  From the very start I noticed shifts and made connections that I was not previously aware of.  Perhaps I hadn't slowed down long enough or been prompted or been exposed to the proven life coaching techniques made simple.  It was enlightening for me, as a participant and as a WW leader to share this with members and notice their shifts and realizations and what a difference it made in their lives.

As a "body" person, I was just as open to becoming a Chi Flow guide.  I am a yoga instructor, but I didn't know anything about chi gong--or the WW version of it--which we call Chi Flow.  Yet, it too was a new opportunity, more responsibility and an exciting challenge I was ready for.  This was a completely different format for WW members, and no one was sure how it would be received.  After lots of training and development, the pilot program continues and has expanded.  The overwhelming response has been amazing.   Who doesn't want to feel good in their bodies and become more relaxed?

I now find myself in yet another unforeseen situation where I am helping to bring these two experiences to life for 150 people here, mostly leaders, their managers and upper managers among others.  While the past two years have gone by quickly, it's humbling to know that something that started small in Minnesota has become so big and crossed the Atlantic.  It is a reminder to me that little things do matter. One person can make a big difference to a lot of people.  There can be a dramatic and exponential effect to bringing more health, wellness and wholeness to the world.

As someone who considers herself a healer and a helper, I am expanding my own horizons and getting out of my familiar surroundings.  I am encouraging you to do the very same thing.  What are the opportunities that are calling you?  Are they leading you by the heart or by the head?  Are they part of the pretty picture that is the life you wish for?  What might it be like to know that you are where you want to be, doing what you like, shifting from waiting to living a dream?

Back to Regular Programming: Assert Yourself to Yourself

It's the Fifth of July.  While lots of people seem to be moving slowly today, it is not the Fourth of July any longer.  That means that we just keep moving along.  We return to regular programming.  We stop eating picnic food and start following  our regular eating patterns.  This is a life skill to practice shifting back to normal patterns after vacation, a hiatus, an illness or a unexpected bump in the road.

This is also the time to simply ASSERT YOURSELF.  Sometimes there is actually no one but yourself standing in your way.  Yes, we know food pushers don't help.  Yes, we know that hearing things like, "come on, we're all going to lunch..happy hour...coffee (meaning coffee sundaes and scones)...just this once..." don't help.  But, let's be real.  The one and only person who gives yourself permission to eat or not, indulge or restrict is you.

Have you been asserting yourself to yourself lately?  Have you been doing what's required as opposed to what you "feel" like in the moment?  Have you been holding yourself accountable to what you really want?

And, by the way, what is that?  What is it that you really want?  A good day on plan?  A good day engaging in physical activity?  A good night's sleep?

Regroup today.  Step away from the long weekend.  March directly and single-mindedly towards your dreams.

Separating Emotions from Eating

In our fast-paced world, one of the hardest challenges is to stop, take a deep breath, then proceed with caution.  It is far more likely that we simply default with knee-jerk responses to stimuli.  Sometimes this can result in an impulse purchase at the mall.  Sometimes this can result in a critical comment that sounds like judging.  Sometimes this can result in road rage.  Oftentimes this results in mindless eating.

When it comes to heightened emotions and eating, we have to be on guard.  Unfortunately, we are trained from childhood to cope with uncomfortable feelings by eating.  Typically the foods we eat when we are stressed are high fat, high sugar treats.   Oh, you got a bee sting--here's a cookie.  Yeah, it's a birthday party, let's all eat cake and then take more home for later.  Oh no, it's a funeral, carb load.  

When emotions are running high--whether they are positive or negative or ambiguous (I don't know what I'm feeling, but it is not good.) we benefit from taking a step back and looking at what's really going on--putting something useful, destressing and even calming between us and the situation.  By doing this, we can respond to stressful situations or high emotions in a more rational manner.  By practicing this, we can condition ourselves to look at what's really going on.  That doesn't mean we will like the emotion any better, but it does mean that we will be less likely to find ourselves with a lot of empty calories that we weren't even looking for.

One of the reasons why this is so challenging is that we live in a multi-tasking fast-paced world where responding quickly is rewarded.   Our technology is quick.  We live in an on-demand world.   We want what we want.  Oftentimes, we can have it.  Unfortunately, this has translated to overeating snacks, mindless trick or treating in the workplace, sampling everywhere.  

The response to stress (good, bad or ambiguous) is to slow down with the breath.  Inhale deeply through the nose, exhale deeply through the nose.  This engages the relaxation response in the body--now the emotion doesn't feel so pressing, and hopefully we can make more rational choices as a result.

This is a practice.  There is no perfect.  This doesn't mean we won't want chocolate bars or salty chips.

It does mean that we are REtraining ourselves to respond differently to our emotions and to put food where it really belongs.  That's an effort worth making.  

Observe Nature and Destress

Today marks the official start of summer, also know as summer solstice, the longest day of sunlight. This season reminds us to pay attention to something that we are grateful for, i.e. longer days, easier living, more time outside.

We feel better physically and mentally when we spend time outside.
We eat better when we feel better.  
We want more of those good feelings.

There is nothing like stress at work or with our families to take us away from the good feelings that we get when we are more relaxed and feel more connected to what is real.

The earth is real.
The grass under bare feet is real.
The sun is real.  It can be relied upon to go down at night and come up in the morning.
The birds are real.
The extra oxygen in a forest of trees is real.
The waves at the ocean are real.
The wind through the trees is real.
The serenity that comes from being lakeside is real.
A campfire is real (not to mention primal).
You are real.

Breakdowns in healthy eating, sleeping and exercising come from stress.  One of the biggest sources of stress is feeling like we need to be "connected" at all times to things, people, events, reactions, situations that may not have any importance to us--but rob us of our calm.  Technology is "artificial intelligence."  We need it.  We benefit from it, but it doesn't make us feel calm, grounded or centered.  It distracts us and contributes to the racing mind that continues to respond, activate adrenaline and increase cortisol.  It is the polar opposite of mindfulness.

The message is to take time, make time, enjoy time in nature without the phone.  Listen to the sounds, observe the view, breathe in the air of the trees, notice the heat from the sun and the coolness of a fresh breeze on your skin.  This will dial down the stress and improve the mood.

When you feel better, you do better.
You deserve to feel great.
Start today.
You are worth it.

How Others Live While Worldwide Obesity Rates are UP by 10%

Just got back from a trip to London with my almost 80 year old mom, my two sisters and my two daughters.  Whenever I am gone, I always take an interest in how the locals live their lives.  A few things I noticed while in London:  1) a lot of walking to a lot of public transportation that led to more walking; 2) smaller tables in restaurants, smaller chairs and smaller plates and smaller wine glasses and smaller portions; 3) a heck of a lot of pound cake type desserts and "squidgey" sweets piled high, literally everywhere; 4) smaller people; and that infamous quote 5) keep calm and carry on.

Walking is such a good thing to be doing more of.  In the US, our lifestyle is set up so that we do not do a lot of walking, unless you are in a major city and do take public transportation regularly, you are more likely in a car driving from door to door.  This makes such a huge difference, because it literally is a lifestyle change to walk all the time, wherever you are and wherever you go.  It is more pleasant to be outside than inside.  It is more calming to the nerves to be moving the body than sitting in traffic.  It aids digestion to move at a leisurely pace after eating.  This is built-in exercise that can be taken for granted.

While I appreciate the fact that the Brits are smaller in frame--generally speaking, hence smaller tables and chairs, some of them are getting the message.  I was in a check out line with an older gentleman at a grocery store.  He had a "trolley" of fresh flowers, six pastries, oranges and something else fun.  I said to him that I'd like to go where that stuff is going.  It looked like a Sunday morning party in the making. He said--OH NO, this is not for me--I have no sweet tooth. I am just running the errand.  I can't eat like that--bad for the weight.

I don't understand all the cakes and creamy desserts piled up everywhere like towers including at museums and in Whole Foods like I've never seen, but apparently they are "taken" with tea--which means that people are sitting down to eat leisurely and to take their time and to decompress and to relax with their friends.  I would like some of that too.  No rushing in restaurants to get done and turn the table.   The "keep calm" is on.

I am not pretending that life is perfect in other places or that the grass is always greener.  It isn't.  For example, I don't know what the problem is when it comes to towel racks, trash cans and toilet paper holders in bathrooms....but I do know that more fresh air and time outside would help us all.  I do know that smaller portions, while sitting down will help too.  I do know that seeing people, face to face, for leisurely encounters would destress.

Obesity rates are up because cheap food is more readily available and obviously affordable than healthier food.   Cheap food is caloric, sugary, salty, fatty and lacking nutritional value.  I cannot change the world, but I can change my behavior, and I can help you change yours.   Try adjusting your lifestyle just a little bit to be more actie outside and more thoughtful and slow inside when it comes to meals.

Honor Yourself No Matter What You Weigh

How often do we think poorly of ourselves and then feel poorly about ourselves and then make poor decisions about eating or activity?   I think we might all do this sometimes.  The problem is that when we let the negative voice that plays in our head to determine our worth, we negate all the good things that are also going on.

This morning I was at my gym, Orange Theory.  Make no mistake about it--it's hard every single time. I have been going there for two years, several times a week, and it is still hard, because they keep putting new challenges in front of me.  It is never the same workout twice.  While I was there, I ran into someone I know who is frustrated with her weight.  She was complaining about her body and her number, and saying that despite all the hard work she does, she isn't getting anywhere.  I had to correct her.  She has built lean muscle.  She has improved her eating.  She has increased her strength and endurance.  She has gotten herself in the best physical shape of her life in over twenty years.  That is not nothing.  Yet, I had to remind her to focus on all of that and not the number, because the number is not making her happy--and won't help her make good choices either.

My second daughter, Natalie, just celebrated her 16th birthday yesterday.  She wasn't expected to make it to her first birthday.  She was born with a heart defect that was surgically corrected at 4 months of age and then she got cancer of the bone marrow (AML) at six months of age.  She asked me yesterday if I am glad she was born?  Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes, I am glad she was born.  When I looked at her when she was born I saw hope and the future and love and joy and amazement and God, even though I also saw something "wrong in the middle."  After all that we have been through with her health, I am still in amazement.    Think about seeing a newborn, yours or someone else's.   They don't talk or smile or do much, yet we are in wonder over them.  Now, what would it be like if we could capture some of that appreciation that our moms and dads had for us--and soak it in now, as we are adults?  What if we could see the wonder, joy, amazement?  The negatives would wash away very quickly.

We are more than our bodies.  They matter, but they are not who we are.  We are more than our thoughts.  They matter, but we can change them.  We are more than our personal experiences.  They matter because they shape us, but we can look at them with fresh eyes and new perspective.  We carry with us that wonder that we brought into the world with our very own birth.  Tap into it.  Remember it. Remind yourself of it.  And be nice to yourself.

Summer FUN...SUN...BALANCE

The best three months of the year are coming...and we all want to get the most out of them.   More casual clothes, flip flops, outdoor dining, vacations, graduations and holidays.  We need the summer pause that refreshes.  

Summer is the season of revitalization.  The sun is at its peak.  It gives us more energy and more vitamin D.  We might use that energy to be more active with more daylight  and friendlier weather.   However, we don't want to use that extra energy boost on consuming extra foods and drinks.  This can be challenging because there are often more opportunities to socialize and more occasions to let our guard down.

Let's think about how much weight we'd like to lose, maintain or gain this summer?  Be honest.  Are you set on reaching a certain milestone marker this summer?  OR, are you ok if you stay where you are on the scale, between now and Labor Day?  OR, are you ok if you gain a little weight this summer?
It's your choice, and it's time to decide so that you will know how to manage your behavior, choices, points, activity and restrictions.

What do you REALLY want?  WHY do you REALLY want it?  How important is this to you right now?  Be realistic.  What might get in the way?  Where, when, who are the potential obstacles?  How will you feel by July 4th if you are not on track?   What can you do?  How will you feel by Labor Day if you are still not on track?  What will you do?

Choosing a plan gives us reasons to stick with a plan.  I am concerned with you getting what you REALLY want.  You are worth it.  You are worthy of your heartfelt desires.   You are worthy of your goals.  You deserve to get what you want out of this precious life of yours.

A great summer--yes, plan on it.
A healthful summer--yes, plan on it.
An active summer--yes, plan on it.
Control over the scale according to your plan--yes, plan on it too.

Relaxation through Breathing

Stress is a part of life.  It gets us up in the morning.  It gets us to the airport on time before a flight.  It gets dinner on the table when everyone is hungry.  That's normal stress.  Then there is the super stress that makes every move difficult, full of tension, frustration, impatience and maybe anger.

One of the best ways to dial down the super stress is through breathing deeply in through the nose and out through the nose.  By doing this, we engage the parasympathetic nervous system that calms us down.  We can lower the blood pressure through relaxation breathing.  We can become more efficient breathers by practicing intentional breath.  We can use this technique anywhere and everywhere that we need to slow down, calm down, take a pause and relieve super stress.

Most of us inhale 18,000-20,000 breaths per day.  Most of us only inhale half of our potential lung capacity.   By practicing this self soothing technique (the most basic form of meditation) we are improving our relaxation response and health.

One of the easiest ways to do this is to think about something positive like the word "calm"--and inhale deeply thinking of "calm" and take a pause--then exhale deeply with a word like "chaos."  Whenever you inhale, you bring towards you what you want to attract.  Whenever you exhale, you release what is no longer serving you.   At first it can feel hard to focus.  At first it feels like you're "not really doing anything."  However, if practice for a few minutes every day, you may find that it actually is helping. You can self soothe.  You can become more aware of what is going on.  You can become more conscious of stress factors and more capable of dealing with them.

This is a win/win.  No equipment is needed.  No gym membership.  No special place.  As long as you have a breath in your body, you can release tension.

Life is full of its ups and downs, joys and disappointments, pleasures and pains.  We don't need to look for stress, it will find us no matter what.  How we choose to respond to stress is what we can control. So, start breathing more deeply.   Start watching your belly puff up on the inhale and sink in on the exhale.   Breathe in three or four counts and pause; then breathe out three or four counts.  Let go of expectations, and let the breath do its work.

It's worth the time and the effort, because YOU are worth it.

A Memory to Help Manage Stress

The older I get, the more responsibilities I have, and the more stress I recognize coming into my life.  The older I get, the more adept I become at recognizing my limitations and protecting myself from drama.  The older I get, the more serious certain worries about my family members become.  While I can accept these statements and usually "go with the flow" and manage, there are times when stress piles on, and it becomes too much.

What I have discovered most recently is that keeping normal routines is a big help.  I found that running into other people who are doing "normal" things is a relief.  While it's harder to make an effort and go to the gym, I know I need it even more.  It's harder to get up and put on a smile and face the world, but the alternative is worse.  It's harder to care about certain things, but I have to go through the motions at least, in order to keep going.   The other thing I noticed is that during tough times is that I wish I could "walk off the stage "and enter another life.  This is normal--an escape.  This is self preservation.  However, walking off is not possible in my role, but then I started remembering a favorite childhood memory.

My grandfather, Poppy, was the best grandfather I could ever imagine.  He had enormous patience, and he loved me dearly.   He would wake me up from naps and get me out of my crib.  He would give me and my siblings little candies before dinner.  I have a photo of him holding me when I was about 4 months old, in my bedroom.  One time when I was about 4 or 5, I climbed up the kitchen counter and opened the corner cabinet where the orange baby aspirin were kept.  They tasted like candy, and I remember eating a bunch of them.  I don't remember what happened next, but I was taken to Nanny and Poppy's house.  It was a summer day.  I remember the warm sun shining, and it was very quiet at their small ranch house.  I remember my grandparents staring at me, watching me. There were no dramatics.  I didn't feel sick or vomit.  I didn't get rushed to the emergency room.  All I remember is the love and kindness all around me.  My Poppy was a big gardener.  He coaxed African violets to bloom under sunlamps in his basement.  He walked around with a pen knife and got rid of dandelions the old fashioned way.  He even picked beatles off his rose bushes with his fingers and put them in a small can of kerosene.  In his early 70's, he had a heart attack in his beloved garden and died four days later at the hospital.  I was eleven years old at the time.  He's been gone most of my life, but the love he showed me grounded me then and grounds me still.  Mining this memory is like a big hug from a great man who can still make me feel like things will be ok.

I share this story because when life is challenging, we need all the help we can get.  Relief from pressure, even for a brief moment, can remind us that things are always shifting.  We cannot suffer forever.  We cannot live in a state of near-perfect bliss every moment either.   What we can do is proceed with caution and kindness, doing normal things, with normal people who are doing the same thing.

Let Go of Limitations

When I teach yoga classes, I tell my students to "let go of whatever isn't serving you...negative thoughts, frustrations, shoulds...limitations."  It's a great message off the mat as well.  How often do we allow self imposed constraints define us?  How often do we listen to the "negative tapes" that keep looping in our brains?  Maybe it is too often.

The problem is that we start believing the negative messages that we hear.  We then allow those negative messages to become reality.  Instead of expanding our capabilities, we limit them.  This happens with simple things like--getting some exercise and far bigger things like looking for a new job or getting out of a dysfunctional situation.

Let's explore exercise.  We know that it is a good idea.  We know that we feel better when we are done.   We know that we actually have more energy after exercising even if we were tired when we started. Some of us know that we need a formal class, gym, fitness buddy or trainer to keep us going.  Others know when the better time to exercise is.  Morning, noon, after work, night--you pick.  However, and yet, and somehow, we manage to talk ourselves out of what we know is a good thing.

Exercise is the healthiest of all legal stress relievers.  Meditation is a close second.  When we move the body, we get out of the overthinking mind and into something entirely different.   We forget our worries for the moment and focus on something healthy that creates the endorphins and the sense of accomplishment that makes us feel good.

One of the best things about exercise is that just a little can add up to a lot.  If I were in charge of the world, everyone would get two ten or fifteen minute recess breaks a day.  Leave desks and phones and computers. Meet in a communal spot.  Move the body with gentle stretching and take back a fruit or veggie snack.  It would be destressing and enable everyone to feel better.  The negative self talk and the limiting tapes that play would start quieting down.

We can all take better care of ourselves.  We are the ones who have to make it happen.  The world we live in is full of 24/7 stimulation.  We are the ones who have to let go.  We deserve a brain break, a natural mood enhancer and limitless possibilities.

How Are You NOW

This question came up at a training over the weekend.  It is a powerful inquiry that takes all the chaos of life's events and distills them into one precious moment.  There is no judging about the question or the possible answer.  There is no messy talk about feelings and whether they are valid or worthy.  Instead, there is a simple question that invites just as simple and direct a response.

This question is not to be confused with the "how's it going" greeting from people you don't really know like the check out guy at the grocery store.  To acquaintances at the store, a simple answer might suffice, i.e. "good--it's good..."  But, to the traveler on the curious path of self improvement, the question can mean so much more.

For better or worse, the answer is always shifting because our moods, our circumstances, our people, our level of engagement is always shifting.  I might be very revitalized after a big workout, ready to take on the world with positive intention.  On the other hand, I might be very dejected after a long day at the hospital with lots of people in crisis.  And, let's be honest--what about everything in between--the stuff of life?

It is worthwhile to slow down long enough and step back with a deep breath and ask this question.  Life is moving by at the speed of technology which is too demanding for the average person.  Sometimes there is no way to ground down to the moment unless you physically stop moving and doing so that you can start breathing and listening.

We are not our bodies.  We are not our emotions.  We are not the roles we play.  But, they all matter dearly, and they can all play a part in answering the question, "How are you NOW?".

My friend, Todd, came to yoga class last week and simply said, "Karen, when is it going to stop?".  I told him it isn't.  Since that is mostly true and the "stuff" of life is always happening to us, around us, near us or our people, it is US who has to stop.  We have to stop the madness and slow down and step back and be open to the answers to our own questions, free of judging the answers while knowing they are always shifting.

When I notice how I am NOW, I can often determine what my next step is.  I might even be able to discover what I am capable of.  On the other hand, I might just notice how I am--and simply let it be what it is for the moment.

All of this is de-stressing, which is precisely why it matters so much.  This week, take a moment at any time and anywhere to simply breathe in deeply and ask yourself honestly "how am I NOW?" so that you can discover where you are and what you might want next.  You deserve a happy, healthy, fulfilling life starting right NOW.

Be Relevant NOW

I was at the bookstore today, and I noticed a huge pile of books for the graduate--advice galore on everything from "Curious George and a Banana" to "Lean In" for the college graduate to "How to be a Hepburn in a Kardashian World" to the traditional books like "Seven Habits of Highly Successful People."  I was overwhelmed looking at these titles.  It practically made me feel overwhelmed with so many opinions. Where to start?  What should I read next?  What advice have I been missing?  I am not sure I care.

I never wish to add my voice to a chorus of "do this" or "that" or "the next thing."  Funny, since I spend my time coaching people to health and wellness.  At any rate, what I would like to be is relevant to you NOW, in smaller, more manageable bits and pieces because, in truth, that's all we have to work with anyhow.  Being everything great, all the time, or recovering from any setback no matter what and coming out stronger, or just going with the flowing is too much.

Instead, we come back to one of the most basic of all life lessons.  When we were kids, our parents trained us to "pay attention."  That meant looking both ways at crosswalks, doing homework carefully, listening to teachers or elders to carrying something delicate from the car.  As we got older, our focus had to become sharper.  There were more moving parts to keep track of.  We had to get ourselves to places on time.  We had to deliver.  We had to keep track of demands and details and people on time.

All of this was preparation for what we have to do now.  In fact, we have greater expectations.  Running your own life, relationships, house, car, job, health, wellness, social time, appointments, relaxation, etc. is a lot.  Add the pressure of a problem with any of these moving parts, and we become overwhelmed.  That is precisely when the message to step back, slow down and retreat is worth listening to.  If the  universe is becoming too much to cope with, simply consider what is the next "right thing" to do or NOT do?  What is the next move to make or NOT make?  What feels relevant NOW given all the demands?

By pausing for a moment to discover what is truly relevant NOW, we can create much needed breathing room.  We can dial down the anxious tension so that we feel less overwhelmed and more in control.
We may not solve the world's problems, but the good news is--we don't have to.  We can simply "pay attention" to what matters most--at the time when it shows up.  No more and no less.  We can become more agile in dealing with our life's challenges which enables us to become happier and healthier no matter what shows up.

Working on Fulfillment

What does fulfillment mean to you?  What does a fulfilling life look like to you?  How would you know anyway?   Does this matter?

Yes, it does matter.  In fact, engaging in activities in your career, with your family, at your home--that you value gives your life deep meaning.  Spending time with people who share your values enhances your sense of well-being. Being connected to others makes you feel part of something bigger in good times and bad.

We are often asked, "how's it going?"  It's a closed-ended question begging a reply like "good" "not bad" "ok" or "just fine."  Unfortunately, the quality of our life merits more than a glib answer at least to ourselves. If we keep moving along, riding the tide of busy daily activities, we may never dive deeper to find out what lies beneath the surface, i.e. what is really happening now?  We can change that.  By slowing down long enough to "check in" with what is going on without judging, we can either affirm that what we are doing is what we want--or we can identify areas for improvement so that our lives become more intentional.

As human beings with a wide range of emotions and feelings, our mood and mindset are always shifting.   The season, the temperature, the lack of daylight, the mood of the people at work or home, the amount of quality sleep--are but a few of the many things that affect us and influence how we feel about anything.   Some days we get great joy from our personal relationships.  Other days, they are just ok.  That shift is normal.  We aren't capable of non-stop bliss or perfection.  We are capable of changing, though.  When we slow down long enough to notice we want more, then we are in the "sweet spot" whereby we can find it.

Abraham Lincoln once said that it's not the years in your life--but the life in your years that counts.  With that in mind, take your fulfillment temperature.   Be open to what comes up from reflecting on this.  If you discover you spend too much time on things that don't fulfill you--you have an opportunity to change.  If you discover you are exactly where you'd like to be, doing just what you like, then consider yourself affirmed.  If you are not sure--don't worry--keep asking because the answers will surface eventually.

We have but one precious life.  Not every moment can be thoughtful, worthwhile and well spent.  However, our lives must give us a sense of fulfillment, a sense of power, a sense of place--and that will bring a sense of happiness that we created ourselves.  That, itself, is profoundly meaningful and fulfilling.