My 17 year old daughter, Natalie, made a "mindfulness jar" in a class. This is a small mason jar filled with pink glitter, suspended in liquid. It's like a super snow globe. She left this in my mom's car. My mom pointed this out to her, and she was livid. She said she doesn't need to be reminded about her mindfulness jar! Therein lies the irony. We DO need to be reminded to be mindful because we are often scattered with our energy and intention, and we simply forget.
There are so many ways to think about this buzzword of today: mindfulness. Let's break it down. Mindful means that the mind is full. It is full in the present moment, with present moment intention. The mind is focused on what is right now. If getting out of the car with my stuff is the present moment, then I am collecting my stuff as I exit the car. If getting out the car, listening to ear buds, snapchatting someone and thinking about dinner is keeping the mind full, then I might forget what I am accidentally leaving behind.
To be clear, it can be challenging to live in a state of mindfulness. The mind itself likes to jump to conclusions, form observations, make judgments, connect the dots. Technology scatters the mind's intention and drains our focused energy. Some people say we are only aware of 7% of what is really happening.
The good news is that there is no perfection when it comes to being mindful. There is simply practice. Some days we are practicing more often than others. The more we practice being present in the moment, the more we will refrain from distractions that rob us of our peace of mind. Borrowing worry (tomorrow) or bemoaning the past (yesterday) keeps us from thriving in the present, the now, the mindful moment.
Today is made up of a series of moments, one stacked on top of the other. By adding up the days, the weeks, the months, the years, you have your life. Now is a great time to reflect on your moments. Do you like how you are spending them? Do you enjoy them more often than not? Do you slow down long enough to savor the good moments and really appreciate them? If so, keep going. If not, you can simply take a long deep inhale through the nose right now and let the breath out slowly and relax. This signals your body to calm down. This exercise trains the mind to turn to something positive, especially useful in times of high stress. This keeps you grounded to the all-powerful present. That's the most powerful position of all.
Tuesday, October 23, 2018
Thursday, October 18, 2018
A Growth Mindset Works
It is so easy to get stuck in our own wicked ways, irrational thoughts or preconceived notions about how life is supposed to be. If we never question what we're thinking, we might not be limiting ourselves. Let's consider replacing a "fixed mindset" with a "growth mindset." An example of a fixed mindset is one where there are absolutes like--"I always gain weight at holiday time." While it may be true that in the past, weight gain was part of holiday time, that does not mean it has to happen this holiday season. This can be somewhat counterintuitive. In a lot of cases, past performance is a strong indicator of future success. NOT SO when it comes to self improvement. It does not matter how often we attempt behavior change and miss the mark, that does not mean we won't hit the target this time.
A growth mindset is open to possibilities. It is grounded in perspective and a positive outlook. An example of this might sound like--"I have gained weight at holiday time in the past, but this year I am going to set myself up for success so that doesn't happen." By shifting the mindset to this kind of thinking, we are retraining the brain. We move away from all or nothing thinking. We leave behind our previous experiences that didn't work for us anyway, and we are opening ourselves up to something good--something we want: a new outcome.
This is not to suggest that if I think positive thoughts, I will get whatever I want like a winning lottery ticket. That's magical thinking. This is to remind us that we have control over our thoughts. We can choose to focus on positive ones, helpful ones, reflective ones. We can choose to silence negative thoughts that remind us of previous mistakes. By thinking positive thoughts, we feel better. We are grounded in reality. We then set our actions up for success too. If I don't want to gain weight at holiday time, I am booking my workouts, staying out of the kitchen at night, drinking one cocktail not two, restricting baking, etc.
We all have lived in our own heads for so long. It is so tempting to think that our thoughts are reality, but they don't have to be. We can rewrite our own success story by thinking of how we'd like it to go. The sky is the limit when it comes to getting what we really want. Yes, it is work that takes effort, but the rewards are so worthwhile. This work is making our very precious dreams come true.
A growth mindset is open to possibilities. It is grounded in perspective and a positive outlook. An example of this might sound like--"I have gained weight at holiday time in the past, but this year I am going to set myself up for success so that doesn't happen." By shifting the mindset to this kind of thinking, we are retraining the brain. We move away from all or nothing thinking. We leave behind our previous experiences that didn't work for us anyway, and we are opening ourselves up to something good--something we want: a new outcome.
This is not to suggest that if I think positive thoughts, I will get whatever I want like a winning lottery ticket. That's magical thinking. This is to remind us that we have control over our thoughts. We can choose to focus on positive ones, helpful ones, reflective ones. We can choose to silence negative thoughts that remind us of previous mistakes. By thinking positive thoughts, we feel better. We are grounded in reality. We then set our actions up for success too. If I don't want to gain weight at holiday time, I am booking my workouts, staying out of the kitchen at night, drinking one cocktail not two, restricting baking, etc.
We all have lived in our own heads for so long. It is so tempting to think that our thoughts are reality, but they don't have to be. We can rewrite our own success story by thinking of how we'd like it to go. The sky is the limit when it comes to getting what we really want. Yes, it is work that takes effort, but the rewards are so worthwhile. This work is making our very precious dreams come true.
Thursday, October 11, 2018
Mr. Rogers Grew Up With a Weight Problem?
When I was on a plane recently, I watched the Mr. Rogers Neighborhood movie. It is a documentary about Fred Rogers, the man, the minister, the children's advocate, the PBS personality in blue keds and a cardigan. I grew up watching the show. I remembered the sound of the trolly coming through the wall on its way to the Land of Make Believe. I remembered the puppets, the field trips, feeding the fish. As a kid, I just watched this calm show and liked his "won't you be my neighbor" songs and messages. As an adult, seeing snippets of episodes and listening to Mr. Rogers speak, I was flooded with nostalgia and surprised by a few things.
As a kid, I obviously didn't know about Fred Rogers going to Congress to get approval for his PBS show. He tossed his prepared remarks aside and spoke from the heart--specifically about helping kids manage stressful emotions. I didn't know about all the "Golden Rule" messages he was softly presenting. And, I certainly did not know that Fred Rogers had a weight problem growing up. Hmmm. In his era, that was not the norm, so he likely stood out from his peers. As an adult, he was also determined to overcome this problem. Hmmm. I can relate. He made sure that he swam every day, and he weighed himself every day. He even advertised his weight, 143, on the castle in the Land of Make Believe. He said that "143" represented the number of letters in each word in the phrase "I LOVE YOU." Maybe so, but it also stood for something very important to him personally. Hiding in plain sight, it was a mark of success for him.
As a Wellness Coach for almost fifteen years, I have the privilege of being up close and very personal with many people in their journeys, joys, struggles and successes as they create the life they really want. I truly believe we come like children to the studio workshop (formerly known as meeting) because we need a lot of reminding, modeling, reinforcing, steering, directing, cheering, companionship, acceptance and accountability to keep going. Self improvement with weight loss can be simple: eat less than you are now--specifically junk and eat more healthy foods. Move the body a little or a lot, frequently throughout the day. Drink lots of water and stay hydrated. Spend time with people who like you and like doing things with you. Go to bed and get good rest. Manage stress not by eating it, fighting it or screaming it--but by doing something stress relieving--like talking to a friend, exercising, meditating, walking.
It is all so basic, yet we often let it become so much more complicated than it needs to be. So, what about taking a page from Mr. Rogers' book. Make life a little simpler. Take small steps, little by little, moment by moment. Treasure the life you have now--knowing you are connected to so many other people who are traveling this very same path. Expect this to go well when you lead from the heart.
As a kid, I obviously didn't know about Fred Rogers going to Congress to get approval for his PBS show. He tossed his prepared remarks aside and spoke from the heart--specifically about helping kids manage stressful emotions. I didn't know about all the "Golden Rule" messages he was softly presenting. And, I certainly did not know that Fred Rogers had a weight problem growing up. Hmmm. In his era, that was not the norm, so he likely stood out from his peers. As an adult, he was also determined to overcome this problem. Hmmm. I can relate. He made sure that he swam every day, and he weighed himself every day. He even advertised his weight, 143, on the castle in the Land of Make Believe. He said that "143" represented the number of letters in each word in the phrase "I LOVE YOU." Maybe so, but it also stood for something very important to him personally. Hiding in plain sight, it was a mark of success for him.
As a Wellness Coach for almost fifteen years, I have the privilege of being up close and very personal with many people in their journeys, joys, struggles and successes as they create the life they really want. I truly believe we come like children to the studio workshop (formerly known as meeting) because we need a lot of reminding, modeling, reinforcing, steering, directing, cheering, companionship, acceptance and accountability to keep going. Self improvement with weight loss can be simple: eat less than you are now--specifically junk and eat more healthy foods. Move the body a little or a lot, frequently throughout the day. Drink lots of water and stay hydrated. Spend time with people who like you and like doing things with you. Go to bed and get good rest. Manage stress not by eating it, fighting it or screaming it--but by doing something stress relieving--like talking to a friend, exercising, meditating, walking.
It is all so basic, yet we often let it become so much more complicated than it needs to be. So, what about taking a page from Mr. Rogers' book. Make life a little simpler. Take small steps, little by little, moment by moment. Treasure the life you have now--knowing you are connected to so many other people who are traveling this very same path. Expect this to go well when you lead from the heart.
Thursday, October 4, 2018
How Do You Want to Feel
If you often eat based on how you feel, why not exercise based on how you would like to feel? For example, what if you'd like to feel more relaxed or energized or stronger? You might think about matching a relaxing activity like yoga, qigong or easy walking. If you are looking for more energy, you might consider spin class, jogging or bootcamp. If you are looking for strength, that could be a weight training class or kick boxing.
Exercise, fitness, activity, moving more--it all means the same thing: the body is in motion. This is a critical part of our wellness plan. Moving the body is the best way to dump stress hormones (cortisol and adrenaline) from the system. Moving the body gives the mind a much needed break. It allows the mind to stop jumping from one thought to another, which can feel exhausting. Moving the body gives us more body confidence and a sense of accomplishment. We can use that goodwill to inform food choices and stay focused on goals.
The good thing is that we don't have to commit hours to fitness to get the benefits. We can commit bits of time, because ten minutes here and ten minutes there adds up to twenty minutes of fitness that we might not otherwise commit to. Some effort is always better than none. It all adds up. It all counts.
It makes sense to find activities you like. The more you like what you are doing, the more likely you are to continue doing it. That seems obvious. But, what if you are one of those people who really doesn't like exercise? You can do it anyway. Just find what you dislike the least, and try it for ten minutes. Find a buddy to participate--like a walk during work? An accountability partner might just make this happen.
Weight loss comes from healthy food choices, mostly. This is key component in creating a healthy lifestyle. Another key component to a healthy lifestyle is adding more steps, more fit breaks, more activity to daily life. It's worth the effort because your goals are worth the effort.
Move a little more, and notice how it makes you feel. Then, keep going!
Exercise, fitness, activity, moving more--it all means the same thing: the body is in motion. This is a critical part of our wellness plan. Moving the body is the best way to dump stress hormones (cortisol and adrenaline) from the system. Moving the body gives the mind a much needed break. It allows the mind to stop jumping from one thought to another, which can feel exhausting. Moving the body gives us more body confidence and a sense of accomplishment. We can use that goodwill to inform food choices and stay focused on goals.
The good thing is that we don't have to commit hours to fitness to get the benefits. We can commit bits of time, because ten minutes here and ten minutes there adds up to twenty minutes of fitness that we might not otherwise commit to. Some effort is always better than none. It all adds up. It all counts.
It makes sense to find activities you like. The more you like what you are doing, the more likely you are to continue doing it. That seems obvious. But, what if you are one of those people who really doesn't like exercise? You can do it anyway. Just find what you dislike the least, and try it for ten minutes. Find a buddy to participate--like a walk during work? An accountability partner might just make this happen.
Weight loss comes from healthy food choices, mostly. This is key component in creating a healthy lifestyle. Another key component to a healthy lifestyle is adding more steps, more fit breaks, more activity to daily life. It's worth the effort because your goals are worth the effort.
Move a little more, and notice how it makes you feel. Then, keep going!
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