When my girls were little, their father would say to them when they were fighting "Who's got the power?" Typically, it was my younger daughter, Natalie, who was upset about something with her older sister, Lilia. Eventually, Natalie realized that she didn't have to let her sister upset her. Natalie realized that if she just looked at the situation differently, she would see that she had the power all along.
I am now thinking about "who's got the power" in a different context. For starters, it is not the past. The past decidedly does not have the power because it is over. You cannot go back and redo it. If there are lessons to learn from it or wisdom to glean from it--even that process happens in the PRESENT. The present moment has got the power always. In the same vein, the future decidedly does not have the power either, because it hasn't happened yet, and it may never come. Truth. That brings us back to the gift of the present moment.
It is in the present moment where we can create mindset shifts. This is also where we can purposely choose our thoughts, e.g. no languishing over mistakes from yesteryear and no borrowing troubles from a future that may never come. This is a freeing space to be in. It means you can focus on one thing at a time. That is a stress reliever in itself.
Focusing on positive thoughts that you can choose, which eventually become positive feelings, which eventually give way to positive actions is at the heart of this incredibly helpful tool for creating healthier habits.
Allowing that voice in your head to speak kindly and compassionately to yourself is also key. The positive self talk shifts the mindset from negative self criticism to helpful thoughts that enable you to feel better and do better.
The gratitude attitude works too. Choosing to find three good things a day to discover, to name, to recognize and appreciate trains your brain to look for more positive things. This is also a shift.
Finally, remembering your reasons why you care so much. This is critical in doing the work of self improvement. If you want a clean house because having a clean house makes you feel calmer and more content, then you are willing to do the work to clean it (or hire someone). You want the results that cleaning brings to you, so you put your time in, and while you are swiffering around, you don't focus on hating the task of cleaning, you focus on accomplishing the job and benefiting from the rewards. This too shifts the mindset.
It is a lifelong practice to shift the mindset to that which is positive and helpful. However, this mindset work is creates a healthier pattern of eating, exercising and living. That's a life worth living for and working for.
Thursday, January 30, 2020
Thursday, January 23, 2020
A Reflection of How You Are Now
What would life be like without mirrors to reflect how we look for the moment? Spinach in your teeth? Get it out before you go back to the party. Wake up with bed head, get in the shower and wash that mop as you start your day. What about the all dressed up and ready to go out reflection? Yes, you DO look good. That's information worth having.
Without a reflection of how we look at any given moment, or what we present to ourselves and the greater world, we might not know valuable information that just might serve you. Consider driving your vehicle with no rear view mirror. You have no clue what is behind you, so you act on blind faith that you won't run into something when you back up. Not safe and not cool. No, I do want to see what's in that mirror too.
Now let's consider your food tracking. That too is a reflection of where you are. It is not a judge or a jury. It will not talk back to you if you have hot fudge sauce on it. Your tracker, whether online, on paper or in a fancy journal is merely a reflection of a moment in time, a meal or a snack, that can give you valuable information.
If you pretrack, you can just follow your plan for dinner when the time comes. You don't worry about what you'll make; you don't think; you just make what you planned. That's instructive, helpful and stress reducing. If you track after the fact, you may sometimes discover, albeit the hard way, that those hamburgers at Five Guys are a ton of points, and those fries are just too much. This too is valuable information, because the next time a Five Guys opportunity comes up, you might be freer to say "no thank you" and really mean it.
There is no judge or jury in your reflection. There is just a reflection of a moment in time. If you observe that you like what you see, keep doing what you are doing. On the other hand, if you observe you do not like what you are tracking, it's time to make a change. No self criticism and no going backwards. In the same way you can't uneat your spinach lasagna and not get spinach caught between your teeth, you can't fix the past. You can only move on from now. Now is where the power is.
A healthy lifestyle is practicing good eating, good sleeping, good water drinking, good exercising, good meditating, good hobby making and good tracking MOSTLY RIGHT MOST OF THE TIME.
That looks good on everyone.
Without a reflection of how we look at any given moment, or what we present to ourselves and the greater world, we might not know valuable information that just might serve you. Consider driving your vehicle with no rear view mirror. You have no clue what is behind you, so you act on blind faith that you won't run into something when you back up. Not safe and not cool. No, I do want to see what's in that mirror too.
Now let's consider your food tracking. That too is a reflection of where you are. It is not a judge or a jury. It will not talk back to you if you have hot fudge sauce on it. Your tracker, whether online, on paper or in a fancy journal is merely a reflection of a moment in time, a meal or a snack, that can give you valuable information.
If you pretrack, you can just follow your plan for dinner when the time comes. You don't worry about what you'll make; you don't think; you just make what you planned. That's instructive, helpful and stress reducing. If you track after the fact, you may sometimes discover, albeit the hard way, that those hamburgers at Five Guys are a ton of points, and those fries are just too much. This too is valuable information, because the next time a Five Guys opportunity comes up, you might be freer to say "no thank you" and really mean it.
There is no judge or jury in your reflection. There is just a reflection of a moment in time. If you observe that you like what you see, keep doing what you are doing. On the other hand, if you observe you do not like what you are tracking, it's time to make a change. No self criticism and no going backwards. In the same way you can't uneat your spinach lasagna and not get spinach caught between your teeth, you can't fix the past. You can only move on from now. Now is where the power is.
A healthy lifestyle is practicing good eating, good sleeping, good water drinking, good exercising, good meditating, good hobby making and good tracking MOSTLY RIGHT MOST OF THE TIME.
That looks good on everyone.
Sunday, January 12, 2020
More About You: Move over 2020
Now that we are used to writing "2020" I have been hearing some people say that the new year hasn't really started yet for them. I get it. Sometimes we don't change with the stroke of midnight. Sometimes it takes a while to get into a groove. Maybe you aren't sure what you are hoping for in 2020? Maybe you are sick of being disappointed? Maybe you are frozen? Maybe you are one of the many who will give up your 2020 resolutions by January 17 (the day most people do give them up).
Firstly, there is no need to worry or obsess about this. If you aren't feeling like joining a gym, training for a marathon or investing in protein shakes while creating a minimalist life, it's ok. Being too ambitious is a surefire way to fail. It is tiny steps that count, because they add up, over tiny moments that add up to days, weeks, etc.
Secondly, consider what is making you happy in your present circumstances. Do you like your exercise routine? Do you like the people you go out with? Do you like your clothes? Do you like your job or your volunteer work? If any of these categories are giving you pause, then give yourself some time to wonder. You can't change others, but you can start brainstorming a change for yourself.
The frozen tundra months can feel like a drag, and January can sometimes feel like a let down after a busy holiday time. Spring break is not on the horizon yet. You are stuck inside a lot, with you! That's ok too. I am one of those people not feeling this new year/new you resolution hoopla. I'll be honest. I have lots of projects in the works that will be coming to fruition in 2020. I have my dream house being built that will be completed in 2020. I also have some itches that need to be scratched and some work projects to sort out in 2020, and I am not completely clear on that front yet. Still pondering. It's ok!
One thing I am sure of, and I must remind myself and you--is that when you are not feeling your greatest, or your most energetic or your most protein-powdered up--you are focusing on the wrong thing. ME TOO. Focus on your gifts, your assets, your goodness, your people, your service to others, your wonderful dog who loves you no matter what, and you will be rewarded with happiness. Focus on your shortcomings or icky feelings, and you will be punished with unhappiness. That is no one's resolution for any year. So, move over 2020. You just might have been evolving all along.
Firstly, there is no need to worry or obsess about this. If you aren't feeling like joining a gym, training for a marathon or investing in protein shakes while creating a minimalist life, it's ok. Being too ambitious is a surefire way to fail. It is tiny steps that count, because they add up, over tiny moments that add up to days, weeks, etc.
Secondly, consider what is making you happy in your present circumstances. Do you like your exercise routine? Do you like the people you go out with? Do you like your clothes? Do you like your job or your volunteer work? If any of these categories are giving you pause, then give yourself some time to wonder. You can't change others, but you can start brainstorming a change for yourself.
The frozen tundra months can feel like a drag, and January can sometimes feel like a let down after a busy holiday time. Spring break is not on the horizon yet. You are stuck inside a lot, with you! That's ok too. I am one of those people not feeling this new year/new you resolution hoopla. I'll be honest. I have lots of projects in the works that will be coming to fruition in 2020. I have my dream house being built that will be completed in 2020. I also have some itches that need to be scratched and some work projects to sort out in 2020, and I am not completely clear on that front yet. Still pondering. It's ok!
One thing I am sure of, and I must remind myself and you--is that when you are not feeling your greatest, or your most energetic or your most protein-powdered up--you are focusing on the wrong thing. ME TOO. Focus on your gifts, your assets, your goodness, your people, your service to others, your wonderful dog who loves you no matter what, and you will be rewarded with happiness. Focus on your shortcomings or icky feelings, and you will be punished with unhappiness. That is no one's resolution for any year. So, move over 2020. You just might have been evolving all along.
Thursday, January 2, 2020
Your 2020
Now that the holiday season is over and 2019 is in the books, it is time to consider your successes, triumphs and challenges. If you could give yourself a report card for the year, how would you grade yourself? Were you following your dreams? Were you working diligently towards mini goals? Did you exercise discipline and sticktoitiveness? Did you embrace special moments? Did you get sidetracked by life circumstances? Did you get challenged by unforeseen events, people, timing? What might have held you back?
Be honest with your assessment. Give yourself the credit you are due, but also reflect on the sticky spots where you might have fallen short of your best intentions. This can go a long way in setting yourself up for future success. The game of life keeps playing. By gathering wisdom from the past, we can move forward with more power.
It is always worthwhile recommitting and refocusing on yourself. We are forever lifelong learners which is part of what makes life interesting. We will never know everything, read everything, see everything in the world. However, we can make the most of the enriching life experiences we do have the chance to take and the unplanned events we had no clue were coming our way.
This is the time to plan a fresh start by considering mini goals for the day or the week that will add up to bigger goals over time. Where would you like to be by February? Where would you like to be by spring break? What do you see yourself doing differently with your job, your house, your finances in that time frame? Start considering your options. Start charting your course by working backwards to now. At the very least, dream big because your big life depends on it.
Be honest with your assessment. Give yourself the credit you are due, but also reflect on the sticky spots where you might have fallen short of your best intentions. This can go a long way in setting yourself up for future success. The game of life keeps playing. By gathering wisdom from the past, we can move forward with more power.
It is always worthwhile recommitting and refocusing on yourself. We are forever lifelong learners which is part of what makes life interesting. We will never know everything, read everything, see everything in the world. However, we can make the most of the enriching life experiences we do have the chance to take and the unplanned events we had no clue were coming our way.
This is the time to plan a fresh start by considering mini goals for the day or the week that will add up to bigger goals over time. Where would you like to be by February? Where would you like to be by spring break? What do you see yourself doing differently with your job, your house, your finances in that time frame? Start considering your options. Start charting your course by working backwards to now. At the very least, dream big because your big life depends on it.
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