When my girls were little, their father would say to them when they were fighting "Who's got the power?" Typically, it was my younger daughter, Natalie, who was upset about something with her older sister, Lilia. Eventually, Natalie realized that she didn't have to let her sister upset her. Natalie realized that if she just looked at the situation differently, she would see that she had the power all along.
I am now thinking about "who's got the power" in a different context. For starters, it is not the past. The past decidedly does not have the power because it is over. You cannot go back and redo it. If there are lessons to learn from it or wisdom to glean from it--even that process happens in the PRESENT. The present moment has got the power always. In the same vein, the future decidedly does not have the power either, because it hasn't happened yet, and it may never come. Truth. That brings us back to the gift of the present moment.
It is in the present moment where we can create mindset shifts. This is also where we can purposely choose our thoughts, e.g. no languishing over mistakes from yesteryear and no borrowing troubles from a future that may never come. This is a freeing space to be in. It means you can focus on one thing at a time. That is a stress reliever in itself.
Focusing on positive thoughts that you can choose, which eventually become positive feelings, which eventually give way to positive actions is at the heart of this incredibly helpful tool for creating healthier habits.
Allowing that voice in your head to speak kindly and compassionately to yourself is also key. The positive self talk shifts the mindset from negative self criticism to helpful thoughts that enable you to feel better and do better.
The gratitude attitude works too. Choosing to find three good things a day to discover, to name, to recognize and appreciate trains your brain to look for more positive things. This is also a shift.
Finally, remembering your reasons why you care so much. This is critical in doing the work of self improvement. If you want a clean house because having a clean house makes you feel calmer and more content, then you are willing to do the work to clean it (or hire someone). You want the results that cleaning brings to you, so you put your time in, and while you are swiffering around, you don't focus on hating the task of cleaning, you focus on accomplishing the job and benefiting from the rewards. This too shifts the mindset.
It is a lifelong practice to shift the mindset to that which is positive and helpful. However, this mindset work is creates a healthier pattern of eating, exercising and living. That's a life worth living for and working for.
No comments:
Post a Comment