Keep Your Tribe Close By

I developed a workshop for the WW Cruise called "Keep Your Tribe Close By."  It is a forty-five minute discussion at the end of seven days of heaven at sea, where we gather to discuss the highlights and aha moments of the cruise experience and brainstorm ways to keep the learnings, practices,  mindfulness and commitment going even after returning home to "real life."  

One of the most surprising things I ever heard when doing this workshop came from a person who shared that she never belonged to a tribe before.  She was amazed that among 600 fellow WW members, she finally felt a part of things.  This speaks to how powerful being connected to people who care about what you care about and who understand what you are experiencing can be.  No man or woman is an island.  We all need other people to help us along, to cheer us up in bad times and cheer us on in good times. This is why I talk about weight loss being a group effort.  We all need each other, the collective experience to see ourselves and make sense of the journey.  

When it comes to fitness, this can be even more important.  Many of us need that special someone--whether it is a trainer or a scheduled class of people or a buddy in order to commit to doing it.  Not only is it more fun with other people, it feels less like a "have to" item on the agenda and a whole lot more like play.  As adults, we still need our play time.  We need time to let the mind and all of its trappings quiet down.  We need to get the body moving because we sit too long due to technology.  We need to fill up our hearts with activities that make us feel happy, accomplished and might even improve our body image and self esteem.  

This week, make that effort to be a little more physically active than last week.  With spring in the air, it can be done.  The season of new growth is upon us, and it is time to get out and enjoy it.  Make it fun, make it a date with a friend or a class, and make it happen.  Your body and mind will thank you.

Don't Believe Everything You Think

I saw a great bumper sticker a few weeks ago that said "don't believe everything you think."  It made me chuckle at the time, because it is so true.  So many of the thoughts roaming and racing through our heads are not based in reality.  Some are ruminations over the past.  Some are anxieties and worries about the future.  Neither of these is helpful.

My coach friend, Jennifer, reminded me that it takes three good thoughts to undo the damage of one negative thought.  That is a lot of wasted time getting rid of the bad to make room for the good--which is what is required to keep going.  However, this is exactly the work we must do to live in the present moment and to make sense of our own unique circumstances, which happen to be constantly shifting.

The advice is simple--check your thoughts.  Ask yourself the question--is this about a past that you can do nothing about?  Is this about attaching to a future that is beyond your control?  And the clincher question--is this a helpful thought?  Body shaming, self criticism, hanging on to things that are beyond your control, attaching to negative feelings are NOT helpful thoughts.  They will make us feel defeated, helpless and maybe hopeless.  It doesn't have to be this way.

Check in with yourself frequently throughout the day, especially when you find yourself frustrated or challenged.  Take a deep breath and ask yourself if what you are thinking is helpful or not.  If you aren't sure, then ask yourself if I would encourage you to continue with these thoughts.  If not, it is time to replace your negative thoughts with something positive--like something I might say to you.

It takes practice to keep checking in with yourself.  It is a choice, though that can help you stay grounded in reality and live in the present moment.  It is a choice to stay positive more often than negative.  It is a choice to choose progress over perfection.  It is a choice to say--if I think better of myself and my circumstances, I will feel better.  If I feel better, I will do better.
That's worth every bit of positive self talk.  Because you are worth the effort.  This is your one and only life, so it has to be the one you create for yourself, that meets your high standards.  That is the most helpful thought of all.

Dreams or Goals

Some people say that dreams are goals with deadlines.  Deadlines are timely.  There is built in pressure to complete something by a certain date.  That pressure is part of what makes the achievement happen in the first place.  But timeliness is not enough.  Being specific about what it is you want, being realistic about it, knowing that you can measure your success and achieve it are also part of the equation.

Everyone can dream of something great--of some place fabulous--of some experience or achievement.  The path to happiness, however, comes from within.  It comes from aligning your dreams with what is in your heart.  It is the part of you that is pure and completely honest.  That's the starting point, because dreams that are worth pursuing come from what makes you uniquely yourself.  Lead with the heart.

Thinking about this dream comes from the work of the mind. Get smart. Consider what it takes, to lose 10 pounds for example or run a 5K or fit into a pair of jeans.  Then walk back the small, actionable steps that you must do in order for that dream to come to life.  The small steps are your work, day in and day out.  They are not necessarily the funnest part of bringing your dream to life, but they aren't the worst either.  Govern with the mind.

Let's also think about bringing the body into the picture.  You have one, so you need to use it for good.  What can your body actually do to be a part of this dream coming to life?  You have to listen to it, because if you are sick or injured or recovering from surgery, your body is in a state of healing.  Preparing for a 5K is not going to happen at a time like that.  There are other messages your body gives you through fatigue, pain, weakness or soreness.  If you are listening to these messages, you can align your goals with your dreams and be more realistic.  Listen to the body.

Dreaming big might be fun, but without a good plan to back up those dreams, they probably won't happen.  Dreams actually take time, effort and energy, i.e. work with your smart brain and your physical body to come alive.  This week, give yourself the time to chart the course to make one of your dreams come to life.  Tell someone about it.  Write down the steps.  Put deadlines and reminders on your phone.  Show up for yourself and see what happens.  It just might be a dream come true--all because of you.