What Is Worth Keeping and What Is Worth Leaving Behind?

At this time of year, we hear about the highs and lows of the year.  Oftentimes, friends review the past twelve months and pick photos that best depict the high points of the year and make those images the centerpiece of their holiday greeting card.  Others review the year in stories.  They recount trips taken, babies born, experiences like marriages (or divorces), new jobs, etc.  Some years, the news is not so wonderful, in which case, we usually don't want to broadcast those images on any card or facebook post.  In fact, the year I was going through my divorce was the first year in my adult life that I couldn't even bring myself to send Christmas cards.  I was too distracted and upset.

We often have a feeling that when the calendar turns, our life will too.  The truth of the matter is more nuanced.  Life events come to us in waves.  We don't decide to get a new job and then have one the next day.  We don't get a nasty head cold and then get better in minutes.   There is a gradual building up and a gradual letting down.  "Things" take time--their own sweet time.  

As we say goodbye to 2016, we can reflect on what the year brought to our lives and made our lives worth living.  We can think about the people who helped us and made our life feel richer and more meaningful.  We can consider the experiences we had that stretched us.  We can even review the losses we suffered.  It is likely a complex picture.  With a full range of emotions as human beings, of course it is a complex picture.

Now is a good time to consider all that 2016 brought to our lives--and what we would like to expand upon in 2017 and what we'd like to leave behind.  How do you enjoy spending your valuable free time?  Are you fulfilled in your hobbies and activities?  Is there more to learn, or is it time to move on to something else entirely?  What about the people you spend time with?  Are you still benefiting from those connections in a way that matters to you, or is it time to disengage a bit?  What about the state of your health?  Are you happy with what you do to promote and preserve good health and wellbeing?  Are you feeling that this is an area to improve upon?  There is no right or wrong answer, and there is no judgment.  It's up to you how you value and view things.  

So consider your life a precious one.  Consider the run-up to 2017 to be a time of transition to more of what you'd like to invite.   Do not waste your precious life.

Stay Sane

We hear the message so often:  slow down, calm down, take a deep breath, take care of yourself, let it go, you are doing too much... Yet, how often do we really take the good advice and do just that?  During this busy holiday month, we need more frequent breaks, more rest not less and less "clutter" in our brains and on our calendar which all gets in the way of healthy living.

There is no perfect way to do this.  There is no perfect anything when it comes to human beings who are always changing in our feelings, attitudes, energy levels.  So, let me be clear.  Just because we take frequent breaks and breaths does not mean we will be stress-free and blissful.  Instead, what it does mean is that the busy demands of daily life do not have to overwhelm us to the point of frustration or unpleasantness, mindless eating or road rage.

Stress doesn't go away.  It is a wave in our lives that comes in and goes out in varying degrees of intensity throughout the day.  Everything from getting up on a snowy morning to seven inches of snow to shovel to managing job expectations, family demands, finances and relationships and more can create a ripple of stress that energizes the day.   How we look at these things is key.  Keeping perspective is critical.  Being more positive than negative is definitely the path to follow.

What managing stress means is that we are aware of what is going on, deeply aware.  We sense when we are getting overwhelmed with pressure.  Perhaps we can even identify its source.  We are that in touch.  We can then take a pause and consider our options, how to proceed, whom to discuss the problem with, what to do or NOT do.  We can always use our two legs and take a step away from technology.  We can clear our head and walk.  The path to the troubled mind goes straight through the body (in motion) and the intentional breath (in and out through the nose).  After taking a pause that has the potential to refresh, we can regain the composure we need to move on to the next moment.

Our ancestors didn't have technology and stimuli the way we do.  Of course they had other stressors and other worries like survival on their minds.  They led physical lives.  Things that we take for granted, like food and heating, were concerns for them.  They had to deal with the "elements" which kept them grounded to nature--for better or worse.   The information age we live in keeps us hyper-alert and responsive to a device that won't stop talking.  It keeps the active mind "on call," and it produces stress.  We can't ever "turn it off" or tune it out because it is always "on."  That means it is up to us to set the boundaries for how much we want to deal with and when.

Let's be interested observers of ourselves this week.  Let's take a look at how we handle things like waiting in line, weather, difficult people, annoying circumstances at the mall, the evening news.  Are we aware and in touch enough to notice when we need to tune out the external messages and tune into what we really care about?  Can we slow down a little bit to notice?

It is up to us to stay sane.  It's time to practice.

There's Only So Much Room in Your Brain

I was listening to an NPR broadcast this past Saturday.  A neuroscientist from California was doing a study about the brain.  He asked a group of people in one room to remember a certain number given to them. Some people got a two-digit number to memorize and recall.  Other people got a six-digit number to memorize and recall.  No one knew whose number was whose or who got a longer number or not.  Then, each person was asked to leave the room and move to another room down the hall where they'd be asked to recall their number.  Unbeknownst to the participants, they were greeted in the hallway by a person offering a snack of either healthy fruit or chocolate cake.  This is where the work of the study was taking place.  There was an overwhelming choice of fruit by the two-digit people.  The six-digit people were most likely to choose cake.  The scientist determined that when the rational part of the brain is working hard (remembering six digits) it cannot also make additional rational choices such as eat healthy fruit instead of sugary, caloric cake.

We can use this information to our advantage during this busy holiday time with so much temptation all around.  We only have so much "real estate" available in our brains to make decisions.  This reminds me of "decision fatigue."   Yet another study I heard regarding prisoners who were coming up for release.  When researchers compared prisoners who were released and those who were not, they noticed that the prisoners whose cases were reviewed in the afternoon were far more likely NOT to be released--even when they had comparable cases compared to the morning prisoners.  The scientists realized that the review board suffered from "decision fatigue."  After having made so many decisions already, instead of risking the wrong choice, they deferred the cases of the afternoon prisoners.  OUCH.  Clearly, the brain can only handle so much. This can help explain why is is harder to make healthy choices later in the day, like from 3PM - bedtime.

Let's be clear--of course there is a time and place for cake.  Let's not pretend that we would always vote for fruit instead of cake no matter what else we are thinking or what time it is.  However, we do want to set ourselves up for as much success as possible.  By slowing down long enough to consider our choices, we can let go of whatever else might be occupying our thoughts.  We can then benefit from smarter choices. That benefit can bring more personal satisfaction.  That benefit can help us shift our thinking.   That's where lifestyle change begins.

Listen to Your Body

We are facing so much temptation this time of year.  Friends, family and coworkers like to go "all out" and entertain to impress.  We get a lot of encouragement to indulge and overindulge.  Because of our snacking culture, this can be a dangerous month for the waistline.   That's part of the problem, "holiday time" lasts from Thanksgiving to New Years Day, which means we have to pace ourselves.

We have lots of extra jobs to do during the month of December.  Planning, cleaning, decorating, shopping, wrapping, going to festive events, entertaining house guests and maybe even travel are part of what makes the holiday season special.  It can also make it stressful.  Our regular life needs attention too.  Things like laundry, work and family activities are top priorities too.

The more we have to do, the more stressful our life becomes.  The more pressure we imagine in our minds, the more stress we feel.  The higher our expectations, the more stress we get tangled in trying to meet those expectations.  When we are stressed out, cortisol releases in the adrenal glands.  Cortisol makes us crave junky foods and retain belly fat.  Eventually, if there is enough cortisol in the body, it will suppress the immune system which leads to sickness. This is not what we need when we are trying to enjoy the holiday season in the face of so many extra treats, temptations and holiday foods.

What we can do this time of year, just like during any other high energy time of year, is SLOW DOWN.  It sounds counter intuitive.  Slowing down sounds like we will get less done not more?  However, the benefit of slowing down is that we get out of the overthinking mind (I've got so much to do, I guess I will stay on autopilot and keep going...grrr).  When we slow down, literally take a moment to stop the world and just sit without digital tools, we can take a well deserved and much needed break.  We can take a few deep breaths in and out through the nose and start noticing what is going on in the body.  By doing this, we gain greater awareness about how we feel--how hungry we are--what are cravings are telling us.  We can notice if it has been too long without food (three hours is the limit for most of us).   This can help us enormously when faced with high calorie foods at every turn.  If we are on autopilot because of busyness and stress, we might mindlessly consume treats, snacks and then end up feeling sluggish and even more stressed.

The path to the mind is actually through the body.  This is why exercise is our most effective stress reliever. Meditation is our second most effective stress reliever.  While we may not always be able to get out for a walk or to a fitness class, we always have our breath with us.  We can practice this mindful breathing anywhere and at any time.  It will bring us back to the moment and keep us grounded in what we really want. It will make us feel more in control.  It will help make us feel that we are leading a fulfilling life--one that matters--centered on our values.  That is worth slowing down for.

Happy Thanksgiving

It's that time of year to kick start the holiday season with the feast of the table.  We all know that it can often be a high calorie, high fat, high sugar and maybe even a high alcohol kind of day.  Of course there are many ways to lighten up everything from stuffing to pie.   However, how often do people really do this?  How often do people alter their typical family favorites?  It's a holiday grounded in tradition after all.

This year, what I am recommending is that we focus on behavior change more than the SmartPoints and calories in the foods we eat.  That starts with correct portions.  On Thanksgiving, like all days, we still need to know what a "right size" portion is.  Half cups of starchy side dishes are considered one serving.  That includes stuffing, corn pudding, sweet potato casserole, mashed potatoes, cole slaw.  One dinner roll is one serving.  One quarter cup of cranberry sauce is one serving.  Turkey itself, a lean protein, is not the problem with Thanksgiving foods.  Three ounces of turkey is considered one serving.  One slice of pie is one serving.

With the smells and family memories, the sights of foods we see only once a year, it can be challenging to stay focused.   The healthy habits we have worked so hard to develop throughout the year can help.  Eating a light breakfast and lunch makes sense.  Getting some exercise early in the day establishes a great start and may even create a new tradition.  If TV is involved, it would be helpful to have healthier snack options like fruit, vegetables, light soup or popcorn around.  After all, a big meal is coming up, and we don't need to fill up on foods that are ordinary compared to what delectable foods are yet to come.

Shifting our thinking is important.  This will not be our last Thanksgiving meal so we don't need to behave like it.  We can enjoy all of our favorites without overdoing it.  We have to stay mindful. We already know we will be having treats this Thursday that we don't normally eat.  We are anticipating how wonderful it will be.  We are thinking of the traditions, the smells, the warm kitchen and the fabulous table.  Let's also be thinking of how we will stay in control.  How will we know that we are absolutely finished eating that day (i.e. brush teeth)?  How will we slow down the eating at the table?  How will we focus on family, friends, conversation or activity to stay in control?  How do we want to feel when Thanksgiving is over?  What will we have for breakfast on Friday?

We have a lot to be grateful for...health, happiness, family, friends, pets, gainful employment, our bodies and minds.  If we shift our thinking in our mind, then our bodies will reward us.  We will be satisfied and even pleasantly full.  We will feel accomplished and contented instead of sorry and sluggish.

I'm sending all of you my best wishes for a great Thanksgiving.   Enjoy everything you do, every bite you take, every moment to remember.  And then keep moving.

Expectations: Stay Sane over the Holiday Season

We all have expectations for how we would like things to go.  I would like to wake up rested.  I would like to see the sun shining.  I would like to avoid the flu this winter.  These are small things that can have a big impact on my day.   During this busy, holiday time of year, many of us have far greater expectations for how we'd like things to go--from foods at the holiday table, to the guests sitting in the chairs, to the football game to watch on the big tv, to who is cleaning up all those dishes anyway.  Therein lies the rub.  There are so many forces outside our control, and counting on people behaving or events unfolding exactly the way we'd like can set us up for varying degrees of disappointment.  Disappointment is stressful.  Disappointment will raise the cortisol in the system--help us crave junky high fat, high carb foods and help us retain belly fat.

Most people I know would like to be in the driver's seat when it comes to what happens in their lives especially between now and January 1, 2017, i.e. the holiday season.   However, other people's expectations of us might get in the way.  The weather, the workload, the chores and jobs at home, the family dynamics and the extra stress can play a dramatic role as well.

How are we going to cope and hopefully enjoy the festivities, take breaks as we'd like and not end up frazzled, frustrated or overeating and overdrinking?  It's a balancing act just like the rest of life.  We decide, in advance, what are our priorities?  What is involved with these priorities--is it other people, our time, our money or cooperation?  What can we do--NOT WHAT CAN"T WE DO--to help expectations be met? WHAT CAN WE DO to balance fantasy with reality?  If we expect everyone at the family to be kind-hearted, polite, appropriate, helpful and not bring up controversial topics--then we might be disappointed if guests show up just to stretch out on the couch and watch football, drink a lot of booze and bemoan the recent election.  POOF to holiday expectations.

Life is unpredictable.  It does pose challenges that we may not ever see coming.  However, that doesn't mean we can't get what we really want.  We can choose to be positive by focusing on what matters most and by being flexible so that we can "go with the flow" when we are smacked with that dark side between what we want and what we actually get.

Spend some time thinking about how you'd like the next six weeks to go?  Think about what you really need?  A babysitter to shop in peace?  A night alone at home, going to bed early?  A fun outing with friends to get in the mood?  An assist from the grocery store for a beautiful pie or side dish?  Think about what you really want?  A busy holiday season?  A relaxed holiday season sticking to sleeping, eating, exercising routines as much as possible?  Think about how realistic these expectations are.  Think about setting yourself up to choose positivity no matter how things actually go.  With that life skill at hand, you can have what you really want, i.e. progress not perfection.  You can have a happy holiday season with limited frustration and maximum joy.

Get the Help You Need and Deserve

No one is an island.  We are all part of a much bigger system, connected and interconnected.  How we behave, the choices we make have a profound effect directly on our own lives and also indirectly on the lives of those around us.  Whether we realize this or not, we need each other to keep going.

When it comes to food choices, we have 200 of them to make every single day.  Unfortunately, we make so many of those choices alone.  There might be others around us, but we are the ones in the chip aisle at the grocery store.  We are the ones who make a good breakfast early in the morning or just grab something in the drive through on the way to work.  We are the ones choosing leftover pizza for dinner at 9PM when we are too tired or stressed for anything else.

Wouldn't it be nice if we enlisted the help of others to keep us on track, focused and supported?  Wouldn't it be smart if we asked for the help we need in especially challenging situations so that we could power through them and feel good about it.  No one wants to be the person who says no! no! no! to snacks at parties while everyone else seems to be indulging.  No one wants to feel that different and alone.  We are part of a much bigger picture, and we can use that to our advantage.

Making lifestyle changes is a push against the tide.  It is a mental, physical and emotional undertaking.  When we want more for our lives, we need lots of help.  While we can't expect everyone to cheer us on every step of the way, what we can do is talk to our true friends and caring family members and let them know we would like their assistance.  This might come in the form of agreeing on a restaurant with healthier options. This might look like their offering fruit and veggies and light appetizers at a party not just pizza and wings. This might be a request that you make to someone in advance, to come up to you at Thanksgiving or at a party and say "good job--you are getting through this."

As kids, we had cheerleaders--our parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers.  It was their job to encourage us, guide us, redirect us and give us the support we needed.  As adults, we too need a rah rah squad from time to time.  If you need more from the people you live with, work with, socialize with--then ask them kindly for their support.  Expect them to offer it.  Remind them how much you appreciate them for helping.   Start living the dream of a more fulfilling, vital life, one choice at a time.  

Moving On

No matter what happens, time marches on; the sun rises in the sky; the seasons change; and life does go on. Our lives do move in cycles.  Sometimes, we are "up" when all seems to be going our way.  Other times, we are "down" when it's time to reflect.  This is normal and happens to everyone,  However, as we work hard to lose weight and improve our eating, it's easy to make mistakes--by making a choice we might later regret or by overeating or by eating out of stress.

With over 200 choices to make every day about food, it's hard to believe that all 200 choices would be exactly correct.  Following the program mostly right, most of the time is the goal.  This approach gives us the wiggle room we need.  This creates a broad, realistic view.  Most importantly, this point of view enables us to MOVE ON, no matter what happens.  This is a critical life skill.  Accepting the fact that no matter what happens, we choose to move forward is hopeful and mature.  While we can learn from mistakes or temporary setbacks, we cannot stall in self pity or frustration.  We can take a look at what went wrong AND what went right and MOVE ON.

I heard a trainer in the gym ask a client "How motivated are you?"  It's a great question because when we feel highly motivated to succeed, we work hard.  We find solutions to problems.  We plan ahead.  We set ourselves up to achieve.  We show up for the gym even when we are tired.  Alternatively, when we are not motivated to succeed, we make excuses and let temporary setbacks overwhelm us.

We know that the journey of life is ever changing.  It has twists and turns.  It takes us down roads we may have never anticipated.  It presents challenges and surprises.  To be fully alive and aware, we notice these things, but we do not get sidetracked by them.  We keep moving.

Expect a great life.  Expect a life full of adventure and self improvement, health and wellbeing.  Expect the natural ebbs and flows.  Expect to gather the internal forces to keep going.

 

Feel Your Feelings and Speak Your Mind

As the mother of two teenage daughters, I can say that I have parented them from the time they were little to "feel their feelings and speak their minds."   Instead of dealing with a temper tantrum, I used to say "use your words."  These messages are just as appropriate for us as adults, because when we don't check in on a regular basis, long enough to dial down the tension and activity, we may not be connected to how we feel and what our needs are.

When I led a Find Your Me workshop this past weekend, we talked about feelings and how connected they are to needs.  Feelings can be scary for some because there is no logic or rationale behind them.  If you feel sad, you are sad.  There was a song about this "It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to."  If you feel lonely despite being a member of a big family at a reunion, those feelings are real and deserve attention.  We don't ever have to defend feelings or explain them or justify them.  Furthermore, they are always shifting from one moment to the next.

We often characterize feelings like happiness, self confidence and joy as positive and feelings like fear, frustration or anger as negative.  The truth is that feelings don't benefit from labels like this.  Feelings don't need to be judged.  Because we have them, they are legitimate.  Because they exist, they deserve our attention.  Most importantly, feelings represent needs.  We are human beings not robots.  If our needs are not met in a healthy way--we find ways to meet them in unhealthy ways.

As a kid growing up with an athletic, successful, 6' 5" father who was a self made businessman, I remember hearing the words "I don't want to see tears."  I am one of three girls and two boys.  There were plenty of tears and drama in our household.  Let's imagine my dad meant well (?)--the message was not helpful in any way whatsoever.  It was a futile attempt to deny my feelings.  Furthermore, tears don't respond to commands.   On the other hand, I can also remember the funeral of my wonderful grandmother, my dad's mother.  Tears ran down his cheeks and onto the floor as they closed her casket.  I couldn't have asked him to stop those tears.  Grief was talking.

Checking in with our feelings allows us to slow down and become real.  We are not robots.  We are human beings capable of a wide range of feelings, emotions, needs and desires.   By slowing down long enough to notice what is really going on, we have a chance to use our words and ask for what we need.  We get to live a fuller life.  For example, if you are feeling overwhelmed with so much to do at home or at work and you stuff those feelings of stress and frustration, annoyance and anger can build.  Because you are not using your words, no one knows how you feel.   We eat feelings.  We gamble feelings.  We drink feelings.   We try to escape feelings with risky behavior.  How about just using your words?  How about imagining that your words will fall on soft ground and will be respected.   How about imagining that your feelings and your needs will lead to a less stressful and more authentic life where you can find yourself getting what you really want and need.  You deserve it.

Make Time to Sleep

In the fast paced world we live in, in this Technology Age, we are stimulated, over-stimulated, accessible and encouraged to be available and responsive to incoming callers, facebook posts, coworkers' emails, non-stop advertising...in short, information overload.  There is a tv at some gas stations and check out lanes in grocery stores.  This is more than my brain wants to handle.  Because there is so much stimulation and multi-tasking in daily life, it keeps our brain active and in a state of processing.  This can produce stress.

The body and mind need a break.  Taking some time out during the day can do the trick.  A short walk, an exercise class, reading a book, talking with friends can fill the bill.  At night, we need to set ourselves up for quieter time and restful, restorative sleep.  Creating a ritual or routine to quiet the body and mind starts a few hours before bedtime.  Turning down the lights, noise, stimulation and screens (that emit a blue stimulating light) is critical.  We are not robots.  We don't have ON/OFF switches.  We have to dial down the active part of the day and set ourselves up for a calmer evening and eventual slumber.  The bedroom is supposed to be cooler and free of "work" and clutter that is distracting and possibly stress inducing.

This all makes sense, but how often do we stay "UP" online or with netflix?  More often than we'd like.  A poor night of sleep results in fatigue the next day.  Hormones that help with weight loss--that regulate appetite and satiety don't function correctly with poor, interrupted sleep.  We end up eating more junky food and not feeling satisfied with healthy food.  This adds to frustration and more stress.

The morale of the story is that we have to make good "sleep hygiene" a priority.  Making time for quality sleep is part of taking good care of our health and wellness.  We owe it to ourselves to get the rest we need and want.  Both body and mind benefit.  When we are rested and restored, we can face the challenges of the day with confidence and positivity.   That is worth getting up for.

Interested or Committed?

Life is busy these days.  There is only so much time in the course of the day to accomplish what has to happen.  We have "must do" and "like to" and "if I have time, I might do" kinds of priorities.  Even so, even if we prioritize what has to happen and when, there is still something even more powerful that pushes these priorities--how much they really matter, how much we really care. 

For example, if I am committed to my exercise routine, I schedule it on my calendar, in advance, and when it comes up, I do it.  I don't debate or change my mind or even ask myself if I "feel like doing it."  I can honestly say this is a priority, and I keep it alive.  I am committed to it.  For me, exercise is more often than not a source of fulfillment and a big stress reliever, so I am very interested in making it happen.  

Let's take another example, like eating special occasion foods.  We all know that special treats (high fat or high sugar foods) will often entice us.  We can easily get sucked in at work or at a party and end up eating the very foods that we have worked so hard to avoid.  We may be committed to our healthy lifestyle but didn't actually carry out the plan.  Maybe not as committed as we might be next time?

We can't be perfect with anything.  That would be dull and not human.  We can, however, ask ourselves the important questions on a regular basis.  What do I have to do today?  What am I choosing to do today? What has to happen first, second, third?  What would I like to do today--first, second, third?  What would be nice to do today if I have extra time?  

Healthy eating, exercise, managing stress, sleeping well--these are healthy lifestyle priorities on most days. These are things that create a healthy body and mind.  They take time and attention.  The question to ask is: am I interested, or am I committed?  

If you've been passively interested in pursuing a healthy lifestyle but haven't risen to the challenge--now is the time to get started.  Fall is the season of letting go.  We have already let go of summer and its casual lifestyle. We are getting more structured in routines, and we can use that to help us.  

Make yourself a priority.  Make taking good care of yourself a priority.  Make your healthy life a priority. Commit to it.

Visualize Greatness and Measure It

Feeling grounded and centered is a good thing.  It means that we feel balanced.  We are aware.  We are in touch with ourselves and hopefully those around us.  With the distractions of everyday life, we lose that sense of being on "solid ground," and we can sometimes feel that life is getting away from us.  

In order to reclaim a healthy, centered lifestyle, start at the beginning.  Visualize success. Imagine in your mind that you are rising to the occasions in your life.  You are meeting your goals for the day. You are preparing your meals and snacks.  You are prioritizing stress management (relaxation therapy), fitness and sleep.  You are accomplishing your tasks at your job or in your home.  You are doing it and doing it well.  

How do you feel?  How do you feel knowing that you are checking things off  your list?  You are starting projects and chipping away at them, bit by bit until you can be finished?  You are taking care of yourself by noticing when you are tired?  You take a recess break and walk for five or ten minutes instead of taking a trip to a vending machine?  You are in touch with your feelings so that when you are overwhelmed, you slow down and take a breath?   How does that feel?

We need to check in with ourselves regularly and often.  We need to gain valuable feedback about how things are going.  By noticing how we are doing, we can "track" where we are--where we want to be--and how well we are doing getting there.  We track all the time in this precious life.  We track our gas in the car so we don't run out.  We track our blood pressure and other vitals at the doctor's office.  We track our milk in the fridge so there is no morning meltdown.  We track our coworkers' contributions to a project.  We track our relationships with conversations that start like this:  "I need to talk..."  It's helpful information.

What we can do now is two-fold.  First, plan to be successful today.  Maybe success is starting a project at work or at home.  Plan for it to go well.  Expect to gain the support you may need.  Expect to stay on task.  Two, continue to visualize success as the project is underway.  Even if there are unexpected twists, plan to overcome them and achieve your desired outcome.   As far as eating goes, visualize the day's meals so that you can stay on track, eating from all the food groups.  Stick to the plan even if unexpected treats show up.  This should be easier because of the power of visualizing. Then, as the day goes on, check in at meals to see how well you are adhering to your plan.  This is the valuable measure of your success in real time.   Then, give yourself credit for doing exactly what you set out to do.  It all started with a positive image of your doing that very thing.

The mind is your powerful too.  Appreciate what it might do for you as you cultivate a healthier, happier, more balanced lifestyle.  Notice how far you have come from where you started to where you are now--and to where you'd like to be.  Measure your progress.

Do not waste this precious life.  

Super Power

Do you have a SUPER POWER?  A power that is unique to who you are?  A power that you can call on that reminds you and the people around you that there is something special emanating from you to the environment around you?  Of course you do.

With the hectic pace of life and multitasking being the order of the day, we often forget that we have characteristics, special traits, qualities and SUPER POWERS that make us who we are--that we can use to express ourselves, inspire our lives and affect the people and world around us.

Think back to a time and place when you did whatever you wanted to do....without regard for what anyone else might think.  Maybe you have to go way back to a time in your youth when you didn't care at all about what others might say about your actions?  What were you doing?  What made you so happy?  What made you feel so fulfilled?  What reminded you that life is great, and you are a part of its greatness?  Identify that special thing, that SUPER POWER.  Name it.  Own it.  Embody it.

Now spend a moment thinking about those around you.  Think about the environment and the energy that you created because you were expressing your SUPER POWER for the good.  Can you remember what that was like?  Can you remember who influenced by you?  Can you remember those feelings you created in yourself and others?

By slowing down to remember what makes us unique and by using what makes us special, we help ourselves and those around us.  We find our life feeling vital and important and exciting to live.  We wake up with that sense that today, this day, brings something new to be discovered.  This keeps us going.

There are always going to be naysayers and haters with their own agenda.  However, when we embrace our strength and use our SUPER POWERS for the good, we not only change ourselves for the better, we exude an energy of positivity to those around us.

The road to self improvement has many twists and turns.  There are wrong turns, temporary stalls and U-turns.  Your wonderful life is found along this road.  Let your SUPER POWER drive you.

I Can. I Will. I WILL KEEP GOING.

I can.  I will.  I will keep going.  That is the mantra I have chosen for this time of year to help everyone get back on track and centered.  The mind is so important.  It is the decision maker, the reality tester, the voice from within that will not be silenced.  It is with us all the time telling us yes or no--this or that--more or less.  We start believing our thoughts and accept them as truth if we repeat them often enough.  Perception becomes reality.  For this reason, it is so important to be sure that the words we say to ourselves are positive and reflective of our heart's desire--our goals.

There are so many things we CAN do.  Whether we WILL do them or not is another story.  Let's start with "can."  I can make a small change today with my eating habits.  A small change might be having fruits or veggies for snacks instead of chips and crackers.  This is doable.  This is reasonable.  This is specific.  The test comes when snack time shows up. Will I choose fruits and veggies?  I will if I planned ahead.  I will if I have them on hand because I went to the grocery store.  I will if my success is driving my behavior. 

Let's say that I've been packing fruits and veggies for snacks for a while now--several weeks.  I am used to doing it.  I have learned to like these foods as snacks.  I am getting results.  However, one day, my coworker brings in my favorite donuts.  Instead of my apple at 10AM, I indulge in a big donut. No harm done as long as I keep going with regular programming.  There is room for indulgences now and then.  That's a healthy lifestyle.  However, what if I then start trash talking to myself and telling myself that I should have resisted the donut and eaten the apple.  What if I start feeling hopeless and defeated and then go to a pizza buffet lunch?  WHOAH!  That's not going to help me. Instead, I can simply take stock of the fact that for weeks I have been eating fruits and veggies for snacks.  Bravo!   I can applaud myself for that good behavior change.  I can recognize that a donut once in a while is acceptable...no judging.  I can then say, I don't have to have pizza and let my good habits unravel.  I can get back to regular eating patterns right away.  I WILL KEEP GOING.  

Expecting to succeed at weight loss and weight maintenance is critical to success.  Expecting to succeed means that we are planning on it, and we are arranging our lives so that it happens.  Nobody is perfect, and it doesn't matter anyway.  We have a back up plan for those moments--KEEP GOING. By refusing to give up, we keep going.  That's a huge step in the right direction.  That works.

I can.

I will.

I will keep going.

Say it to yourself often, and play it out in your life.  The results will be there.  You will be earning them one thought at a time, one step at a time, one day at a time.  That's a healthy life worth living.

Say Good by to the Summer You and Hello to the Fall You

It's time to turn the page on the calendar and to take a look back at the past three months and notice what happened.  Vacations, time away from routine and schedules, carefree attitudes, farmers' markets, flesh-baring clothing, bare feet in the grass, long, hot days...  Maybe it was the best three months of the year for you?  Maybe as you reflect on your life since Memorial Day, July 4th and Labor Day, you feel ready to usher in a new season?  Either way, we can all benefit from perspective, free of judgment or criticism, about where we were, how far we've come and where we'd like to go.

As sure as the sun rises every day and sets every night, there is an energy that comes with "something new."  When we start something new, there is an inherent hope that it will go well.  We have high expectations and plans for ourselves to do just that.  Unfortunately, not all fresh starts are good ones. There are plenty of false starts followed by readjustments and reality checks that come along too. The trick is to focus on the positivity that comes from making a change for the better.  The trick is to use the benefit of experience to redirect efforts in the right direction.  The trick is to be aware that change--no matter how much we want it--doesn't equal easy.  The trick is to keep going and keep redirecting until we get to that place we'd really like to be.

If the past three months were not your favorite regarding weight loss, weight maintenance or self improvement, the time is now to take stock and focus/refocus and commit/recommit to making a fresh start.  Learning from experience, gaining valuable perspective and channeling that wisdom into action--starting now--is the focus.

I read a book more than twenty years ago by John Kabatt Zinn, titled "Wherever You Go, There You Are."  How true.  No matter what, we come back to ourselves, our heart's desire, our passion for a better, healthier, longer, fitter, slimmer, more balanced, less stressful life.  It is always calling to us, because we want it so much.  It is always important to us because nothing less will satisfy.  Stay grounded in the present moment and take action.  Take a healthy step forward to finding the healthier, fitter, slimmer, more balanced, less stressful YOU.

Take in the Whole Perspective

There are many ways to gauge progress when we are losing weight.  Obviously, the number on the scale is a big indicator.  We can't argue with the hard facts.  However, we are more than a number.    

We can assess improvement in other ways.  For example, healthy habits around food planning, consistent meal times and consuming more "single ingredient" foods represent a huge step in the right direction.  The more we practice these healthy eating habits, the more likely we are to put food in its rightful place.  We then influence the scale downward.

Another way to check progress is by noticing how we feel--physically and mentally.  Good food makes us feel good.  It gives us energy and keeps physical hunger at bay.  We don't get indigestion or heartburn from healthy foods.  Some people notice that they sleep better when they eat better.  That counts.

Let's not forget losing inches.  No amount of weight loss will produce toning.  We have to exercise to achieve this.  If we are losing inches, we know we are making progress.  The scale will eventually catch up.  A pound of muscle is dense, tight and smooth looking.  A pound of fat tissue is bumpy, lumpy and spreads all over.  

How about managing stress by proactively getting ahead of it?  This is a key skill in weight loss too because stress releases cortisol in the system.  Cortisol weakens the immune system and makes us crave junk food and retain belly fat.  By exercising, meditating, practicing hobbies, engaging with trusted friends and family and getting quality sleep, we learn to manage stress without food or drinks. This too is a big win.

Long term commitment is also a way to measure progress.  The longer we practice a healthy lifestyle, the more progress we achieve--the better we feel--the better we look--the happier we are.

We INFLUENCE the scale.  We do not control it.  We control our behavior.  Take a good look at your behavior this week.  What are the signs that you are in charge of where you truly want to go?  Take stock with full perspective.  

Myths about Weight Loss

There are many myths about weight loss that keep us from achieving our goals.  A few of the damaging myths I hear include the following:

1) Weight loss is too hard.

2) Adult metabolism is keeping me from losing.

3) I can't do it because I'm surrounded by temptation all the time.

I am still taking inspiration from the Rio Olympics where the athletes worked SO hard to achieve their dreams of performing at their peak on the world's stage.  A big part of their success comes from the positive mental rehearsing they had to do, in order to work so hard, for so long.  We can use that very same tool to stay focused and positive in our own lives.  We can silence the negative thoughts that get in the way.  This is so important because what we think energizes what we do.  Our thoughts becomes our words.  Our words become our beliefs.  Our beliefs become our actions.  Our actions become our habits, routines and lifestyle.

Let's start at the beginning. WHAT DO YOU WANT?  Think about this long and hard.  What do you REALLY want to come from weight loss efforts?  WHY IS THIS SO IMPORTANT TO YOU?  This is also key.  If you have reasons to change your behavior, then you have motivating personal power to do the work.  HOW CAN YOU REBOUND FROM SETBACKS?  This matters.  No path to success is free of set backs--that's not normal or realistic.  However, you can recover from minor setbacks--and even major setbacks by deciding that you will.  That's it.  You go back to the beginning and ask the loaded question:  WHAT DO YOU WANT?  

Showing up for your life is work.  No doubt about it.  It is effort and energy to achieve personal goals.  However, the reasons behind these goals make the work manageable.   Work is not always fun. If it were, we would not call it work.  Our ancestors weren't afraid of hard work.  They didn't know anything else.  Life was difficult and physical for them.  There were few instantaneous rewards or instantly gratifying moments.  In our modern world, we have become accustomed to "McQuick" efficiency for practically everything.  The rub is that McQuick efficiency is not realistic when it comes to self improvement.  It takes time to gather the courage to make a change and to "show up" for your life.  It takes passion and discipline and effort.

This week, focus on showing up for your life.  Focus on the effort it takes to be successful with your food, fitness and fulfillment.  Imagine your success.  Expect to achieve your success.  Love your precious moments knowing that YOU did it because YOU wanted to.  

Focus on the Positive and Stay Focused

One of the best ways to achieve success is to focus on the positive instead of dwelling on the negative.  It sounds simple, but it is not always easy.  For all kinds of reasons, many of us fixate on the things that aren't going well while we diminish the significance of the things that are going well. In the past, this was an evolutionary technique that kept us alert and alive--expecting to defend against disaster.  Our lives are no longer teetering on the edge of life or death.  We can choose to be optimistic about our future and our success.  By doing so, we can create the motivation and sustain the momentum we need to keep going despite the bumps in the road.

Since it is Summer Olympics time, I have been watching these incredible athletes who have sacrificed so much to compete for a chance at an Olympic medal.  These athletes are super-human in their drive, focus, ability, athleticism and never-fail attitude.  When these athletes are being interviewed, they make it look easy.  That's only because we are seeing them at the pinnacle of their success.  We are not watching the grueling years of training they endured, the set backs like injury, surgery, rehabilitation they suffered, or the sacrifices their families made to make their training possible.

We can take a page from these athletes and remember that life is not always perfect no matter how much you'd like it to be.  We can remember that learning from life's experiences is a valuable tool that provides lessons for the future.  We can choose to focus our thoughts on the success we'd like to achieve instead of the mistakes we made.  We can gather the support of our friends and family and even coworkers to keep moving forward.

Bumps in the road are inevitable.  They are a small part of the journey not the end of the journey. Bumps keep us humble and can even redirect our efforts.  The important thing is to remember that focusing on the positive will keep us from dwelling on the negative.  That positive attitude will provide the energy and momentum to keep pursuing our dreams.  We can choose this.  We can win.

 

Take Care of Yourself by Planning Ahead

One of the best ways to take good care of yourself is to plan ahead.  There are certain eventualities that are nearly guaranteed to occur in the course of any given day.  Eating, sleeping, working, taking care of our family, exercising, etc. we know we need to organize our day so that we are able to "get it all in."

Speaking of eating, we need to stop and consume food--at regular intervals--to give our bodies energy, to satisfy hunger, to charge the metabolism and to become satisfied.  About every three hours or so, our bodies need a boost.  A snack is often a bridge between meals as well as the pause that refreshes.  Between breakfast and lunch, a snack might be fruit or veggies or yogurt.  The afternoon snack between lunch and dinner, however, often needs to be more substantial, satisfying and composed of a protein, whole grain carbohydrate and maybe even a healthy fat.  Half of a turkey sandwich on wheat bread with avocado, tomato and cucumbers could do it.  A peanut butter whole wheat wrap with thin sliced apples would also fit the bill.  This afternoon snack needs to give us energy and solve a hunger problem so that we can power through the afternoon til dinner.  If there are after work activities, this snack becomes even more important.

Sometimes a snack can also be a treat.  When we planned for it and have room in our SmartPoints for it, something special might be just the thing.  The trick here is to plan ahead--it's a way of taking good care of yourself.

Healthy living is a daily effort.  While we can't be perfect, we can get smarter about making sure our meals and snacks deliver.  It's nice to know that we have something nice to look forward to.  A container of cut up strawberries is all I need to get through the morning.  It keeps me on track and away from spur of the moment urges that tempt when healthy options aren't available.

There are many ways to take good care of yourself.  Having snacks available at all times is one of them.  Be prepared.  Find yourself satisfied.  Find yourself happier with more energy.  

Slow Down and Notice

One of the most helpful ways to calm down and destress is to literally slow down and notice what is happening.  By using all of our senses, tapping into our feelings and watching our breath as it moves in and out of our bodies, we can become grounded into the present moment and let go of worry.  The buzz word of the day is "mindfulness" which just means that we slow down long enough to be grounded in the present moment with no regret over the past and no anxiety over the future.  There is no judging with mindfulness.  We just notice things like feelings, body signals, emotions.

I was once dating a guy a long time ago, and we were supposed to go away for a weekend to attend a wedding.  Before leaving for the trip, I was at my gym taking a shower and shaving my legs.  I kept nicking my legs as I thought about not wanting to go to the wedding and the weekend.  I remember thinking about what would happen if I just didn't show up at his house and get in the car and go?  I wasn't in touch with my feelings enough at the time to realize that my body signals (frustration and nicking my legs...) and my thoughts (I don't want to show up...) were telling me something.  At the time, I didn't want to listen.  I went to that weekend.  It was very stressful.  I wasn't happy and didn't enjoy it.  It was very disappointing.  A week or so later, we broke up--no surprise.  

Sometimes giving ourselves permission to listen to what's going on in a judgment-free zone with a wealth of compassion is all it takes.  Mindfulness means we notice--not that we take super-hero action.  We have to practice this because technology and the fast-paced world we live in keep us in a hyper-alert responsive state to the next email and the next problem and the next to-do list.  

I am a dog walker of my girl, Pippa.  She is a 20 pound Terrier mix rescue dog.  I walk her several times a day for 20 minutes or more in spring, summer, winter and fall.  She slows down long enough to notice everything.  I may not realize a squirrel or rabbit, but she does.  I may not notice the sound of a truck backing up, but she does (she's a rescue dog who moved up to Minnesota from Missouri in a truck).  She knows what our neighborhood smells like.  She sniffs everything.  She wants to be outside no matter what the temperature is.  I certainly notice how the day feels on my skin because we stay outside a while.  I have seen my neighbors gardens, home improvement projects and felt their sprinkled grass on my feet.  After a walk with my canine companion, I am more grounded and more patient and more appreciative of here and now.  It is a canine lesson in mindfulness.

This week, give yourself permission to slow down and notice what is going on around you.  Give yourself permission to take the "slow lane" and be present and aware of how you are feeling, how you are doing, what you are thinking.  Give yourself permission to let thoughts and feelings surface knowing that it doesn't mean you have to fix anything or make up for something--you can simply notice first.

Make time to take time.  Your life and health are worth it.

What is Enough?

In the world of supersize portions, cell phones in hand at all times plus the pressure to "have it all NOW,"  we lose sight and appreciation for moderation and balance.  It is by cultivating an appreciation for balance that we become healthier, feel more grateful and live more fully.

This can start with the basic question of how much food is enough?  What does it feel like to be hungry for a meal, engage all of our senses to enjoy the meal and then listen to the hunger signals that tell us we are satisfied as opposed to stuffed?  It is a step away from the fast pace of the digital world to slow down long enough to appreciate healthful eating from several food groups at the same time. This might look like a breakfast of protein, healthy whole grain, fruit or vegetable and some healthy fat.  A breakfast sandwich of a whole wheat english muffin, egg with turkey bacon and some light cheese with a banana on the side would do it.  That is enough food for nutrition, energy, metabolism boosting for the morning.  We can practice getting used to this kind of balance on the plate and slower pace of eating so that we can feel more satisfied with less.  By doing this, we can literally put food in its rightful place--on a table, with a chair for twenty minutes of uninterrupted enjoyment. Then, we can move on to the many other areas of our lives that require our attention and time.  That is what balance looks like.  No single area of our life overwhelms us.

It is time to reconsider the shopping list and make sure we are buying nutritious foods from all the food groups.  It is time to rethink portion sizes, especially high calorie treats like ice cream and alcoholic drinks.  It is time to slow down and consider taking just what we need instead of all that we want.  That's contrary to the "I want it All NOW" attitude that surrounds us.  However, by practicing a smart sense of balance on our plate and in our lives, we become happier, healthier and more appreciative of what we do have instead of what we don't.  Gratitude is always enough.

Focus on the Details: the Big Picture will Come

On the long and winding path to self improvement, we often lose sight of the incremental progress we make because we are overly focused on the end result.  While it is important to have goals and know where we'd like to go--that gives our work meaning, after all, it is not the be all and end all. The cliche "life is a journey not a destination" comes to mind.  Sometimes, no matter how much we'd like to achieve a certain goal and no matter how hard we work to get there, it still eludes us.  That doesn't mean the goal wasn't worthy.  It doesn't mean our efforts weren't admirable.  It doesn't mean that we didn't do our "best."  It just means that a particular goal at a particular time was not ours at that single moment.

I am reminded of the Summer Olympics that are coming up.  The qualifying competition for girls' gymnastics was just completed.  A gymnast from Minnesota was competing and had a chance at making the team for the first time.  So close--and yet so far.  For reasons that had nothing to do with her preparation, skill, points, or execution, she did not make the team.  The reason--she just wasn't "good enough" to help US overall win a gold medal.  While heartbreaking for her, it doesn't diminish her work, her accomplishments, her dedication, discipline, drive, focus and sacrifice for all the years that brought her to this point.

For the rest of us who are not contemplating Olympic medals, we too need to focus on the process--the work, the attention, the discipline, the life skills that help us lead a healthy lifestyle.  This comes in the form of mindful eating which means meals at tables with chairs and without technology.  This comes in the form of managing stress with fulfilling activities that make us happy and feel that life is worthwhile.  This comes in the form of regular physical fitness for the sake of our bodies.  This comes in the form of resisting temptation when it just "shows up" so that we can choose mindfully the right time and place for the right special treat.  This comes in the form of quality sleep and lots of water consumption.  There are so many ways that we can improve our chances of a healthy and long life; we cannot afford to diminish any of them whether we lose weight this week or not.  We influence the scale but never control it.  We are not robots.  Bodies are always changing because of food, medication, air travel, lack of sleep, humidity, salty food...We need to look at the process.  The desired outcome is likely if we focus on the process.

For the week ahead, focus on all the little things and big that you do every day to make your lifestyle a healthy one.  Give yourself credit for every single step in the right direction, even if you have been taking these steps for a while.  Consistency is a treasured thing.  Remind yourself that little by little, day by day, the journey is worthwhile.

Plan to be Successful this Summer

Summer fun is happening wherever you look--vacations, long holiday weekends like what we just had for the Fourth of July, barbeques, parties, celebrations and road trips...the list is endless of how we can all enjoy these precious three months.  However, that is precisely part of the problem.  There is so much going on that it is hard to focus on our goals of healthy eating, behavior modification and increased fitness.

One of the most helpful ways to rethink personal goals in the busy summer months is by planning on being successful.  Simply expect success to happen.  By doing so, every situation that arises will be one where forethought and planning will help set you up for that success.  Reminding yourself of why you are planning ahead, restricting too many cocktails or desserts is equally important. The very powerful reasons why weight loss, weight maintenance, improved behavior control and stress management mean so much make the work of all of the above so much more likely.

It can be done, one moment at a time, if we can slow down long enough to ask ourselves what we really want.  Some social activities are really about connecting with friends and family.  The food might be an after thought or nothing all that special.  That makes skipping some of  the food easier. Substituting lower point foods or drinks can also help at gatherings.  We can still participate like we want, but we are having a lighter and healthier version of party food.  Big win!

No matter what, let's remember that what we think in our heads, we repeat to ourselves.  Then, we start believing that what we say is the truth, the final word.  Perception is reality.  Let's be sure the messages we are repeating are realistic and supportive.  Adopting a healthy lifestyle is work, but the better we get at it, the easier it feels.  If it feels easier, it is easier.  Big win!  If we can be understanding and patient with ourselves as we make these changes, then we can keep going.

There's lots of summer left to enjoy.  Let's agree to make the most of it in every way, one mindful moment at a time.

Clear the Path to a Healthy Life

Physical clutter, visual clutter, emotional clutter--they all take a heavy toll on our lives.  These things literally weigh us down because we become frustrated and overwhelmed at the sight of "stuff" that we may not need, don't know what to do with, can't bear to part with.  We become upset when we have emotionally challenging thoughts occupying too much space in our brain to cope with the tasks of daily life.  In the end, all of these obstacles both real and imagined make life more difficult and can lead us to feel helpless.

We are not our possessions.  Yes, we care about maintaining a comfortable home, but we are not our furniture or our housewares or our kitchen appliances.  We care about having clothing that fits and makes our us feel like we are putting our best foot forward.  Yet, how many clothes do we need?  How many pairs of black pants can the closet hold?  How many things have been bought with the wish that "someday they will fit..." yet someday hasn't come in years?

It's a worthy project to dedicate some time to clear the clutter, starting with something small and manageable like a closet or a desk.  Set the timer for l5 minutes and do what you can.  Do not leave the room.  Designate a pile for stuff to keep, stuff to toss, stuff to donate.  When the timer goes off, you can move on with your day. After enough of these 15 minute increments, the load will be much lighter.  The sight lines will be cleaner, and the weight of storing extra stuff will be lifted.

I moved houses four weeks ago,  I am still clearing out clutter.  As I unpack boxes, I am tossing and donating car loads of things that I don't need and that I forgot I had.  Clearly I had too much.  It is making me feel like I have swept the cobwebs of my mind.

I have what I need.  I have what I want.  It is enough.

This theme is  incredibly important with our eating as well.  Of course it is connected.  When I have what I need and what my body requires, and I make it enough, I am nourished and satisfied.  This is a worthy pursuit.

The next time you sit down to a meal, prepare it well with yourself in mind.  Take a look at your plate and appreciate the colors of your produce, the smells of your food and take the time to enjoy it.  Relax and enjoy all of it, engaging all of your senses.  Be aware that you are eating, nourishing, enjoying.  Then move on with a clear and clean path to your day.

You are You: Watch Your Thoughts

The first book I think I ever read on the subject of positive thinking was called "The Little Engine that Could."  We can all remember how this little engine was trying to get up over a big hill.  The problem was clear.  The engine was small, and the hill looked too big.  But, after a bit of coaxing and encouragement from the passengers (clowns and dolls I think)--the little engine managed to climb up the hill, little by little by repeating the words "I think I can.  I think I can."  Once it got over the hill, the engine then said "I thought I could."  This defines the power of  POSITIVITY, which is simply the power of positive thinking and how it can affect and help create a desired outcome.  First, we think something.  Then, we repeat it to ourselves a few times or more.  Then, we act on it  

This is different from magical thinking.  For example, just wishing I could win the lottery and move to Paris will not make it so.  There are too many unknowns and outside forces to make that happen. Instead this is about exerting personal control in one's life which can create amazing outcomes.
Our thoughts are very powerful.

Let's keep this topic in mind when it comes to our bodies.  A touchy subject if there ever was one. Some of us grew up with negative messages about body image.  "You can't wear that...what were you thinking?"  "You need to cover up...those arms look like bat wings."  "Those pants are too tight." This is not helping cultivate a positive body image.  Instead this is about shaming and saying that the body we got at birth, which is the body we live in today, which is the body we will die in, is somehow not good enough.  Since we are not our bodies--our bodies are an extension of ourselves literally and figuratively, and since we carry it around wherever we go, it is up to us to cultivate a positive outlook. It is up to us to rewrite this negative storyboard and appreciate the body for what it can do, for how far it has come, for the children it may have produced, for the miles it has walked, for the arms that have hugged, for the mind that can be changed.

This is an important step on the path to self improvement.  Discovering how we can positively adopt a healthy body image which then helps us make positive changes to preserve and promote that image is key.  We do not want to spend our days thinking harsh, critical thoughts about a part of us that is so important.  We do not want to listen to negative tapes that we create about what our bodies can and can't do.  If you decide to climb a tree, then you can climb a tree.  If you decide to walk 15,000 steps, then you can walk 15,000 steps.

We are not our bodies.  We are not our minds.  We are not our thoughts.  We are not our feelings.  We are that intangible vessel of greatness that came with us at birth.  It is always there like a crystal that doesn't change color no matter what it comes into contact with.  Unfortunately, as we grow up and have normal life experiences and listen to external messages, we can forget that what's deep down inside, what is good, is always there.  The best of us is always there.  It hasn't changed.  It's been covered up.

Like the Little Engine that Could, we can too.  Watch your thoughts.  Watch what you say.  Watch what you do.  If you want more for yourself, go positive and appreciate the best in you.  Always.

Increase the Fun: Increase the Fulfillment

There are many paths to happiness.  At certain times in our lives, being busy and in demand by friends and family might make us happy.  At other times, being quietly relaxed and home alone might restore calm and create its own solitary splendor.  A certain flower or watching a movie or reading a book might bring happiness.  Eating our favorite dinner on our birthday makes us feel happy and cared for.  No matter how we define happiness, we know that being happy and/or content makes us feel good all over.  We smile more often.  We laugh out loud.  We then attract more happiness and contentment to ourselves--while we send our happiness and contentment out to others.

One of the ways to balance our grand efforts at self improvement and sometimes self denial (limiting ice cream or lounging on the couch with to much tv) is with the non-food related things we enjoy, i.e. our bliss.  Hobbies that don't involve food like gardening, fix-it jobs, biking, dog walking, studying World War II history, or taking bubble baths can lead us to a happy place where we are not even thinking about food to "fill us up."

With summer in full swing, now is the time to think like a kid and enjoy the great outdoors. Walking outside in bare feet, feeling the grass or sand under your toes is a reminder that simple pleasures can sometimes be the best.  They are the ones we get to enjoy most often.  They are often the ones we can always afford.  Because we can't always go on an exotic vacation and leave our worries at home, it is important to cultivate these fulfilling activities, hobbies, interests, social connections in our every day life.  I don't have to worry about reducing stress on vacation.  That's easy.  I do have to balance my time and my energies with my two jobs, my family, my household, my guy, my fitness program, etc.

Having more fun is one of my goals this summer.  Being outside as much as possible is a big part of it.  I am reading the paper outside under a huge maple tree in my front lawn while my dog, Pippa, sits in the grass and plays with her tennis ball.  It's a happy moment for me and Pippa, while it is far removed from Mr. and Mrs. Cabinet who hang around my kitchen.

Taking time for fulfilling activities that make our lives worthwhile is of supreme importance.  We don't ever want to cheat ourselves out of a fabulous life no matter where your mind or body is right now.   We have to make ourselves an important priority and make sure we slow down long enough to enjoy the days as they unfold.  By doing so, this will create a sense of balance and calm while contentment is soon to follow.  Smiles abound, inside and out.

A Meditation on Moving Houses and Yoga Training

It's been a wild two weeks in my life.  I moved one four bedroom house with four people and a dog to another four bedroom house with four people and a dog--all of two miles away.  This involved all of the packing and organizing and cleaning and decluttering as if I were moving across the country.  As I watched the movers and myself lifting and relocating my earthly possessions, I started feeling weighted down by the load.  I am not a hoarder, and I like getting rid of stuff, yet I still have more than I want to deal with.

Immediately after I moved to my new house, I had no time to unpack because I was attending an intensive four-day yoga training for nine hours per day.  Unattachment is a big theme in yoga.  It is a an eastern point of view that says we can free ourselves from anxiety--being too consumed by what might happen.  We can free ourselves from regret over what happened that we have no control over. We can then be open to possibilities that we didn't even know exist.  (simplified definition)

At my training, we also talked about the physical body--the one that so many of us are not happy with.  This is the body that we are judgmental and critical of.  We talked about the "subtle body" that has energy centers and nerve bundles that create tension or ease.  It keeps going...to the point where we discussed that we are NOT OUR PHYSICAL BODIES.  We are not our feelings.  We are not our regrets.  This was freeing for me to hear.

Of course, all of this made me reflect on the weight loss/self improvement journey.   Are we burdened by the "stuff" of life that gets boxed up and relocated as we move from house to house?  Are we lightening the load as we go and learn that it isn't stuff that makes a good life?  Are we surrounding ourselves by what brings us joy and happiness?  That can actually lighten the load--physically and otherwise.  I also am thinking about how cumbersome and heavy it is to carry around things we don't need... like extra weight, judgment, criticism, expectation, comparisons, too much chocolate.

I will not be moving all of these boxes of stuff again.  I will be eliminating even more clutter from my house and my life so that I can be free of  what isn't helping me.  I am going to be consciously asking myself the question when I eat--IS THIS HELPING ME?  IS THIS NOURISHING?  IS THIS WORTH IT?

Slow Down and Pay Attention to the Signs

I was biking in southern Minnesota over the weekend, and I saw small signs along the path that said things like "be choosy, drink more water" and "eat healthfully, at home, with your family" and "live balanced" with icons for food/drinks/activity.  In a bagel shop called "Tandem Bagels" there was a biking theme too.  There was lots of encouragement to ride with free maps and portable, healthy snacks.  It made me realize how refreshing it felt to get positive feedback and support (thanks to the Mayo Clinic for supporting some of these signs) to lead a healthy life.  It was my first time in this part of the state, and I was intentionally taking it all in.

Because I was on my bike for a while, I also had time to think about how much we all could benefit from slowing down and paying more attention.  Slowing down leads to destressing.  Slowing down leads to staying in the moment.  Slowing down leads to smarter choices because we have time to consider our options.  Slowing down promotes living in the moment which keeps us grounded.  This can be especially beneficial when eating meals.   Eating well means that we create a dedicated space, away from work, phones, computers and clutter to enjoy our food.  A table with a chair is most ideal! This is most satisfying when we have given our meal some forethought.  We planned something that looks good, smells good, sounds like it should (crisp veggies crunch), and of course tastes good--which is the most important part.  This positive experience can be even more satisfying when we are not in a rush.  Digestion improves when we eat slowly.  Sensing hunger signals and feelings of satiety improve when we slow down long enough to notice.  This can be accomplished by taking time out and away from work and technology to eat and enjoy.  It sounds so old-fashioned.  However, how many of us do this on a regular basis?  How many of us have meals in transit, in the car, at the desk or in between activities?  When we do this, we rob ourselves of a much needed break and a chance to just enjoy satisfying food and maybe some nice conversation with family or friends.

On this same weekend, I stayed at a Marriot Hotel that had a notecard on the bed talking about the importance of getting a good night's sleep.  It included a list of ways to do this...a warm bath, no technology at least an hour before bed, among other suggestions.  Another healthy message reminding me of things my ancestors knew on their own.  Because they didn't have the pressures of technology ramping up their days and nights, they knew how to slow down and calm down.  We have to relearn these lessons in our digital 21st century world.

There are positive messages pointing us in the right direction, if we just slow down long enough to notice.

Committing to a Healthy Lifestyle--and Recommitting to It

Everyone says they want to live a healthy lifestyle.  The fact of the matter, however, is that living a healthy lifestyle is a work in progress with varying degrees of commitment and success.

First comes the clarity that living a healthy lifestyle includes eating well, drinking lots of water, sleeping well on a regular schedule, managing stress in a pro-active and regular manner, engaging in fitness and aiming for 10,000 steps per day, practicing hobbies and engaging in interests with friends and family.  Whew.... is there time for anything else?  It's a tall order to keep it going.  

It must be said that no matter how strong the desire, the best of intentions don't always lead to success.  Life and its many distractions can be challenging and cause us to lose focus.  Frustration can cause us to lose our drive.  Negative self talk can make us feel like failures.

Second comes recommitment.  We wake up and realize things are unraveling.  Somehow, this healthy lifestyle that we'd like seems to be slipping away....which is when we have to remind ourselves that living healthfully can look a little different every day.   All-in is not possible all the time.   Perfection is not realistic or attainable.  Instead, we need to work on accepting the fact that sometimes--whatever we have to offer--as little as it may be--will have to be "good enough."  In our competitive world "good enough" might feel like a let down.  NOT SO.  "Good enough" on difficult days just might be a great achievement.

Taking the long view and knowing that we can always recommit and refocus as soon as we realize that things are slipping is key.   We are all a work in progress.  There is no end point when it comes to being a healthy, happy person.  So my advice is to focus on the positive and celebrate the successes as they come along.  Make an honest effort to be patient when things are not going well.  And then, keep going.

Mindfulness is a Lifestyle: Dieting is a Misery

There has been much said lately about how "diets don't work."  This is true.  It has always been true. Most people do not have the ability to stop eating foods they love and start eating healthy foods all the time, no matter what, from now until forever.  Who would want to anyway?  It's an impossible task and an unrealistic expectation.  Furthermore, when people suffer through restrictive diets, they lose weight in an unhealthy way.  The metabolism then goes down.  As a result, the weight that was lost is "found" again, plus more, since the metabolism has been lowered, as in permanently.

We don't recommend diets.  We recommend learning new life skills and strategies, over time, that include nutritious meals and snacks that are portion controlled, increased fitness and activity plus fulfilling hobbies, interests and social interaction to create a lifestyle of health, wellness and happiness.

One of the best ways to create this healthier lifestyle comes through the practice of mindfulness.  That simply means that we slow down long enough to pay attention to what we are doing, how we are feeling, where our thoughts are going.  By doing so, we can tap into our true hunger signals and eat to satisfy them.  We can stop and take a break when life becomes overwhelming.  We can focus our awareness on the moment without getting ahead of ourselves.  This reduces stress, decreases the stress hormones like cortisol that makes us crave junky food and retain belly fat.  This makes life feel more manageable.

Slow and steady is truly the path to life-long healthy weight loss and weight maintenance.  Managing stress in pro-active ways (like exercise, meditation, hobbies) is part of the weight loss and weight maintenance puzzle.  Promoting healthy metabolism by eating at regular intervals and drinking water often is part of the puzzle.  Sleeping well and waking up feeling refreshed also contributes to healthy metabolism.

It is all very old fashioned.  Let our expectations of ourselves be just as simple.  Expect change to occur over time.  Expect shifts to happen regularly but often very quietly.  Slow down to notice these things.  Appreciate the process, the journey and the wisdom of learning new things over time.  This is the path to a life well lived.  It always was.

Positive Self Talk

Last week I asked a group about the negative tape that so often plays in our heads.  Every person in the group shared something rather dramatic and very negative about the tape running through their heads.  As each person did this, the rest of the room listened intently and stared in disbelief.  We were looking around at a room full of accomplished people and were surprised to hear what people were thinking.  In most cases, in fact, we were thinking the exact opposite.

It got me thinking about how what we project to the outside world--confidence, positive self esteem, accomplishment and competence may NOT at all be the case on how we are feeling inside.  This matters because we do NOT want to be playing negative tapes that waste valuable energy that could be spent on positivity.

Life can be hard.  There is always something extra to do or think about or organize or accomplish. Multitasking is the name of the game.  Responding right away is also part of what others expect these days.  That can feel like a lot of pressure and stress.  Let's combat that negativity with positive thoughts which will lead to positive feelings and actions.

A racing mind is a sign of stress.  One of the best ways to combat this is to take frequent breaks from technology and work and let some positive images and affirmations in.  This could include a short walk from your desk or a moment to take some deep breaths for a minute or two.  This dials down the pressure and lets the mind recover.

Life is too short to give in to negativity.  It robs us of living in the moment--another way of thinking of mindfulness....which means one thing attention with no judging or comparisons.

I can be guilty of this too.  On occasion, I can get down on myself and feel "less than."  It is a path to real misery that serves no one.  So I work hard on bringing myself back into the moment and focus on the positive.  If I want something different for myself, then I can make a manageable plan.

A work in progress takes time, but it does not take more effort than one has to give.  That's impossible anyway.  It takes acceptance, attention, no judging and courage.  Courage to be yourself as you are today.  No more and no less.

What's Hard? What's Easy? WHY do you Care?

Throughout the day, along the way, we find that some things in life seem hard while some things in life seem easy.  The things we like to do feel a lot easier than the things we don't.  Obviously.  But, let's face it, we have a lot on the "to do" list that is required--things that we might not like and might be hard.

One way to get through the hard stuff is to dig deep first and ask yourself the all-important questions:

WHY?
WHY should I do this?
WHY is this important to me?
IS this still important to me?
WHY do I care?
WHAT do I want?

The answers to these questions makes the work of self improvement make sense.  Losing sight of the WHY, or finding yourself in a position to redefine the WHY is important as time marches on.  Things change.  So do we.  So do our goals.  So do our priorities.  So do our life circumstances.

Sometimes the things that we find hard one week can become easy another week, and visa versa.  It is easy to eat a quick, filling, protein-packed breakfast during the week.  You have to move on with your day.  It becomes a little harder to do that on vacation in a pancake house with butter and bacon everywhere.  It is easy to go out for a long walk with the dog when the weather is pleasant, and it becomes harder when the weather is not.  It is easy to dress for the day when all the clothes in the closet fit.  It is harder to dress for the day when we are frustrated because only a few of the clothes fit.

Let's remember that not living the life of our dreams costs us something.  It may cost us disappointment, sadness, stress, frustration and limited opportunities.  That life feels hard.  The cost of a life well-lived will include sacrifices and effort, no doubt.  It will also come with the priceless gift of freedom.  Freedom that is earned, little by little by redefining what's hard and what's easy and revisiting the many reasons WHY that matters.

Being Mindful With Hidden SmartPoints

There are lots of hidden SmartPoints lurking in juice containers, coffee mugs, cocktail glasses and "pint" beer glasses.  One of the problems is that these SmartPoints go down so easily and are so forgettable.  Our challenge is to right size our beverages the same way we right size our food choices. Of course, that really means down size.

While plates and bowls have gotten so much bigger over the years, drinking glasses have gone the same route.  A can of coke at 12 ounces used to be the norm.  Now, that a 12 ounce can of coke is 9 SmartPoints, we have to reconsider the options and look at coke as a treat--not a beverage that slides down along with a meal.

The same is true with juice and sports drinks.  Juice is a pointy beverage that we need to choose--not just let happen.  As for sports drinks, they are not necessary.  Water will rehydrate just the way it is supposed to.

The coffee shop can be a minefield if we aren't savvy.   Small drinks are called "tall."  If there is anything like cream, whip, half and half and flavor shots, SmartPoints are running down the drain.

When it comes to alcoholic drinks, we need to be informed and make choices before the drinking happens.  Once we are drinking alcohol, our inhibitions may start to evaporate.  We might not make as many healthy choices that we would otherwise.  A big part of our success is to stay focused on what we really want, no matter where we are or what we are doing.  Furthermore, drinks are larger than they used to be.  Technically speaking, there might be two mixed cocktails in that martini glass. A "pint" in a brew pup is actually 20 ounces not 16.  That means more points.  Darker, thicker beers are even more points than lighter (as in color) beers.

So how can we down size our beverages without skipping them altogether?  Practice.  Practice. Practice.  The more we acquaint ourselves with right size portions and the more aware we are of our coffee shop/restaurant/bar behavior, the more likely we can approach these settings with the confidence that we can get what we want--and no more.  Enjoy it.  Be done.  Count SmartPoints wisely.

With summer weather here, be especially savvy.  Oftentimes, we are even more inclined to relax into the casual nature of the season.  Stick to your goals!  Drink lots more water and decide in advance when and where and how much any alcoholic beverages will be consumed.  Then, stick to the plan and enjoy.

It Takes a Village

In the game of life, we know that we are not alone, nor do we want to be alone--especially when tough times come calling.  Even our introverted friends need valuable connections with others to keep them feeling vibrant and part of a bigger picture.  When we start something new, pursue a new venture at work or home, take on a new responsibility or role, we usually ask others who have done this before for their help.  Help can come in the form of advice, personal experience, testimony and sometimes a sounding board.

As we evolve and set the bar higher than it was before regarding weight loss, healthy habits, fitness and fulfillment, we are walking down a path that many have gone down before and many continue to go down.  We will have lots of company to keep us supported and inspired.  There is so much information, advice and how-to's in the world nowadays, that we don't need to look far for a bright idea to try with a new recipe, exercise technique or social group to keep us interested and curious.

But what about the people closest to us?  What about the ones who "should" be supporting us from the very start and all the way through?  Why do those people sometimes seem like saboteurs instead of cheer leaders?  Who knows is the answer to that question.  Unfortunately, even our nearest and dearest do not always "show up" for us the way we'd like them to.  Maybe they don't believe our self improvement efforts are real (this time).  Maybe they are secretly jealous of us.  Maybe they wish they could do things like say NO to chips and salsa on a Mexican vacation or say YES to the gym at 6AM.  Maybe they fear that if we change, then we might be expecting them to change.  Whatever the reason, we know that when we don't get positive feedback from the ones we love, we need to move on to other people for that kind of support.

It does take a village to keep going.  It takes people from all circles who are working on bettering their lives, one day at a time, to keep up the energy and enthusiasm for the work that's involved. Sometimes by seeing a complete stranger with a lot of weight to lose, working out at the gym, inspires me.  I realize that we are all in this together.  No matter where we are in the journey, we all have the same job to do.

Get up every day.
Show up for your life.
Be present and mindful of your behavior.
Make a small change at first and then let that grow into a bigger difference.

The Things that Weigh Us Down

I am just back from a spring break trip to Mexico, and I packed my workout program, my clothes for it, my beachwear and summery clothes.  I had my sunscreen for protection along with a big hat.  I had comfy sandals for long walks after dinner on the "malecon" (boardwalk in Puerto Vallarta).  What I didn't take with me was worry.

This got me thinking about how heavy it is to carry worry--and what that does to my perception of happiness, self satisfaction and wellbeing.  Of course it is easy to be happy on vacation in a sunny spot with the guy you love...when all your creature comforts are met in grand fashion.   The whole point of vacation is to get away from it all, take a break from the routine and busyness of daily life to relax, recharge, renew.  Unfortunately, however, vacation is only one or two times a year.  The rest of my time is spent living my "real life."

This too got me thinking about how important it is for me to "lighten the load" and only carry what I can handle.  I started mulling over the things that weigh me down in daily life.  Worry, anxiety, sleeplessness, expectation, fear, feeling less than...  For a yoga instructor and a health coach, I talk about these things all the time.  They are truly front and center in my mind.  But, I am still finding myself burdened by some of these "weights."

I decided that while there are problems and issues to cope with regarding my family, the world, etc. I am going to make a concerted effort to not worry over them.  It doesn't mean I won't be caring about them, but it does mean that I am consciously unpacking these things so they don't cast a dark shadow over my day, my sense of happiness and wellbeing.  I hope that this will be a gift from this vacation, i.e. the freedom to not be weighed down by excess baggage.

What might be weighing you down more than you think?  Of course, pounds on the scale are the obvious thing.  But, those pounds didn't get there by themselves.  The things we carry, the places we go, the people we deal with are part of those pounds.  I am encouraging us to look a little more deeply at what might be behind heaviness on the scale.  What might be getting in the way of living a lighter, more carefree life?  What might it take to "unpack" some of those things and lighten your load?  One day at a time.

No Judging--Slip Ups are Part of Progress

One of the hardest life lessons is to learn from your "mistakes" and then move on.  So much gets in the way, starting with that little voice in your head that says "you can't do this..."  Negative self talk, criticism, judging and fear are but a few of the stumbling blocks that keep us from propelling ourselves forward.  

We often let unhelpful "tapes" keep playing in our heads when a momentary setback occurs.  Those unhelpful tapes make it harder not easier to move on.  Some say that evolution is to blame. Expecting something bad to happen was part of survival.  It meant that you had to be in a heightened state of awareness so that you could protect yourself from attackers.  We need to resist that urge to go negative by reinforcing the positive.  By doing so, we are gently embracing the good that we anticipate.  We gather the courage to keep going even though we were temporarily off track.

To complicate matters, oftentimes, our expectations are unrealistic when lifestyle change is at hand. We think that because we decided to "get healthy" that we will be as enthusiastic and driven as we were the day we began the life changing journey.  Not so.  The path to success is full of pock marks, stop signs and rerouting. That's normal, and it is to be expected.  By expecting momentary setbacks, we can get better at recognizing them for what they are, i.e. temporary and not the end of the road.

Another unhelpful tape that often plays when we are frustrated is one of judgment.  "I'm not good at this... I can't do this...  I should just give up...  This is going to kill me..."  None of this is helping. It is also setting your sights too low.  Things might not be going well for the moment, but that has nothing to do with how things might go once you regroup and move on.  Maybe the plan you had in place was too restrictive.  Maybe the exercise schedule you put in place was too demanding.  Maybe life got in the way of your good intentions.  Whatever the reason, the behavior change is the same.  Move forward.  No judging.    

We can often treat others better than we treat ourselves.  If a friend who was having a hard time losing weight or engaging in an exercise routine, and was falling apart, we wouldn't berate them and tell them that they will always be a failure.  Hopefully, we would listen to them, encourage them and do our best to talk them out of quitting on themselves.  If we can do it for others, we need to do it for ourselves as well.

Your life is made up of what you CAN do, not what you cannot do.  Your life is made up of the experiences you choose to have not the ones you try to avoid.  Yes, the dark side is always there, but that's not the focus and not the greater part of who you are today or who you wish to become tomorrow and the next day after.  

Time Your Eating Success at Regular Intervals

Progress is not a linear pursuit.  We take one step forward and sometimes two steps back.  No matter what however, we keep going.  One of the best ways to make sure we can keep going is to manage expectations, set small realistic goals, celebrate milestones and then take a moment to take stock before moving along to the next thing.  This works with managing the day's meals, the week at work, a vacation, or a major project at home.  We are human.  We can only handle so much at a time.  By being realistic and giving ourselves mini breaks, we can actually go further than if we tried to do too much too soon.

This philosophy works with eating as well.  By planning healthy meals and snacks that we can look forward to, we can plan our nutrition and enjoyment to match the rigors or pleasures of the day.  For example, if you are going to be outside digging up the yard, clearing out winter debris for hours on end, a good breakfast of protein and carbs will go far in keeping you fueled for the heavy lifting.  A break with lots of hydration and maybe a piece of fruit and string cheese can keep you going until lunch time.

Meals and nutritious snacks are fuel to keep the body going, to keep the metabolism roaring and to keep us from getting too hungry.  Treats are different.  These are the foods and maybe beverages that we enjoy just because we do.  We don't need a reason.  It's not about physical hunger or thirst, but we want to have these pleasures because they too are part of our success, i.e. practicing how to manage the extras without going overboard.

Eating at regular intervals gives us pause to regroup.  It gives us stamina to keep going.  It gives us something to look forward to.  It satisfies our primal urge to chew.  We are never more than three hours away from something to eat.  What a relief!