How Much is Enough?

In the world of excess and over the top indulgence and on-demand living, how are you supposed to know when something is enough?  Enough free time?  Enough solitude?  Enough excitement?  Enough comfort?  Enough treats?  Enough veggies?  

There is an answer to this--when you feel satisfied.  That is when you know you have had enough.  In life there is a tension between polarities, i.e. a literal pull from one extreme to the other.  Finding the balance between the extremes is the "sweet spot."  This balance enables you to live fully while also living in harmony with your values.  This doesn't imply boring.  

When it comes to chocolate, for me, a lot is usually enough.  I have been a chocolate lover since I was a little girl.  Remember, I am the one who used to order chocolate fudge nut brownie ice cream from Baskin and Robbins.  My flavor cost more, because it was loaded with more!  However, I have trained myself in my adult years to get satisfied with a whole lot less because too much chocolate means too many calories, too many points and too much regret.  My emotions and mood are OUT of balance at that point.  That doesn't feel satisfying.  It feels punishing.   

In today's world of supersize this and all you can eat that--it pays to get acquainted with a smaller plate, a smaller wine glass, a smaller popcorn bowl.  By doing that you train the eye to see a smaller (or right sized for you) portion filling up that vessel.  This tricks the eye and trains the belly to recognize that sometimes eating less actually gives you more.  More freedom.  More room for something else later.  More control.  More peace of mind.  More balance.  And more?....  well, that's for you to ponder.

Get What You Really Want

There is so much distraction going on in our world today.  Social media (excuse me, even this blog) and political or pandemic news in addition to everyone's opinion about every subject take a toll.  If you find that you are losing more than you are gaining (in the good way) from this overload, it's time to step back and reconsider what you wish to be consuming (literally and figuratively).

To this end, consider what it is about your life that brings you more happiness or contentment--what keeps you curious and interested.  Maybe things like connecting with family and friends or practicing hobbies, playing with pets, etc. are some of what rises to the top of your mind.  Now drill down on this concept a little more.  Think about what you actually control in your day that brings you joy and keeps you going.  Is it a wonderful cup of coffee or tea in the morning as you consider what you are grateful for?  Is it walking in the woods?  Is it reading your favorite author?  Is it a great dinner with loved ones?   

To put it another way, what are the things that you are in charge of (no matter what the weather, the pandemic) that make your day feel worthwhile?  Those are the things that deserve more intention and attention, because those are precisely the things that will help you thrive this season. 

Now, embrace your power.  Your thoughts are your power.  Choose to focus on the positive ones.  

Your actions are your power.  By focusing on positive thoughts, you then engage in positive actions.  

Your wishes that come from your heart are your power.  If your phone went dead, and your computer quit working--you still have the power, because the power comes from your heart.  That itself is something to be grateful for today.  

Wantpower versus Willpower

When it comes to making a change, relying on willpower is not your best bet.  Willpower expires quickly and behaves unreliably.  In contrast, wantpower can work harder and longer to set you up for success.  For example, willpower might get you past ordering dessert in a restaurant if you quickly get up and pay the check and leave.  However, if you sit at the table long enough while your friends order dessert, it will get harder and harder to resist as you watch them eating their sweets.  

To strengthen your wantpower muscles, first think of what the best version of yourself really cares about.  Do you really want to exercise before the day begins?  That sounds like it might be challenging if getting up early isn't your routine, but what if there was a reward for that behavior?  Let's say you get to buy coffee at Starbucks on the way home IF you get up early and work out.  All of a sudden that makes waking up early and exercising seem much more appealing.  It becomes a win/win.

Another way to work your "wantpower" muscles is to make one decision at the beginning of the day, and then carry that decision with you throughout day.  If you decide that you aren't having any treats today, then NO MATTER WHAT, if treats fall into your path, because you decided in advance you are not having them, you don't.  That one decision might save you from countless choices throughout the day--which makes your life feel easier and getting what you really want (more weight loss or self control) more likely.    

Protecting yourself from harm is another way to stay on track.  That means that you set up your environment to be successful.  You get the nutritious food in the house.  You leave the tempting food that challenges your control at the store.  You put your sneakers by the door.  You keep a water bottle with you and drink from it often.  Whatever it is--you stay focused by creating a safe space around you that practically delivers more success. That's the wantpower muscle at work again.  

Investing in your good health whether it is with food, exercise, mindset shifting, sleep or just de-stressing through happiness hobbies is always going to be important.  We do a little bit of the work every day in various ways.  It is not a punishment.  It is a pathway to more freedom in body and mind.  I definitely want more of that.  

Creating Happiness in Pandemic Times

No matter how we have been handling the disruption of our lives given the pandemic, one thing is very clear--if we don't focus on what we really want, then negative thoughts, changing demands, shifting expectations, news, election news, covid news will take over. This is not ok. We cannot have the stressors that come from OUTSIDE ourselves dictate how we will handle things INSIDE ourselves and INSIDE our own personal "silos" -- our homes.  

To add to the pressures that come from all of this extra coping and trying to get through, most of us are spending more time than ever before living inside our own heads.  We are rehearsing, reviewing, rehashing those 70,000 thoughts from yesterday that are looped into today.  The mind is working its wonders constantly, making leaps every eight seconds to the next thought which is on repeat.  This is very tiring.

For safety's sake, we are also spending less time interacting with new people, new places and therefore we are not having novel experiences that make life feel more interesting. This is demoralizing and a little depressing.  It is also not keeping us mentally sharp.  When we have new experiences like going on a trip or interacting with a foreign culture or meeting someone new at a party, we have to rethink how we see the world and ourselves in the world.  That's a good thing.  It's not all about YOU all the time anyway.

For these reasons, I challenge you to make your happiness part of your COV ID COPING STRATEGY.  Find something that makes you happy for ten minutes every day.  If it lasts a lot longer, so be it.  If you say that you love sitting on your porch reading, by all means, read as long as you can.  If you like dancing to music, then get up and shake it.  If you like meditating outside at sunrise, then set the alarm.  

By making your personal happiness a HIGH PRIORITY every single day for at least ten minutes, you are getting a ten minute break from the dystopian covid coaster.  You are improving your healthiness, and you are taking charge of your body, mind and spirit.  Try it, and then let me know what worked the best for you.  You are worth the effort.