It's that ultra busy time of the year. The weather turns cold and unpredictable. There is pressure to plan, decorate, shop, organize, cook and bake to impress. All this while living regular life too, like going to the grocery store, doing laundry and showing up at work and being productive. It's a lot of distraction, and it can feel like a lot of pressure.
Now is the time to consider how you'd like to show up for yourself in the next month. Thinking about what makes the holidays fun for you is a good start. Is it the decorating? Is it the lights? Is it the family traditions? If so, don't let go of what makes this festive for you. Next, think about the activities, outings, pot lucks, parties, entertaining that might happen. What is fun in all of that for you? If there is something that's on the calendar, but it really doesn't bring you joy and feels more like an obligation, then maybe you pass this time. Finally, think about what you can do for yourself to keep sane during this hectic time. What are the things that relax you and dial down the tension in your life? Maybe more physical activity might help manage stress. Maybe taking more frequent breaks at work to walk and drink more water would fit into your schedule. Maybe finding a buddy to go to a fitness class just to stay accountable might feel like a social release and a stress relief. Maybe going to bed earlier to get more rest might do the trick. When it seems like life is moving too fast, simply slow down for yourself. Take note of the things you are doing that are helping and those that are not helping. If you feel more stressed at the thought of another night out or more shopping after a long day, then take a break and take your life back. Dial back the expectations so that you can enjoy yourself this time of year too.
This is the time when ultra rich, heavy foods laden with sugar, saturated fat and calories seem to show up everywhere. Stress will make it too easy to indulge too often. Consider the treats that matter to you the most--and save yourself for those. Slow down long enough to enjoy them in a mindful way. They will mean more. Ignore anything that is ho-hum, not that good or nor really your favorite.
The month of December could be the month of self care, if you set yourself up for it. This could be the time where you are actually enjoying the season because you are managing your expectations and eliminating excess. For me, sending cards with photos of my girls is part of the holiday season. I like doing it, and although it takes a lot of time, it is worth it to me. It is a tradition I choose to keep. As for all the cookie baking, that tradition had to change. I can't bake like I used to, because I will look like Santa in no time. I like eating those homemade cookies too much. If someone asks me to bake for them, I will do it, and I will deliver those cookies promptly, but you won't find a cookie tray at my house. This is a tradition that I am comfortable giving up. It doesn't work for me anymore. It took me a long time to figure it out.
Whatever you do with the month of December, remember that the greatest gift you have comes from your heart. It doesn't need a ribbon or gift wrap. It comes out in your words, gestures, kindnesses. That is truly a gift that keeps on giving.
Tuesday, November 27, 2018
Thursday, November 8, 2018
Kindness is Healthy
It is now scientifically proven that kindness pays off when it comes to your health. Furthermore, it is not just a good thing for the receiver of the kindness. Au contraire, it is even more of a boost for the giver. No wonder Oprah liked to give away cars. When we give a compliment, open a door, let a fellow driver into the roadway, we extend a good part of ourselves that creates the potential for even more acts of kindness. Even though you may never know how someone chose to "pay it forward" it still matters.
This is the basic "stuff" that makes us feel happier. Happier people are funner to be around. Happier people take life's bumps and bruises in stride and don't allow stress to take over. Happier people want more good things for themselves, so they keep working on themselves. Therefore, it pays to train the brain to keep looking for good things, good news, opportunities for being kind. This doesn't mean awful things don't happen. This is not pretending that "life is good" even if you are in crisis. No, this is the growth mindset that we can cultivate, exercise and grow so that our outlook is more often positive than negative.
As I write this blog, my 17 year old daughter has been home sick from school all week with a perforated ear drum. She went back to school today only to be sent home because she now has pink eye in both eyes. Back to the pediatrician. I am on my way out of town for the WW cruise tomorrow morning, and this development added a wrinkle to the day. But, I am not focusing on this. I am not getting pink eye. I am leaving Natalie in my mother's capable hands and hoping and praying for the best. It's all I can do.
Look for ways to be kind to other people--your family, your neighbors, your coworkers and strangers. A smile, a nice word, a gesture that takes but a few seconds is all it takes to make your day and theirs. That is the good energy you can control. And if nothing else, it is good for your health and happiness.
This is the basic "stuff" that makes us feel happier. Happier people are funner to be around. Happier people take life's bumps and bruises in stride and don't allow stress to take over. Happier people want more good things for themselves, so they keep working on themselves. Therefore, it pays to train the brain to keep looking for good things, good news, opportunities for being kind. This doesn't mean awful things don't happen. This is not pretending that "life is good" even if you are in crisis. No, this is the growth mindset that we can cultivate, exercise and grow so that our outlook is more often positive than negative.
As I write this blog, my 17 year old daughter has been home sick from school all week with a perforated ear drum. She went back to school today only to be sent home because she now has pink eye in both eyes. Back to the pediatrician. I am on my way out of town for the WW cruise tomorrow morning, and this development added a wrinkle to the day. But, I am not focusing on this. I am not getting pink eye. I am leaving Natalie in my mother's capable hands and hoping and praying for the best. It's all I can do.
Look for ways to be kind to other people--your family, your neighbors, your coworkers and strangers. A smile, a nice word, a gesture that takes but a few seconds is all it takes to make your day and theirs. That is the good energy you can control. And if nothing else, it is good for your health and happiness.
Thursday, November 1, 2018
What Do You Want More vs. What Do You Want Now?
I heard a WW member ask an incredibly profound question that stuck in my mind for over a week. She said she often asks herself, "what do I want more; and what do I want now?" Simply stopping to ask that question inserts a pause in what could otherwise be a momentary lapse in judgment. Slowing down long enough to even think of this question also means that she is using her brain to consider her options as opposed to appealing to instantaneous gratification.
Weight loss, weight maintenance, self improvement, good habits are anything but instant. They take time, effort, energy and consistency. They are the exact opposite of immediate. Yet, somehow we mix these things up. We want to achieve those goals, but we forget the effort in the moment that sets the stage.
Our "McQuick" culture is working against us. However, we are not animals who eat food when it comes in front of them. They don't have the ability to reason. Eating is survival for them, and they pounce. On the other hand, we are human beings with the ability to think, reason, contemplate, debate and consider. We can observe an eating opportunity knowing it is not our last. We can choose to partake or not, or split or save something for later. We are more than our animal instincts.
With the Halloween candy around and signs of Thanksgiving coming in three weeks to say nothing of December and all its sugary excess, we are going to have lots of opportunity to make decisions. We will encounter more temptation than we'd like. We will be faced with the cut to the quick question--what do I want more vs. what do I want now? If we can use our desire for success to drive our behavior more often, we can gain control by practicing restraint. It is a practice. We don't have to always choose fruit instead of cookies, but we can't eat every morsel of rich dessert that shows up either.
Now is an opportune time to consider all the reasons you decided to change your life. Those reasons come from the heart, and they are true to you. You want what you want. That's fair. In order to get what you want, you have to commit to it. Through your thoughts, your actions, by practicing restraint, control, patience, forgiveness. That's fair too. You have to appeal to your superpower, i.e. your smart brain and follow through. You have earn it even though the rewards may not appear immediately. In doing so, what you want more is exactly what you will be getting. A dream come true.
Weight loss, weight maintenance, self improvement, good habits are anything but instant. They take time, effort, energy and consistency. They are the exact opposite of immediate. Yet, somehow we mix these things up. We want to achieve those goals, but we forget the effort in the moment that sets the stage.
Our "McQuick" culture is working against us. However, we are not animals who eat food when it comes in front of them. They don't have the ability to reason. Eating is survival for them, and they pounce. On the other hand, we are human beings with the ability to think, reason, contemplate, debate and consider. We can observe an eating opportunity knowing it is not our last. We can choose to partake or not, or split or save something for later. We are more than our animal instincts.
With the Halloween candy around and signs of Thanksgiving coming in three weeks to say nothing of December and all its sugary excess, we are going to have lots of opportunity to make decisions. We will encounter more temptation than we'd like. We will be faced with the cut to the quick question--what do I want more vs. what do I want now? If we can use our desire for success to drive our behavior more often, we can gain control by practicing restraint. It is a practice. We don't have to always choose fruit instead of cookies, but we can't eat every morsel of rich dessert that shows up either.
Now is an opportune time to consider all the reasons you decided to change your life. Those reasons come from the heart, and they are true to you. You want what you want. That's fair. In order to get what you want, you have to commit to it. Through your thoughts, your actions, by practicing restraint, control, patience, forgiveness. That's fair too. You have to appeal to your superpower, i.e. your smart brain and follow through. You have earn it even though the rewards may not appear immediately. In doing so, what you want more is exactly what you will be getting. A dream come true.
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