Separating Emotions from Eating

In our fast-paced world, one of the hardest challenges is to stop, take a deep breath, then proceed with caution.  It is far more likely that we simply default with knee-jerk responses to stimuli.  Sometimes this can result in an impulse purchase at the mall.  Sometimes this can result in a critical comment that sounds like judging.  Sometimes this can result in road rage.  Oftentimes this results in mindless eating.

When it comes to heightened emotions and eating, we have to be on guard.  Unfortunately, we are trained from childhood to cope with uncomfortable feelings by eating.  Typically the foods we eat when we are stressed are high fat, high sugar treats.   Oh, you got a bee sting--here's a cookie.  Yeah, it's a birthday party, let's all eat cake and then take more home for later.  Oh no, it's a funeral, carb load.  

When emotions are running high--whether they are positive or negative or ambiguous (I don't know what I'm feeling, but it is not good.) we benefit from taking a step back and looking at what's really going on--putting something useful, destressing and even calming between us and the situation.  By doing this, we can respond to stressful situations or high emotions in a more rational manner.  By practicing this, we can condition ourselves to look at what's really going on.  That doesn't mean we will like the emotion any better, but it does mean that we will be less likely to find ourselves with a lot of empty calories that we weren't even looking for.

One of the reasons why this is so challenging is that we live in a multi-tasking fast-paced world where responding quickly is rewarded.   Our technology is quick.  We live in an on-demand world.   We want what we want.  Oftentimes, we can have it.  Unfortunately, this has translated to overeating snacks, mindless trick or treating in the workplace, sampling everywhere.  

The response to stress (good, bad or ambiguous) is to slow down with the breath.  Inhale deeply through the nose, exhale deeply through the nose.  This engages the relaxation response in the body--now the emotion doesn't feel so pressing, and hopefully we can make more rational choices as a result.

This is a practice.  There is no perfect.  This doesn't mean we won't want chocolate bars or salty chips.

It does mean that we are REtraining ourselves to respond differently to our emotions and to put food where it really belongs.  That's an effort worth making.  

Observe Nature and Destress

Today marks the official start of summer, also know as summer solstice, the longest day of sunlight. This season reminds us to pay attention to something that we are grateful for, i.e. longer days, easier living, more time outside.

We feel better physically and mentally when we spend time outside.
We eat better when we feel better.  
We want more of those good feelings.

There is nothing like stress at work or with our families to take us away from the good feelings that we get when we are more relaxed and feel more connected to what is real.

The earth is real.
The grass under bare feet is real.
The sun is real.  It can be relied upon to go down at night and come up in the morning.
The birds are real.
The extra oxygen in a forest of trees is real.
The waves at the ocean are real.
The wind through the trees is real.
The serenity that comes from being lakeside is real.
A campfire is real (not to mention primal).
You are real.

Breakdowns in healthy eating, sleeping and exercising come from stress.  One of the biggest sources of stress is feeling like we need to be "connected" at all times to things, people, events, reactions, situations that may not have any importance to us--but rob us of our calm.  Technology is "artificial intelligence."  We need it.  We benefit from it, but it doesn't make us feel calm, grounded or centered.  It distracts us and contributes to the racing mind that continues to respond, activate adrenaline and increase cortisol.  It is the polar opposite of mindfulness.

The message is to take time, make time, enjoy time in nature without the phone.  Listen to the sounds, observe the view, breathe in the air of the trees, notice the heat from the sun and the coolness of a fresh breeze on your skin.  This will dial down the stress and improve the mood.

When you feel better, you do better.
You deserve to feel great.
Start today.
You are worth it.

How Others Live While Worldwide Obesity Rates are UP by 10%

Just got back from a trip to London with my almost 80 year old mom, my two sisters and my two daughters.  Whenever I am gone, I always take an interest in how the locals live their lives.  A few things I noticed while in London:  1) a lot of walking to a lot of public transportation that led to more walking; 2) smaller tables in restaurants, smaller chairs and smaller plates and smaller wine glasses and smaller portions; 3) a heck of a lot of pound cake type desserts and "squidgey" sweets piled high, literally everywhere; 4) smaller people; and that infamous quote 5) keep calm and carry on.

Walking is such a good thing to be doing more of.  In the US, our lifestyle is set up so that we do not do a lot of walking, unless you are in a major city and do take public transportation regularly, you are more likely in a car driving from door to door.  This makes such a huge difference, because it literally is a lifestyle change to walk all the time, wherever you are and wherever you go.  It is more pleasant to be outside than inside.  It is more calming to the nerves to be moving the body than sitting in traffic.  It aids digestion to move at a leisurely pace after eating.  This is built-in exercise that can be taken for granted.

While I appreciate the fact that the Brits are smaller in frame--generally speaking, hence smaller tables and chairs, some of them are getting the message.  I was in a check out line with an older gentleman at a grocery store.  He had a "trolley" of fresh flowers, six pastries, oranges and something else fun.  I said to him that I'd like to go where that stuff is going.  It looked like a Sunday morning party in the making. He said--OH NO, this is not for me--I have no sweet tooth. I am just running the errand.  I can't eat like that--bad for the weight.

I don't understand all the cakes and creamy desserts piled up everywhere like towers including at museums and in Whole Foods like I've never seen, but apparently they are "taken" with tea--which means that people are sitting down to eat leisurely and to take their time and to decompress and to relax with their friends.  I would like some of that too.  No rushing in restaurants to get done and turn the table.   The "keep calm" is on.

I am not pretending that life is perfect in other places or that the grass is always greener.  It isn't.  For example, I don't know what the problem is when it comes to towel racks, trash cans and toilet paper holders in bathrooms....but I do know that more fresh air and time outside would help us all.  I do know that smaller portions, while sitting down will help too.  I do know that seeing people, face to face, for leisurely encounters would destress.

Obesity rates are up because cheap food is more readily available and obviously affordable than healthier food.   Cheap food is caloric, sugary, salty, fatty and lacking nutritional value.  I cannot change the world, but I can change my behavior, and I can help you change yours.   Try adjusting your lifestyle just a little bit to be more actie outside and more thoughtful and slow inside when it comes to meals.

Honor Yourself No Matter What You Weigh

How often do we think poorly of ourselves and then feel poorly about ourselves and then make poor decisions about eating or activity?   I think we might all do this sometimes.  The problem is that when we let the negative voice that plays in our head to determine our worth, we negate all the good things that are also going on.

This morning I was at my gym, Orange Theory.  Make no mistake about it--it's hard every single time. I have been going there for two years, several times a week, and it is still hard, because they keep putting new challenges in front of me.  It is never the same workout twice.  While I was there, I ran into someone I know who is frustrated with her weight.  She was complaining about her body and her number, and saying that despite all the hard work she does, she isn't getting anywhere.  I had to correct her.  She has built lean muscle.  She has improved her eating.  She has increased her strength and endurance.  She has gotten herself in the best physical shape of her life in over twenty years.  That is not nothing.  Yet, I had to remind her to focus on all of that and not the number, because the number is not making her happy--and won't help her make good choices either.

My second daughter, Natalie, just celebrated her 16th birthday yesterday.  She wasn't expected to make it to her first birthday.  She was born with a heart defect that was surgically corrected at 4 months of age and then she got cancer of the bone marrow (AML) at six months of age.  She asked me yesterday if I am glad she was born?  Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes, I am glad she was born.  When I looked at her when she was born I saw hope and the future and love and joy and amazement and God, even though I also saw something "wrong in the middle."  After all that we have been through with her health, I am still in amazement.    Think about seeing a newborn, yours or someone else's.   They don't talk or smile or do much, yet we are in wonder over them.  Now, what would it be like if we could capture some of that appreciation that our moms and dads had for us--and soak it in now, as we are adults?  What if we could see the wonder, joy, amazement?  The negatives would wash away very quickly.

We are more than our bodies.  They matter, but they are not who we are.  We are more than our thoughts.  They matter, but we can change them.  We are more than our personal experiences.  They matter because they shape us, but we can look at them with fresh eyes and new perspective.  We carry with us that wonder that we brought into the world with our very own birth.  Tap into it.  Remember it. Remind yourself of it.  And be nice to yourself.