Self Esteem Helps, Let Me Remind You

When was the last time you thought about your good qualities, your character, your integrity, your skills, your talents, your "superpowers"?  The things that attract people to you are exactly what makes you unique and special to them.  When was the last time you received a compliment?  Maybe it was because of a nice gesture or kind word or even a remark about your outfit?  

Kind words that remind you that you are appreciated and seen for who you really are, are sparks of motivation that help boost self esteem and self confidence.  When you think well of yourself, you are likely to expect good things to happen, to channel your energy in a helpful way, to focus on positive thoughts and gain perspective.  This doesn't mean you are immune to negative events or setbacks.  It means that you have an ability to manage them and even thrive.

As kids, our parents, teachers, coaches helped us with self esteem.  They encouraged us when we were down.  They reminded us to keep going.  They celebrated our milestones and consoled us when we were down.  This boosted our self esteem.  This kind of attention enabled us to make sense of the world and ourselves.  

As adults, we don't always get the feedback we need.  That's precisely when the negative self talk can take over, and the self esteem can bottom out.  While we can't always rely on others to help, we can rely on ourselves.  We can take a moment to give ourselves credit for our good qualities.  We can evaluate that chatter in the mind--and determine whether it is helpful or not helpful.  We can choose to dismiss unhelpful thoughts.  We can remember that because we exist, we matter.  We are important to ourselves, our families, friends, communities, coworkers, etc.   We can then channel this positive self esteem to our self improvement goals.  Because we value ourselves, we naturally want good things to happen.  We believe that we are worthy of them.  We set the bar high, and we keep going.  This is not arrogant or obnoxious.  It is healthy self care.

This week, take a moment to consider your good qualities.  Why do people like you?  What kinds of compliments do you most appreciate?  What is a quality you'd like to develop?  Then, when times get tough, look at that list and let it remind you, you matter.  You are worth the effort.  You can keep going.