We could all benefit from a word of encouragement or pat on the back or gentle redirecting from time to time. Especially when we are working hard to make lifestyle changes, we need the boost. Unfortunately, we often listen to the voice in our head that does not speak gently or kindly or helpfully--especially when things go off track.
For many of us, it is far easier to be kind and compassionate to a friend in need, than it is to take care of our own needs. Maybe we have heard messages about how good it is to be a help to others and to give of yourself, etc. However, it is only good if it is coming from a good place not a place of resentment. Let's consider another point of view--like the possibility that being good to ourselves means that we listen to our bodies. When we are too tired to go on, we take a break, for example. When it is time for lunch, we stop working or driving or texting and just start eating and enjoying our food. When we notice we are looping old messages that make us feel bad and hopeless, we replace those messages with more helpful ones and start repeating them.
Being compassionate and kind to yourself does not mean you let yourself off the hook. That's different. Telling yourself that you will get your taxes done someday but never actually do them is not kind to yourself at all. It has plenty of negative consequences. Telling yourself that if you eat all the leftover birthday cake today then you will be "good" tomorrow and not eat any because it will be gone is crazy thinking--a truly unhelpful thought that can be replaced by a helpful thought--I ate my birthday cake and loved it, but I can't have leftovers in the house because they are too tempting, and I don't want to deal with the consequences of overeating my points and feeling frustrated. That's kind and compassionate and full of wise perspective.
Just because we are adults does not mean we have all the answers to our problems. Just because we know better does not necessarily mean we do better. And just because we haven't done well in the past, does not mean we can't start doing better now. We always have the power and ability to decide how we wish to "show up" in our moments, our days, our lives. If you want to "show up" as a strong, determined, healthy human being, then you have to take on the tasks that strong, determined, healthy human beings take on. You have to rise to the occasion and be someone you are proud of. You don't have to be perfect, and you are allowed to make mistakes, but you do have to do more than you think you can.
When I am at my gym, OrangeTheory, the trainer says that the last few most difficult repetitions in the weight room are where the change happens. When we feel like we can't go on, we are actually getting stronger. When we force ourselves to move beyond our comfort zone physically or mentally or emotionally that's when we create what we really want.
A buzz word of today is "co-creator." That means that you and I, have a pact with each other, to move outside our comfort zone and co-create a bigger life, a healthier life, a fitter life, a more flattering life. It has to come from kindness.
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