Self Compassion is Healthy

Being kind to yourself is actually good for your health.  When you are positive and empathic, you feel better.  Feeling better is a big part of doing better.  On the other hand, beating yourself up and listening to your inner critic is damaging to your health because it makes you feel bad.  When you feel bad, you often do badly.  It really is that simple.

Sometimes, as adults we overthink these things, and we need reminding.  We need to remind ourselves that it is not ok to bully yourself.  If your child or friend came to you and told you how terrible they felt about themselves because of something they regret, you would not continue to gang up on them and go negative.  You would very likely give perspective and help them see the situation in another light.  You would do your best to help them overcome that situation so they could move on and even learn from it.

The next time you find yourself regretting a food choice or a behavior decision, take note.  Stop and ask yourself a few questions:  1) is this true--reality check?  2) is this something I would say to my best friend or child?   And then, commit to treating yourself with the kind, loving words of support and encouragement you would extend to others so you can move onward.

I know this is easier said than done.  I am no more perfect than anyone else, so I practice these skills myself.  If it helps to air out your own grievances or regrets about what is happening, then do it.  And then give yourself the room to forgive yourself and go on.

I so wish I felt the way I did one summer day, long ago at my grandparents' house.  I was about 5 or 6 years, and I climbed up the kitchen counter and opened the corner cabinet and turned the plastic lazy susan until the Baby Aspirin bottle came by.  Then I ate a bunch of those tiny orange aspirins like candy.  Next thing I know, I am at my Nanny and Poppy's house.  They just looked at me and loved me.  I don't know where my parents were; they obviously took me there.  I don't know where my four siblings were.  But, I do know that Nanny and Poppy looked at me like I was the best person in the world.  I felt so good.  I didn't feel like I was bad because I ate those aspirins.  I didn't get sick from them, but I knew I shouldn't do that again even though they tasted like tang.  I just felt like I was an important person and that things would be ok.  Fast forward to today, and I would give anything to go back to their ranch house and sit in their garden and feel that way.  I remind myself of how good they made me feel about me.  I remind myself that even if it doesn't seem like I "deserve" it, I can still get it.

This week, think of a time where you felt the LOVE.  Remember what that was like.  And turn it on yourself.  Why?  Because you are worth it.  That's self compassion.  To your health!