Don't Believe Everything You Think

I saw a great bumper sticker a few weeks ago that said "don't believe everything you think."  It made me chuckle at the time, because it is so true.  So many of the thoughts roaming and racing through our heads are not based in reality.  Some are ruminations over the past.  Some are anxieties and worries about the future.  Neither of these is helpful.

My coach friend, Jennifer, reminded me that it takes three good thoughts to undo the damage of one negative thought.  That is a lot of wasted time getting rid of the bad to make room for the good--which is what is required to keep going.  However, this is exactly the work we must do to live in the present moment and to make sense of our own unique circumstances, which happen to be constantly shifting.

The advice is simple--check your thoughts.  Ask yourself the question--is this about a past that you can do nothing about?  Is this about attaching to a future that is beyond your control?  And the clincher question--is this a helpful thought?  Body shaming, self criticism, hanging on to things that are beyond your control, attaching to negative feelings are NOT helpful thoughts.  They will make us feel defeated, helpless and maybe hopeless.  It doesn't have to be this way.

Check in with yourself frequently throughout the day, especially when you find yourself frustrated or challenged.  Take a deep breath and ask yourself if what you are thinking is helpful or not.  If you aren't sure, then ask yourself if I would encourage you to continue with these thoughts.  If not, it is time to replace your negative thoughts with something positive--like something I might say to you.

It takes practice to keep checking in with yourself.  It is a choice, though that can help you stay grounded in reality and live in the present moment.  It is a choice to stay positive more often than negative.  It is a choice to choose progress over perfection.  It is a choice to say--if I think better of myself and my circumstances, I will feel better.  If I feel better, I will do better.
That's worth every bit of positive self talk.  Because you are worth the effort.  This is your one and only life, so it has to be the one you create for yourself, that meets your high standards.  That is the most helpful thought of all.