We all have expectations for how we would like things to go. I would like to wake up rested. I would like to see the sun shining. I would like to avoid the flu this winter. These are small things that can have a big impact on my day. During this busy, holiday time of year, many of us have far greater expectations for how we'd like things to go--from foods at the holiday table, to the guests sitting in the chairs, to the football game to watch on the big tv, to who is cleaning up all those dishes anyway. Therein lies the rub. There are so many forces outside our control, and counting on people behaving or events unfolding exactly the way we'd like can set us up for varying degrees of disappointment. Disappointment is stressful. Disappointment will raise the cortisol in the system--help us crave junky high fat, high carb foods and help us retain belly fat.
Most people I know would like to be in the driver's seat when it comes to what happens in their lives especially between now and January 1, 2017, i.e. the holiday season. However, other people's expectations of us might get in the way. The weather, the workload, the chores and jobs at home, the family dynamics and the extra stress can play a dramatic role as well.
How are we going to cope and hopefully enjoy the festivities, take breaks as we'd like and not end up frazzled, frustrated or overeating and overdrinking? It's a balancing act just like the rest of life. We decide, in advance, what are our priorities? What is involved with these priorities--is it other people, our time, our money or cooperation? What can we do--NOT WHAT CAN"T WE DO--to help expectations be met? WHAT CAN WE DO to balance fantasy with reality? If we expect everyone at the family to be kind-hearted, polite, appropriate, helpful and not bring up controversial topics--then we might be disappointed if guests show up just to stretch out on the couch and watch football, drink a lot of booze and bemoan the recent election. POOF to holiday expectations.
Life is unpredictable. It does pose challenges that we may not ever see coming. However, that doesn't mean we can't get what we really want. We can choose to be positive by focusing on what matters most and by being flexible so that we can "go with the flow" when we are smacked with that dark side between what we want and what we actually get.
Spend some time thinking about how you'd like the next six weeks to go? Think about what you really need? A babysitter to shop in peace? A night alone at home, going to bed early? A fun outing with friends to get in the mood? An assist from the grocery store for a beautiful pie or side dish? Think about what you really want? A busy holiday season? A relaxed holiday season sticking to sleeping, eating, exercising routines as much as possible? Think about how realistic these expectations are. Think about setting yourself up to choose positivity no matter how things actually go. With that life skill at hand, you can have what you really want, i.e. progress not perfection. You can have a happy holiday season with limited frustration and maximum joy.
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