No Judging--Slip Ups are Part of Progress

One of the hardest life lessons is to learn from your "mistakes" and then move on.  So much gets in the way, starting with that little voice in your head that says "you can't do this..."  Negative self talk, criticism, judging and fear are but a few of the stumbling blocks that keep us from propelling ourselves forward.  

We often let unhelpful "tapes" keep playing in our heads when a momentary setback occurs.  Those unhelpful tapes make it harder not easier to move on.  Some say that evolution is to blame. Expecting something bad to happen was part of survival.  It meant that you had to be in a heightened state of awareness so that you could protect yourself from attackers.  We need to resist that urge to go negative by reinforcing the positive.  By doing so, we are gently embracing the good that we anticipate.  We gather the courage to keep going even though we were temporarily off track.

To complicate matters, oftentimes, our expectations are unrealistic when lifestyle change is at hand. We think that because we decided to "get healthy" that we will be as enthusiastic and driven as we were the day we began the life changing journey.  Not so.  The path to success is full of pock marks, stop signs and rerouting. That's normal, and it is to be expected.  By expecting momentary setbacks, we can get better at recognizing them for what they are, i.e. temporary and not the end of the road.

Another unhelpful tape that often plays when we are frustrated is one of judgment.  "I'm not good at this... I can't do this...  I should just give up...  This is going to kill me..."  None of this is helping. It is also setting your sights too low.  Things might not be going well for the moment, but that has nothing to do with how things might go once you regroup and move on.  Maybe the plan you had in place was too restrictive.  Maybe the exercise schedule you put in place was too demanding.  Maybe life got in the way of your good intentions.  Whatever the reason, the behavior change is the same.  Move forward.  No judging.    

We can often treat others better than we treat ourselves.  If a friend who was having a hard time losing weight or engaging in an exercise routine, and was falling apart, we wouldn't berate them and tell them that they will always be a failure.  Hopefully, we would listen to them, encourage them and do our best to talk them out of quitting on themselves.  If we can do it for others, we need to do it for ourselves as well.

Your life is made up of what you CAN do, not what you cannot do.  Your life is made up of the experiences you choose to have not the ones you try to avoid.  Yes, the dark side is always there, but that's not the focus and not the greater part of who you are today or who you wish to become tomorrow and the next day after.