How often do we think poorly of ourselves and then feel poorly about ourselves and then make poor decisions about eating or activity? I think we might all do this sometimes. The problem is that when we let the negative voice that plays in our head to determine our worth, we negate all the good things that are also going on.
This morning I was at my gym, Orange Theory. Make no mistake about it--it's hard every single time. I have been going there for two years, several times a week, and it is still hard, because they keep putting new challenges in front of me. It is never the same workout twice. While I was there, I ran into someone I know who is frustrated with her weight. She was complaining about her body and her number, and saying that despite all the hard work she does, she isn't getting anywhere. I had to correct her. She has built lean muscle. She has improved her eating. She has increased her strength and endurance. She has gotten herself in the best physical shape of her life in over twenty years. That is not nothing. Yet, I had to remind her to focus on all of that and not the number, because the number is not making her happy--and won't help her make good choices either.
My second daughter, Natalie, just celebrated her 16th birthday yesterday. She wasn't expected to make it to her first birthday. She was born with a heart defect that was surgically corrected at 4 months of age and then she got cancer of the bone marrow (AML) at six months of age. She asked me yesterday if I am glad she was born? Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes, I am glad she was born. When I looked at her when she was born I saw hope and the future and love and joy and amazement and God, even though I also saw something "wrong in the middle." After all that we have been through with her health, I am still in amazement. Think about seeing a newborn, yours or someone else's. They don't talk or smile or do much, yet we are in wonder over them. Now, what would it be like if we could capture some of that appreciation that our moms and dads had for us--and soak it in now, as we are adults? What if we could see the wonder, joy, amazement? The negatives would wash away very quickly.
We are more than our bodies. They matter, but they are not who we are. We are more than our thoughts. They matter, but we can change them. We are more than our personal experiences. They matter because they shape us, but we can look at them with fresh eyes and new perspective. We carry with us that wonder that we brought into the world with our very own birth. Tap into it. Remember it. Remind yourself of it. And be nice to yourself.
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