My 17 year old daughter, Natalie, made a "mindfulness jar" in a class. This is a small mason jar filled with pink glitter, suspended in liquid. It's like a super snow globe. She left this in my mom's car. My mom pointed this out to her, and she was livid. She said she doesn't need to be reminded about her mindfulness jar! Therein lies the irony. We DO need to be reminded to be mindful because we are often scattered with our energy and intention, and we simply forget.
There are so many ways to think about this buzzword of today: mindfulness. Let's break it down. Mindful means that the mind is full. It is full in the present moment, with present moment intention. The mind is focused on what is right now. If getting out of the car with my stuff is the present moment, then I am collecting my stuff as I exit the car. If getting out the car, listening to ear buds, snapchatting someone and thinking about dinner is keeping the mind full, then I might forget what I am accidentally leaving behind.
To be clear, it can be challenging to live in a state of mindfulness. The mind itself likes to jump to conclusions, form observations, make judgments, connect the dots. Technology scatters the mind's intention and drains our focused energy. Some people say we are only aware of 7% of what is really happening.
The good news is that there is no perfection when it comes to being mindful. There is simply practice. Some days we are practicing more often than others. The more we practice being present in the moment, the more we will refrain from distractions that rob us of our peace of mind. Borrowing worry (tomorrow) or bemoaning the past (yesterday) keeps us from thriving in the present, the now, the mindful moment.
Today is made up of a series of moments, one stacked on top of the other. By adding up the days, the weeks, the months, the years, you have your life. Now is a great time to reflect on your moments. Do you like how you are spending them? Do you enjoy them more often than not? Do you slow down long enough to savor the good moments and really appreciate them? If so, keep going. If not, you can simply take a long deep inhale through the nose right now and let the breath out slowly and relax. This signals your body to calm down. This exercise trains the mind to turn to something positive, especially useful in times of high stress. This keeps you grounded to the all-powerful present. That's the most powerful position of all.
Tuesday, October 23, 2018
Thursday, October 18, 2018
A Growth Mindset Works
It is so easy to get stuck in our own wicked ways, irrational thoughts or preconceived notions about how life is supposed to be. If we never question what we're thinking, we might not be limiting ourselves. Let's consider replacing a "fixed mindset" with a "growth mindset." An example of a fixed mindset is one where there are absolutes like--"I always gain weight at holiday time." While it may be true that in the past, weight gain was part of holiday time, that does not mean it has to happen this holiday season. This can be somewhat counterintuitive. In a lot of cases, past performance is a strong indicator of future success. NOT SO when it comes to self improvement. It does not matter how often we attempt behavior change and miss the mark, that does not mean we won't hit the target this time.
A growth mindset is open to possibilities. It is grounded in perspective and a positive outlook. An example of this might sound like--"I have gained weight at holiday time in the past, but this year I am going to set myself up for success so that doesn't happen." By shifting the mindset to this kind of thinking, we are retraining the brain. We move away from all or nothing thinking. We leave behind our previous experiences that didn't work for us anyway, and we are opening ourselves up to something good--something we want: a new outcome.
This is not to suggest that if I think positive thoughts, I will get whatever I want like a winning lottery ticket. That's magical thinking. This is to remind us that we have control over our thoughts. We can choose to focus on positive ones, helpful ones, reflective ones. We can choose to silence negative thoughts that remind us of previous mistakes. By thinking positive thoughts, we feel better. We are grounded in reality. We then set our actions up for success too. If I don't want to gain weight at holiday time, I am booking my workouts, staying out of the kitchen at night, drinking one cocktail not two, restricting baking, etc.
We all have lived in our own heads for so long. It is so tempting to think that our thoughts are reality, but they don't have to be. We can rewrite our own success story by thinking of how we'd like it to go. The sky is the limit when it comes to getting what we really want. Yes, it is work that takes effort, but the rewards are so worthwhile. This work is making our very precious dreams come true.
A growth mindset is open to possibilities. It is grounded in perspective and a positive outlook. An example of this might sound like--"I have gained weight at holiday time in the past, but this year I am going to set myself up for success so that doesn't happen." By shifting the mindset to this kind of thinking, we are retraining the brain. We move away from all or nothing thinking. We leave behind our previous experiences that didn't work for us anyway, and we are opening ourselves up to something good--something we want: a new outcome.
This is not to suggest that if I think positive thoughts, I will get whatever I want like a winning lottery ticket. That's magical thinking. This is to remind us that we have control over our thoughts. We can choose to focus on positive ones, helpful ones, reflective ones. We can choose to silence negative thoughts that remind us of previous mistakes. By thinking positive thoughts, we feel better. We are grounded in reality. We then set our actions up for success too. If I don't want to gain weight at holiday time, I am booking my workouts, staying out of the kitchen at night, drinking one cocktail not two, restricting baking, etc.
We all have lived in our own heads for so long. It is so tempting to think that our thoughts are reality, but they don't have to be. We can rewrite our own success story by thinking of how we'd like it to go. The sky is the limit when it comes to getting what we really want. Yes, it is work that takes effort, but the rewards are so worthwhile. This work is making our very precious dreams come true.
Thursday, October 11, 2018
Mr. Rogers Grew Up With a Weight Problem?
When I was on a plane recently, I watched the Mr. Rogers Neighborhood movie. It is a documentary about Fred Rogers, the man, the minister, the children's advocate, the PBS personality in blue keds and a cardigan. I grew up watching the show. I remembered the sound of the trolly coming through the wall on its way to the Land of Make Believe. I remembered the puppets, the field trips, feeding the fish. As a kid, I just watched this calm show and liked his "won't you be my neighbor" songs and messages. As an adult, seeing snippets of episodes and listening to Mr. Rogers speak, I was flooded with nostalgia and surprised by a few things.
As a kid, I obviously didn't know about Fred Rogers going to Congress to get approval for his PBS show. He tossed his prepared remarks aside and spoke from the heart--specifically about helping kids manage stressful emotions. I didn't know about all the "Golden Rule" messages he was softly presenting. And, I certainly did not know that Fred Rogers had a weight problem growing up. Hmmm. In his era, that was not the norm, so he likely stood out from his peers. As an adult, he was also determined to overcome this problem. Hmmm. I can relate. He made sure that he swam every day, and he weighed himself every day. He even advertised his weight, 143, on the castle in the Land of Make Believe. He said that "143" represented the number of letters in each word in the phrase "I LOVE YOU." Maybe so, but it also stood for something very important to him personally. Hiding in plain sight, it was a mark of success for him.
As a Wellness Coach for almost fifteen years, I have the privilege of being up close and very personal with many people in their journeys, joys, struggles and successes as they create the life they really want. I truly believe we come like children to the studio workshop (formerly known as meeting) because we need a lot of reminding, modeling, reinforcing, steering, directing, cheering, companionship, acceptance and accountability to keep going. Self improvement with weight loss can be simple: eat less than you are now--specifically junk and eat more healthy foods. Move the body a little or a lot, frequently throughout the day. Drink lots of water and stay hydrated. Spend time with people who like you and like doing things with you. Go to bed and get good rest. Manage stress not by eating it, fighting it or screaming it--but by doing something stress relieving--like talking to a friend, exercising, meditating, walking.
It is all so basic, yet we often let it become so much more complicated than it needs to be. So, what about taking a page from Mr. Rogers' book. Make life a little simpler. Take small steps, little by little, moment by moment. Treasure the life you have now--knowing you are connected to so many other people who are traveling this very same path. Expect this to go well when you lead from the heart.
As a kid, I obviously didn't know about Fred Rogers going to Congress to get approval for his PBS show. He tossed his prepared remarks aside and spoke from the heart--specifically about helping kids manage stressful emotions. I didn't know about all the "Golden Rule" messages he was softly presenting. And, I certainly did not know that Fred Rogers had a weight problem growing up. Hmmm. In his era, that was not the norm, so he likely stood out from his peers. As an adult, he was also determined to overcome this problem. Hmmm. I can relate. He made sure that he swam every day, and he weighed himself every day. He even advertised his weight, 143, on the castle in the Land of Make Believe. He said that "143" represented the number of letters in each word in the phrase "I LOVE YOU." Maybe so, but it also stood for something very important to him personally. Hiding in plain sight, it was a mark of success for him.
As a Wellness Coach for almost fifteen years, I have the privilege of being up close and very personal with many people in their journeys, joys, struggles and successes as they create the life they really want. I truly believe we come like children to the studio workshop (formerly known as meeting) because we need a lot of reminding, modeling, reinforcing, steering, directing, cheering, companionship, acceptance and accountability to keep going. Self improvement with weight loss can be simple: eat less than you are now--specifically junk and eat more healthy foods. Move the body a little or a lot, frequently throughout the day. Drink lots of water and stay hydrated. Spend time with people who like you and like doing things with you. Go to bed and get good rest. Manage stress not by eating it, fighting it or screaming it--but by doing something stress relieving--like talking to a friend, exercising, meditating, walking.
It is all so basic, yet we often let it become so much more complicated than it needs to be. So, what about taking a page from Mr. Rogers' book. Make life a little simpler. Take small steps, little by little, moment by moment. Treasure the life you have now--knowing you are connected to so many other people who are traveling this very same path. Expect this to go well when you lead from the heart.
Thursday, October 4, 2018
How Do You Want to Feel
If you often eat based on how you feel, why not exercise based on how you would like to feel? For example, what if you'd like to feel more relaxed or energized or stronger? You might think about matching a relaxing activity like yoga, qigong or easy walking. If you are looking for more energy, you might consider spin class, jogging or bootcamp. If you are looking for strength, that could be a weight training class or kick boxing.
Exercise, fitness, activity, moving more--it all means the same thing: the body is in motion. This is a critical part of our wellness plan. Moving the body is the best way to dump stress hormones (cortisol and adrenaline) from the system. Moving the body gives the mind a much needed break. It allows the mind to stop jumping from one thought to another, which can feel exhausting. Moving the body gives us more body confidence and a sense of accomplishment. We can use that goodwill to inform food choices and stay focused on goals.
The good thing is that we don't have to commit hours to fitness to get the benefits. We can commit bits of time, because ten minutes here and ten minutes there adds up to twenty minutes of fitness that we might not otherwise commit to. Some effort is always better than none. It all adds up. It all counts.
It makes sense to find activities you like. The more you like what you are doing, the more likely you are to continue doing it. That seems obvious. But, what if you are one of those people who really doesn't like exercise? You can do it anyway. Just find what you dislike the least, and try it for ten minutes. Find a buddy to participate--like a walk during work? An accountability partner might just make this happen.
Weight loss comes from healthy food choices, mostly. This is key component in creating a healthy lifestyle. Another key component to a healthy lifestyle is adding more steps, more fit breaks, more activity to daily life. It's worth the effort because your goals are worth the effort.
Move a little more, and notice how it makes you feel. Then, keep going!
Exercise, fitness, activity, moving more--it all means the same thing: the body is in motion. This is a critical part of our wellness plan. Moving the body is the best way to dump stress hormones (cortisol and adrenaline) from the system. Moving the body gives the mind a much needed break. It allows the mind to stop jumping from one thought to another, which can feel exhausting. Moving the body gives us more body confidence and a sense of accomplishment. We can use that goodwill to inform food choices and stay focused on goals.
The good thing is that we don't have to commit hours to fitness to get the benefits. We can commit bits of time, because ten minutes here and ten minutes there adds up to twenty minutes of fitness that we might not otherwise commit to. Some effort is always better than none. It all adds up. It all counts.
It makes sense to find activities you like. The more you like what you are doing, the more likely you are to continue doing it. That seems obvious. But, what if you are one of those people who really doesn't like exercise? You can do it anyway. Just find what you dislike the least, and try it for ten minutes. Find a buddy to participate--like a walk during work? An accountability partner might just make this happen.
Weight loss comes from healthy food choices, mostly. This is key component in creating a healthy lifestyle. Another key component to a healthy lifestyle is adding more steps, more fit breaks, more activity to daily life. It's worth the effort because your goals are worth the effort.
Move a little more, and notice how it makes you feel. Then, keep going!
Thursday, September 27, 2018
Manage Emotional Eating: Flee or Fight
Everyone has the potential to be an emotional eater because everyone experiences stress in their lives, and everyone has to eat in good times and bad and everything in between. Babies are stressed when they are hungry or thirsty, tired or wet. Little children are stressed when they are asked to be still when their bodies just want to move. Teenagers of today are stressed by technology coming at them, etc. etc.
When the body experiences stress--a perceived threat, like anxiety or pressure of expectations or worry over job security, health, family, etc., the adrenal glands secrete adrenaline and cortisol. These stress hormones helped our ancient ancestors to survive. Their stress was fear for their lives--mortal danger. They responded by fleeing the perceived threat or fighting it. The very last resort was to freeze in place. After the fleeing or fighting, their bodies were depleted of calories. They needed calories to survive. So they replaced those calories they burned.
My dog, Pippa, doesn't like fireworks. The loud noise, the repetition tell her to escape the perceived threat, i.e. flee. Fourth of July is the prime time for dogs to get lost because of this very reason. Because we keep Pippa inside and safe, and although she still can hear the booms of fireworks, she is frozen in place with her stress. Her body responds to this by shaking it off. She trembles. This is helping her release the nasty cortisol and adrenaline that is building up in her body. This shaking is helping.
As for human beings, our bodies still respond to stress the way our ancestors' bodies did even though we are not living in fear for our lives. Our body doesn't know this, so it ramps up the cortisol and adrenaline in preparation for a flight or a fight. This is a physical problem because excess cortisol and adrenaline suppress the immune system and lead to disease to say nothing of emotional eating. Ninety percent of doctor's visits are stress related. While our problems are different than our ancestors, our physical response in the body is the same. Our desire to replace calories is the same as well.
For this reason, I suggest that we practice a modern day version of fleeing (taking a walk) or fighting (vigorous exercise). By responding to emotional situations with a physical response, we can dump that nasty cortisol and adrenaline. We can "shake it off" so to speak. This doesn't mean our problems disappear. This means that the way we deal with them shifts. A simple five minute walk (fleeing) away from a problem at work or home might be just what's needed to get some relief. By doing something as simple as this, we transform negative into positive. A life skill to be sure.
If walking away or moving vigorously or even shaking is not an option, then meditative breathing is the way to go. By breathing in deeply through the nose and out through the nose or mouth, we signal to the body that we are NOT ramping up, but we are slowing DOWN. We are telling our body to relax. We are training our mind to let go. We are creating a physical response.
Living fully means that we will have a vast array of experiences. We care about our health, our families, our jobs, our communities, our hobbies, etc. We feel a broad spectrum of emotions. They don't even have to make sense. Emotions are legitimate because they exist. It is precisely these emotions that can create stress for our hearts, minds and bodies. In the technology age, we live so much in our heads, but that is not helping. We benefit by working with the body to create more balance, stress relief and calm.
When the body experiences stress--a perceived threat, like anxiety or pressure of expectations or worry over job security, health, family, etc., the adrenal glands secrete adrenaline and cortisol. These stress hormones helped our ancient ancestors to survive. Their stress was fear for their lives--mortal danger. They responded by fleeing the perceived threat or fighting it. The very last resort was to freeze in place. After the fleeing or fighting, their bodies were depleted of calories. They needed calories to survive. So they replaced those calories they burned.
My dog, Pippa, doesn't like fireworks. The loud noise, the repetition tell her to escape the perceived threat, i.e. flee. Fourth of July is the prime time for dogs to get lost because of this very reason. Because we keep Pippa inside and safe, and although she still can hear the booms of fireworks, she is frozen in place with her stress. Her body responds to this by shaking it off. She trembles. This is helping her release the nasty cortisol and adrenaline that is building up in her body. This shaking is helping.
As for human beings, our bodies still respond to stress the way our ancestors' bodies did even though we are not living in fear for our lives. Our body doesn't know this, so it ramps up the cortisol and adrenaline in preparation for a flight or a fight. This is a physical problem because excess cortisol and adrenaline suppress the immune system and lead to disease to say nothing of emotional eating. Ninety percent of doctor's visits are stress related. While our problems are different than our ancestors, our physical response in the body is the same. Our desire to replace calories is the same as well.
For this reason, I suggest that we practice a modern day version of fleeing (taking a walk) or fighting (vigorous exercise). By responding to emotional situations with a physical response, we can dump that nasty cortisol and adrenaline. We can "shake it off" so to speak. This doesn't mean our problems disappear. This means that the way we deal with them shifts. A simple five minute walk (fleeing) away from a problem at work or home might be just what's needed to get some relief. By doing something as simple as this, we transform negative into positive. A life skill to be sure.
If walking away or moving vigorously or even shaking is not an option, then meditative breathing is the way to go. By breathing in deeply through the nose and out through the nose or mouth, we signal to the body that we are NOT ramping up, but we are slowing DOWN. We are telling our body to relax. We are training our mind to let go. We are creating a physical response.
Living fully means that we will have a vast array of experiences. We care about our health, our families, our jobs, our communities, our hobbies, etc. We feel a broad spectrum of emotions. They don't even have to make sense. Emotions are legitimate because they exist. It is precisely these emotions that can create stress for our hearts, minds and bodies. In the technology age, we live so much in our heads, but that is not helping. We benefit by working with the body to create more balance, stress relief and calm.
Thursday, September 13, 2018
Set Yourself Up to Succeed: Skinny Kitchen Makeover
Who doesn't like clean kitchen counters, free from snail mail, power cords, backpacks, etc.? It is a breath of fresh air for me to walk into my kitchen and see that dirty dishes have made their way to the dishwasher, the refrigerator is full of healthy, ready to eat options, and that the pantry is organized. Two opposing but complementary forces are at work here. First, I have to get the junky food out of my house. If it is not possible to remove all of the junky food that other family members desire, then at the very least, I have to relocate "red light" foods to harder to reach places. Second, I have to do some meal planning and grocery shopping so that I can welcome the good foods into the house. And finally, I have to keep this routine going: removing trigger foods and gathering healthier options.
Whew! That can feel like a lot of work. I call it the skinny kitchen makeover. It can happen in the cupboard, refrigerator, freezer or pantry. Wherever there is food stored, it makes sense to keep it organized. If you see the healthier option prepped and ready to go--you might be more likely to choose it. If the unhealthy option isn't even there, it will be that much harder to get to it.
This all makes logical sense, but this work is not happening unless the mindset is set up for success. We benefit from losing just as much weight in our mind as we do in our body. Now is the time to return to basics and reconnect with what works. Measuring, weighing, counting and tracking works. It creates mindful eating. Seeking out any of the 200 zero-point foods and building meals around them works. It is filling and satisfying. It keeps the daily point count down. Removing distractions that keep meals calmer works. Electronics, a rushed schedule, eating at the counter while standing up do not create satiety. If you aren't feeling satisfied, you may keep eating even if your stomach is really full. Leaving the kitchen when meals are finished and works. If you hang out too long where the food is kept, you might start eating again or might start snacking just because someone else is. (I have never bought a house with a kitchen and family room together because of this very reason.)
Your physical space matters. It is either helpful or hurtful in your healthy lifestyle. Take a moment to observe your kitchen with a critical eye. Do you have a food scale or measuring cups/spoons always available? Do you know the point values of everything there? You might consider scanning everything you have and writing the value on the package with a big black sharpie. That way, you will always know what you are choosing. Do you have staples ready and waiting for you in case of emergency? A good dinner might be stored in your freezer or easily pulled together with some basics in cans.
It is a lifelong pursuit to take good care of yourself. What you eat and what you choose not to eat is significant to your health and longevity. This is something you can control. Set yourself up to succeed. You are worth it.
Whew! That can feel like a lot of work. I call it the skinny kitchen makeover. It can happen in the cupboard, refrigerator, freezer or pantry. Wherever there is food stored, it makes sense to keep it organized. If you see the healthier option prepped and ready to go--you might be more likely to choose it. If the unhealthy option isn't even there, it will be that much harder to get to it.
This all makes logical sense, but this work is not happening unless the mindset is set up for success. We benefit from losing just as much weight in our mind as we do in our body. Now is the time to return to basics and reconnect with what works. Measuring, weighing, counting and tracking works. It creates mindful eating. Seeking out any of the 200 zero-point foods and building meals around them works. It is filling and satisfying. It keeps the daily point count down. Removing distractions that keep meals calmer works. Electronics, a rushed schedule, eating at the counter while standing up do not create satiety. If you aren't feeling satisfied, you may keep eating even if your stomach is really full. Leaving the kitchen when meals are finished and works. If you hang out too long where the food is kept, you might start eating again or might start snacking just because someone else is. (I have never bought a house with a kitchen and family room together because of this very reason.)
Your physical space matters. It is either helpful or hurtful in your healthy lifestyle. Take a moment to observe your kitchen with a critical eye. Do you have a food scale or measuring cups/spoons always available? Do you know the point values of everything there? You might consider scanning everything you have and writing the value on the package with a big black sharpie. That way, you will always know what you are choosing. Do you have staples ready and waiting for you in case of emergency? A good dinner might be stored in your freezer or easily pulled together with some basics in cans.
It is a lifelong pursuit to take good care of yourself. What you eat and what you choose not to eat is significant to your health and longevity. This is something you can control. Set yourself up to succeed. You are worth it.
Thursday, September 6, 2018
The Universe Says Yes
I was attending a QiGong teacher training this past weekend, and one of the teachers was talking about presenting classes and finding new students and starting a qigong business. She said, "just imagine--the universe says yes." I loved that idea, because it is so much more helpful to focus on things going well and turning out as opposed to fearing resistance and failure.
Yet, how often are we trapped in negative, unhelpful thoughts that seem to become reality? I know I am guilty of this. Just this week, I went to my OrangeTheory Fitness workout, and the trainer said that is was "strength" day. That means we are running hills on the treadmill. I don't like running hills, and I dislike strength day a lot. I heard a fearful voice in my head say--I can't do this. Then I realized immediately that my body was eavesdropping on my mind. I knocked it off right then and there. I turned it around and just ran the hills. The universe says yes.
This week, the weather turned just a bit in Minnesota. Jackets are coming out, and the temps are dipping a little. The leaves are turning on some trees, and it feels like a change is coming. In times of transition, it can be helpful to look back and see where we were, to learn from experience--as we look forward to see where we are going. Looking back over the summer, we can consider what the universe said yes to? A vacation, more fun times, longer days, more light--the universe said yes to all of those things. Now, let's also consider what might have gotten in the way?
Now, let's plan on the universe saying yes to what we'd really like to have. We too change with the seasons. We are organic material. We feel differently. We eat differently. We sleep differently. We are not the same this fall as we were all summer. That keeps life interesting. With that in mind--what will we expect and plan--for the universe to say yes to?
The power of your mind to control your body and your life cannot be underestimated. Shedding fattening thoughts is just as much a part of the journey of a healthy, long life as shedding pounds and decreasing in inches.
Expect this journey to go well.
Expect this journey to change from moment to moment.
Expect this journey to take you places where you will meet demons and earth angels.
Expect this journey to be worthwhile and worthy of you.
Expect the universe to say yes.
Yet, how often are we trapped in negative, unhelpful thoughts that seem to become reality? I know I am guilty of this. Just this week, I went to my OrangeTheory Fitness workout, and the trainer said that is was "strength" day. That means we are running hills on the treadmill. I don't like running hills, and I dislike strength day a lot. I heard a fearful voice in my head say--I can't do this. Then I realized immediately that my body was eavesdropping on my mind. I knocked it off right then and there. I turned it around and just ran the hills. The universe says yes.
This week, the weather turned just a bit in Minnesota. Jackets are coming out, and the temps are dipping a little. The leaves are turning on some trees, and it feels like a change is coming. In times of transition, it can be helpful to look back and see where we were, to learn from experience--as we look forward to see where we are going. Looking back over the summer, we can consider what the universe said yes to? A vacation, more fun times, longer days, more light--the universe said yes to all of those things. Now, let's also consider what might have gotten in the way?
Now, let's plan on the universe saying yes to what we'd really like to have. We too change with the seasons. We are organic material. We feel differently. We eat differently. We sleep differently. We are not the same this fall as we were all summer. That keeps life interesting. With that in mind--what will we expect and plan--for the universe to say yes to?
The power of your mind to control your body and your life cannot be underestimated. Shedding fattening thoughts is just as much a part of the journey of a healthy, long life as shedding pounds and decreasing in inches.
Expect this journey to go well.
Expect this journey to change from moment to moment.
Expect this journey to take you places where you will meet demons and earth angels.
Expect this journey to be worthwhile and worthy of you.
Expect the universe to say yes.
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