Appreciate What Your Body Can Do

When it comes to self improvement, we benefit from all the help we can get.  That help starts with us--and that voice that keeps playing in our very own heads.  If those messages are negative and unhelpful, it will make it that much harder to improve.  In short, focus on what you want more of--not on what you don't.

As far as our bodies go, there is often a lot of shame, pressure, judging, comparing and negativity involved.  Simply thinking that your thighs are too big or your arms are too floppy is all it takes.  Those negative thoughts make it that much harder to improve the shape of those thighs and arms.  

This does not have to be.  In fact, instead of focusing on what you might not like about your body, research shows that if you focus on what your body has done for you and can do for you--you are more likely to lose weight.  This is very good news, because we control our thoughts.  We control what we focus on.  We can turn this around.

I am a mom.  I am glad my body made children.  My body does what I ask it to at the gym.  My body gets stronger and more flexible.  My legs walk me to where I want to go and away from where I do not wish to be.  Focusing on these things makes me body confident.  That makes me feel lighter.  

I often tell my yoga students that the only body parts you need to survive are a torso, neck and head.  This is true.  Arms and legs are extras, but I don't know anyone who would give them up no matter whether they look like a photo shopped magazine cover or not.  Even Cindy Crawford, a famous model, once said that she wished she looked like her magazine covers.  Appreciate what you have, and you will have even more.  

Eat From All the Food Groups

When people talk about the food groups, what they mean is this:

lean protein
fruits and veggies
lean dairy and dairy substitutes
whole grains
healthy fats

Chocolate is not a food group, and neither is wine.  Those are extras and indulgences that you might work into your plan.  Make no mistake about it--we all benefit from balancing our intake based on this old-fashioned yet still relevant breakdown. 

There has been a lot of confusion from marketers about what "healthy" really means.  In fact, there was a major misunderstanding in the weight loss world that "fat free" meant good news.  However, that wasn't entirely true.  We don't benefit from a completely fat free intake because we need healthy fats which are UNsaturated fats, found in salmon, avocado, nuts, nut butters, olive, canola, sunflower, safflower and flaxseed oil.  On the other hand, SATurated fats and sugar are what leads to overweight and obesity.  Limiting those fats is smart because they are prohibitively high in calories, and it's hard to discern when you are full when you are eating SATurated fat filled foods like potato chips and cake.  I can tell when I've had enough salmon. 

Butter and cream are 100% SATurated fat.  You may love them, and you may be working them into your plan which is your choice.  Just don't forget about the UNsaturated fats that are heart healthy, full of vitamin E, good for your brain, hair, skin and nails.  That's part of being a healthier new you.

Holiday or No Holiday--You are in Charge

July 4 is barely in the rear-view mirror.  Maybe it was another day off in an entire week's break from work or maybe it was a staycation stand-alone day--or part of a long weekend--it doesn't matter.  A holiday or a vacation/staycation is no excuse not to keep taking good care of yourself in body, mind and spirit. 

To some, I know this sounds "woo woo."  However, it is so basic, that we missed the plot.  We all benefit from doing the many things it takes effort to do--to keep ourselves going.  We owe this to ourselves and our families and our coworkers.  It's not fair to give it all away at work and then come home exhausted and too tired for the home team.  Nor is it acceptable to stay up too late and watch netflix and then show up at work with zero brainpower for the day. 

Let's consider other versions of "not showing up" which would look more like this--not shopping for groceries because it is a holiday weekend, because you are too tired anyway and then thinking you'll be grabbing food out.  Another version of not taking good care of yourself is not moving your body--at least some every day.  Truth be told, your body wants to move around and be outside.  It's your mind telling you otherwise.   Not making time to ease into a sleep ritual and then making time for quality, uninterrupted restorative sleep is also a version of not showing up for yourself.  Sleep is critical to your health, metabolism, hormone function, etc.  What about your hobbies and interests?  These are things that you like because you do, and when you participate in them, you feel renewed, energized, involved and happier?  Happiness begets good health.  We benefit from doing things that bring more happiness to our lives.  What about managing stress?  Letting things beyond your control make you upset by activating the adrenalin/cortisol fight/flight/bite response is unhealthy and very fattening.  I can't forget to mention one of the most important self-care pursuits of all--shifting the mindset.  This happens all the time, everywhere.  We have to talk ourselves down from unhelpful thoughts and retrain the focus to what is helpful.  This job will never be done because you never know when something might happen to thwart your positivity.

All this is to say that no matter what day of the week, month or year, you deserve the very best you can get for your precious life.  If you are finding yourself at a turnaround moment, then do just that--turn yourself around and realize you can begin again.  This is one of life's best lessons for the adult in all of us.  Celebrate that!

The Cold, Sharp Knife Edge of Accountability

There is so much advice at your fingertips on how to become your best self, lose those unwanted pounds, stop stressing and start living, get your career into high gear, etc.  Some of this information might even be helpful, but only if you are willing to hold yourself accountable to the advice.  Therein lies the rub.

As adults, there is no one who can make us accountable to ourselves except ourselves.  No one will make us eat our veggies or go to the gym or make our bed.  These things can easily go undone.  It doesn't make us happy or healthy to just "let loose" and do whatever we feel like and skip whatever we don't.  That makes us self indulgent and maybe even lazy.

No matter what your intention--painting a bathroom, cleaning out clutter, organizing your finances, making health and wellness appointments, losing weight or making peace with your past--if you don't make yourself do these things, they never happen.  Days run into weeks, and weeks run into months, and nothing moves forward.  The guilt and frustration of "not showing up" might become your new normal.

NOT OK!  It is not ok to let yourself go and slide into the least interested, least functioning, least engaged version of yourself.  This is not a mental health day I am referring to--this is a wholesale giving up on yourself. 

Yes, it is effort to show up for yourself and your life and follow through, but then come the rewards of keeping your word--to yourself--of practicing self care--of being the person you wish to be.  That's accountability.  Maybe that knife edge I referred to is actually helping you stand up a little straighter and show up a little stronger. 

Why Is It So Hard to Stay Positive?

Most of us naturally are attracted to positive people, just as most of us are repelled by negative people.  It's our human inclination to move towards what feels good and flee from what feels unpleasant.  Unfortunately, we are hard-wired, in our brains, in our DNA, to go to the negative, or the dark side as I like to call it.  Our ancient ancestors survived, literally, survived not getting killed by a predator by anticipating bad things and being ready to flee, fight or bite.  Shift to now and notice that pathway in the brain is well trampled.  When one thing goes wrong, we quickly expect another thing to go wrong.  Our world view is then affirmed--bad things are always happening, and then we stay in that negative, cortisol-filled and adrenalin-fueled place.

The brain work of today is different.  We do not need to anticipate a predator coming to eat us.  We do not benefit from activating the flight/fight/bite response in our bodies.  It doesn't make us happy or healthy.  Instead, we benefit from intentionally fixating our mind on the positive.  We feel better when we do, and we become happier because we don't perceive the world as a threat.  Happier means healthier.  Yes, this is true, happier people who focus on being positive instead of dwelling on being negative are healthier. 

There are so many ways to practice being more positive.  One is to notice nature.  Nature makes us feel better because it is our native habitat.  When we notice colors, smells, sights, sounds, textures in the sky, in fields, in gardens, we feel connected to something bigger than ourselves.  When we take time to slow down and not anticipate a problem, we can be present in the moment and reduce stress.  Whew--no fleeing, fighting or biting.  Instead, we activate the "rest and digest" response in the body.
Even focusing on taking a few deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the nose or mouth can ground us to the moment, flip that rest/digest switch and help us feel better and more hopeful--which is positive.

Does this mean that bad things aren't happening?  No.  Bad things are happening.  Tragic things might even be happening.  But, so are good things.  All of them--all the time--at the same time.

This week, focus your mind on what you want more of, on the goodness, the light, the happiness and see what happens.  It just might make you very modern, very current, very much in the present and of course, happier and healthier. 

Plan for Parties, Picnics, Summer Fun

In Minnesota, the three months of summer whiz by way too quickly.  Each weekend is usually packed with ideas on how to expand the joy outside.  This includes trips "up north" to the lake, staycation weekends, leaving work earlier on Fridays as well as the usual summer celebrations like graduations, showers, weddings, picnics and parties.  We really try to make the most of it, because, after all, we know the other side (six months or more of winter). 

While summer brings the farmers' markets and more fresh, affordable, juicy fruit and veggie options plus more physical activity, that is not nearly enough to offset the extra calories that come with all the extra social occasions that pop up.

We have to have a plan to make this summer go well and still enjoy the fun without overdoing the points.  For starters, when possible, eat as well as you can when you are at home.  Make your meals by taking a short-cut from the grocery store, the salad bar and deli.  Bring fruit and cut up veggies for snacks whenever you go out.  They are hydrating and easy.  Bring lunch to work so that you can avoid running around for extra dollars and calories.  You need to save yourself for bigger treats when you are socializing on your own leisure time.  If possible, when you go to a party, bring your own food to add to the grill or a healthy green salad that you can fill up on--and even a big watermelon. 

These are a few tips I have for making the summer splurges more manageable.  The whole point of this is to have fun and enjoy.  It will be NO fun and NO enjoyment if you spend the summer getting squeezed out of your shorts and feeling uncomfortable or frustrated. Make time to take care of yourself so that you are planning to succeed at parties, picnics all summer long.  That's a win win in the sunshine.

Add Up Your Grateful Moments to be Happier

Last week when I was at my YogaFit Mind Body Conference, I attended a two-day certification about the Psychology of Positivity.  A lot of what I learned I have written about before.  A few things did make me curious.  Firtstly, when people choose to be positive and focus on the good instead of the bad, they actually become healthier. This makes sense to me because this means we are resilient, i.e. we can handle the bows and arrows that life slings without getting hurt.  We can rebound from setbacks.  We do not become embroiled in dark thoughts and the stress that creates.  Stress makes us crave junk food, retain belly fat, sleep poorly, etc.  It also impacts the immune system so that we get sick more easily.

On the other hand, when we train our mind--which we are all capable of--to focus on the good things that are abounding, we create a new pathway in our brain that starts to naturally look for more positive things.  When we go a step further and not only observe the positive things but actually tally the things we are grateful for, we deepen this groove in the brain and amplify the good feelings in the body.  We then naturally expect more good things to come along.  We can let go of life's minor setbacks because we see them as bumps in the road not sink holes.

The other thing I heard in my training was that life is messy, so much so that we should expect it to be messy and let go of the unrealistic expectations that life should be smooth sailing.  This is especially important in weight loss pursuits.  The path to a healthy weight loss and weight maintenance is full of plenty of jagged edges, frustrations, setbacks and recoveries (resilience).  It's just like life.  This means that when "bad" things happen--we can say "oh well," and acknowledge what it is--but not dwell on it--and then let it go.  No one's life is all good all the time OR all bad all the time.  Just like feelings which are always shifting, so too are our circumstances.

This week, to increase your happiness and positivity and good health, consider identifying three good things that you are grateful for.  You might write them in a notebook.  You might remember them and share them.  You might relive the good feelings that come with identifying these things.  This is the brain work we do to help us pursue our goals more easily.  When we are happier, we want more for ourselves.  We expect more for ourselves.   We keep going.