Manage Emotional Eating: Flee or Fight

Everyone has the potential to be an emotional eater because everyone experiences stress in their lives, and everyone has to eat in good times and bad and everything in between.  Babies are stressed when they are hungry or thirsty, tired or wet.  Little children are stressed when they are asked to be still when their bodies just want to move.  Teenagers of today are stressed by technology coming at them, etc. etc. 

When the body experiences stress--a perceived threat, like anxiety or pressure of expectations or worry over job security, health, family, etc., the adrenal glands secrete adrenaline and cortisol.  These stress hormones helped our ancient ancestors to survive.  Their stress was fear for their lives--mortal danger.  They responded by fleeing the perceived threat or fighting it.  The very last resort was to freeze in place.  After the fleeing or fighting, their bodies were depleted of calories.  They needed calories to survive.  So they replaced those calories they burned. 

My dog, Pippa, doesn't like fireworks.  The loud noise, the repetition tell her to escape the perceived threat, i.e. flee.  Fourth of July is the prime time for dogs to get lost because of this very reason.  Because we keep Pippa inside and safe, and although she still can hear the booms of fireworks, she is frozen in place with her stress.  Her body responds to this by shaking it off.  She trembles.  This is helping her release the nasty cortisol and adrenaline that is building up in her body.  This shaking is helping.

As for human beings, our bodies still respond to stress the way our ancestors' bodies did even though we are not living in fear for our lives.  Our body doesn't know this, so it ramps up the cortisol and adrenaline in preparation for a flight or a fight.  This is a physical problem because excess cortisol and adrenaline suppress the immune system and lead to disease to say nothing of emotional eating.  Ninety percent of doctor's visits are stress related.  While our problems are different than our ancestors, our physical response in the body is the same.   Our desire to replace calories is the same as well. 

For this reason, I suggest that we practice a modern day version of fleeing (taking a walk) or fighting (vigorous exercise).  By responding to emotional situations with a physical response, we can dump that nasty cortisol and adrenaline.  We can "shake it off" so to speak.  This doesn't mean our problems disappear.  This means that the way we deal with them shifts.  A simple five minute walk (fleeing) away from a problem at work or home might be just what's needed to get some relief.  By doing something as simple as this, we transform negative into positive.  A life skill to be sure.

If walking away or moving vigorously or even shaking is not an option, then meditative breathing is the way to go.  By breathing in deeply through the nose and out through the nose or mouth, we signal to the body that we are NOT ramping up, but we are slowing DOWN.  We are telling our body to relax.  We are training our mind to let go.  We are creating a physical response.

Living fully means that we will have a vast array of experiences.  We care about our health, our families, our jobs, our communities, our hobbies, etc.  We feel a broad spectrum of emotions.  They don't even have to make sense.  Emotions are legitimate because they exist.  It is precisely these emotions that can create stress for our hearts, minds and bodies.  In the technology age, we live so much in our heads, but that is not helping.  We benefit by working with the body to create more balance, stress relief and calm. 

Set Yourself Up to Succeed: Skinny Kitchen Makeover

Who doesn't like clean kitchen counters, free from snail mail, power cords, backpacks, etc.?  It is a breath of fresh air for me to walk into my kitchen and see that dirty dishes have made their way to the dishwasher, the refrigerator is full of healthy, ready to eat options, and that the pantry is organized.  Two opposing but complementary forces are at work here.  First, I have to get the junky food out of my house.  If it is not possible to remove all of the junky food that other family members desire, then at the very least, I have to relocate "red light" foods to harder to reach places.  Second, I have to do some meal planning and grocery shopping so that I can welcome the good foods into the house.  And finally, I have to keep this routine going:  removing trigger foods and gathering healthier options.   

Whew!  That can feel like a lot of work.  I call it the skinny kitchen makeover.  It can happen in the cupboard, refrigerator, freezer or pantry.  Wherever there is food stored, it makes sense to keep it organized.  If you see the healthier option prepped and ready to go--you might be more likely to choose it.  If the unhealthy option isn't even there, it will be that much harder to get to it. 

This all makes logical sense, but this work is not happening unless the mindset is set up for success.  We benefit from losing just as much weight in our mind as we do in our body.  Now is the time to return to basics and reconnect with what works.  Measuring, weighing, counting and tracking works.  It creates mindful eating.  Seeking out any of the 200 zero-point foods and building meals around them works.  It is filling and satisfying.  It keeps the daily point count down.  Removing distractions that keep meals calmer works.  Electronics, a rushed schedule, eating at the counter while standing up do not create satiety.  If you aren't feeling satisfied, you may keep eating even if your stomach is really full.  Leaving the kitchen when meals are finished and works.  If you hang out too long where the food is kept, you might start eating again or might start snacking just because someone else is.  (I have never bought a house with a kitchen and family room together because of this very reason.)

Your physical space matters.  It is either helpful or hurtful in your healthy lifestyle.  Take a moment to observe your kitchen with a critical eye.  Do you have a food scale or measuring cups/spoons always available?  Do you know the point values of everything there?  You might consider scanning everything you have and writing the value on the package with a big black sharpie.  That way, you will always know what you are choosing.  Do you have staples ready and waiting for you in case of emergency?   A good dinner might be stored in your freezer or easily pulled together with some basics in cans.

It is a lifelong pursuit to take good care of yourself.  What you eat and what you choose not to eat is significant to your health and longevity.  This is something you can control.  Set yourself up to succeed.  You are worth it.

The Universe Says Yes

I was attending a QiGong teacher training this past weekend, and one of the teachers was talking about presenting classes and finding new students and starting a qigong business.  She said, "just imagine--the universe says yes."  I loved that idea, because it is so much more helpful to focus on things going well and turning out as opposed to fearing resistance and failure. 

Yet, how often are we trapped in negative, unhelpful thoughts that seem to become reality?  I know I am guilty of this.  Just this week, I went to my OrangeTheory Fitness workout, and the trainer said that is was "strength" day.  That means we are running hills on the treadmill.  I don't like running hills, and I dislike strength day a lot.  I heard a fearful voice in my head say--I can't do this.  Then I realized immediately that my body was eavesdropping on my mind.  I knocked it off right then and there.  I turned it around and just ran the hills.  The universe says yes.

This week, the weather turned just a bit in Minnesota.  Jackets are coming out, and the temps are dipping a little. The leaves are turning on some trees, and it feels like a change is coming.  In times of transition, it can be helpful to look back and see where we were, to learn from experience--as we look forward to see where we are going.  Looking back over the summer, we can consider what the universe said yes to?  A vacation, more fun times, longer days, more light--the universe said yes to all of those things.  Now, let's also consider what might have gotten in the way? 

Now, let's plan on the universe saying yes to what we'd really like to have.  We too change with the seasons.  We are organic material.  We feel differently.  We eat differently.  We sleep differently.  We are not the same this fall as we were all summer.  That keeps life interesting.  With that in mind--what will we expect and plan--for the universe to say yes to? 

The power of your mind to control your body and your life cannot be underestimated.  Shedding fattening thoughts is just as much a part of the journey of a healthy, long life as shedding pounds and decreasing in inches. 

Expect this journey to go well. 
Expect this journey to change from moment to moment. 
Expect this journey to take you places where you will meet demons and earth angels. 
Expect this journey to be worthwhile and worthy of you. 

Expect the universe to say yes.

Make Life Easier

Life is a balancing act that changes from moment to moment.  Sometimes we find ourselves overwhelmed by family demands.  Other times we find ourselves overwhelmed by deadlines and work stress.  And then there are times when we have work, home, emotions, sick pets, bad news and an empty refrigerator to contend with.  Through it all, we still need to sleep and eat.

One way to make life feel easier and more in control is to take care of the obvious requirements in advance; that is to say, plan ahead more regularly so that nourishing, satisfying meals are ready and waiting for you.  To make matters easier, you don't even have to do the work yourself.  You might simply download a meal plan, recipes and a grocery list from websites.  You might have meals delivered.  You might have meal ingredients delivered and then cook them later.  You might take all the help you can find at the grocery store and stock pre-chopped onions, diced cauliflower, salad bar ingredients to make salads interesting throughout the week and pair that with a rotisserie chicken.  It doesn't matter how you source nourishing meals, it just matters that it happens. 

The more stress you are under, the more balance you might need from stress-relieving activities.  The last thing you need is another thing to worry over or be frustrated by.  Knowing that you have some version of a plan, a frozen meal or a crockpot waiting for you may be the best part of a long day.   After all, you have to eat. 

It is an illusion for many of us to think there exists a perfect work/life balance.  I have come to believe that balance means that no single part of my life overwhelms any other single part of my life.  Sometimes I work more than others.  Sometimes I relax more than other times.  Some days I feel more stress than others.  Some days I feel more at ease than others.  No matter what, however, I want to and need to practice self care.  Healthy food, ready and waiting, is always part of that equation.

With the end of summer upon us, the fall signals a transition to something new.  Now is a great time to create a new habit of caring enough about yourself that you plan ahead for good things to happen.  Your taste buds will be happy.  Your stomach will be satisfied.  Your mind will be at ease because you have thought ahead.  That would certainly make life easier.

Be Grateful in the Moment: It's Good for Your Health

When I took my Level 1 YogaFit training four years ago, the instructor wore a shirt that said "Gratitude" on it.  I didn't understand at the time what gratitude had to do with yoga.  Then, when I went to my next yoga training at a big conference, everyone was asked to wear their "Gratitude" shirts on the last day.  Things started sinking in.  In yoga practice, we focus so much on letting go of competition with ourselves, the last time we were on the mat, our neighbor.  We let go of the past and don't attach to the future.  By doing so, we stay grounded in the present and can accept whatever the body/mind has to offer on that day, during that practice without judging or expectation.  Easier said than done.  The mind likes to attach, judge, wander, draw conclusions, rehash the past and worry over the future.  None of this brings happiness; all of this brings us out of the present. 

The same thinking holds true off the yoga mat.  We live in fast paced times, where too much technology and stimulation are coming at the brain.  The brain is not equipped to handle this much overload.  It becomes too stressful.  Intentionally slowing down long enough to take a look around and appreciate what is happening is more important than ever.  This can be simple, like finding rock star parking by the front door, or something bigger, like getting a compliment from a stranger, or maybe even a greater moment like realizing you made a difference in someone's day--any and all of this brings more joy to everyday living.

Our grandparents and parents may not have had as many distractions competing for their attention.  They spent more time outside.  They led more physically active lives.  They walked more just because their lives were set up that way.  They spent more time at the table for meals and talked to their family members.  This allowed them to process experiences in "real time" not hyper-charged technology time.  I know everything wasn't perfect like a Walton's episode.  But, none of us will ever get back all the time wasted on technology that sucked us in and gave us nothing in return. 

You may benefit from spending a few minutes every day identifying three good things.  It doesn't matter how small or how big they are.  Maybe you do this on the way home from work.  In the car, no music or phone or distraction.  Just think of three things that you are grateful for and notice how it made you feel at the time it happened--and how it makes you feel in the moment as you remember.  That's it.  Easy homework.  You might start recalling more detail about the three good things--like who was there--what was going on around you.  You might start looking for three good things every day in anticipation of answering these questions at the end of the day. 

By getting in the habit of being grateful for what you have, you become more present in your day.
By being present in your day, you become less stressed. 
By becoming less stressed, you save your good energy for where you really need it. 
That is a zero-point recipe for good health. 

Keep Going: Make it a Habit

When it comes to making healthy food choices more often, it is a mixed bag.  We eat for health reasons--more fiber, good protein, fruits and veggies.  We eat for hunger--more protein, volume, lots of chewing.  We eat for pleasure's sake--molten chocolate cake anyone?  We eat to connect with our family heritage and traditions--holiday food or reunion specialties.  We also eat for reasons that don't serve us--mindless or emotional eating like buckets of popcorn at the movie theater or trick or treating at work with candy dishes everywhere. 

Getting in the habit of making mindful eating choices is a practice we can adopt, but that doesn't mean we won't ever return to our former habits.  Stress gets in the way every single time.  We then revert to autopilot, which is where our former habits have been sleeping.  

This cycle of on again/off again is a reminder that there does not need to be a starting point or a stopping point necessarily.  In fact, we can choose to keep going the very moment we realize we are not doing what we'd like to be doing.  It doesn't mean we have undone all of our good habits.  It doesn't mean we have lost ground.  It just means that we are human.  No judging.    

I think having the courage to keep going no matter how many times we fall off is the humble secret to lasting change.  Punishing yourself for not doing what you wish you were doing is wasting time and eroding positive self esteem.  It makes no sense.  We cannot apply logic to emotion because the head and heart don't speak the same language.  Being smart doesn't stop us from doing things that don't really help.  Think of going to restaurants on an empty stomach and ordering too much food.  Think of running through points on booze on the weekend and having nothing left for food.  If it happened, then let it be done.  Leave it in the past, and decide to do things differently next time.  That's it.  Back to neutral.  That's the new habit we are looking to practice.  

A good life is never done being lived.  Your good life is the one I am referring to.  There is no end to your good health, your supportive relationships, your connections, your hobbies, your belonging.  In the same vein, there is no end to renewing your commitment to living your good life to the best of your ability.  You deserve it.  You want it.  So keep going.

Non Scale Victories and Proud Moments

What would weight loss be like if we only considered ounces or pounds down as a mark of success?  What would the journey feel like if we did everything right but somehow, through no fault of our own, ended up staying the same--or worse--gaining over the course of a week?  It would likely be far more frustrating and defeating than what we'd like. 

Instead, let's consider the fact that there are multiple ways to measure success, improvement, behavior change, attitude adjustment and mindset shift.  By focusing on the many ways we are actually progressing, we remind ourselves that we are not a number.  We are so much more important than a number, which is always wiggling anyway. 

Taking time to regularly reflect on how things are going is a way to stay grounded and aware.  For example, consider what you are buying at the grocery store?  Does your cart look different than it used to?  What are you adding in these days?  What are you trying to leave out?  Now consider what you order in restaurants.  Are you thinking ahead and making decisions before you get there?  Are you splitting entrees or making special requests?  These things may become your new normal, but there was probably another time when things went very differently.

Now, let's consider how we celebrate our victories.  It makes no sense to celebrate good habits with bad ones, but it seems like we often fall into that trap.  Creating new ways to mark proud moments can help redefine our relationship with food.  A special activity, a new workout outfit, a manicure or massage can really mean something more when it marks personal achievement.

As kids, we had report cards to tell us how we were doing.  As adults, we get feedback in other ways.  The scale is but one way to discover how weight loss is going, but it doesn't tell the whole story.  Slowing down long enough and often enough to check in and notice what is changing, what is different and what feels better can be the report we really need to hear.  Acknowledging progress keeps us engaged in the life long journey of self improvement.  That is something to celebrate!