January Blahs?

The month of January in a cold state like Minnesota can literally be mind numbing.  Usually, the temperature is so punishing, and venturing out is so fatiguing that just getting through the frigid day feels like an accomplishment. This year, however, we have been treated to a thaw that makes going outside a whole lot easier.  Now that a lot of the ice has melted and washed away, it is easier to face the day and the elements--except for all the gray skies....

No matter how we look at it, though, the month of January is post-holiday and pre-nothing just yet.  "Spring" is a ways away, and if there was a renewed commitment to health, happiness, work/life balance, weight loss, mindfulness--we can begin to feel a little sloppy.

It pays to have something good to look forward to....whether that is a nice dinner or a winter getaway vacation or a staycation or even a relaxing weekend to indulge in kindness and creature comforts like a massage or even an at-home spa day to lift the spirits.  My spirits were lifted today when a new location of my gym (Orange Theory) hosted free preview classes.  I got to see my friends and even ran into someone I worked with in DC thirty years ago.

This reminds me that we always need encouragement to keep up the good work.  We need that support that says we are doing well, making a good effort, and that we have plenty of reasons to keep going.  Otherwise,
the days, weeks and months all run together and feel the same which is very dull and uninspiring.

So, as the month of January ends, let's consider where we were when we started.  On a post-holiday sugar high?  On a post-holiday unfortunate weight gain?  On a post-holiday shifting mindset?  Wherever you find yourself, take stock and regroup.  We have one week of the January blahs to get through, and then when February rolls in, we can say the word "spring" like it might actually be coming up.  We can start thinking about longer days, a lot more sunlight because the worst of the winter will be behind us.

There is a time and season for everything.  Now is the time to persevere.  To get through.  To choose to emerge victorious.  To shift your mindset to the place where you find yourself at the center of your precious life, doing exactly what it takes, mostly right, most of the time.  That, my friends, is always enough.

Set the Table for How You Want Things to BE

Part of our success as we change behavior and create a healthier lifestyle is setting the stage.  That means we create the environment where we know we can succeed.  When my kids were little, at the beginning of the school year, one teacher sent a note home asking that we create a dedicated homework space in our house for this very purpose.  Knowing what happens and where it happens is part of what keeps us on task.

Consider how far we have come from the mealtimes of our childhood.  At a table, with chairs, no phones or tv or radio or doorbell...command performance--everyone was there.  It was a ritual that created a sense of stability and routine where we all knew what to expect.  In my house it was always:  hand on lap, napkin on lap!  Consider how our mealtimes play out today.  At a barstool or on the couch with internet, tv, music, distraction, interruptability, with the mind wondering to the next thing.  It is not nearly as enjoyable or sustaining.

I am not romanticizing olden times.  I am romanticizing meal times at tables with chairs.  I am saying that knowing when it is time to eat and when it is time NOT to can help us succeed.  If it is not an eating time (or place) then we won't even consider eating there, and that makes it easier to follow the program.  It also prepares us to be hungry for our meals when we do sit down.  We can actually get satisfied with less food if we create a pleasant, slow, thoughtful ritual around it. SmartOnes on your lap won't do.  You are worth so much more than that.

This "throwback" thinking is highly recommended to decrease stress and increase enjoyment.  It is very stressful to gobble food, under pressure, while you are contemplating your next move.  It hinders digestion and makes you feel like you haven't eaten.  In truth, you haven't had a quality experience of eating well.

Here in the U.S., we value speed and efficiency.  This is not the same everywhere.  We have high productivity because of it, but we also are tipping the scales.  We are the world leader in obesity.  I see a connection.

With this in mind, let's consider how you'd like your set mealtimes to be.  Let's consider making it a nice part of your day, not an after thought, especially dinner.  Later in the day, as we run out of points, we run out of energy for the program, and we run out of goodwill.  Let's have a nice dinner to look forward to instead. Comforting foods that satisfy will fill the bill in the winter months.  Let's see if we can get zero point joy out of less food but more satisfaction.

You are worth the time it takes to have nice meals free of distraction.  Set up your life so this gift can be yours every single day.

Set a Manageable Mini Goal Every Week

With "shifting mindset" being the name of the game in 2017, we are gently invited to move gradually towards our pursuits.  One of the kindest ways to think about this is to set a mini goal every week.  That means we take a few moments to consider the upcoming week--how it will go--what we'd like to accomplish--what we'd like to have happen and how will that help.

By doing this, we can keep it real.  If the week ahead at work is full of eating out, limited free time and deadlines, we need to dial down the expectations and contemplate what can happen that really matters? Sometimes that might mean a simple ten minute walk twice a day.  It counts, and it is something, and it just might be the pause that refreshes.

On other occasions, we might have an open schedule with blocks of free time that enable trips to the gym, thoughtful meal planning and prepping and maybe even a nap.  The important thing to remember is that any effort is good effort, when it is moving you in the direction you'd like to be going.   It is providing fulfillment, and it feels worthwhile.

Goals needs to be:  specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely...  that's S M A R T.  Notice there is no beating yourself up in this equation.  There is no negative messaging.  If you truly feel you could do more, then make it your priority to do just that the next time  That's it.

Goals help us create change.  The thrill of a healthy lifestyle comes partly from the fact that we are finally making a change.  We are experiencing increased energy, better sleeping, more comfort in clothes, more confidence, we take more personal risks...that is exciting.  After a while, the "thrill" may be gone in that our healthier lifestyle seems like our new normal.  Goals are the guideposts on this journey.  By continuing to identify at least one improvement every week--one new meal plan or one new exercise class or one new workout outfit or one new meditation tape or one new coffee date with a pal--we can keep it fresh and exciting and ever so manageable.

Your precious life is being lived right here and right now.  How you spend your time, where you put your energy, where you spend your money, what your are interested in and what you are frustrated by--all contribute to your life's enjoyment.  Don't shortchange yourself.  Set the bar high.  Set goals for yourself on a weekly basis so that you can really keep propelling yourself forward.

You can do this.

A Circle

Holiday time is over.  We did it all--from Thanksgiving to the December "Sugar Month" of Christmas, Hanukkah and New Years.  It is time to shift gears and go back to "regular" life.  When I packed up my decorations this year, I also removed from my collection all the things that I no longer want to display or care to store in my basement.  I lightened the load, so to speak.  When I went to my gym, Orange Theory, I heard one trainer joke that chicken breasts and salad sales have gone through the roof all of a sudden.   The magazines and ads at stores are no longer full of ooey gooey party foods and treats but blenders and protein powders and workout clothes.  Apparently and all of a sudden, we are back to business and can flip a switch and turn our backs on everything we engaged in during holiday season.

Unfortunately, we are human beings not robots.  We don't flip switches and change behavior instantly.  Even if we could do that--could it last?  As human beings, we shift our mindset--and in doing so, we can make valuable changes gradually so that we move more gently.  So many people talk about how important a healthy lifestyle is and how much they'd like to be living a healthy lifestyle.  No one I know talks about important it is to radically change behavior, overnight, at the stroke of midnight.  It's not natural or normal.

With that in mind, let's imagine a circle--no starting point and no stopping point.  Let's imagine the curve and gentle, forgiving shape...there's always a place to move to.  Let's consider the next few months in our cold climate.  We know we will be spending more time inside.  I suggest we make our homes as comfortable and cozy as possible--a refuge from the harsh elements.  I also suggest we make our thoughts as comfortable and cozy as possible--a refuge from the harsh messages we so often send ourselves.   By doing this, we can practice a level of kindness and compassion that will naturally lead us to take better care of ourselves.  

You can find yourself at the center of your circle.  You can find yourself surrounded by friends and family and positive helpers who add joy and spark to your life.  You can find yourself moving away from what distracts you from getting what you really want.  You can shift your mindset.

There is no perfect in this circle, but there is abundant room.

Welcome more of what serves you well in 2017.

What Is Worth Keeping and What Is Worth Leaving Behind?

At this time of year, we hear about the highs and lows of the year.  Oftentimes, friends review the past twelve months and pick photos that best depict the high points of the year and make those images the centerpiece of their holiday greeting card.  Others review the year in stories.  They recount trips taken, babies born, experiences like marriages (or divorces), new jobs, etc.  Some years, the news is not so wonderful, in which case, we usually don't want to broadcast those images on any card or facebook post.  In fact, the year I was going through my divorce was the first year in my adult life that I couldn't even bring myself to send Christmas cards.  I was too distracted and upset.

We often have a feeling that when the calendar turns, our life will too.  The truth of the matter is more nuanced.  Life events come to us in waves.  We don't decide to get a new job and then have one the next day.  We don't get a nasty head cold and then get better in minutes.   There is a gradual building up and a gradual letting down.  "Things" take time--their own sweet time.  

As we say goodbye to 2016, we can reflect on what the year brought to our lives and made our lives worth living.  We can think about the people who helped us and made our life feel richer and more meaningful.  We can consider the experiences we had that stretched us.  We can even review the losses we suffered.  It is likely a complex picture.  With a full range of emotions as human beings, of course it is a complex picture.

Now is a good time to consider all that 2016 brought to our lives--and what we would like to expand upon in 2017 and what we'd like to leave behind.  How do you enjoy spending your valuable free time?  Are you fulfilled in your hobbies and activities?  Is there more to learn, or is it time to move on to something else entirely?  What about the people you spend time with?  Are you still benefiting from those connections in a way that matters to you, or is it time to disengage a bit?  What about the state of your health?  Are you happy with what you do to promote and preserve good health and wellbeing?  Are you feeling that this is an area to improve upon?  There is no right or wrong answer, and there is no judgment.  It's up to you how you value and view things.  

So consider your life a precious one.  Consider the run-up to 2017 to be a time of transition to more of what you'd like to invite.   Do not waste your precious life.

Stay Sane

We hear the message so often:  slow down, calm down, take a deep breath, take care of yourself, let it go, you are doing too much... Yet, how often do we really take the good advice and do just that?  During this busy holiday month, we need more frequent breaks, more rest not less and less "clutter" in our brains and on our calendar which all gets in the way of healthy living.

There is no perfect way to do this.  There is no perfect anything when it comes to human beings who are always changing in our feelings, attitudes, energy levels.  So, let me be clear.  Just because we take frequent breaks and breaths does not mean we will be stress-free and blissful.  Instead, what it does mean is that the busy demands of daily life do not have to overwhelm us to the point of frustration or unpleasantness, mindless eating or road rage.

Stress doesn't go away.  It is a wave in our lives that comes in and goes out in varying degrees of intensity throughout the day.  Everything from getting up on a snowy morning to seven inches of snow to shovel to managing job expectations, family demands, finances and relationships and more can create a ripple of stress that energizes the day.   How we look at these things is key.  Keeping perspective is critical.  Being more positive than negative is definitely the path to follow.

What managing stress means is that we are aware of what is going on, deeply aware.  We sense when we are getting overwhelmed with pressure.  Perhaps we can even identify its source.  We are that in touch.  We can then take a pause and consider our options, how to proceed, whom to discuss the problem with, what to do or NOT do.  We can always use our two legs and take a step away from technology.  We can clear our head and walk.  The path to the troubled mind goes straight through the body (in motion) and the intentional breath (in and out through the nose).  After taking a pause that has the potential to refresh, we can regain the composure we need to move on to the next moment.

Our ancestors didn't have technology and stimuli the way we do.  Of course they had other stressors and other worries like survival on their minds.  They led physical lives.  Things that we take for granted, like food and heating, were concerns for them.  They had to deal with the "elements" which kept them grounded to nature--for better or worse.   The information age we live in keeps us hyper-alert and responsive to a device that won't stop talking.  It keeps the active mind "on call," and it produces stress.  We can't ever "turn it off" or tune it out because it is always "on."  That means it is up to us to set the boundaries for how much we want to deal with and when.

Let's be interested observers of ourselves this week.  Let's take a look at how we handle things like waiting in line, weather, difficult people, annoying circumstances at the mall, the evening news.  Are we aware and in touch enough to notice when we need to tune out the external messages and tune into what we really care about?  Can we slow down a little bit to notice?

It is up to us to stay sane.  It's time to practice.

There's Only So Much Room in Your Brain

I was listening to an NPR broadcast this past Saturday.  A neuroscientist from California was doing a study about the brain.  He asked a group of people in one room to remember a certain number given to them. Some people got a two-digit number to memorize and recall.  Other people got a six-digit number to memorize and recall.  No one knew whose number was whose or who got a longer number or not.  Then, each person was asked to leave the room and move to another room down the hall where they'd be asked to recall their number.  Unbeknownst to the participants, they were greeted in the hallway by a person offering a snack of either healthy fruit or chocolate cake.  This is where the work of the study was taking place.  There was an overwhelming choice of fruit by the two-digit people.  The six-digit people were most likely to choose cake.  The scientist determined that when the rational part of the brain is working hard (remembering six digits) it cannot also make additional rational choices such as eat healthy fruit instead of sugary, caloric cake.

We can use this information to our advantage during this busy holiday time with so much temptation all around.  We only have so much "real estate" available in our brains to make decisions.  This reminds me of "decision fatigue."   Yet another study I heard regarding prisoners who were coming up for release.  When researchers compared prisoners who were released and those who were not, they noticed that the prisoners whose cases were reviewed in the afternoon were far more likely NOT to be released--even when they had comparable cases compared to the morning prisoners.  The scientists realized that the review board suffered from "decision fatigue."  After having made so many decisions already, instead of risking the wrong choice, they deferred the cases of the afternoon prisoners.  OUCH.  Clearly, the brain can only handle so much. This can help explain why is is harder to make healthy choices later in the day, like from 3PM - bedtime.

Let's be clear--of course there is a time and place for cake.  Let's not pretend that we would always vote for fruit instead of cake no matter what else we are thinking or what time it is.  However, we do want to set ourselves up for as much success as possible.  By slowing down long enough to consider our choices, we can let go of whatever else might be occupying our thoughts.  We can then benefit from smarter choices. That benefit can bring more personal satisfaction.  That benefit can help us shift our thinking.   That's where lifestyle change begins.