What's Hard? What's Easy? WHY do you Care?

Throughout the day, along the way, we find that some things in life seem hard while some things in life seem easy.  The things we like to do feel a lot easier than the things we don't.  Obviously.  But, let's face it, we have a lot on the "to do" list that is required--things that we might not like and might be hard.

One way to get through the hard stuff is to dig deep first and ask yourself the all-important questions:

WHY?
WHY should I do this?
WHY is this important to me?
IS this still important to me?
WHY do I care?
WHAT do I want?

The answers to these questions makes the work of self improvement make sense.  Losing sight of the WHY, or finding yourself in a position to redefine the WHY is important as time marches on.  Things change.  So do we.  So do our goals.  So do our priorities.  So do our life circumstances.

Sometimes the things that we find hard one week can become easy another week, and visa versa.  It is easy to eat a quick, filling, protein-packed breakfast during the week.  You have to move on with your day.  It becomes a little harder to do that on vacation in a pancake house with butter and bacon everywhere.  It is easy to go out for a long walk with the dog when the weather is pleasant, and it becomes harder when the weather is not.  It is easy to dress for the day when all the clothes in the closet fit.  It is harder to dress for the day when we are frustrated because only a few of the clothes fit.

Let's remember that not living the life of our dreams costs us something.  It may cost us disappointment, sadness, stress, frustration and limited opportunities.  That life feels hard.  The cost of a life well-lived will include sacrifices and effort, no doubt.  It will also come with the priceless gift of freedom.  Freedom that is earned, little by little by redefining what's hard and what's easy and revisiting the many reasons WHY that matters.

Being Mindful With Hidden SmartPoints

There are lots of hidden SmartPoints lurking in juice containers, coffee mugs, cocktail glasses and "pint" beer glasses.  One of the problems is that these SmartPoints go down so easily and are so forgettable.  Our challenge is to right size our beverages the same way we right size our food choices. Of course, that really means down size.

While plates and bowls have gotten so much bigger over the years, drinking glasses have gone the same route.  A can of coke at 12 ounces used to be the norm.  Now, that a 12 ounce can of coke is 9 SmartPoints, we have to reconsider the options and look at coke as a treat--not a beverage that slides down along with a meal.

The same is true with juice and sports drinks.  Juice is a pointy beverage that we need to choose--not just let happen.  As for sports drinks, they are not necessary.  Water will rehydrate just the way it is supposed to.

The coffee shop can be a minefield if we aren't savvy.   Small drinks are called "tall."  If there is anything like cream, whip, half and half and flavor shots, SmartPoints are running down the drain.

When it comes to alcoholic drinks, we need to be informed and make choices before the drinking happens.  Once we are drinking alcohol, our inhibitions may start to evaporate.  We might not make as many healthy choices that we would otherwise.  A big part of our success is to stay focused on what we really want, no matter where we are or what we are doing.  Furthermore, drinks are larger than they used to be.  Technically speaking, there might be two mixed cocktails in that martini glass. A "pint" in a brew pup is actually 20 ounces not 16.  That means more points.  Darker, thicker beers are even more points than lighter (as in color) beers.

So how can we down size our beverages without skipping them altogether?  Practice.  Practice. Practice.  The more we acquaint ourselves with right size portions and the more aware we are of our coffee shop/restaurant/bar behavior, the more likely we can approach these settings with the confidence that we can get what we want--and no more.  Enjoy it.  Be done.  Count SmartPoints wisely.

With summer weather here, be especially savvy.  Oftentimes, we are even more inclined to relax into the casual nature of the season.  Stick to your goals!  Drink lots more water and decide in advance when and where and how much any alcoholic beverages will be consumed.  Then, stick to the plan and enjoy.

It Takes a Village

In the game of life, we know that we are not alone, nor do we want to be alone--especially when tough times come calling.  Even our introverted friends need valuable connections with others to keep them feeling vibrant and part of a bigger picture.  When we start something new, pursue a new venture at work or home, take on a new responsibility or role, we usually ask others who have done this before for their help.  Help can come in the form of advice, personal experience, testimony and sometimes a sounding board.

As we evolve and set the bar higher than it was before regarding weight loss, healthy habits, fitness and fulfillment, we are walking down a path that many have gone down before and many continue to go down.  We will have lots of company to keep us supported and inspired.  There is so much information, advice and how-to's in the world nowadays, that we don't need to look far for a bright idea to try with a new recipe, exercise technique or social group to keep us interested and curious.

But what about the people closest to us?  What about the ones who "should" be supporting us from the very start and all the way through?  Why do those people sometimes seem like saboteurs instead of cheer leaders?  Who knows is the answer to that question.  Unfortunately, even our nearest and dearest do not always "show up" for us the way we'd like them to.  Maybe they don't believe our self improvement efforts are real (this time).  Maybe they are secretly jealous of us.  Maybe they wish they could do things like say NO to chips and salsa on a Mexican vacation or say YES to the gym at 6AM.  Maybe they fear that if we change, then we might be expecting them to change.  Whatever the reason, we know that when we don't get positive feedback from the ones we love, we need to move on to other people for that kind of support.

It does take a village to keep going.  It takes people from all circles who are working on bettering their lives, one day at a time, to keep up the energy and enthusiasm for the work that's involved. Sometimes by seeing a complete stranger with a lot of weight to lose, working out at the gym, inspires me.  I realize that we are all in this together.  No matter where we are in the journey, we all have the same job to do.

Get up every day.
Show up for your life.
Be present and mindful of your behavior.
Make a small change at first and then let that grow into a bigger difference.

The Things that Weigh Us Down

I am just back from a spring break trip to Mexico, and I packed my workout program, my clothes for it, my beachwear and summery clothes.  I had my sunscreen for protection along with a big hat.  I had comfy sandals for long walks after dinner on the "malecon" (boardwalk in Puerto Vallarta).  What I didn't take with me was worry.

This got me thinking about how heavy it is to carry worry--and what that does to my perception of happiness, self satisfaction and wellbeing.  Of course it is easy to be happy on vacation in a sunny spot with the guy you love...when all your creature comforts are met in grand fashion.   The whole point of vacation is to get away from it all, take a break from the routine and busyness of daily life to relax, recharge, renew.  Unfortunately, however, vacation is only one or two times a year.  The rest of my time is spent living my "real life."

This too got me thinking about how important it is for me to "lighten the load" and only carry what I can handle.  I started mulling over the things that weigh me down in daily life.  Worry, anxiety, sleeplessness, expectation, fear, feeling less than...  For a yoga instructor and a health coach, I talk about these things all the time.  They are truly front and center in my mind.  But, I am still finding myself burdened by some of these "weights."

I decided that while there are problems and issues to cope with regarding my family, the world, etc. I am going to make a concerted effort to not worry over them.  It doesn't mean I won't be caring about them, but it does mean that I am consciously unpacking these things so they don't cast a dark shadow over my day, my sense of happiness and wellbeing.  I hope that this will be a gift from this vacation, i.e. the freedom to not be weighed down by excess baggage.

What might be weighing you down more than you think?  Of course, pounds on the scale are the obvious thing.  But, those pounds didn't get there by themselves.  The things we carry, the places we go, the people we deal with are part of those pounds.  I am encouraging us to look a little more deeply at what might be behind heaviness on the scale.  What might be getting in the way of living a lighter, more carefree life?  What might it take to "unpack" some of those things and lighten your load?  One day at a time.

No Judging--Slip Ups are Part of Progress

One of the hardest life lessons is to learn from your "mistakes" and then move on.  So much gets in the way, starting with that little voice in your head that says "you can't do this..."  Negative self talk, criticism, judging and fear are but a few of the stumbling blocks that keep us from propelling ourselves forward.  

We often let unhelpful "tapes" keep playing in our heads when a momentary setback occurs.  Those unhelpful tapes make it harder not easier to move on.  Some say that evolution is to blame. Expecting something bad to happen was part of survival.  It meant that you had to be in a heightened state of awareness so that you could protect yourself from attackers.  We need to resist that urge to go negative by reinforcing the positive.  By doing so, we are gently embracing the good that we anticipate.  We gather the courage to keep going even though we were temporarily off track.

To complicate matters, oftentimes, our expectations are unrealistic when lifestyle change is at hand. We think that because we decided to "get healthy" that we will be as enthusiastic and driven as we were the day we began the life changing journey.  Not so.  The path to success is full of pock marks, stop signs and rerouting. That's normal, and it is to be expected.  By expecting momentary setbacks, we can get better at recognizing them for what they are, i.e. temporary and not the end of the road.

Another unhelpful tape that often plays when we are frustrated is one of judgment.  "I'm not good at this... I can't do this...  I should just give up...  This is going to kill me..."  None of this is helping. It is also setting your sights too low.  Things might not be going well for the moment, but that has nothing to do with how things might go once you regroup and move on.  Maybe the plan you had in place was too restrictive.  Maybe the exercise schedule you put in place was too demanding.  Maybe life got in the way of your good intentions.  Whatever the reason, the behavior change is the same.  Move forward.  No judging.    

We can often treat others better than we treat ourselves.  If a friend who was having a hard time losing weight or engaging in an exercise routine, and was falling apart, we wouldn't berate them and tell them that they will always be a failure.  Hopefully, we would listen to them, encourage them and do our best to talk them out of quitting on themselves.  If we can do it for others, we need to do it for ourselves as well.

Your life is made up of what you CAN do, not what you cannot do.  Your life is made up of the experiences you choose to have not the ones you try to avoid.  Yes, the dark side is always there, but that's not the focus and not the greater part of who you are today or who you wish to become tomorrow and the next day after.  

Time Your Eating Success at Regular Intervals

Progress is not a linear pursuit.  We take one step forward and sometimes two steps back.  No matter what however, we keep going.  One of the best ways to make sure we can keep going is to manage expectations, set small realistic goals, celebrate milestones and then take a moment to take stock before moving along to the next thing.  This works with managing the day's meals, the week at work, a vacation, or a major project at home.  We are human.  We can only handle so much at a time.  By being realistic and giving ourselves mini breaks, we can actually go further than if we tried to do too much too soon.

This philosophy works with eating as well.  By planning healthy meals and snacks that we can look forward to, we can plan our nutrition and enjoyment to match the rigors or pleasures of the day.  For example, if you are going to be outside digging up the yard, clearing out winter debris for hours on end, a good breakfast of protein and carbs will go far in keeping you fueled for the heavy lifting.  A break with lots of hydration and maybe a piece of fruit and string cheese can keep you going until lunch time.

Meals and nutritious snacks are fuel to keep the body going, to keep the metabolism roaring and to keep us from getting too hungry.  Treats are different.  These are the foods and maybe beverages that we enjoy just because we do.  We don't need a reason.  It's not about physical hunger or thirst, but we want to have these pleasures because they too are part of our success, i.e. practicing how to manage the extras without going overboard.

Eating at regular intervals gives us pause to regroup.  It gives us stamina to keep going.  It gives us something to look forward to.  It satisfies our primal urge to chew.  We are never more than three hours away from something to eat.  What a relief!

Seasons Change and So Do You

Spring is coming up early by Minnesota standards.  With warmer temperatures and sunnier days and with the clocks moving forward one hour this weekend, a new season is coming up quickly.  It begs the question...are you ready?  Are you where you thought you'd be several months ago in the dead of winter when lots of people were making resolutions for 2016? 

Lifestyle changes are not resolutions.  They are goals, short-term and long-term, that define who it is we would like to be--they challenge us as we are changing and evolving.  Lifestyle changes are also a work of practice not perfection.  There are victories along the way and momentary stops in between. One thing is certain, however, time marches on whether we are actually making the changes we'd like or not.

This past week, I heard someone talk about being a "fake WW member."  She said that she attends meetings but doesn't really do the work of the program.  Her life is too overwhelming on all fronts to cope with anything.  I challenged her to do one thing, no matter how small, to focus on for the week. She didn't want to do that.  I kept pushing, and she named a behavior change but wasn't happy about it.  As it turns out, that one thing brought with it a raft of improvements.  Simply by starting where she was, an unhappy place and by answering the call to just start over, she did.  

Transformation doesn't come easily to most of us.  We have to ask things of ourselves that we haven't asked before.  We have to keep going even when we don't feel like it.  We have to be stronger than our strongest excuse (Kevynn).  But, it is precisely in those dark moments of discomfort and fear, that we become the change we were searching for all along.  

As March ushers in a new season, ask yourself if you are ready to make a change?  Are you where you want to be with the changes you have made?  Is there more for you?  And then, live your dream. One day at a time will turn into weeks at a time, months at a time, seasons at a time and years at a time.  Your dream come true.  Thanks to you.