Too much birthday cake. Too many chips on the sofa after work and before dinner, in front of tv. Too many drinks at the annual holiday party. Too many trips to the candy dish at work on a stressful day. What do all these scenarios have in common? Too much food and drink in a moment when we get tangled in emotion instead of intention.
This is the common story of mindless eating vs. conscious eating. Everyone does it. Everyone is an emotional eater. In fact, we are all encouraged to respond to life's events with food and sometimes drink. From birthdays to funerals, food is attached to life's milestones. For many of us, food is also attached to normal, human emotions like frustration, boredom, upset, anxiety, depression and stress. There is nothing wrong with our feelings. Because we are human, we have feelings. However, in our society, certain feelings seem more acceptable than others. It's almost always ok to respond to: "How is it going?" with "Great!" It would be troubling for most people to hear: "Not at all good, undergoing exploratory stomach surgery, spouse lost job, baby has colic, and the police are on speed dial." This is part of the problem. When we do feel the darker side of our personality, not everyone is equipped to handle it, starting with ourselves. However, by accepting the fact that we are not going to live in a steady state of greatness, we can normalize these emotions and then respond to these emotions with positive intention as opposed to mindless reaction.
For weight loss and weight maintenance purposes, we need to recognize those situations from the past when eating became automatic, overindulgent and full of fat, carbs and sugar. What was it that came before the mindless eating? What were the circumstances that conspired? Who might have been involved? Was there a particular time of day or week that brought on the stress overload? By identifying those challenges from past experiences, we can prepare for the future. We can look at similar situations and recognize that we need something more than food or drinks to cope with feelings. We need some other non-food reward to help us in these critical moments.
I talk about the "ME TANK." It needs to be filled on a daily basis with the good stuff, the stuff that makes us happy about who we are. Exercise, meditation, reading, writing, being outside in nature, talking to friends, recognition, sharing experiences, planning social outings, taking a nap, tending to pets...these are some of the things we can use to fill the "ME TANK." If we don't fill it with the good stuff, we fill it with the junky stuff, and then we inevitably regret it. Topping off mindless eating with guilt produces shame and frustration. More emotion that brings on upset.
Let's avoid all of that. Let's start filling up the ME TANK with ME TIME. Let's make sure we set ourselves up to succeed by planning breaks. We deserve them. We are not robots. Let's plan on fun ME TIME so that work, family responsibilities, stress and worry don't trap us and keep us from living this precious life as the best version of ourselves. If the ME TIME is on the calendar, then the positive intention will magnify. Then handling our emotions more calmly will enter in. Then we can put food in its rightful place. Nutrition and fuel for the body 90% of the time. Pleasure, of course, 10% of the time.
I know we can all get better at this. We aren't giving up our emotions or feelings things deeply and sensitively. Not even close. What we are giving up is responding to emotion by overeating. That's a habit well worth breaking. In fact, the time is now to get started.
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