CHANGE COMES FROM A DARK PLACE

This week I had an interesting question from a Weight Watchers member.  On one hand, she was happy that she had lost 25 pounds.  On the other hand, she was not where she really wanted to be--25 more pounds down.  She had reflected on the fact that she made sacrifices, behavioral changes and created a new lifestyle.  She was conflicted about this as well.  Was this good enough?

This made me think about what spurs us to make a change in the first place:  something uncomfortable.  That something uncomfortable, sad, frustrating, depressing, upsetting--that forces us out of our comfort zone and into the unknown is usually strong enough to take action.  It's a long time in coming, however, for most of us.

There are several stages of change.  They begin with denial, i.e. I don't have a problem.  This can be about anything from a poor credit rating to weight to cleanliness to punctuality.  Then comes the next stage: awareness.  Maybe, I do have a problem, but I am not sure what to do or where to go or how to solve it.  I can acknowledge the issue, but that's it.  Then comes ambivalence.  I need to make a change, and I am considering my options, but I really don't want to act on them just yet.  Then, finally after some period of time, I can reach the action stage, i.e. actually making a change.  I am going to a financial counselor to clear up credit card debt.  I am joining a health club.  I am going to Weight Watchers and signing up tomorrow at 10AM.

We can all return to ambivalence, but we cannot return to denial.  This member I mentioned above was in the ambivalence stage of change.  She was satisfied with the progress so far, and she was contemplating whether it was good enough.  No one can say for sure but her.

Let's be sure that we don't sell ourselves short.  Living our best life is not about doing things only a little bit right some of the time; it is about doing a lot of things right a lot of the time.  "Living the dream" whether it is vacation at Disney with grandchildren or weighing what you did on your wedding takes time, effort, energy and commitment.   I have to mention patience, attention, sacrifice, forgiveness.  Any other virtues?  It's not a one-time proposition.  It's a life long pursuit.  The good news is that the rewards that come with making dreams come true, fully true, is that the hard work, time, effort and energy have paid off, and we know it.  We feel it.  We look it.  We act it.  We are 100% satisfied with our results.  We are not 50% satisfied.

There is no perfection in this game of life.  We are human, and it's not possible to give 100% to everything we do.  It's not even required.  But, when it comes to our heart's desire, we don't ever want to stop short of the best life we can live.  It doesn't look lovely all the time, but it does look intentional most of the time.

Stopping at the half way point to take a break and reflect, yes, by all means that is a good idea.  Taking stock of accomplishment, success, effort and all the other virtues involved is a nice place to be, for a while.  Then, it's time to get back on the road, the life long pursuit of a lifetime of intentional, balanced, healthy, active living.

At the end of my yoga classes, I always read a quote from a book called "NOW IS THE TIME."  I also gently rest my hands on each student's shoulders and whisper an affirmation to them during the final resting pose of the class.  Tonight, I said "you are stronger than you know."  I believe this is true.  We all need to be reminded.  We are all stronger than we realize.  We will never know how strong we are until we rise up to the challenges that confront us.  NOW IS THE TIME to do just that.