TURN YOUR ATTITUDE AROUND ALL THE TIME

I once heard that "attitude determines altitude" which means that you can go as far as you wish--as long as you maintain a positive outlook.  We know that 50% of our happiness comes from our genes and our family upbringing.  Ten percent of our happiness is determined by our circumstances.  Forty percent of our happiness comes from our choice--to be or not.

There are so many things that can happen in the course of a day.  From getting up feeling rested or not-- to the weather we see-- to the breakfast options-- to the commute to work-- to the mood in the workplace...etc. etc. etc.  There are so many points along the way where we can choose to go with the flow and stay positive or get stuck in the unexpected, normal setbacks that happen all the time to everyone.

The good news is that emotions are always shifting.  We cannot live in a constant state of ultimate bliss, nor can we exist in a state of misery and gloom every minute.  As human beings, we are capable of a wide range of emotions, and we are capable of shifting our mindset to choose to be more positive, no matter what is happening.

This is such a critical point to remember during the weight loss process.  Our attitude, mood, feelings and emotions determine how much we are willing to do.  In fact, our attitude does determine our altitude. Cultivating resiliency is but one step in the right direction.  We can choose to "go with the flow."  It will make our lives feel less stressful.  There will be less punishing, less judging and less feeling stuck.  This will also contribute to a more positive outlook.  We can choose to keep going.  It's healthy for our bodies and our minds.

Learning from our mistakes makes sense.  Dwelling on them does not.  As soon as you realize you aren't where you'd like to be, then choose to shift gears.  Shift your mindset too.  You can make small changes.  You can live a happier, fuller life, because you choose it--you want it--and you deserve it.

Spring is the season of awakening... new growth... more activity... more sunlight.  Let's shift along with the seasons.  Let's turn our attitude around so that we see more positive than negative and more perspective than doom and gloom.  Let's get what we really want, one moment at a time.

It is Always Today

When I was leaving for vacation last week, I was picked up by the Uber driver in the dark at 5AM--and after four hours of sleep with my eyes half closed, I said, "It feels like yesterday."  He said, "No, it is always today."  Profound words to live by.  When I was at a yoga training a few weeks ago, we had to read a book called "The Power of Now" for a discussion about mindfulness--which means staying grounded in the present without judging.  I am sensing a recurring theme here, because the weekly topic at Weight Watchers is about starting over and turning things around which is something we can only do in the present.

Yesterday is history.  Tomorrow is a mystery promised to no one.  Today, the present, is the gift.  We can never go back and undo our damage.  We can never go back and unsay our hurtful words.  We can never go back to yesterday and replay it.  In the same way, we can never leap into the future.  Time travel is only in books of fiction.  All we can do is operate in the present moment.  Whew, because this is a big relief to realize I can only do the work that is directly in front of me.  No more and no less and no judging.

One of the reasons many of us give up on our goals or lose sight of the "big picture" is that we stay stuck in the past and feel doomed by it.  Not so.  Just because we may have made some mistakes and choices we would rather have not does not mean that in the present moment we can't make better choices and be proud of our decisions.  It is always today.  Ta-da!  Today I can choose to do something entirely different.  I can eat fruit for snacks and pack vegetables.  I can shop the salad bar for all my favorite salad toppings and create great salads at home with my bags of lettuce.  I can choose to stay focused on only the work directly in front of me.

No, we don't pretend the past didn't happen.  Let's learn from it.  Let's understand it.  Let's move on from it. Yes, we can plan for good things in the future, but we live in the present.  So, I can't eat my healthy meals for tomorrow today, but I can have a stocked fridge with healthy options.  I can only operate in the present time--that is today.

It can be a relief to know that we don't have to deal with anything more than what we have today.  It breaks our work down into manageable pieces.  It breaks our stress down so we don't become overwhelmed. Anxiety is about borrowing worry that may never occur.  That's stressful, and stress is fattening.

What do you have to do today?  What do you have to let go of from yesterday to move on?  Let it be enough.

How Gratitude and Mindfulness are Weight Loss Tools

Three years ago I started my yoga certification journey.  This has involved lots of expensive training, self study and reflection.  At my first Level 1 Training, the instructor wore a yoga shirt that said "gratitude" on it.  I had no idea how yoga and gratitude were connected?  I was too new to even ask.  Then, a few months later, I went to my Level 2 training and conference where the yoga boutique sold "gratitude" t shirts.  Again, I was wondering--what's the deal?  Wherein lies the connection between yoga and gratitude?

At this point, several years later, I am happy to report that I figured it out.  When people are grateful, they are NOT JUDGING.  They are living in the moment, slowing down long enough to pay attention to what IS and WHAT IS POSITIVE and not focusing even one minute on what is not.  Oprah likes to find three things every day to be grateful for.  She's OPRAH!  Aren't these things obvious to her?  Apparently not. Sometimes, she says she scrapes the bottom of the barrel and is grateful for her eyebrows.  You get the picture.

This brings us to mindfulness.  The buzz word of today.  When people are grounded in the present moment, they are mindful.  They pay attention to what is with NO JUDGING.  There it is.  These two practices are linked directly.  For example, when I focus my senses on what is going on today, I notice the color of the sky, the feel of the cold or warmth or breeze on my skin.  I smell my coffee and taste my food slowly.  I hear things--songs, words or happy dogs barking at the mail person.

How many times over twelve years have I weighed someone who is disappointed in their progress.  I say--you are down ,6.  They say--that's it?  Really?  It should be more--I went to the gym.  I sacrificed.  I did my part.  They are not satisfied with what is, because they are comparing it to something that isn't.  No gratitude there--no mindfulness and plenty of judging and comparing.

We know that judging ourselves and others doesn't lead to happiness  It leads to jealousy and frustration. That is fattening and self sabotaging.  This week, let's stay grounded in the moment as it unfolds.  No rehashing the past and no inviting anxiety about the future.  Pay attention to what is right in front of you.  Pay attention to your feelings, your thoughts, how your body feels.  Notice nature and weather and your yard. Stay grounded in what's real and not technology.  Natural elements are destressing.  Man-made elements are not nearly as calming.  Think of a majestic mountain...now think of a skyscraper.  Think of walking by the majestic mountain.  Think of taking the elevator in the skyscraper.  It's a wholeheartedly disparate feeling.

Believe it or not, one day you may look back and wish you could do today over again.  You may one day wish you appreciated what you had when you had it because life has presented you with even more challenges.

Let's not waste what goodness we have.  Let's slow down long enough to be glad that this day--is the one we have--let's appreciate it in our thoughts and actions.  It will bring happiness.  And if we feel happy, we do better.  Get on the train.

We Help Each Other

We are all part of something greater than ourselves.  We are born into a family with parents, siblings and relatives.   We live alongside a collection of neighbors.  We participate in faith communities.  We go to places where people who feel the way we do, go as well.  When we have problems, we seek the counsel of others to help us along.

On the path to self improvement, we need a like-minded community to cheer us on when we are doing well and to remind us that we can succeed when we are not.  We need to hear the voice of reason from those who understand exactly what it feels like.  We need the camaraderie and the friendship, the understanding and forgiveness that comes from a shared experience.  You don't have to be an extrovert to feel this way. Introverts benefit from power of the group as well.

When it comes to weight loss, we make many of our decisions alone.  With 200 choices per day to make about food it grows tiresome.  This is why we need the group to keep us going.  We need to normalize our experiences and appreciate the fact that everyone trying to make better choices does not automatically make better choices.  It takes a lot of practice and a desire to keep moving no matter what happens.  It's emotional.

More research is coming out about how important our feelings are when it comes to weight loss.  First we think, then we feel, then we do.  When we keep our thoughts to ourselves, we believe they are true even if they make no sense.  We automatically act on that assumption.  However, by sharing experiences and ideas, we can separate fact from fiction and improve behavior.

No single person is an island.  It would be too lonely.  The next time you feel you need more support or help or advice or just an airing out of your ideas, share them with someone you trust.  Get them out in the open and off your back.  If you are doing well, kudos.  If you are not doing as well as you'd like, then let a friend remind you that you are stronger than you may know.

We never outgrow our need for a pat on the back--a friendly smile from someone who is glad to see us--or a reality check.  This helps us keep going, stay focused and on track.

You deserve a great life.  You deserve to weigh what you want.  You deserve to be happy and healthy.  Start right now.

NOW--- What?

I just returned from five intense days of yoga training in Chicago.  These are very long days of body and mind work with a hotel ballroom full of like-minded yogis who have been teaching, studying and training for years as well.

One of the topics we covered was the power of "NOW."  It's common to hear expressions like--live in the moment, take a deep breath, let go, be here now.  However, it is very uncommon to actually practice this. We are hardwired to review the past or jump into the future.  The problem is that we are NOT living in the present.  The present is all we have.  The past is over, so we benefit from training the brain to leave it there. The future and anxiety and worry may never even occur, so we benefit from leaving it there.  Then, and only then, can we look at where we are with clear eyes and stay focused in the moment.

This may sound very "out there," but the practical application of living in the moment is enormously worthwhile.  Concerning ourselves with what is actually happening now calms us down.  This is a form of active stress reduction.  What is the next right thing, in front of me, at this moment?  Regarding self improvement and weight loss in particular, this is also a relief.  I can't do everything (exercise at 5AM every day, look like I did when I was 20...).  I can't undo the things from my past that I now regret (ate or drank too much, skipped the gym, indulged in office trick/treat).  Enough!  Stay focused on what can be done.  The next right thing.

Behold the power of "NOW."  That's all you have.

The past is history.  Leave it behind.
The future is a mystery.  Leave it there.
The present is the gift--that is what is real, what is grounding and what matters.

Body and Mind

First we think something--like today is going to be good, and then we act on that feeling.  What floats around in our mind is of critical importance because it tells us how we feel and then determines how we behave.  For example, today I woke up and thought--I have a lot to do to get ready to leave town.  Then my body went down to find my suitcase and yoga gear.  Sometimes, however, our body "speaks" first.  Let's say you wake up with a very sore throat.  The first thing you mind latches onto is your sore throat.  You then conclude that you might be getting sick--and you start looking for the cough drops and cold medicine.

The mind is weightless and invisible.  We cannot take a photograph of it, but we know it is there.  It is always at work.  It has a voice--mostly our own that speaks all the time.  It also can repeat the voices from old tapes we may have heard long ago.  In contrast, the body weighs.  We can take a photograph of it.  It takes up physical space.  We see it, feel it, taste with it, touch with it, smell with it.  The breath is the link between the mind and body.

Good news!  We can train our minds to shift.  We can train our minds to focus on more positive messaging. We can train our minds to relax our body through deep meditative breath (in and out through the nose).  We can move and exercise the body to release tension in the mind.  The two are constantly communicating with each other.

To relieve stress and live in the moment and more fully, we can relieve stress by moving the body so the mind can shift.  Once the mind shifts, we can view our lives, our problems, our people in a different light.  We all benefit from being reminded to take good care of ourselves.  That means we pay attention to how we feel (physically and mentally).  We pay attention to what we are thinking.  Is the voice of reason or the voice of crazy talking right now?  We shift our focus to the voice of reason so that the voice of crazy can keep quiet. Whatever it is that we are thinking becomes our reality whether it is true or not.  To wit, perception becomes reality.  We check in with our feelings.  How we feel determines what we do.  We are human beings not robots, and we have a wide range of emotions from joy to grief and happiness to dissatisfaction and everything in between.

Take time this week to check in.  How are you feeling in your body?  Are you fatigued, rested, energized, sore, building up to a cold or recovering from the flu?  Take note.  How are you in your mind?  Are you focused and clear?  Are you spending your time and attention where you'd like to be?  There is no judging--just noticing so that we can shift into the flow we'd like to achieve.  That's the stuff dreams are made of.

Listen to the Experts--Including Yourself

I was looking at a pile of old magazines at a friend's house, and they had headlines that said things like "RESET NOW" and "VULNERABILITY IS STRENGTH" and "MOVING FORWARD WITH KINDNESS," etc. etc.  Lots of commands from the universe to do more than what I am presently doing. When I looked at all the titles, it started making me feel that just being myself might not be enough.

This gave me pause, and it made me realize that there is a lot of information and a lot of voices preaching about self-help.  Some of this makes sense.  Personally, I do think we need more encouragement to achieve our goals.  I do think the busyness of daily life gets in our way.  As kids, we knew that we were a first grader for a year.  We would be learning to read and do some simple writing with some math and other subjects. When the school year came to an end, we would take a much needed summer break and then move on to second grade.  We would get that figured out too with parents, teachers and aids to help us. As adults, however, it is all running together.  Maybe you have been  at the same job for the last decade.  Is one year remarkably different from another?  Are the milestones or benchmarks of achievement so distinct?  I don't know?  Do you have a way of knowing if you are on the right track?  Maybe a performance review or a bonus gives you the feedback you need.  Maybe you just go along and don't even know where you stand. That not knowing is not comforting.

For these reasons, we enlist the help of the experts.  Let them do the work for us.  Trainers at the gym know what they are talking about.  I know this first hand.  As a yoga instructor and chi flow guide, I have been through a lot of training on how to lead classes, handle emergencies and motivate participants.   Doctors and other health care professionals are supposed to know their content too. We rely on them to tell us what we need to know.  If it's the right professional, then we trust their advice, and if we are "compliant," we follow their advice.  This usually helps us.  When I had a flying squirrel in my house, I called the Wildlife Management folks.  They knew exactly what to do.  I let them do it.

When it comes to our heart's desire, we benefit from trusting our own instincts.  We can rely on the most expert person of all--ourselves.  We know how we really feel about things.  We know what we would really like to have happen.  We know how good it feels when our lives are "flowing" in the direction we'd like them to go. We listen to the voice inside our heads all day and night long.  We believe it to be true.  Perception is reality, so if this is the voice of reason, we can trust it and behave accordingly.  If it is the voice of crazy thinking, then our behavior that follows won't feel good, look good or be good for us.  It will tell us what we need to know.

I encourage you to listen to yourself.  Take some time to slow down long enough to let the possibilities come to you.  Are you are the right track?  Are you spending your time where your values lie?  Are your emotional needs being met by the people closest to you?  Are you putting yourself first often enough?  Are you de-stressing on a regular basis so you can enjoy your precious life?

We don't always need to be striving.  We can relax too and take stock.  At the very least, let's be open to flowing, which is the sense that you are moving in the direction you'd like with little resistance and more natural energy simply guiding you along.   Before you realize it, you will have arrived where you intended to be.  This time, you will be fully aware of it.