Plan to Succeed No Matter What

We are susceptible to environmental cues.  We respond to the stimulus in our environment the way we always have.  Maybe it's candy or chips at the checkout or a tray of cookies coming fresh out of the oven.  Our natural instinct might be to start eating.  We like this stuff, after all.  However, if you are watching your calories, points, sugar and sat fat intake, it's time to rethink this approach.  

The next time you see something in your path that looks tempting, take a moment.  Consider your options.  Do you have to do what you always have done?  Do you have to eat all, or can you have some?  Do you have to remain near the food, or can you simply turn away and distract yourself?  

Special treats and unplanned snacks are not set in your path to make your life difficult.  They are part of life.  So, one of the best things to do when they come along is accept them as a choice that you have the POWER to make.  Cookies and chips don't control you even if they show up in unsuspecting places.  Cheese and crackers don't have feelings.  You can say NO and move on.  Or, you can incorporate them into your day even if you didn't plan for them, by being mindful.  If you eat cookies at lunch, maybe you forgo a potato at dinner.  If you have more than your fair share of crackers, maybe you lighten up with more vegetables later on or tomorrow.  What you don't do is feel guilty.  We are allowed to eat.  

The point is that there is always, always, always something you CAN do to put yourself in the driver's seat of your life.  No matter what shows up, you get to decide.  Being tempted is tough, but those temptations are not going away, and the more we practice our mindfulness skills and exercise our power over difficult situations, the better we feel.  That is success in the making.  Try it this week, with something unexpected that comes along, and see for yourself!  

   

I Think I Can, and so I WILL

Whether you think you can (fill in this blank.... run a 5K, bake a cake from scratch, lose 20 pounds) or not--you are correct.  Thinking that you can do something, having the confidence in your ability to execute your plan is the starting off point.  Then, following through on your plan is the critical next step.  Finally, reflecting on your accomplishment with self satisfaction builds more confidence and proof that you actually can do what you intended--because you did do it, and it worked out just fine.  Whew, that's a lot!

What if, on the other hand, you think you can't do something.  What if you start telling yourself things like "I can't lose weight at this age." or "I can't play pickleball." or "I can't learn a new language or instrument."  If you decide you can't do something, then you just gave up.  Your body eavesdrops on your mind and hears those messages.  Then, you find all kinds of ways to prove yourself correct.  It goes like this:  "Since I can't lose weight now that I am 70 years old, I am going out for DairyQueen whenever I feel like it."  BOOM! Therein lies the problem.  

It's so important to take time to reflect on what is going on between your ears.  Most of us have 70,000 thoughts per day.  Most of the thoughts we entertain today are the same, exact ones we had yesterday.  If you harbor negative thoughts about your body, your abilities, your weight, your competence, then you will continue to recall those negative thoughts and act on them.  None of us want to be wrong.  We want to prove our point of view.  We will self sabotage to do just that.

This week, consider what you CAN do.  Reflect on this seriously and note all the ways (great and small) that you actually DID do what you set out to do.  Then, consider what you'd like to have happen now.  Consider any self sabotaging thoughts you may have had.  Dismiss them.  Those thoughts are not helping you, and they are holding you back.

Your dreams are at the ends of those positive, affirming, confident thoughts.  Chase those dreams down.  Welcome those dreams into your life.  Make room for them. 

Live the life of your dreams all because you thought you could,  and so you did.   

Who Are You?

How you identify yourself is part of your self esteem, your actions and even your happiness.  I think of myself as a do-er. That means that I do things--all kinds of things at work, at home, in my personal life, with my fitness goals and my writing.  It also means that I do not crumble even in the face of adversity.  It is a badge I wear proudly, and it guides my actions which say "keep going"!

There are also certain identifiers that I don't wish to have.  When my daughter, Natalie, had AML (cancer) as an infant, and I was living with her in Children's Hospital of Minnesota, the Social Worker on the Oncology Unit held a "Cancer Moms" group every week.  I told her clearly I do NOT want to be a cancer mom.  That's not who I am.  I told her kindly that I was not ever going to attend that meeting, and I thought it was disrespectful to Natalie.  The crisis of our lives that changed us forever--please, do not name me that way.  I was simply Natalie's mom.  

By identifying with certain titles or roles, we naturally take on the actions of those roles.  The things we are most proud of, we talk about and weave into conversations.  We might even create a day around those things.  For example, if I say I am a gardener, then that means I garden.  I work with the dirt, seeds, plants, flowers, bees, Miracle Grow, trees, vegetables, soil.  That means I want you to know that I am someone who takes this hobby seriously, and when you see me in dirty jeans on a summer Saturday you know it's likely because I've been digging in my garden not because I forgot to do laundry.

What if you would like to be--someday--somehow that person who is a do-er or a gardener or an exerciser or a meditator?  You start by doing what it takes.  You remember that you may have done some of this before.  Have you ever gardened?  Have you ever planted?  Have you been to the garden store and gazed through the options?  Do you want this to be part of your life and your identity?  Then, keep doing those things, and start introducing that title to yourself in your head and to your friends and family.  And then, keep going!  Seal the deal.  Make it real.  Make it about you.  Make it a part of you.  Make it a part of your identity.  Wear the badge!  Feel the pride.  

In these covid times, it is more important than ever to gaze inward and see what's there.  We are not going to get our affirmation from the external world.  The external world is in chaos.  The overdoing of precovid life has been turned upside down.  It is incumbent upon us all to figure out a new way of doing things.  We have the time, the stillness, the opportunity to look at what is in front of us, or what is in us and decide.  

This is part of our coping strategy for getting through this mess--and coming out of it better on the other side.   Take time this week to list all the words that identify who you are--and who you might like to be.  Write them down.  Consider what they mean.  Then, take action on a few of your identifiers.  Notice how it feels.  Does it give you a sense of purpose?  Does it create an agenda?  Does it frame your day?  Tell me about it when you know.  I want to hear.

Spend Your Time on What Gives Your Life Meaning

In some respects, we have more time than we did before Covid.  Less commuting.  Less shopping and going out for meals.  Less socializing.  In other respects, there is too much time on our hands that gets in the way of actually accomplishing something.  The time we do have now feels agitated and empty.  

We all get the same twenty-four hours in a day, but how we choose to spend those hours makes all the difference.  Now that September showed up this week (yikes) it is definitely time to turn the page away from summer (boo) and look to crisper days and the joys of fall.  Yet, it's still Covid.  

What about considering what makes your life feel meaningful and important now.  What are the raw materials in your day that make your day worthwhile?  Is it humor, hobbies, a project, a connection with friends and family, exercise, nature, your pet, prayer or meditation, accomplishment, good meals?  Those "things" are the building blocks of how you can create a day of activities or rituals that make you happier and healthier whether it's Covid or no Covid.  

This takes focus because there is no urgency.  If you don't do it today, well there's always tomorrow.  That is part of the Covid coping problem.  These days are dragging along, and there is not enough definition in them to keep them interesting. "Work expands to fill the amount of time you have to do it in."  I don't know who said that, but it's true.  The day stretches out too long when there isn't enough of the good stuff to make it fun, and that makes us feel bad, sad, bored or hopeless. 

Make a list, and check to see that all that makes your day happy is on there.  Then, make sure you divide your hours in the day to tick those boxes on your list so that you have more joy, more happiness and then more healthiness.  I promise it will be well worth your time.