The Power of Setting a Goal

Small goals and big goals are required to get us through.  Having something to look forward to--something within our sight line is what we need to keep slugging through difficulties in day-to-day life.

In weight loss and self improvement, we don't necessarily start with clear goals.  Sometimes, we start with reasons.  We discussed the reasons--the "whys" last week.  We don't like something negative, and we wish to get as far away from it as possible.  That's all it takes to get started.  To keep going, however, we have to discover our goals.  These goals become our burning heart's desire waiting for us in the distant future.  They are exactly what we need to stay focused and motivated to keep moving despite the obstacles that invariably come our way.

We can also set mini goals.  These are attainable, reasonable and in the near future.  Reaching these mini goals makes us feel successful.  Success breeds more success.  The ultimate goal becomes more reachable all the time because we break it into little pieces.

Some people have a hard time finding reasons why they should keep going--they are close to reaching their goals but not quite close enough.  I then have to ask--if this place is not good enough--then what are the alternatives?  Giving up?  Re-evaluating the goal?  It might be as obvious as refusing to go back to the dark side.

Life is hectic and busy.  Taking care of yourself is demanding.  There's a lot to do every day to promote good health and happiness, success at work and harmony in relationships.  We can't do it all the time.  A little bit of doing well on a regular basis will go a long way on the zig-zaggy path to self improvement.

I ask you--what have you done for yourself lately?  What have you done that has gotten you outside your comfort zone?  What have you discovered in your daily life that made you really happy or inspired?  What can you do today to move your life to a more contented place?  

A little reason why
and a little light
at the end of the tunnel
is all you need.

Why NOW?

When we have reasons, at our core, to make a change, then we have the single ingredient required to to get started.  However, once those initial reasons are no longer at the center of our change, we need to discover new reasons.

One of my wonderful members this week shared a story about change.  She said that it is like rowing a boat away from a shoreline that you don't like.  You move away from the trouble, and you are much happier, but you are only in the middle of the lake now.  At that point, you can stop, take stock of your progress, and then search for a new reason to keep you paddling all the way to the opposite shore.  You explore what it will take to stay the course and reach your ultimate destination.

This explains part of the challenge in our journey of self improvement.  We have to keep finding reasons to keep going.  We have to identify those important "whys" that make the work of self improvement and fulfillment make sense.  While you might be glad your pants are no longer strangling you (middle of the lake), you may not be happy to buy a pair of jeans (opposite side of lake).

Sometimes we need a new reason every day to stick with the program.  Other times, we have a longer range reason (wedding, reunion) to keep focused.  At the very least, if we reflect deeply on what matters the most, right now,  we will discover the motivation to keep going.

Of course, getting to the opposite side of the lake, to the ultimate place we'd like to be is not the end of our journey.  It is merely a new place to celebrate--an even greater achievement.  It is also a place to discover new reasons and new "whys."  They change over time because our lives change.  That's a good thing.  It keeps our journey fresh, exciting and moving.

Take a moment this week to discover what is motivating you right now.  What is at the center of your heart's desire for a healthy, happy, fulfilling and active life?  Let those important reasons motivate you to keep growing, to keep paddling, to keep going.

Seasons Change, and so Do We

Now that the fall temperatures are in the air, summer gives way to fall.  We start doing different things--more inside than out.  We cook differently and eat a bit differently.  Honeycrisp apples and pumpkin flavors are coming.  We wear more clothing and look for physical warmth when we encounter a chill.

We are now changing at Weight Watchers too, with the way we write our self improvement story. We are purposefully looking at multiple ways to measure progress, improvement and success.  We want to notice the behavioral changes, the attitude adjustments, the effort we make in planning meals and packing snacks.  Let's not forget fitness. We are now embracing our "success story book" to chronicle, catalog, plan and reflect on our self improvement lives, with a month at a glance instead of just a week at a time.  The number at the scale still matters.  Of course it does because it is the only objective measure we have, to see how things are going.  However, that number only makes sense in the context of the other things going on in our lives--for better or worse.

This change really puts the work of weight loss in the context of a complex life full of ups and downs, challenges and triumphs and self improvement.  In the circle of life, there is no end.  In the journey of weight loss, there is no end either.  We keep moving away from what we don't like and towards what we do.  We never need to be stuck.  We can always choose to keep moving.

Now is the time.
To embrace a change.
I can.
I will.

Honesty with Yourself

Most of us consider ourselves to be honest people.  We don't steal at the grocery store.  We don't lie. We follow through on our commitments.  What would the weight loss journey look like if we were just as honest with ourselves?  We have over 200 choices to make every day about food. There is no doubt that we have behavioral changes to make.  We have stress to manage.  We have to step outside our comfort zone.  Are we honest about our true intentions?  Are we honest about tracking food and managing portions?  Are we wishing for weight loss and self improvement, or are we working for it?

It's important to note, that there is a distinction between being honest with ourselves and being too hard on ourselves.  Many mistakes will happen on a regular basis on this path of self improvement. It's just too easy to go awry.  That's not the point, though.  The point is that we are clear in our intentions and follow through in our actions.  That is precisely where the "sweet spot" of self improvement lies.

It sounds so good.  I wish it felt so easy.  I know it is not.  We are human beings not robots.  That means that we have to forgive ourselves when we aren't doing what we'd like to be--and then learn from that--and move on quickly.  There's no judgment and no criticism.  It's simply a learning experience we can use to help us in the future.  For example, if I go home too hungry after a trying day--then I don't make good food choices.  I am better off stopping for a salad bar and then going home.  (true story)

As the sun rises and sets, as the moments turn into hours and then into days--as the weeks become months and years, it is our life that is created.  We all deserve to live the life we desire.  We all deserve to be healthy and happy.  We can choose this path.  One moment at a time will deliver us to the next moment.  And then--welcome to your happy, healthy life.

You are Stronger than you know

When I teach my yoga classes, I always end by whispering an affirmation in everyone's ear during the final resting pose.  Sometimes I say:  "You are stronger than you know".  As adults, we don't often get the positive messaging and propping up that we could use to keep going.  We don't get those regular reminders that we often give to our children.  We can change that.

For the purposes of self improvement,  balance, wellness and weight loss, we need to rely on some of the things that make us great to begin with.  The core strengths, characteristics, virtues and qualities that we possess can actually motivate us and prop us up as we work towards our personal goals.  The better we feel, the better we do.  The happier we are, the more we want to achieve greater happiness and fulfillment.  It is a cycle that perpetuates itself.  We can use that.

Some of the characteristics that we talked about this week include:  perspective, gratitude, hope, love,
appreciation, forgiveness, honesty, leadership, kindness.  These are the strengths that we use in our daily lives, at work, at home, with our families and friends.  We can also use them to our advantage in our self improvement on our weight loss journey.  We can tap into those strengths and apply them to the ups and downs and daily challenges of losing weight.  For example, if someone is an honest person, that sense of honesty can be applied to tracking foods regularly, sticking to the fitness plan in place and following the basic guidelines of the program.  By being honest with ourselves, we are holding ourselves accountable.  Accountability goes a long way in creating lasting weight loss.  Let's take another example, like forgiveness.  Being a person who can forgive others means that we have to turn that forgiveness on ourselves and realize that when we don't follow the guidelines of the program, (alert:  the program is riddled with opportunities for human error) we can forgive ourselves, learn from the experience and move on.  Staying stuck is not an option because we are not going to play negative, self defeating tapes--another save.  We need that.

It is in our DNA to move to the dark side.  Our ancestors used this to their advantage.  It was a survival technique when external forces could swoop in and threaten life.  Most of us don't have that kind of desperation in our lives at this time in history.  However, our DNA still thinks we do.  We have to overcome that tendency to expect the worst and move towards the positive.

Over the weekend, I heard a Hurricane Katrina survivor talk about all the devastation he experienced with loss of home, job, health.  Ten years later, he said:  "Difficult does not mean impossible."  Yes, it is true.  In fact, you are stronger than you know.

SLIPS ARE NORMAL

Nobody is perfect.  We know this on a cognitive level.  For some reason, however, when it comes to weight loss pursuits, we forget that a less than perfect choice doesn't have to lead to more regret. Instead, a less than perfect choice, i.e. many of our choices, are just that--choices.  Because we are never more than three hours away from eating, we can choose a better option when the next snack or meal comes around.

It sounds easy enough.  However, many of our less than perfect choices don't come from a conscious, intentional, rational place.  Many of these choices come from emotion, stress, fatigue, insecurity, procrastination, etc.  We have about 200 choices to make every day about food.  That's a lot of work to do.  When we are fresh and full of energy, not fatigued from the work of the day or the people in our lives, we can make those smart picks.  As the day wears on, the strain increases as does the decision fatigue.  That's when these regretted choices jump up.

Take a step back and look at last week's eating.  When were the times you'd like a "do over?"  Where were the occasions where you couldn't seem to stick to your plan?  What was going on?  What could you try next time?

The important part of a slip is recognizing for what it is, containing it and moving forward quickly. Forgive yourself and move on.  There is no point in dwelling on regret.  Just make a plan to do something different next time.  A quick dose of forgiveness doesn't imply that we are not holding ourselves accountable.  In fact, we are holding ourselves accountable to the humanness in ourselves. We are not perfect, and our eating is not perfect, and it won't ever be.  There is too much distraction involved.  It can be better, though.  Yours and mine.  It can be more intentional.  It can be more healthful.  It can be more satisfying.

As a never-ending work in progress, it is up to each of us to face the day with all the intention, courage, patience, forgiveness and humility we can gather.  It is up to us to make the most of whatever the day, the universe, the people we know have in mind.  It is up to us to learn from our mistakes.  It is up to us to keep going.  One moment at a time.  One choice at a time.  One day at a time.  It is up to us to create the best version of ourselves.  That will promote a lifestyle of health, wellness, wellbeing.  That will produce a payoff well worth the effort.  We all have it in us.  We have to keep going.  We owe it to ourselves.

Stop the Madness: Stop the Emotional Eating Roller Coaster

Too much birthday cake.  Too many chips on the sofa after work and before dinner, in front of tv. Too many drinks at the annual holiday party.  Too many trips to the candy dish at work on a stressful day.  What do all these scenarios have in common?  Too much food and drink in a moment when we get tangled in emotion instead of intention.

This is the common story of mindless eating vs. conscious eating.  Everyone does it.  Everyone is an emotional eater.  In fact, we are all encouraged to respond to life's events with food and sometimes drink.  From birthdays to funerals, food is attached to life's milestones.  For many of us, food is also attached to normal, human emotions like frustration, boredom, upset, anxiety, depression and stress. There is nothing wrong with our feelings.  Because we are human, we have feelings.  However, in our society, certain feelings seem more acceptable than others.  It's almost always ok to respond to: "How is it going?" with "Great!"  It would be troubling for most people to hear:  "Not at all good, undergoing exploratory stomach surgery, spouse lost job, baby has colic, and the police are on speed dial."  This is part of the problem.  When we do feel the darker side of our personality, not everyone is equipped to handle it, starting with ourselves.  However, by accepting the fact that we are not going to live in a steady state of greatness, we can normalize these emotions and then respond to these emotions with positive intention as opposed to mindless reaction.

For weight loss and weight maintenance purposes, we need to recognize those situations from the past when eating became automatic, overindulgent and full of fat, carbs and sugar.  What was it that came before the mindless eating?  What were the circumstances that conspired?  Who might have been involved?   Was there a particular time of day or week that brought on the stress overload?  By identifying those challenges from past experiences, we can prepare for the future.  We can look at similar situations and recognize that we need something more than food or drinks to cope with feelings.  We need some other non-food reward to help us in these critical moments.

I talk about the "ME TANK."  It needs to be filled on a daily basis with the good stuff, the stuff that makes us happy about who we are.  Exercise, meditation, reading, writing, being outside in nature, talking to friends, recognition, sharing experiences, planning social outings, taking a nap, tending to pets...these are some of the things we can use to fill the "ME TANK."  If we don't fill it with the good stuff, we fill it with the junky stuff, and then we inevitably regret it.  Topping off mindless eating with guilt produces shame and frustration.  More emotion that brings on upset.

Let's avoid all of that.  Let's start filling up the ME TANK with ME TIME.  Let's make sure we set ourselves up to succeed by planning breaks.  We deserve them.  We are not robots.  Let's plan on fun ME TIME so that work, family responsibilities, stress and worry don't trap us and keep us from living this precious life as the best version of ourselves.  If the ME TIME is on the calendar, then the positive intention will magnify.  Then handling our emotions more calmly will enter in.  Then we can put food in its rightful place.  Nutrition and fuel for the body 90% of the time.  Pleasure, of course, 10% of the time.

I know we can all get better at this.  We aren't giving up our emotions or feelings things deeply and sensitively.  Not even close.  What we are giving up is responding to emotion by overeating.  That's a habit well worth breaking.  In fact, the time is now to get started.