Seasons Change and So Do You

Spring is coming up early by Minnesota standards.  With warmer temperatures and sunnier days and with the clocks moving forward one hour this weekend, a new season is coming up quickly.  It begs the question...are you ready?  Are you where you thought you'd be several months ago in the dead of winter when lots of people were making resolutions for 2016? 

Lifestyle changes are not resolutions.  They are goals, short-term and long-term, that define who it is we would like to be--they challenge us as we are changing and evolving.  Lifestyle changes are also a work of practice not perfection.  There are victories along the way and momentary stops in between. One thing is certain, however, time marches on whether we are actually making the changes we'd like or not.

This past week, I heard someone talk about being a "fake WW member."  She said that she attends meetings but doesn't really do the work of the program.  Her life is too overwhelming on all fronts to cope with anything.  I challenged her to do one thing, no matter how small, to focus on for the week. She didn't want to do that.  I kept pushing, and she named a behavior change but wasn't happy about it.  As it turns out, that one thing brought with it a raft of improvements.  Simply by starting where she was, an unhappy place and by answering the call to just start over, she did.  

Transformation doesn't come easily to most of us.  We have to ask things of ourselves that we haven't asked before.  We have to keep going even when we don't feel like it.  We have to be stronger than our strongest excuse (Kevynn).  But, it is precisely in those dark moments of discomfort and fear, that we become the change we were searching for all along.  

As March ushers in a new season, ask yourself if you are ready to make a change?  Are you where you want to be with the changes you have made?  Is there more for you?  And then, live your dream. One day at a time will turn into weeks at a time, months at a time, seasons at a time and years at a time.  Your dream come true.  Thanks to you.

Setting Goals: Move Outside Your Comfort Zone

Setting goals is a part of life in so many ways.  From finding a first apartment to planning a future vacation to landing a new job and every thing in between, we first think of something we'd like to achieve--and then we plan for it.  With a specific goal in mind, we break down the steps into manageable and measurable pieces so that we can be realistic.  We assess as we go, so that we are sure we are on the right track.  We then expect SUCCESS because we have laid the groundwork.  We need to be flexible so that we can adjust if needed, but because our ultimate goal is so worthwhile and important, we find ways to keep going.

This is the very path of living a healthy lifestyle at a healthy weight, with regular physical activity built in, with hobbies and social time, adequate rest and relaxation and smart stress management.  So many of us agree that this is important and worthwhile, but we have to be willing to move outside our comfort zone to get there.  We have to make change happen.  We have to give up feeling like a failure.  We have to commit to our best expectations as well as the unknown even if it is frightening.  
It takes courage to step outside of what you know.  It takes self awareness to say that you aren't fulfilled where you are in your life, even if you are the reason for it, and make a move.  It takes patience to lay the foundation for your success because you are making a change and taking a risk.  It takes determination and humility to keep going when things don't work out according to plan.  It takes positivity to keep going.  It starts with you.  It ends with you.  Hopefully there will be helpers along the way, but at the end of the day.  It is all about you.

So, dream big of a happier, healthier, more fulfilling life.  Expect it to go well.  Expect there to be friends and strangers to give an assist.  Ignore the naysayers who will be suspicious of your change (they like you the way you are).  Expect a few setbacks that might be guideposts to another dream. Expect success.  It will feel different.  It will take work.  It will involve disappointment at times, but it will also be worth it.  So very worth it.




\accordingly, then we can handle what's waiting outside our comfort zone.

What Kind of Person do I want to be?

This question came up last week, and it gave everyone pause.  What kind of person do I want to be?   We can answer this question on so many levels.  I want to be a good mother to my daughters.  I want to be a good employee at my job.  I want to be a good citizen to my neighbors.  I want to be an active and participating member at my church.  I want to be an athlete at my gym...

When it comes to weight loss and self improvement, however, we get to answer that question with our actions all day long.  I want to be a person who is in control of my eating.  I want to be a person who packs snacks, plans ahead and stays within my smartpoints.  I want to be a person who gets satisfied with less.  I want to be a person who can say no to temptation more often than not...

Not unlike other areas of our lives, we have to keep working at it.  We have to keep finding ways to succeed by breaking down the work into manageable pieces and then doing the work.  Fortunately, with weight loss and self improvement, we take baby steps before big leaps.  We figure out good breakfasts and lunches before we go to an all-you-can-eat buffet.  This approach has worked well in other areas of our lives, and it works well with weight loss and self improvement.

We can make small changes on a regular basis that will add up to big results if we start by answering the question:  What kind of person do I want to be?   Think deeply about your answers.  Then, ask for help if you need it (like an accountability partner) or help from others doing similar things.  Then, just do it.  NIKE has it right.  We have to just DO IT once the figuring out is done.  Take a step, make a leap.  Find yourself acting like the person you want to be.  Find yourself living like the person you want to be.  Find yourself thriving like the person you always knew you could be.





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Show up for your Fitness

Fitness is now considered a part of life.  It is no longer an optional activity if you are so inclined, if you are athletic or if you like sports.  Everyone is challenged to increase their daily level of fitness because our American lifestyle is so sedentary that it actually is making us sick.  Sitting is now considered a disease as damaging as smoking.

We have to get on the bandwagon and move more.  It's just that simple.  And simple it can be. Walking more is the most obvious way to start--inside the office, around the mall, inside a climate controlled space or outside in the elements.  It all counts, and it all contributes to a healthier lifestyle.

One of the many benefits of physical activity is that it makes you feel physically and emotionally better.  Exercise is the single most powerful defense in managing stress and improving the mood.   No one can argue with that.  However, it is so easy to not make fitness a priority despite the compelling reasons to do just the opposite.  Like anything important in life, we have to schedule it in to make it happen.  Put it on the calendar and then show up for it.

Some people say that half of life's success comes from just showing up.  I challenge everyone to do just that this week.  Show up for your self care.  Show up for your positive appearance.  Show up for your self esteem.  Show up for your family.  Show up for your coworkers.  Show up for fitness and health.  You can do it.  You can start small and increase as time goes on.  You can keep showing up. And you can reap the many rewards of an active, healthy lifestyle.  Schedule an appointment with yourself today.  Show up for it.

Take Care of Yourself, Valentine

With Valentine's Day coming up this week, I am seeing chocolate hearts and candies everywhere.  I can assure you, they are capturing my attention.  In years past, I used to get big velvet boxes of chocolates from fancy candy stores.  I would eat those treats all day long starting at breakfast with my coffee.  In fact, I have a collection of velvet Valentine heart boxes, but they now Valentine cards from my girls.  

In the past, holidays or special occasions might have meant big eating with lots of sugary desserts. But now, on our path to improved health, wellness and vitality, we have to rethink our "traditions" and discover more modern ways to celebrate.  At this point, I can honestly say that I do not want anyone bringing me a big velvet chocolate box on Valentine's Day.  I know I can't be trusted, and I truly do not want to go off track.  I would much prefer a treat that doesn't force me to "work" to enjoy it.  I have my sweetheart trained.  He knows not to bring me sweets.  We are having a nice dinner out and going to a play.  Now, that I can manage and enjoy and feel "treated."  Flowers, cards, time alone, a massage--these are all ways to mark this holiday without breaking the points bank and filling yourself with regret.

Wouldn't it be nice if we lived in the world where the healthier option was the default option.  The healthier choice was a big basket of ruby red strawberries with a little dark chocolate dipping sauce instead of what we normally see everywhere we go.  It certainly would make all of our lives easier. Until then, we have to arrange our lives so that the healthier option is most often the obvious option. It's a work in progress.  We are hard-wired to like sweets from birth.   But, if we are taking really good care of ourselves, we have a reason, a reason to not eat so many treats.  We have a reason to stay on track.  We have a reason to find a healthier or alternative substitute to a big chocolate heart. In doing so, we might just train ourselves to get satisfied with a small one.  For someone like me, a chocoholic since I was a kid, to say that tells me it can be done.

Take care of yourself this Valentine's Day.  Treat yourself this Valentine's Day.  Be sure to celebrate the loves in your life.  Be sure to treasure what matters most.  And, if now is the time, rethink your ideas about a Valentine treat, even if you just downsize the velvet box.

Thrive on Your Enthusiasm

I have met so many people lately who are fired up and ready to make a lasting change in their lives. It's infectious, i.e. the enthusiasm, the desire to live a better life and to live a healthier life.  It all sounds exciting.  However, behind that spark is the hard work it takes to get from here to there.

Cliches abound.  Life is a journey not a destination.  Enjoy the process.  Keep your eyes on the prize. Take baby steps.  Be patient.  Be persistent.  Let it go!  Which one, if any of these works for you?

To be accurate, it just might be a gift from the universe to be in an uncomfortable and unhappy place. It's a dark chance to stop, take stock and look around.  It's a time to realize that "this" whatever "this" is to you is no longer acceptable.  If it weren't for these difficult times that we all suffer through, we would never muster the courage to make a change to begin with.  We can actually use that hardship to our advantage by deciding to move away from it.

It might be helpful to dream BIG.  What might that happier, healthier future and all that comes with it look like?  It is the carrot not the stick approach.  What do I get out of the deal anyway?  For example, if I am going to get up early to exercise instead of sleep longer, how will that actually happen?  What's in it for me?  If there is no BIG dream motivating an early rise, then I am sorry to say, it probably won't happen very often.  Sleeping at 5AM sounds better than getting up in the dark and working out to a person who has no compelling reason to make a change.

This brings me back to the truth.  Change is hard.  It comes from a tough spot.  Yet behind it, the desire for something better is so overwhelming and valuable.  And yes, old-fashioned hard work is involved.  To be fit, to eat nutritiously, to resist temptations, to get quality sleep, to engage in fulfilling hobbies, to manage stress--and all the rest of it take time, attention, prioritization and oh, yes, desire.

With this in mind, dig deep.  What is it that you are really looking for on your path to health, wellness, fitness, wellbeing, happiness?  What harsh truths might you have to face to make these dreams real?  Are you up to the task?  Are you up to the work that is required to self improve?  Can you see small steps as huge leaps in the right direction?  Can you forgive yourself for not being "perfect" and being human on the road to more?

Surviving is not enough for most us.  We seek to thrive.  I encourage you to thrive on your own enthusiasm.  Let it drive you along your path to self improvement.  It will be worth the ride.

Mindful Living

First, we think something.
Second, we act on it.
Third, we live with the consequences.

There are so many blogs and twitter feeds about positivity, positive thinking, daily meditations on life, thoughts for the day, etc.  Not all of them are helpful or even great, but they all share a similar purpose, i.e. they try to help people look at things more positively so they can live more fully.  I am all for that, because it works.  In fact, mindful living makes it easier to say yes to what we really care about and no to things that don't matter.  Mindful eating means we choose the food we love, and we leave the lesser options alone.  It means we slow down with our eating, savoring every bite.  We limit distractions and make the most of the moment.

There are so many thoughts that run through our minds all day long.  They are not all positive, nor should they be.  Sometimes negative thoughts can protect us from impending danger.  However, when it comes to behavioral change, the more positive we can be, the better results we will achieve. Often, when I am coaching someone, he will say to me that he can't do this or that or the other. Eventually, I stop him and say--tell me what you can do.  Let's reframe this conversation to what is possible because that's where the change happens.  We can be realistic too.  While maybe you can't get to the gym because of sick people at home, you can close the door for two minutes and breathe deeply and then make a cup of tea.  That's positive and intentional, mindful and restorative.  It's not the same as going to the gym, but you couldn't get there anyway, so forget about it.  Focus on what you can do.  Let everything else fall away.  Those negative thoughts do not serve you.  Free yourself from them.

I know it is not possible to be positive and intentional all of the time.  However, moving towards a more mindful life where you take the time you need for the things that matter to you will quiet some of those negative thoughts.  Then, it will help those negative behaviors from creeping in as well.  (I can't work out so I might as well pick up take out fast food.)  In addition, it will balance all that you do that is good and hopefully paint a much more realistic picture of your life.  No one's life is all pluses or all minuses.  There are parts of both in everyone's life.  That's normal.  Of course, we like the positive times more than the negative.  That's normal too.

Watch what you are thinking.  Then watch what you are doing.  Do your thoughts and actions match the mindful, intentional life of good health that you are looking for?    If so, keep it up.  If not, go back and try to discover where the breakdown occurred.  Try again the next time.  Keep going. That's it.  No need to belittle your efforts.  Keep going.  You will get where you want to go as long as you don't give up.