Evolve with the New Year

Tame the Tiger in You

There are lots of ways to describe hunger--one being internal hunger vs. the other being external hunger.  Internal hunger is real, physical and best dealt with by eating nutritious food. Think of breakfast, lunch, dinner and healthier snacks.  On the other hand, external hunger is opportunistic--it is based in what you happen to see or smell in the moment.  This is where the animal in us just pounces at whatever it sees.  With all the desserts, cookies and extras available this time of year, this can be a real problem. 

One way to tame this tiger, is to stop, slow down and ask yourself whether you are internally hungry?  If so, then of course eating makes sense.  If what you choose is mostly healthy and right-sized portioned, and you stop eating when you are satisfied, this is NOT where weight gain will come from.  If you find yourself tempted just because opportunity presented itself, the food looked good, it was sitting there, everyone else was eating, etc., then you might consider whether you really want to eat or whether this is just one of 200 opportunities in the course of the day.  This is precisely where weight gain comes from.  The opportunistic bites are so often full of calories, saturated fat, sugar and salt.

As thinking adults not animals, we can endeavor to get better at slowing down long enough to decide what's right from moment to moment.  Eating meals and planned snacks at regular intervals will certainly help.  Not letting hunger get too primal will also help.  We can't help but forget our smart human brains when hunger becomes primal, and the tiger comes scratching. 

It's holiday time, and there is a lot competing for our attention.  It's a great time to slow down the pace and gather the energy inward to focus.  Focus on what's important.  Focus on what matters.  Let go of what is getting in the way.  And most importantly of all, keep going.  Keep showing up for your heart's desires.  It will help make this work of adult life worthwhile.  Something a wild tiger really cannot grasp.

Gifts Only You Can Give Yourself

With the holiday season buzzing around, I see commercials, ads, displays, ideas--all about what to buy someone for Christmas.  When I was a kid, anticipation, gifts, family celebrations were what Christmas was all about.  In my neighborhood, we all put out brown paper bags full of sand and lit candles at night.  The luminaria tradition.  I loved looking out my bedroom window, feeling the cold windowsill as I took in the stretch of lights as far as my little eyes could see--magical! 

As an adult, I feel differently about the season.  I do love my tree and lights.  I love sending cards with photos.  I've been doing that for years.  Yet, more stuff is not appealing to me.  I am not a big shopper--in the mall or online.  When I do go out to shop, I end up buying more things for me--and I don't need more things.  At this point, my girls aren't looking for American Girl dolls and toys.  It's more like gift cards and money. 

This brings me to my adult take on Christmas.  Things that come in boxes with ribbons are lovely, but that's not what I am looking for.  I want things I cannot buy.  And I want things that actually make me happy on a regular basis, not just for holiday time.

Like so many of you, I too am on a life-long journey of self improvement, self acceptance, good health, peace of mind...  This time of year is full of distraction, and I am noticing myself getting sidetracked  by little extras.  As we know too well, little things add up.  So I am adding more intention to my actions.  That will make me happy.  I am increasing mindfulness by being present in the moment.  This is destressing.  I am also looking for better quality sleep.  A lifelong work in progress.

While these things may not sound like a typical recipe for holiday good cheer, they bring more happiness to my humble life.  That's a gift only I can give myself.

Know Yourself and Be True to Yourself

Sometimes we don't give ourselves enough credit.  And, other times we let ourselves off the hook too easily.  When we were children, our parents, teachers and coaches probably called us out on these things more often than not.  They did this because they wanted the best for us.  They wanted us to succeed.  They wanted us to learn from our mistakes.  

Fast forward to adulthood.  Things have changed.  We might not have that voice of authority looking out for us. We might not have that coach cheering us on.  We are left to our own devices, and that's not always the best arrangement.

Creating space and time every day to simply consider what you'd like to have happen, i..e. how you'd like the day to go can become a small habit that yields big returns. It's like a happiness scaffold to hang your activities, to-do's, goals, intentions on.  The more intentional you can become with your moments and activities, the more likely they are to happen.  You return to your true self and what you really want instead of letting the day run away.  This can start with the alarm on the phone, checking emails and other media and then getting sucked into something you may not even care about.  

We live in a time with too much excess.  Too much information overload.  Too much accessibility.  Too much noise.  It is distracting, and it robs us of stillness and presence.  This is a jagged path to scattered, frustrated energy. This will make us unhappy and unproductive.

Especially this busy time of year, refocus on yourself.  Put special, heart-felt energy behind a "me time" habit whereby you start the day off right.  You adhere to a new habit of considering what you'd like to achieve.  This can be personal and professional.  To be a healthy person means we integrate all facets of our daily lives.  

Build the habit of starting the day gradually and quietly.  Set the tone before you even leave the house.  See what happens.

Stay Sane for the Holidays

It's that ultra busy time of the year.  The weather turns cold and unpredictable.  There is pressure to plan, decorate, shop, organize, cook and bake to impress.   All this while living regular life too, like going to the grocery store, doing laundry and showing up at work and being productive.  It's a lot of distraction, and it can feel like a lot of pressure.

Now is the time to consider how you'd like to show up for yourself in the next month.  Thinking about what makes the holidays fun for you is a good start.  Is it the decorating?  Is it the lights?  Is it the family traditions?  If so, don't let go of what makes this festive for you.  Next, think about the activities, outings, pot lucks, parties, entertaining that might happen.  What is fun in all of that for you?  If there is something that's on the calendar, but it really doesn't bring you joy and feels more like an obligation, then maybe you pass this time.  Finally, think about what you can do for yourself to keep sane during this hectic time.  What are the things that relax you and dial down the tension in your life?  Maybe more physical activity might help manage stress.  Maybe taking more frequent breaks at work to walk and drink more water would fit into your schedule.  Maybe finding a buddy to go to a fitness class just to stay accountable might feel like a social release and a stress relief.  Maybe going to bed earlier to get more rest might do the trick.  When it seems like life is moving too fast, simply slow down for yourself.  Take note of the things you are doing that are helping and those that are not helping.  If you feel more stressed at the thought of another night out or more shopping after a long day, then take a break and take your life back.  Dial back the expectations so that you can enjoy yourself this time of year too.

This is the time when ultra rich, heavy foods laden with sugar, saturated fat and calories seem to show up everywhere.  Stress will make it too easy to indulge too often.  Consider the treats that matter to you the most--and save yourself for those.  Slow down long enough to enjoy them in a mindful way.  They will mean more.  Ignore anything that is ho-hum, not that good or nor really your favorite.

The month of December could be the month of self care, if you set yourself up for it.  This could be the time where you are actually enjoying the season because you are managing your expectations and eliminating excess.  For me, sending cards with photos of my girls is part of the holiday season.  I like doing it, and although it takes a lot of time, it is worth it to me.  It is a tradition I choose to keep.  As for all the cookie baking, that tradition had to change.  I can't bake like I used to, because I will look like Santa in no time.  I like eating those homemade cookies too much.  If someone asks me to bake for them, I will do it, and I will deliver those cookies promptly, but you won't find a cookie tray at my house.  This is a tradition that I am comfortable giving up.  It doesn't work for me anymore.  It took me a long time to figure it out.

Whatever you do with the month of December, remember that the greatest gift you have comes from your heart.  It doesn't need a ribbon or gift wrap.  It comes out in your words, gestures, kindnesses.  That is truly a gift that keeps on giving.

Kindness is Healthy

It is now scientifically proven that kindness pays off when it comes to your health.  Furthermore, it is not just a good thing for the receiver of the kindness.  Au contraire, it is even more of a boost for the giver.  No wonder Oprah liked to give away cars.  When we give a compliment, open a door, let a fellow driver into the roadway, we extend a good part of ourselves that creates the potential for even more acts of kindness.  Even though you may never know how someone chose to "pay it forward" it still matters.

This is the basic "stuff" that makes us feel happier.  Happier people are funner to be around.  Happier people take life's bumps and bruises in stride and don't allow stress to take over.  Happier people want more good things for themselves, so they keep working on themselves.  Therefore, it pays to train the brain to keep looking for good things, good news, opportunities for being kind.  This doesn't mean awful things don't happen.  This is not pretending that "life is good" even if you are in crisis.  No, this is the growth mindset that we can cultivate, exercise and grow so that our outlook is more often positive than negative. 

As I write this blog, my 17 year old daughter has been home sick from school all week with a perforated ear drum.  She went back to school today only to be sent home because she now has pink eye in both eyes.  Back to the pediatrician.  I am on my way out of town for the WW cruise tomorrow morning, and this development added a wrinkle to the day.  But, I am not focusing on this.  I am not getting pink eye.  I am leaving Natalie in my mother's capable hands and hoping and praying for the best.  It's all I can do. 

Look for ways to be kind to other people--your family, your neighbors, your coworkers and strangers.  A smile, a nice word, a gesture that takes but a few seconds is all it takes to make your day and theirs.  That is the good energy you can control.  And if nothing else, it is good for your health and happiness. 

What Do You Want More vs. What Do You Want Now?

I heard a WW member ask an incredibly profound question that stuck in my mind for over a week.  She said she often asks herself, "what do I want more; and what do I want now?"  Simply stopping to ask that question inserts a pause in what could otherwise be a momentary lapse in judgment.  Slowing down long enough to even think of this question also means that she is using her brain to consider her options as opposed to appealing to instantaneous gratification. 

Weight loss, weight maintenance, self improvement, good habits are anything but instant.  They take time, effort, energy and consistency.  They are the exact opposite of immediate.  Yet, somehow we mix these things up.  We want to achieve those goals, but we forget the effort in the moment that sets the stage.

Our "McQuick" culture is working against us.  However, we are not animals who eat food when it comes in front of them.  They don't have the ability to reason.  Eating is survival for them, and they pounce.  On the other hand, we are human beings with the ability to think, reason, contemplate, debate and consider.  We can observe an eating opportunity knowing it is not our last.  We can choose to partake or not, or split or save something for later.  We are more than our animal instincts. 

With the Halloween candy around and signs of Thanksgiving coming in three weeks to say nothing of December and all its sugary excess, we are going to have lots of opportunity to make decisions.  We will encounter more temptation than we'd like.  We will be faced with the cut to the quick question--what do I want more vs. what do I want now?  If we can use our desire for success to drive our behavior more often, we can gain control by practicing restraint.  It is a practice.  We don't have to always choose fruit instead of cookies, but we can't eat every morsel of rich dessert that shows up either. 

Now is an opportune time to consider all the reasons you decided to change your life.  Those reasons come from the heart, and they are true to you.  You want what you want.  That's fair.  In order to get what you want, you have to commit to it.  Through your thoughts, your actions, by practicing restraint, control, patience, forgiveness.  That's fair too.  You have to appeal to your superpower, i.e. your smart brain and follow through.  You have earn it even though the rewards may not appear immediately.  In doing so, what you want more is exactly what you will be getting.  A dream come true.