You are You: Watch Your Thoughts

The first book I think I ever read on the subject of positive thinking was called "The Little Engine that Could."  We can all remember how this little engine was trying to get up over a big hill.  The problem was clear.  The engine was small, and the hill looked too big.  But, after a bit of coaxing and encouragement from the passengers (clowns and dolls I think)--the little engine managed to climb up the hill, little by little by repeating the words "I think I can.  I think I can."  Once it got over the hill, the engine then said "I thought I could."  This defines the power of  POSITIVITY, which is simply the power of positive thinking and how it can affect and help create a desired outcome.  First, we think something.  Then, we repeat it to ourselves a few times or more.  Then, we act on it  

This is different from magical thinking.  For example, just wishing I could win the lottery and move to Paris will not make it so.  There are too many unknowns and outside forces to make that happen. Instead this is about exerting personal control in one's life which can create amazing outcomes.
Our thoughts are very powerful.

Let's keep this topic in mind when it comes to our bodies.  A touchy subject if there ever was one. Some of us grew up with negative messages about body image.  "You can't wear that...what were you thinking?"  "You need to cover up...those arms look like bat wings."  "Those pants are too tight." This is not helping cultivate a positive body image.  Instead this is about shaming and saying that the body we got at birth, which is the body we live in today, which is the body we will die in, is somehow not good enough.  Since we are not our bodies--our bodies are an extension of ourselves literally and figuratively, and since we carry it around wherever we go, it is up to us to cultivate a positive outlook. It is up to us to rewrite this negative storyboard and appreciate the body for what it can do, for how far it has come, for the children it may have produced, for the miles it has walked, for the arms that have hugged, for the mind that can be changed.

This is an important step on the path to self improvement.  Discovering how we can positively adopt a healthy body image which then helps us make positive changes to preserve and promote that image is key.  We do not want to spend our days thinking harsh, critical thoughts about a part of us that is so important.  We do not want to listen to negative tapes that we create about what our bodies can and can't do.  If you decide to climb a tree, then you can climb a tree.  If you decide to walk 15,000 steps, then you can walk 15,000 steps.

We are not our bodies.  We are not our minds.  We are not our thoughts.  We are not our feelings.  We are that intangible vessel of greatness that came with us at birth.  It is always there like a crystal that doesn't change color no matter what it comes into contact with.  Unfortunately, as we grow up and have normal life experiences and listen to external messages, we can forget that what's deep down inside, what is good, is always there.  The best of us is always there.  It hasn't changed.  It's been covered up.

Like the Little Engine that Could, we can too.  Watch your thoughts.  Watch what you say.  Watch what you do.  If you want more for yourself, go positive and appreciate the best in you.  Always.

Increase the Fun: Increase the Fulfillment

There are many paths to happiness.  At certain times in our lives, being busy and in demand by friends and family might make us happy.  At other times, being quietly relaxed and home alone might restore calm and create its own solitary splendor.  A certain flower or watching a movie or reading a book might bring happiness.  Eating our favorite dinner on our birthday makes us feel happy and cared for.  No matter how we define happiness, we know that being happy and/or content makes us feel good all over.  We smile more often.  We laugh out loud.  We then attract more happiness and contentment to ourselves--while we send our happiness and contentment out to others.

One of the ways to balance our grand efforts at self improvement and sometimes self denial (limiting ice cream or lounging on the couch with to much tv) is with the non-food related things we enjoy, i.e. our bliss.  Hobbies that don't involve food like gardening, fix-it jobs, biking, dog walking, studying World War II history, or taking bubble baths can lead us to a happy place where we are not even thinking about food to "fill us up."

With summer in full swing, now is the time to think like a kid and enjoy the great outdoors. Walking outside in bare feet, feeling the grass or sand under your toes is a reminder that simple pleasures can sometimes be the best.  They are the ones we get to enjoy most often.  They are often the ones we can always afford.  Because we can't always go on an exotic vacation and leave our worries at home, it is important to cultivate these fulfilling activities, hobbies, interests, social connections in our every day life.  I don't have to worry about reducing stress on vacation.  That's easy.  I do have to balance my time and my energies with my two jobs, my family, my household, my guy, my fitness program, etc.

Having more fun is one of my goals this summer.  Being outside as much as possible is a big part of it.  I am reading the paper outside under a huge maple tree in my front lawn while my dog, Pippa, sits in the grass and plays with her tennis ball.  It's a happy moment for me and Pippa, while it is far removed from Mr. and Mrs. Cabinet who hang around my kitchen.

Taking time for fulfilling activities that make our lives worthwhile is of supreme importance.  We don't ever want to cheat ourselves out of a fabulous life no matter where your mind or body is right now.   We have to make ourselves an important priority and make sure we slow down long enough to enjoy the days as they unfold.  By doing so, this will create a sense of balance and calm while contentment is soon to follow.  Smiles abound, inside and out.

A Meditation on Moving Houses and Yoga Training

It's been a wild two weeks in my life.  I moved one four bedroom house with four people and a dog to another four bedroom house with four people and a dog--all of two miles away.  This involved all of the packing and organizing and cleaning and decluttering as if I were moving across the country.  As I watched the movers and myself lifting and relocating my earthly possessions, I started feeling weighted down by the load.  I am not a hoarder, and I like getting rid of stuff, yet I still have more than I want to deal with.

Immediately after I moved to my new house, I had no time to unpack because I was attending an intensive four-day yoga training for nine hours per day.  Unattachment is a big theme in yoga.  It is a an eastern point of view that says we can free ourselves from anxiety--being too consumed by what might happen.  We can free ourselves from regret over what happened that we have no control over. We can then be open to possibilities that we didn't even know exist.  (simplified definition)

At my training, we also talked about the physical body--the one that so many of us are not happy with.  This is the body that we are judgmental and critical of.  We talked about the "subtle body" that has energy centers and nerve bundles that create tension or ease.  It keeps going...to the point where we discussed that we are NOT OUR PHYSICAL BODIES.  We are not our feelings.  We are not our regrets.  This was freeing for me to hear.

Of course, all of this made me reflect on the weight loss/self improvement journey.   Are we burdened by the "stuff" of life that gets boxed up and relocated as we move from house to house?  Are we lightening the load as we go and learn that it isn't stuff that makes a good life?  Are we surrounding ourselves by what brings us joy and happiness?  That can actually lighten the load--physically and otherwise.  I also am thinking about how cumbersome and heavy it is to carry around things we don't need... like extra weight, judgment, criticism, expectation, comparisons, too much chocolate.

I will not be moving all of these boxes of stuff again.  I will be eliminating even more clutter from my house and my life so that I can be free of  what isn't helping me.  I am going to be consciously asking myself the question when I eat--IS THIS HELPING ME?  IS THIS NOURISHING?  IS THIS WORTH IT?

Slow Down and Pay Attention to the Signs

I was biking in southern Minnesota over the weekend, and I saw small signs along the path that said things like "be choosy, drink more water" and "eat healthfully, at home, with your family" and "live balanced" with icons for food/drinks/activity.  In a bagel shop called "Tandem Bagels" there was a biking theme too.  There was lots of encouragement to ride with free maps and portable, healthy snacks.  It made me realize how refreshing it felt to get positive feedback and support (thanks to the Mayo Clinic for supporting some of these signs) to lead a healthy life.  It was my first time in this part of the state, and I was intentionally taking it all in.

Because I was on my bike for a while, I also had time to think about how much we all could benefit from slowing down and paying more attention.  Slowing down leads to destressing.  Slowing down leads to staying in the moment.  Slowing down leads to smarter choices because we have time to consider our options.  Slowing down promotes living in the moment which keeps us grounded.  This can be especially beneficial when eating meals.   Eating well means that we create a dedicated space, away from work, phones, computers and clutter to enjoy our food.  A table with a chair is most ideal! This is most satisfying when we have given our meal some forethought.  We planned something that looks good, smells good, sounds like it should (crisp veggies crunch), and of course tastes good--which is the most important part.  This positive experience can be even more satisfying when we are not in a rush.  Digestion improves when we eat slowly.  Sensing hunger signals and feelings of satiety improve when we slow down long enough to notice.  This can be accomplished by taking time out and away from work and technology to eat and enjoy.  It sounds so old-fashioned.  However, how many of us do this on a regular basis?  How many of us have meals in transit, in the car, at the desk or in between activities?  When we do this, we rob ourselves of a much needed break and a chance to just enjoy satisfying food and maybe some nice conversation with family or friends.

On this same weekend, I stayed at a Marriot Hotel that had a notecard on the bed talking about the importance of getting a good night's sleep.  It included a list of ways to do this...a warm bath, no technology at least an hour before bed, among other suggestions.  Another healthy message reminding me of things my ancestors knew on their own.  Because they didn't have the pressures of technology ramping up their days and nights, they knew how to slow down and calm down.  We have to relearn these lessons in our digital 21st century world.

There are positive messages pointing us in the right direction, if we just slow down long enough to notice.

Committing to a Healthy Lifestyle--and Recommitting to It

Everyone says they want to live a healthy lifestyle.  The fact of the matter, however, is that living a healthy lifestyle is a work in progress with varying degrees of commitment and success.

First comes the clarity that living a healthy lifestyle includes eating well, drinking lots of water, sleeping well on a regular schedule, managing stress in a pro-active and regular manner, engaging in fitness and aiming for 10,000 steps per day, practicing hobbies and engaging in interests with friends and family.  Whew.... is there time for anything else?  It's a tall order to keep it going.  

It must be said that no matter how strong the desire, the best of intentions don't always lead to success.  Life and its many distractions can be challenging and cause us to lose focus.  Frustration can cause us to lose our drive.  Negative self talk can make us feel like failures.

Second comes recommitment.  We wake up and realize things are unraveling.  Somehow, this healthy lifestyle that we'd like seems to be slipping away....which is when we have to remind ourselves that living healthfully can look a little different every day.   All-in is not possible all the time.   Perfection is not realistic or attainable.  Instead, we need to work on accepting the fact that sometimes--whatever we have to offer--as little as it may be--will have to be "good enough."  In our competitive world "good enough" might feel like a let down.  NOT SO.  "Good enough" on difficult days just might be a great achievement.

Taking the long view and knowing that we can always recommit and refocus as soon as we realize that things are slipping is key.   We are all a work in progress.  There is no end point when it comes to being a healthy, happy person.  So my advice is to focus on the positive and celebrate the successes as they come along.  Make an honest effort to be patient when things are not going well.  And then, keep going.

Mindfulness is a Lifestyle: Dieting is a Misery

There has been much said lately about how "diets don't work."  This is true.  It has always been true. Most people do not have the ability to stop eating foods they love and start eating healthy foods all the time, no matter what, from now until forever.  Who would want to anyway?  It's an impossible task and an unrealistic expectation.  Furthermore, when people suffer through restrictive diets, they lose weight in an unhealthy way.  The metabolism then goes down.  As a result, the weight that was lost is "found" again, plus more, since the metabolism has been lowered, as in permanently.

We don't recommend diets.  We recommend learning new life skills and strategies, over time, that include nutritious meals and snacks that are portion controlled, increased fitness and activity plus fulfilling hobbies, interests and social interaction to create a lifestyle of health, wellness and happiness.

One of the best ways to create this healthier lifestyle comes through the practice of mindfulness.  That simply means that we slow down long enough to pay attention to what we are doing, how we are feeling, where our thoughts are going.  By doing so, we can tap into our true hunger signals and eat to satisfy them.  We can stop and take a break when life becomes overwhelming.  We can focus our awareness on the moment without getting ahead of ourselves.  This reduces stress, decreases the stress hormones like cortisol that makes us crave junky food and retain belly fat.  This makes life feel more manageable.

Slow and steady is truly the path to life-long healthy weight loss and weight maintenance.  Managing stress in pro-active ways (like exercise, meditation, hobbies) is part of the weight loss and weight maintenance puzzle.  Promoting healthy metabolism by eating at regular intervals and drinking water often is part of the puzzle.  Sleeping well and waking up feeling refreshed also contributes to healthy metabolism.

It is all very old fashioned.  Let our expectations of ourselves be just as simple.  Expect change to occur over time.  Expect shifts to happen regularly but often very quietly.  Slow down to notice these things.  Appreciate the process, the journey and the wisdom of learning new things over time.  This is the path to a life well lived.  It always was.

Positive Self Talk

Last week I asked a group about the negative tape that so often plays in our heads.  Every person in the group shared something rather dramatic and very negative about the tape running through their heads.  As each person did this, the rest of the room listened intently and stared in disbelief.  We were looking around at a room full of accomplished people and were surprised to hear what people were thinking.  In most cases, in fact, we were thinking the exact opposite.

It got me thinking about how what we project to the outside world--confidence, positive self esteem, accomplishment and competence may NOT at all be the case on how we are feeling inside.  This matters because we do NOT want to be playing negative tapes that waste valuable energy that could be spent on positivity.

Life can be hard.  There is always something extra to do or think about or organize or accomplish. Multitasking is the name of the game.  Responding right away is also part of what others expect these days.  That can feel like a lot of pressure and stress.  Let's combat that negativity with positive thoughts which will lead to positive feelings and actions.

A racing mind is a sign of stress.  One of the best ways to combat this is to take frequent breaks from technology and work and let some positive images and affirmations in.  This could include a short walk from your desk or a moment to take some deep breaths for a minute or two.  This dials down the pressure and lets the mind recover.

Life is too short to give in to negativity.  It robs us of living in the moment--another way of thinking of mindfulness....which means one thing attention with no judging or comparisons.

I can be guilty of this too.  On occasion, I can get down on myself and feel "less than."  It is a path to real misery that serves no one.  So I work hard on bringing myself back into the moment and focus on the positive.  If I want something different for myself, then I can make a manageable plan.

A work in progress takes time, but it does not take more effort than one has to give.  That's impossible anyway.  It takes acceptance, attention, no judging and courage.  Courage to be yourself as you are today.  No more and no less.