Shift Your Mindset by Leading with the Heart

A big part of improving performance, changing behavior, achieving goals and persisting comes from what's in the heart.  The heart is true unto itself.  It doesn't have to defend.  It doesn't have to make sense--like emotions--it can just be what it is.  The mind, on the other hand, is the governor of actions. The mind can be rational and can listen to the truth coming from the heart.  The body eavesdrops on the mind.  The body will follow the intention of the mind if at all possible.  This is why we hear--if you think you can, you are right; if you think you can't, you're right too.  It's the will of the mind at work.

Of course, there are things that we have to do in the course of the day, week, month, year that might have nothing to do with what is in the heart.  We don't want to be home sick (that's the body's way of talking and saying: REST).  We don't want to do certain jobs at work or home because we don't like them (counting inventory and cleaning bathrooms for me).   We don't want to be stuck in traffic.  But, that's just part of living life.  We do those things and benefit from making the most of them because they make life work better.  It's part of the deal.  

We all know, in our mind, that we should eat less, move more, drink lots of water, consume less sugar, saturated fat and alcohol.  Knowing this in the mind, is not enough to make it happen though.  We have to dig deeper than that.  By digging deeper we get down to what we really want.  Here comes the heart. Then the body can follow.  It sounds easy, but of course, there are multitudinous barriers to success. People, stress, workload, unexpected obstacles, traffic, illness, fatigue, lack of enthusiasm and negative self talk get in the way.  That's why it is so important to be sure the mind is set straight.  The body is listening and will follow along.

This is the week to SHIFT the mindset and see what might happen.  Pay attention to what the mind is meditating on.  95% of our thoughts are actually the same ones we had yesterday.  How boring.  Let's create a shift.  I admit, there is an element of fear in actually getting what you want.  I agree, there is an element of fear in not ever getting what you want.  There is misery in never even trying.  

Lead with the heart.

Govern with the mind.

Listen to the body and see what it can do.

We Need Feedback From Our Tribe

I park in an underground parking garage one day a week for an early morning Weight Watchers meeting downtown in Minneapolis.  I have been doing this for about six months.  The same parking attendant, Dan, has been there nearly every single week.  He is a smiling, friendly presence every time. This week he approached me as I was leaving and asked me if I would sign his birthday card.  He said it was it was his birthday yesterday, and he likes his friends to sign his cards because he saves them and reads them by the fireplace.  He said his wife thinks he is crazy, but this means something to him.

You couldn't have surprised me more.  I have never had anyone ask me to sign their own birthday card. I wrote a note on the back (the inside of the card was full) telling Dan that I appreciate his smile and his friendly demeanor, etc.

An hour later, I was teaching yoga.  At the end of class I usually read a quote or short affirmation from a book.  As usual, I did that, and then two yogis came up to me to take a photo of the book and the affirmation.  They explained to me that this really spoke to them.  One lady explained that she puts a positive quote on the chalkboard in her kitchen every week.  Friends of hers look for it when they visit. I shared the story of Dan and the birthday card.  They said--yes, they too need affirmation and encouragement.

These were two hot strikes in the space of an hour.  It is not a coincidence.  I thought more about this, and this desire to be connected is universal.  We all need feedback, affirmation, something good to meditate on, something worthwhile to reflect over.  Dan asked for it.  In doing so, I learned he has a wife.  I learned that he thinks of me as a friend.  I learned that he is vulnerable and courageous enough to ask for what he needs.

As children, we get regular feedback from parents through guidance and discipline and support.  Our teachers do it too.  We get progress reports, report cards and graduations to the next grade every year. As adults, we don't get consistent feedback because our jobs and relationships aren't tailored the same way.  Yet, we need it just as much.  We thrive on it.  We need to be reminded in the course of a busy day, year, career, adult life that we have defining qualities that attract others to us.  We have characteristics that make us who we are, and we desire recognition and occasional appreciation.

No man or woman is an island.  We need others to keep going.  It makes life worth living and gives us what we need to make the most of our lives.  As we work to improve our health, reduce excess weight and create balance, we can ask for what we want.  We can use that feedback to make us stronger.  We can continue to set the bar high knowing we are not alone.  We never were.

Review Yourself to Stay Accountable

Honesty is a big part of being accountable.  We are often aware of our behavior and the consequences--what we know works and what doesn't.  That's not necessarily enough to keep us on track with personal and professional goals, but it is a starting point.  We are the expert on ourselves.  We live with our thoughts and feelings all day and night.   For this reason, we can evaluate how we are doing--and make appropriate changes to get what we really want.

Unfortunately, sometimes we stand in our own way.  We let ourselves off the hook and simply don't "show up" for what we know is right.  Stress, conflicting demands and other struggles get in our path. That's to be expected because life can be unpredictable.  It is not the end of the road, however it is a temporary set-back to learn from--regroup from--and move on from.

It all comes back to our accountability to ourselves.  It is our wishes, goals and dreams that motivate us to do anything, especially the worthwhile things.  Weight loss is one thing that we never seem to give up on even when it isn't going well.  We may give up on it temporarily, but once we made the decision to lose weight, we won't ever be entirely happy until we reach that goal.  

Consider what you know about yourself, your habits and your honesty.  Give yourself feedback on how you are doing now.  Are you on the right path to getting what you want?  Are you making yourself do the things that you know will help you?  Are you reaching out to others who might be partners sharing the same path?  

If so, keep going.  If not, straighten up and start being more accountable to you.  You deserve to get what you want, but you have to work for it, one day at a time--starting now.

Seasons Change and So Do We

My nineteen year old daughter just started her sophomore year of college in New York today.  My sixteen year old daughter just started her junior year of high school in Minnesota today.  I was posting their "first day" photos on facebook, and it got me thinking about where did the time go?  How could it have passed so quickly?

Of course, time didn't disappear without my knowing it.  My girls started out in prekindergarten and then grade school and then middle school and then high school.  I remember all of those "firsts"--especially the first time I dropped off my older daughter without taking her into the building.  It didn't feel right.  Up until that point, I had walked her in to every new situation of her life.

My daughters are not the only ones who have been changing over these years.  So have I.  Every seven years, all of the cells in the body are renewed and replaced.  That's major change at the most basic level. My thinking has changed over the years too.  Things I wanted before and felt were important look different to me now.  I have had more experiences to shape my opinions.   I have had successes and disappointments.  I have wanted things that have never come to pass.  I have achieved other things that I never saw coming my way.  Haven't we all?

Just like the seasons, we too are part of the natural landscape.  We are ending the season of vitality, the season of feeling good in our own skin, moving around easily, the season of the sun.  We are gradually shifting to the season of letting go, breathing deeply and exhaling even more deeply to release what we don't need.

No matter how old we are--we can all be excited about the start of something new.  Maybe you don't have a new backpack or school shoes, but you have a new lease on your personal goals and heart's desire.  Maybe you have an appreciation for where you have been and can look at the future with enthusiasm.  Maybe you are just ready to be done with summer and its spontaneous entertaining and reckless eating.

It is time to reflect for a moment and consider what we wish to carry with us from the summer.  What has happened that has worked?  What has happened that got us no where?  We can then shift our thinking to the future and what we'd like to have happen this fall.   It is time to shift to more accountability and more success, a change for the better.